Most of us are familiar with the statement, raise the bar, meaning to have higher standards, reach a more lofty goal, stretch yourself beyond where you are today. While the premise is good, I have a little issue with the idea and the teaching of that as a way to excel.

You see, often people take this literally and spend their lives reaching for that proverbial bar and never really live life. I love a goal, intention, marker, point to shoot for, personal record, measurement of growth, but I also love being in the moment and squeezing as much out of it as possible.

I see so many people walking through life with the question of what am I here to do? What is my purpose? What can I aspire to? These are great questions, but if you aren't able to stop and listen, what the heck is the point of asking? If you are going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what is my next accomplishment, was it even worth trying in the first place?

I am not suggesting we become a society of slackers, but I am suggesting that we look up and see if we can see the bar. Is is a few inches above your head or is it so far in the distance you can't even see it? Is your next goal something that is attainable in the short term or is it something so far off, like debt free living, a doctorate or a perfect weight that even stretching for it feels hard?

Ask yourself these questions to see where your bar is:

• Do I know what I want in my life? Can I ask for more? (If the answer is no, that is great, you just need a little time to figure this out.)
• Do I put the goals of what I want so far out of reach that it becomes a form of self sabotage? (when they aren't attained you can beat yourself up for not doing it again!)
• Am I afraid to have a bar because that means I may have to ask for more and not be happy with where I am? (It's a cycle isn't it?)
• Do I settle? Do I allow relationships to be one sided (theirs)? Am I in a job that doesn't light me up? Do I believe happiness is for the other person and not me? Their bar is better than my bar. (I'd like to call BS on this one!)
• Do I feel I am worth a bar, and success and happiness? (This one is self explanatory don't you think?  Worthiness, sigh, that little bugger.)
• Can I step back and appreciate the bar that has been there and see it as an ally rather than a foe holding space over my head?

These are simply some methods to help you become aware of where you bar is or if you have one. It is important to want to grow, to want more satisfaction, to aspire to self love. It really is, so what are you waiting for?

Imagine being in a place where that bar is simply a measurement of your own personal happiness. Imagine liking yourself so much the bar is no longer a form of achievement but rather a fun door frame to run up to, jump and smack with satisfaction. High five the bar! Imagine being able to relax and enjoy life and savor the moment of where you are as being enough. What is the sense of having a bar if you can't sit at it an enjoy it once in awhile? 

I realize that the idea of having and doing more is a big message in our society. I'd like to introduce the idea of balance into that. Wanting and having more are a good thing. Making yourself ill in the process is not. Find your balance this week. Use that bar to support you and gently inspire you to grow. Be grateful for where you are and breathe there for just a moment. Nice isn't it? 

Bar none, you are my favorite people, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

How does it get to be the holidays so fast? It seems like one minute we are planning picnics and summer vacations and the next there are decorations out for December holidays in October. I know time doesn't exist on the other side but it seems to be flying on this side.

This year I have had a new perspective of the holiday season. I've never been a traditional gal. I don't get super excited to shop and trust me, cooking is never a woo hoo moment for me so planning a meal does not make me gleeful. I do love the music and the lights and the little kids excitement but the rest of it seems like too much fuss directed at acquiring more stuff and stressing us out. At some point this last year I decided I wanted experiences to be my gift to me this year. I can't say where it happened but I am glad I became aware that stuff couldn't make me happy, I had to do that myself!

I wonder if this perspective wouldn't help others enjoy the months of November and December and beyond! So often when someone says Happy Holidays (and yes, I am totally happy with this expression...it has happy in it!) they don't mean it. They may not even believe that a happy holiday season is possible. There may be so many stressors that they are only wishing to move past the time of holidays and get to a more normal schedule. Does this sound familiar? Do you want to fast forward past the parties and shopping and wrapping? Do you want to stay solvent in your energy as well as your wallet? Do you miss family members, either because they passed or because there is family tension and Happy Holidays seems nauseating?

What if you decided to take this holiday season like you would take a hairpin turn? What if you downshifted, held the wheel with confidence and trusted that you have come through other holiday seasons and you will this one too, with the added benefit of enjoying it too!

What if you decided that time with someone was worth more than any item you may have to dust? I don't want anyone stressing over what to give me. I want to see a smile. I want to hear you donated to a charity instead of buying me something, or I want to hear, Vicki, want to go to dinner and we will enjoy each others company AND eat out? (Remember, I don't cook!)

What if we slowed time down and realized the holidays are really for celebrating and honoring all of what we already have? If you take that corner too fast you may not stay on the road and risk a crash, but if you are conscious and take it with care, it will be exhilarating.

Try something new this year. Listen to you and really ask what you would like to do on a day of honoring. For Thanksgiving this year, I am thanking my body for supporting me this year and rather than stuffing my face I will be doing a race that raises money for enrichment programs. We will have a dinner with the kids at another time, but this is what I want to do this year and I am giving myself that gift as well as providing an example of authenticity. Traditions are important but how do new ones get started if we don't give ourselves permission to navigate those turns?

Whatever your holiday celebration is, I wish you the best of you and the time you get to spend with others. The saying is so true that we can't take items with us when we go, but I promise you, we take the connections we have made and we hold them dear. How we spend our time here matters when we are no longer physical, shouldn't it matter while we are?

Celebrating you in my life,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

"Release the demons and the allow the diamonds to show up."vb

This is a statement I said to a client today while in a session. We were discussing how cute we are as humans when we hold on to things that are no longer serving us. We are tenacious sometimes with who wronged us or things that didn't go our way as well as if it happened to a perfect stranger. I agree compassion is a lost art sometimes but so is moving on it seems.

There has been A LOT of moving for me over the last few months. I am sure you can tell because there has been less posts than even normal for me and there has been some periods of pure silence. This is not intentional to keep people out of the loop, this is so I can navigate the loop! There are these twists and turns and inversions and other loopdiloops that will not only turn your stomach, they will create a feeling of discombobulation. (I love that word. I have since it was on our vocabulary list in sixth grade!) Which end is up and where am I going?

As you may be aware, in August we sold the store and practitioner space at Connections. I stayed on for the transition knowing that in order for it to shift and grow I would have to exit stage left. I did this in the beginning of October. I found the cutest office just mere feet from the old location and settled in for what I hoped was a collaborative relationship. This did not happen. I found out, after some other people, that the new owner felt it necessary to close the store. While the reasons are not important, the hole I felt was. I felt a great loss of community and a great sadness for those that for three years had found comfort and a place of acceptance in Connections. Sure, some didn't have any money but the scent of incense was free and the feeling of being safe for just a few minutes was priceless. I also felt powerless to solve this. It is, of course, not mine to solve. This was a BIG realization for me. I would just have to let go and continue to move on.

I could hold on to the disappointment, the sadness and even the grief of something that we poured so much energy and heart into or I could realize this disappointment may be my greatest teacher yet. Things didn't go as I saw them going (enter other people's free will) and I wasn't in a place of power to do anything about it although I tried. I brainstormed with Howard, I cried, I yelled, I pouted (not proud of that one) and eventually realized I had to let go. I had to back up and let things come to a halt in order to go forward again. I can't speak for the store Connections because legally we don't own it but damn it, I can speak to the energy that was Connections and turn this demon into a diamond.

I can thank each and every person who came across our path in the process of creating the store from the suppliers, to the customers near and far, to our amazing practitioners, to the people who wandered in and didn't have a clue what we were. I can thank Spirit for whispering (yelling) in my ear to open a store on North Street. I can thank the employees over the years and the incredible support we received from community when people would call to check on Howard after each of his surgeries. I can thank our families for putting up with empty chairs at functions because we had to open the store and I can thank all of the little kids who ever played in the fountain. I can thank our neighbors in the Central Block for being so fun and for caring as well as our landlords for being great people and answering the phone when Vicki called and said, "did you know the water is running continuously in the janitor closet or Did you know the alarm is going off?". ahhhh, Rich will probably not miss me too much. :) I can thank ourselves for still showing up when we were exhausted and not sure we could go on or make a profit or even wanted to talk about incense and rocks ever again.

I have been thanking each and every aspect of this process and yes, if I hear one more time that I will know what the lesson is soon enough, I may scream but I'd be screaming at me because I keep saying it to myself. You see, I don't believe I am an effective intuitive coach if I am not willing to look at my own stuff and walk this walk of blending the physical life with spirituality!

I believe that the disappointment of these last two weeks are helping me to appreciate the beauty around me and all the things I have in this life and for that diamond, I am incredibly grateful. The demons of yesterday and many decades of issues have shifted and for that I am thankful. I am sure there will be other levels of releasing and perhaps even grief as we move through the next few months, but ya know what? I create diamonds wherever I go and I am so grateful for the knowledge that it is even possible.

I thank you for reading this and wish you great happiness and diamond gathering as well.
Vicki


www.vickibaird.com