With all the graduations going on now, it got me thinking. Aren't we always in a state of graduating? Isn't that the experience we call life? A series of steps that lead to another level of learning, growing, application and awareness. Sure there are specific times that are celebrated and should be like when one completes a level of education or training, but life seems to have its own graduation points. Perhaps if we viewed them this way, we wouldn't see this life thing as such a struggle.

For instance, when people come to see me because they are unsure how to handle this next step of life called retirement, I often suggest that they see it as a graduation. As something to celebrate rather than be nervous about all that time that they will have now that they don't work full time. There is another reason I suggest they see it this way; to retire means to rest or withdraw from and I just don't think this is a good way to go into what could be the most fun time of one's life. Besides, some of the people I know who have graduated are busier now then when they worked!

Think about the steps you have taken in your own life that could be seen as a graduation. What about when you decided to move away from home or when you realized the relationship you were in was not serving either of you and you called it over? Or what about the time you made the commitment to your health and started eating more organically or less chips? These are all places where you grew, learned and committed. Go you!

If we accept the idea of a graduated system, we can also appreciate the fact that we didn't get to graduate high school or an equivalent diploma without going through elementary school. Following this idea, perhaps the first time or two, or three that you attempted to eat healthy were your elementary school experience. Perhaps the friendships with people you realized weren't really friends you would like to hang out with were really the middle school field trip where you learned there was more to this world that you would like to explore.

Maybe not knowing what to do with your life and how you will traverse it is the great graduation point of all times. Accepting that we will never really know what we want to be when we grow up, because we are always growing, and learn to be in whatever experience or grade is happening at the time.

We are proud of graduates. We celebrate them. Even throw parties to commemorate the growth. Why can't we do this for every aspect of our life and learn to be appreciative of the ability to be here in this school playground? I'm not saying we have to get an award for everything we do, or a trophy just for showing up. I'm still a little old school on that one, but we can recognize when we've hit a milestone and be willing to be proud of ourselves.

This past week someone close to me said some pretty hurtful things. I'll admit, I carried it with me for a few days and it hit hard enough to draw tears. Then I remembered I have the say over whether I am hurting about another's actions. They show who they are, not me and I can continue to carry it or I can release it and know that moving forward I will know exactly how she thinks of me and graduate out of that middle school program!

What if this week you took an example from all those moving into new areas of their lives and got brave enough to explore where you are graduating now and do it with celebration?

What if....

Off to play Pomp and Circumstance,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

and that word is integrity. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I'm not really sure why, but it keeps popping in so I figure it is always a good thing to look at when that happens. Sort of the souls way of getting my attention. That thought that won't leave until I hear it out.

So, integrity to me is living in a way that is honest and to my best intention. It may not always reach gold star status but I go to sleep every night knowing I gave my best that day and whatever needs tweaking, I will look for ways to do so the next day. It may not meet others expectations and that is great too because I am not living in integrity if I am worrying that someone else may not like what I am doing or not doing for them.

Maybe I am a throwback to the decades before but remember when a handshake and your word was what got you credit, land, or a partner? I love that. I love that it takes work, the word grit is in the middle of it for goodness sake, to maintain it and the reward is amazing. Instant character building when you are turned down because you didn't represent well in the past. No masks to hide behind, no credit score or false compliments. The more time I spend on this planet in this lifetime, I crave this honesty.

Some have said I can be too honest with what I think and feel and yes, it can come out without any protective wrapping. I would never want to hurt someone consciously so I have been more mindful about the delivery lately, at least I hope so but don't you just love when there is compete openness and freedom to say whatever one feels with people. This has really shaped my relationships this last year. I choose to be with those that are really active in their own growth. They can move at their own pace, that is fine, but if we are only going to talk about others and what is going on outside of self, I have to be going, thanks for the invite.

Maybe that does sound harsh but ask yourself this, do you want to go to bed every night feeling like you enjoyed your day or lamenting how you will never get that hour back that someone wanted to talk about celebrities or inconsequential subjects? They mean something to you, as each of us have our own interests and I honor that, but I don't have to spend my time with you then if we don't line up. This life is here to be invested in with it's precious commodity of experiences. Shouldn't they be ones that light you up?

I spent quite a bit of my life doing what others wanted me to or being who they wanted me to be. It got me health issues and extra fluff to carry around. It also made me not such a nice person to be with because I wasn't showing how sensitive I was to what they were asking of me. To be someone other than who I am. I reacted so rather than be in that space any longer, integrity with who I am became very important which has lead to wanting the same from others. If that is too tough for those who are in my life, then well, there is the door and I wish you well and lots of ice coffee on the road.

• Is there anywhere in your life where you are not living in integrity with yourself? 
• Are their relationships that you are tolerating whether they are personal, professional or with yourself? 
• Where would you like to improve the experience of your life so you can say you are living in integrity with your own souls path?
• Does whether someone thinks highly of you matter more than what you feel about yourself? Are their feelings more important than your own? 
• Do you allow yourself to tap in and see how you feel before you commit to a date, project, conversation or volunteer action? 
• Have you had a conversation with YOU lately? 

I believe we are all contributing to an energy that is great and if we can be good with ourselves, we will have less strife and issues with others. Won't that be lovely?

What is your word? What message are you receiving lately in the form of repetitive words? Pay attention. There are great clues to your own happiness in that voice inside asking you to hear it.

Word,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com