I believe in divine timing and I really believe in messages from the universe so when the two started to converge on me this week, I knew what the next blog post needed to be about. Our teams.

Call it your team, your tribe, your peeps or your family; we all need a team. I didn't always believe this. I came into this world fiercely independent. I also really love my alone time. It has often been ironic to me that I chose a family of eight kids to learn how to balance the two. That many kids in a two and a half bedroom house does not give built in alone time. It gives a tribe, that is true, but to a soul who craves being alone as much as she craves a stage, it was very confusing. It still is some days and I am the only human in my house now!

It isn't always the body count that contributes to the feeling of a team either. We can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. We can also realize that the people around us aren't the souls we align with anymore. I heard this from four clients in a row this week. That would be be the message from the universe part!

Four people said in their own way how they felt alone in the world. They felt they had no back up and that even with the people in their world, they felt a disconnect of sorts. Perhaps there is something going on in the universe energetically right now, or perhaps people are starting to realize that the feeling of belonging can't and won't come from just having people around. The world we engage in has to feel like a fit and that it fills us up spiritually for us to not feel alone. In order for that to happen, we have to be willing to look at the relationship to ourselves and then that to the community.

Having a relationship with oneself takes courage. Most people going through the day not even knowing what they like to eat, what dreams they have or what their honest feelings are. The disconnect is impressive and that is what I feel people are referring to when they say they feel lonely or alone in the world. They have lost aspects of themselves and don't realize it. In disconnecting that way, they often attract to them the souls that are not the most supportive. I know I have done this in the past. It doesn't feel great.

The divine timing part of all of this is just this past weekend I was on a real team. A team pulled together by a guy named Will Smith; no not the actor but boy is this guy funny too! The story around which I met him is an amazing one but much too long for this blog. Suffice it to say I KNOW there was divine intervention in this one. So, I'm on this team of people who all know, and want to celebrate Will's recovery and kick a*s return to health after a quadruple bypass at the age of thirty seven. Some of the people on the team I know really well, others I have met a few times. What struck me as we were running the course though was, this team started together and we finished each obstacle together. No one ran ahead with their own agenda because our common goal was to finish feeling good about ourselves and celebrating our friends determination to be here on Earth for a whole lot longer. Each of us pulled our own arses over walls and helped others to do the same. Whether the people were on our team or not, we helped and they helped us. It took all I had to not bawl on the course at the feeling of what a completely supportive team feels like. Ok, some of the desire to cry may have been from the gash in my leg, but pffft, that was nothing compared to the rush of joy I was feeling being a part of this metaphor for life.

Life is hard sometimes and damn it, there are walls in the way. There may even be trenches with mud and barbed wire (there were, there really were) but with a team that feels they are responsible for carrying their own selves while looking out and helping others; it really is possible.

It took a lot of courage for me to invite myself (I did. I really did) on to the team. I risked the no because the desire in me to be part of something that scared the sh*t out of me but I knew would return great results, was bigger than my fear. That same courage is in each of us inherently. We all have it. We can all pledge to do a Rugged Maniac of our own as we are going into the metaphoric bypass of life.

Your team is going to change over time. There will be the end of classes, the end of relationships or a change in locations. People will leave because they think you aren't in their best interest and you will leave people because they aren't in yours. You may realize that the family you are biologically related to never understood you and that it's ok because there is a team out there that does.

You are alone. We all are. Newsflash; that is part of the souls progress. To realize, feel good about and find courage in being alone and then go out and create your team. The feeling good about being alone is where the courage comes to create a supportive team around you. Sure, it is a tough thing but its not terminal unless you allow it to be. You can go to the woe is me I am alone place or you can choose to realize, well yeah, I am alone because I am the only me but I can take that awesome me into the world and connect with others. Please choose the latter.

Maybe this week you could look around you and see who is on your team.

• Are they supportive of you doing the obstacle course (life) or are they calling watch out and be careful from the sidelines in an attempt to hold you back either from their own fear of life or comparison issues? 
• Are you able to be present when you are with them or are you thinking about how to get out of the time together? (If you are thinking about how to get out of it, you are not the supportive team member and perhaps should remove yourself from the team.)
• Do you feel that you can be your own individual selves on this team. Completely capable of surmounting a Jacob's Ladder in life but willing to accept or offer a hand of support when offered? (Thank you Justin for the knee to get over that wall. I will work on that upper body hauling practice this year!)
• Is it time to leave a team member? Wish them well on their course as you cruise your own? 
• Do you have an idea of what a supportive team would look like? Maybe you have never experienced that before and have to start at the place of identifying the desired characteristics of your team members. 

Essentially, team members will support each other in their desire to grow, climb, jump or fly through the obstacle course of life and celebrate the amazing ability to be in each others lives. I don't know about you, but I have seen this last year that life does in fact come with a select amount of time for each of us and it is our duty to ourselves to make the most of it. We all have the same twenty four hours in a day but how we spend those are up to us. Choose to spend them wisely. Choose to spend them in mud if you would like; it's a heck of a lot of fun!

So excited to see how my team grows,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Two weeks ago I did something that scared me a little bit, ok, a whole lot. I took a certification class to teach indoor cycling. I love the premise of indoor cycling; a good workout on a piece of equipment that mimics my road bike and where I don't have to watch for dogs, kids or be grill art for a driver who isn't paying attention.

It scared me, not because of the physical challenge, but more because this is not an area I have ventured into before. Sure, I've taken classes and I've observed other instructors but I haven't had to guide someone while they are peddling their little hearts out. However, I have a rule; if it scares me a little; I have to consider doing it. I don't mean I have to go hand to hand combat with a mugger scared, but the kind of scared that I know I am going to feel really good for having attempted it in the first place. I know this feeling because I have tested this theory on many occassions. One when I decided to get married at a young age, two when I took on the responsibility of a family, three when I quit my well paying, secure job to start my own company and fourth when I called a personal trainer for the first time three years ago because I wasn't sure whose health was worse; mine or my husband who had already been diagnosed with the arteries of an eighty year old.

There have been so many other times where that holy sh*t, this is scary have come up of course, but in true New Englander fashion, I would suck it up and just move through it. The difference now is I don't ignore those feelings anymore. I give them a voice and acknowledge that yes, I could live in fear of trying things or I could have that really great feeling of accomplishment and self love for having agreed to raise my hand to life and join in. You can probably tell I go with the latter these days.

One of the statements the amazing guy certifying us, Javier Santin, said that got my attention was that a workout didn't have to be HARD to be beneficial. He used the example of a teacher screaming "Ride harder, work harder, hard, hard, hard!" Then said "what the heck is hard? What is hard for me may not be hard for you and vise versa." I loved this, not only because I have said it soooooo many times to people when they say they couldn't work out/live/see life/etc. the way I do, but because it is so true. Comparison shopping on what is hard will only paralyze us into taking no action because we are too scared someone will notice we don't "measure up".

 I'm asking you... who the hell cares? Who cares what another person in doing in relation to what you are doing? Who cares if the person went 22 miles and you did two? YOU DID TWO! That is fantastic. Who cares what they have accomplished by this time in their life and you don't have the same. WHO CARES? I think it is time we all looked inside and asked if we care about ourselves and use that as the inspiration to find what lights us up. It takes courage to ask ourselves what matters to us because we have been so trained to compare.

I went into this training with a critic in my head saying "you aren't a trainer. You will be the fat kid in class again. You think you can ride, but you really can't" "Who is going to take a class where the emphasize is fun and acknowledging that they showed up?" That voice was in there, but you know what? It got to say what it wanted and then it went away. I was willing to look at the statements and even though they were hard to look at and hear; I accepted they were there and then shifted them with my breathing and Belief Re-patterning.

In doing this I realized that hard is a great acronym and we all know how much I love my acronyms. So, what if we saw anything that is hard as an opportunity to Have A Real Discussion? What if when something seems challenging and you say "but it's too hard", you actually are willing to have a real discussion with your whole self and determine if it truly is hard or are you listening to the voice inside that is encouraging you to give up before you even attempt anything?

So what do you say we do a little bit of group Belief Re-patterning here. Say each statement out loud and then take a breath in through your nose and out your mouth. Be willing to hear any of the Gremlins in there if they want to talk. All of you matters and once voiced, usually they will feel heard and calm their little buns down. If not; you know where to find me.

• "I forgive myself for believing that life is meant to be hard."
• "I give myself permission to release this lesson I have been taught and learn to increase ease in my life."
• "I can choose to see anything new as hard or I can choose to see it as an exciting opportunity to learn. I choose to see it as an opportunity to learn."
• "I am free to use supportive language when communicating with myself." 
• " I remember when I thought _____________ was hard, but with a little practice, I learned how to enjoy the process." (For me; I remember when I thought doing group events were hard, but with a little practice I learned how to really love them. I now incorporate indoor cycling to those group events!")
• "I am learning to be at ease with the process of life."

Don't you feel amazing now? Did you remember to breathe after each one. It really makes a difference.

So, as I do most weeks, I encourage you to watch yourself as you go through this week and when you hear the excuse of something is hard, stop and breathe, find the ease in it and move forward!

I so appreciate each of you being on this ride with me and am excited to see what we discover next!

Easing on down the road, (You are welcome for the ear worm!)
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com