With all the graduations going on now, it got me thinking. Aren't we always in a state of graduating? Isn't that the experience we call life? A series of steps that lead to another level of learning, growing, application and awareness. Sure there are specific times that are celebrated and should be like when one completes a level of education or training, but life seems to have its own graduation points. Perhaps if we viewed them this way, we wouldn't see this life thing as such a struggle.

For instance, when people come to see me because they are unsure how to handle this next step of life called retirement, I often suggest that they see it as a graduation. As something to celebrate rather than be nervous about all that time that they will have now that they don't work full time. There is another reason I suggest they see it this way; to retire means to rest or withdraw from and I just don't think this is a good way to go into what could be the most fun time of one's life. Besides, some of the people I know who have graduated are busier now then when they worked!

Think about the steps you have taken in your own life that could be seen as a graduation. What about when you decided to move away from home or when you realized the relationship you were in was not serving either of you and you called it over? Or what about the time you made the commitment to your health and started eating more organically or less chips? These are all places where you grew, learned and committed. Go you!

If we accept the idea of a graduated system, we can also appreciate the fact that we didn't get to graduate high school or an equivalent diploma without going through elementary school. Following this idea, perhaps the first time or two, or three that you attempted to eat healthy were your elementary school experience. Perhaps the friendships with people you realized weren't really friends you would like to hang out with were really the middle school field trip where you learned there was more to this world that you would like to explore.

Maybe not knowing what to do with your life and how you will traverse it is the great graduation point of all times. Accepting that we will never really know what we want to be when we grow up, because we are always growing, and learn to be in whatever experience or grade is happening at the time.

We are proud of graduates. We celebrate them. Even throw parties to commemorate the growth. Why can't we do this for every aspect of our life and learn to be appreciative of the ability to be here in this school playground? I'm not saying we have to get an award for everything we do, or a trophy just for showing up. I'm still a little old school on that one, but we can recognize when we've hit a milestone and be willing to be proud of ourselves.

This past week someone close to me said some pretty hurtful things. I'll admit, I carried it with me for a few days and it hit hard enough to draw tears. Then I remembered I have the say over whether I am hurting about another's actions. They show who they are, not me and I can continue to carry it or I can release it and know that moving forward I will know exactly how she thinks of me and graduate out of that middle school program!

What if this week you took an example from all those moving into new areas of their lives and got brave enough to explore where you are graduating now and do it with celebration?

What if....

Off to play Pomp and Circumstance,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had surgery? I hope not, but if you have, one of the bits of advice they give you is to not chase the pain. There is going to be pain. Don't let it get to the point where it is so high that it takes more time for the meds to work. That interferes with healing process and just seems silly. So, if we have figured this out for when a part of us has to be cut into, why haven't we figured this out for the emotional self. These are the types of things I think about on a daily basis. Don't you want to be in my head for a bit?  No?  Ok, fine, then I will share here sort of out loud. :)

Being stressed is the emotional equivalent to physical pain. It also leads to physical pain. When we are stressed our body is under incredible pressure. The stress creates a back pressure that builds up and builds up and eventually has to be released. Often this comes out in temper, tears or frustrating outbursts. Those are the healthy expressions. If not released it becomes organ issues, blood pressure problems, and all the diagnosis that include the word dis-ease.

What I have been wondering is why we let it get to that point? Why do we wait until we are going to explode to communicate what we would like and to make some changes? Why do we wait until the pain is so great that we can't even articulate the issue?

There is going to be pain. There is no way around that in this lifetime if you have loved anyone or anything, there is going to be pain. If you have worked your buns off but don't get the promotion, there is going to be pain. If you stub your toe, there is going to be pain. We spend so much time avoiding the conversations that are painful that we eventually end up having them in very ineffective ways that usually include yelling, crying or walking out in temper. The other way we handle it is to cover it up with numbing agents be it drugs, food, prescription meds etc.

Why not treat it proactively as in pain control? You don't have to take a narcotic, you can do deep breathing, you can use oils or any of the other ways to decrease pain. You don't have to numb out to handle pain but it would be great to be able to say, hey, I may have a little pain in this life. I may want to develop the skills to manage that pain so should it show up I am not dealing with the issue, in pain and looking for the skill to shift at the same time while posting to social media.

What if you added a few of these to your tool kit of pain management?

• Increased your communication skills so you can talk about what you are experiencing so you can ask for help if necessary. I am suggesting communication, not getting lost in your story!
• Developed the mechanism to recognize you are building up some steam and it would be a good idea to release it before your whistle goes off.
• Used techniques like breathing, Belief re-patterning, therapy, EFT, tapping or kick boxing.
• Evaluated how you felt so you would know if you were building up or maintaining.
• Were willing to admit you may not know it all, don't want to be it all or carry it all. Courage, it takes courage, but you have it. I know you do.
• Were willing to drop the drama (along with that will go a lot of pressure, trust me) and address whatever is going on from a calm and collected place.
• Were able to ask yourself "is this true or is this something I have embellished to create pain?".

There are as many different ways to handle pain as there are people in this world. We have to be willing to get in front of the issue and decrease the pressure so we can come to solutions that are supportive. I truly believe that someone who hurts another is one who is hurt themselves. It doesn't excuse hurting another, but if we could create an environment where expressing that hurt and being willing to release it was acceptable, more people would depressurize and we wouldn't have so much illness or conflict. How great would that be?

What can you do this week to recognize your own pain level and take steps to alleviate, without creating drama or sitting in it, that pain? What could you do to support your desire to be here and living a life that, while may have an occasional hiccup, is a pretty darn good ride?  You have to be willing to do your own work. Don't look for another to do it for you or both will end up hurt and the one willing to see the pain, will be the one walking away.

Be brave and be good to you!

Looking under my own hood,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Remember the lyrics, "There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza, there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole?"  I was talking with someone the other day and kept hearing these lyrics but the word was boat not bucket. I chose to ignore them as I really didn't see the relevance, until I am sure the other side wacked me with a bucket!

 

We were talking about doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Which, by now, we all know is Einstein's definition of insanity. Only this time the action was doing the same thing, KNOWING, it wasn't the best way to go but choosing to ignore the knocking of insanity and doing it anyway. The picture I got in my minds eye, along with the song, was someone continuing to row a boat aware there is a leak but ignoring it, hoping something would change.

We all do this to some degree. We ignore the behavior of a loved one hoping they will change or the niggling message in our head that says take the stairs rather than the elevator (Unless of course you are in my building, then take the elevator because the stairs are locked at all times. Don't get me started.) We also ignore our own potential because it may seem too difficult to show up or someone else won't like it. But you know what I have come to realize this year? We all only have our one boat, our body and vessel in this lifetime, so if we keep ignoring it, that hole is going to get mighty big my friend and then pretty soon, there is glub, glub, glub, sinking to the fishies.

The beauty of being individuals is we all have different boats. We all have different holes. (Well, that doesn't sound good but you get my point.) So, what is the hole you are ignoring hoping it will miraculously fill itself in? What voice are you not listening to that could follow up the next line with, well fix it, my dear, fix the hole in the bucket?

Take some time, if you wish, it's your boat, to ask yourself if you have a hole in your relationships, your career,  your spirituality, your health or your emotions. These are typically the areas that pop up when we talk about leaks. If you recognize one, don't panic! Look around and see if there is any tool to help repair the hole. Is there a person who could help? Is there a manual? Boat leaks for Dummies maybe?  (Hey, don't laugh, those books have great information!) Is there a way to connect with that, knowing part of you which already has the solution?

Bottom line, being willing to acknowledge there is a leak is the first step, the next is being willing to figure out how you can both repair it AND continue to fish, or float or sail to your next horizon. This isn't about blaming the hole, it is simply about awareness and being willing to apply a patch.

Be brave and know that even though you have a bucket, it doesn't mean you have to keep bailing out the boat. 

If you need help, contact me, I'm pretty good at helping people shore up their floatation devices. :)

Row, row, row your boat,

Vicki

Ever have one of those experiences presented to you that you KNOW is in your best interest but your gut tells you that it is going to be BIG and maybe a little scary to show up to? Kind of like a root canal or committing to a degree program, yeah that is what this week had felt like to me so far. Actually the degree program would probably be less stressful and I would get to buy school supplies, who doesn't love that?

A couple of months ago I had agreed to speak at an event where I would be challenged to encourage change, teamwork and a can do attitude. I thought, oh that's easy, I can do that, I do that every day in my work and LOVE it. So I readily agreed. Did I mention that this would be at the place where I had spent a lot of time and did a ton of growing, not always in a loving way and sometimes in a contortionist ouch that hurts way? No? Well, yes it was. I still thought, oh good, full circle, this is good too Vicki, just do it, kind of like Nike!  Get in there, do your talk, we all know I can talk, and be grateful for the experience. So I did.

Let me preface this by saying I am VERY grateful for the experience and truly believe in the place still. So, here come the hard part...IT WAS HARD! It was difficult to go in and not be a part of the organization but as my former favorite roommate at this place would say, the red headed step child. I never really got that statement until this week. I have had times, like all of us, where I didn't feel like I fit and most of the time I can just roll with it and ask what am I supposed to learn here and be done with it, yeah, a little harder here. It was harder because the rules had changed. I wasn't an employee, I was the hired help (well, technically the not hired help as I waived my fee because if you are going to be in pain, you may as well do it for free, right? Oy.). I was the one that was questioned when I first got there what service could I possibly provide (yes, this was said out loud to me and not an ego thing, although it could become one if I let it, I didn't.) and they hoped my talk was interesting. No pressure right?

So, long story short, I did my talk and I didn't like it. You know why I didn't like what I said, which was the same things I had written out and loved? I didn't like it because I bailed on me. I conformed to what they wanted. I gave the talk some did not want to hear, as was evident by some hand gestures in the audience. Here is a clue to those of you attending talks, WE CAN SEE YOU doing those faces and gestures and I can only assume the subject made them uncomfortable and send compassion. Later I could have a melt down but in front of people, no way.

I allowed a situation to dictate who I was and pull me out of the alignment I work so hard to maintain. I allowed someone to say to me, it is ok you are an intuitive but don't use any of that here. Deja vu I gotta tell ya, daja vu. So in that very moment when I was driving away from the venue I made a commitment to myself that I would only do events that were in alignment with who and what I am and the others can hire those that will give speeches that align with their desire to repeat past patterns. I was not the chick for the job. That was so clarifying and freeing because if I'm not me, no one else will be so I gotta rock this intuitive Vicki thing.

The reason I share this besides the fact I am an open book, is that you may have had similar situations and not known what to do with the emotions or the reactions that come up. Well, you look at them, you examine your part and you let it go if someone else doesn't like what you have to say. You show up for YOU and you embrace all your wonderful qualities and allow those that want to point fingers to do so, but don't agree to be on the firing range.

As the quote says, your vision will become clear when you look inside of you. I'm here to ask you to do that BEFORE you walk into a situation no matter how much you want to believe people change and are accepting. Some just aren't, bottom line. How you feel about you is the most important and perceptions of others, well, they just aren't that important. Should you find yourself in the situation, don't panic, just take a breathe and line back up with what you know to be true.

I will take this experience and still be grateful for it for I truly believe there is a message in any situation. Then I will be thankful to myself that I have been willing to change and am excited for any opportunity that can help me do it some more. I know I will be less likely to do the contortionist thing again because I will see it so much quicker next time. The beauty of life experience.

Here is to learning how to navigate this spiritual experience in a human body one glorious lesson at a time.

Viewing life with just a little bit more awe,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being un-apologetically you.” 

― Steve Maraboli

 Can you imagine that? Can you feel how it would be to go through a day and just be you? The freedom to feel whatever you want, when you want and be able to articulately express it in a way that brings awareness and completion to self. Of course, we all have this right but is the ability there?

I have found in my work that most of the time people do not even realize that have this right never mind having been taught to show up as themselves and no one else. Not the person your parents wanted you to be or your first partner or the boss who signs your paycheck, but just you. My belief is that if we don't start doing this for ourselves we will be missing out on one of the greatest parts of being human...us.

Unless we learn to listen to self and be willing to be brave enough to step out on the stage of our own lives we will continuously be shortchanging ourselves. I am not saying rent a billboard and tell everyone how fantastic you are, although if you want to, go for it, I am saying simply holding that energy of "I'm good and whatever is going on around me does not define me nor does it have to short circuit me unless I choose to allow it to."

The theory that the world is ending brings that BEST time to shift how you have been living. I mean think about it, if it was ending wouldn't you want to be authentic in your last couple of weeks, days, minutes? I know I would but I also know it isn't ending and even when we croak, it's not ending so therefore my focus is a bit different, but I digress. If your physical life in this time was coming to the transition place, wouldn't you want the opportunity to look at it and see where you could be in alignment more or get there?

Well, we have that opportunity every day it's just most of us don't take it because no one is putting our feet to the fire and we are great procrastinators. I have been using the whole December 2012 energy to ask myself if how I am living is how I want to be living. Is who I am who I want to be? How can I bring more light and joy and clearing to myself, my body and my soul so that when I do croak I can have that all important meeting with myself and say "ya know what kid, ya did ok."

I am going to challenge you to do the same and not because I feel my way is the only way but because I KNOW how good it feels to be authentic and to be able to be who you are without apologies to anyone, especially yourself and I want you to feel that good too. No, it isn't a constant state of blissed out I love ya man, but it is pretty darn good to be in it the majority of the time and to know that when I am not, it is possible but also my responsibility to raise the vibration.

So, where is your life are you not being authentic? Where are you going through the motions and not living to your true nature, whatever that might be? You don't have to change all of it at once, choose one area and shift that and then allow another and shift that. If you need help, you know where to find me.

Use the humans tendency for drama and each time you hear something about December 21st, 2012, stop, breathe and ask yourself if you are in alignment with self and if you get a no, ask gently how you could help you get there. Yes, it feels a bit weird at first but once you get used to checking in with you, you won't be able to go back to the old way of hiding, or lying to self. It just won't feel right any longer.

For all the obligations of the holiday season remember to check in and see if you really want to participate because if you can't go authentically, then you shouldn't go at all.

Viewing life from a place of gloriousity today,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com