Do you like people? I do, I really do. There may be some I choose to be with more than others but people are fun. In this chapter I talked about our individual topography. Who are we in our own fabulous selves? I am so glad this chapter came up this month because just yesterday I said to my theracoach (She's both a therapist and a life coach. How blessed am I?) "I don't know where I stand. Am I single? Am I still married, because it feels like I am. Am I independent? Flying solo? I know I am not a widow because I am not a fan of the word. The spider is fine, but the word is not for me."  I know I am my own person and thankfully we had that kind of relationship where we weren't dependent on each other for air, but what the what, man? Where am I?


Call it practice or knowing myself, but I ended up answering her by saying, I am Vicki and that is all I need to know right now. I will focus on that and allow the other questions to float out into cyberspace to never return, hopefully! I am the only person who can be me and you are the only one who can be you. Isn't that fantastic? 

As you read through this, assess for yourself where you may be entering into another persons topography and establish clear property lines. Believe it or not, when we stand in who we are, relationships get really, really good!

Here is to your IT.....

My IT may not be Your IT, but it’s Still an IT

Everywhere you turn there are people, people who are busy with their lives, people who are ignoring their lives and people who are living their lives to the fullest. I love people in all of these areas, I love people. It may sound corny but it is true. I love the intricacy of people and how creative we are in our expressions. I believe there is an inherent nosiness in us that keeps us looking at others and trying to figure out what they have that we don’t. Call it an innate desire to grow or just plain ole nosiness, it really doesn’t matter; we do it.

Remember that saying “keeping up with the Jones’s”? Well, that is similar to what is inherent in us without the materialism. How much have you learned from someone over your life time? Certainly you learned how to talk, eat, and walk along with a myriad of other skills. Just watch a baby when you are talking with them, they will mimic the lip movements you make, so cute yet so smart. Yet, somewhere in the path it starts to go the other way, where we look to others and compare. I know you do it, we all do it. 

We look to them to see if they have better clothes, are they happier, do they know something we don’t know or are they looking us? Again, this is something that is innate in us but somewhere along the message gets changed or conditioned and we forget we are individuals and all special. For each of us there is a divine spark, that gas that keeps us moving and wanting to learn on this wonderful planet and if we listen to that as an individual frequency, I believe we would all be happier.

There have been teachings that we are all one and I believe that confused people. While I do believe we contribute to the whole, we are individual humans inside our individual souls excitedly exploring this energy based universe. If there was more thought to how we can be individual, I believe, and have seen in my own practice, we can then contribute to others lives without a feeling of being drained or asked to change. One of the concepts I ask my clients, and practice myself is knowing who self is. If you know who you are, the tendency to look at others is less and the comparison thing, while it may show up on occasion, is less likely to stick. So ask yourself these few questions so you can see where you stand in holding your own IT, Individual topography. Where do you begin and end without relation to others.

• Do you find yourself comparing to others?  If you do, what is it about?  What is the literal subject matter?
• Do you recognize your own unique offering to this universe? It doesn't have to be something huge, it is YOU, and simply because you are here that is amazing.  Can you see that?
• Can you accept that you may have a few IT's but hey, they are cute in their itness and unique in their own way and comparing to others isn't going to help with them but rather add to the challenge of balancing them?
• If others are doing well, do you have a hard time with that and ask, where is mine?

If any of these are challenging for you, simply take the time to breathe and ask how can I get back my own IT?  How can I revel in the fact that I am wonderful, unique and a pleasure for this universe to have?

Another concept I have asked my clients to consider using when they are having challenges with comparing or if they have someone in their lives that does the comparing for them. I ask the client to meet the person for the first time,each time they meet them. 

I had an epiphany one day that part of the reason that a sibling and I had challenges was because of the comparison thing. I felt good in whom I was becoming but they had an issue with me being in my own space and while they wouldn’t cognitively create an issue, energetically and emotionally there was one there. While on the way to a family function I was asking myself how could I go into the day and enjoy everyone and not feel like I was being sucked dry by the energy of neediness. I love my family and they are a FUN group so I wanted a fun day of connecting without old issues getting in the way, issues that I completely take responsibility in fostering over the years. So, I asked a few times on the way over of myself, how can you change how you interact because you can’t change another person, only self. I realized that if I went in and met my sibling with the energy of new acquaintance and who are you today and what are you offering, not only would I be in the now but I would also be erasing old stuff, or so I felt. 

So, I did that. I met her with an energy of less baggage and true interest in who she was as a person. I had a FABULOUS day because as I started to practice this I noticed she didn’t want anything to do with me and kept avoiding me. Now, I didn’t have a good day because of that because I truly do enjoy her, I had a great day because whatever I was feeling would work, DID! I recognized that even if she wasn’t cognitively aware, her own intuition told her something was up and the old story was not going to work any longer. I kept my boundaries about myself but I also started to extend this to others that were there. Now, I have seven siblings and they all have families so that is a lot of people to practice on in a day. I loved it. I met all for who they brought that day and laughed more than I ever remember laughing at a get together, and that says something because we are a good humored family.

I also learned that day how I had been contributing to how others treated me, mostly because I had been comparing. I wasn’t aware of my own Individual Topography, where did I fit in the universe and how was I contributing to its beauty. The conclusion of the day fascinated me even more. As I was giving my sister a hug goodbye she asked me what I did differently, she couldn’t get to me. Now, I truly know she didn’t know what she said as I felt it was a confirmation from spirit that I was on to something here, so I hugged her and gave her a kiss (we are huggers too) and said you were you and I adore you for that. I drove home saying “that was fascinating” over and over and over again.

I have continued to use this day after day with people whether I am meeting them for the first time or have known them for years. It feels like it drops the energy of conflict before I get there so there is nothing for them to grab hold of and react to. It keeps things harmonious and it allows for them to have their own Individual Topography that I can admire from afar but not take away from. I recommend people try this with those they may be experiencing conflicts with. If that is difficult, try it with the person checking your groceries or bag at the airport. Not only does it allow you to meet all kinds of fascinating people, it will light you up in ways you didn’t even know were available because you won’t be allowing the dimness of the past to interfere with wonderful relationships.

So, take some time right now and see where is your topography? Where does your map end and others begin? Is there space in there for all to grow and expand and work the land? If not, take some steps back and do a survey of where you would like to be living with your IT’s and how you can create space for others and their IT’s without comparing and without feeling effected. It is possible and I know you can do it.

Each of us has the ability to create our own map, be our explorers and discover new lands within ourselves. Let's get to it, shall we? 

Exploring hill and dale, 
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Fear itself is not the issue, it is quite natural. Allowing fear to be the prevailing energy is where people get stuck. Vicki

The month of January has been both eventful and predictable in my life. It is moving incredibly fast and has had more growth and learning opportunities than I think I had all of last year, and last year was a doozie. That is to say in a less spiritual language, it has stunk big time. I can take change, I love it in fact, and I can accept that others may not like my path or where I intend to grow, that is their right, but the combination of the two right up in my face and combined with the energy of get er done of this year and it makes for a very tired and sometimes cranky Vicki. Then let's add to the mix, just for fun, the lack of boundaries in the spirit world lately and it makes me wonder if the world really did end and I popped to some parallel universe or something. The predictable part is that there is always something to do and something that wants to shift and grow.

I don't know if you have noticed the shift in vibration but we went from a kind of plodding along and heavy energy to a high vibrational frequency with very little groundedness to it. I LOVE it but my physical self keeps saying, can we take a nap, pleaaaseeeeeeeeee, with a kind of whiny voice. I would love to listen to her and I may this weekend but for now, it is full steam ahead because the energy self seems to be in charge today. Are you able to hear the discord messages within yourself? Are there any? Maybe you are in a great spot of go with the flow and all of you is going along. Congratulations, ride that wave! If not, be sure to listen to all sides before making a decision. I could take half an hour and do a power nap but I don't really think it is a physical need as much as it is a body used to being in the old energy.

This month is all about transitioning the energy from the old kind of stuck energy to the new, what do you want and can I get it for you now, energy. Of course, there is always a choice about embracing the energy or denying it. Either way, it will be clear if what is in your life is not in alignment with what your soul has planned for you. Number one, you will feel awful and number two the reminders will just keep a coming! So what can you do to help yourself? Well, you can be willing to ask yourself does how I am living light me up or put out my fire? Does it feel like I want to keep moving or does it feel in discord with who I want to be? Am I willing to allow others to live their own lives and take the energy I was putting into their drama into my own?

The part that makes us most afraid to grow is that we will grow away from others but that is the very idea of coming into this plane in the first place, to be able to reach that level of individuality as a soul AND THEN connect with others and contribute. We cute little humans tend to have it backwards, totally enmesh ourselves with others and try to find an identity in that. Not going to work. As I say when doing the white light energy, everyone in their own bubble! That individuality is what leads to us being such a fantastic whole.

So, how can you help yourself move through this energy and find your own individuality? You can start by asking, what am I afraid of? Is that fear real or am I creating a reason to stay mired in my own fears? Hint: a real fear is one where there is emminant danger to self and your fight or flight kicks in all the rest are based in our imagination. Never ignore the feeling, but be willing to look at your part of it. I had a client say to me last week when I said well, how much are you willing to take responsibility for, she replied she would take one hundred percent responsibility of her fifty percent in the relationship. I loved it because it was perfect. We can only take responsibility for our portion, but in order to do that we have to be willing to look at it. Are you?

Once  you do, you will feel relief because that energy is there whether you want to look at it or not. Better to get it out and have it be effective rather than destructive. Plus, this energy is going to help so why not take advantage of that?

Give yourself the gift in the last few days of this month, along with the full moon energy, to shine light on what isn't working and be willing to shift it a little at a time.

Viewing life with a bit more clarity,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com
vicki@vickibaird.com