It occurred to me today that I have truly become part of a community. I love the Berkshires and have been comfortable here since we moved to the area eighteen years ago. It is only recently though, that I have allowed myself to form strong connections with more people. I grew up in a small town and in hindsight, had a great time there, but it always felt too small and I can still hyperventilate at the idea that someone will say "Vicki? You are one of the Badore girls aren't you?" I think I have always liked a little anonymity and that doesn't come in a small town with a family of eight kids! :)

When I moved to Massachusetts, I believe I wanted to protect that anonymity and although I have great friends from when I first moved to the area, I kept my circle small. I didn't want to live in what felt like a fishbowl any longer.

Fast forward a few years and I hung my shingle out as an intuitive. Yeah, the irony didn't get past me either. Being known for what I do didn't phase me. It made sense. Being known as Vicki was still a little uncomfortable as I didn't know who I was. I believe it was becoming so comfortable with myself that I was no longer concerned if anyone knew everything about me. I still completely value my private time, but I am an open book otherwise.

The reason it occurred to me that community is a great thing is I attended a service for a friend today. There isn't a superlative in the English language to describe the love I felt in that place. There were over three hundred people there and we came an hour into the calling hours so imagine adding the ones that had paid their respects and left!

I realized as I waited in line that he and his family had touched all these people so much we came out in droves, wrapping around the building down the block, to be in that energy one more time. Let's be honest, services are not for the ones that have passed, they are for the ones in the physical body perhaps as a reassurance that we are still here and also to remember the soul who touched our lives. Dave and his family know how to do community. You could poll anyone in that place and they would have a very specific experience with them. A connective experience. A conscious, very present experience.

It wasn't the number of people who showed up. That's not what made the impression on me. It was the knowing that each person there had felt, heard or seen at some point in their life because this amazing family helps you feel that way. I want to be like them when I grow up. I want to contribute to a world community like that. It isn't about how many people come to your service, it is about the time you took with each person over your life to help them feel like they matter.

I haven't processed all that has impacted me being a part of Dave's journey, but I have had some of these nuggets show up as teachers along the way. I asked Dave before he crossed that when he has the energy space, after visiting all his close friends and loved ones, and writing a manual on how to live and how to cross (because he freaking rocked both!), if he would help me to appreciate life and to live with a bit more compassion that seemed to be a natural part of his being.

Each blog I do has some sort of call to action in it. Today, in honor of the stubborn Irishman, I am going to ask you to be present. To listen to whomever you are visiting with and to take the time to look around and ask if you are creating community wherever you go. I know we are all teachers and students at the same time. It is time for us to learn this and then teach as we go by being living examples of compassion.

Hope to see you in the neighborhood,

Vicki

"Inch by inch, row by row, I'm gonna make this garden growAll it takes is a rake and a hoe and a piece of fertile groundInch by inch, row by row, someone bless these seeds I sowSomeone warm them from below 'til the rain comes tumbling down." David Mallett

Remember these lyrics most known from Peter, Paul and Mary? Inch by inch, row by row? It has a great message doesn't it? Let's take it inch by inch and see what happens. Something is bound to grow from that isn't it? Something is going to spring up, maybe where we least expect it, but something will create a row. 

As I write this another song comes on the radio that is about growing. The Rose sung by Bette Midler. It seems the universe is conspiring to get us to remember seasons and the beauty in the steps of change. A rose doesn't start out as a wonderfully aromatic, appealing to the eye flower. It starts as a seed, perhaps carried by the wind to it's new location or perhaps planted there by a kind hand. Either way it is one that is in darkness for quite a while before it reaches the light and is seen by others. It doesn't give up under the dirt because no one is patting it on the back or validating that it is worth being here. It goes about its process of growth and stretching toward that sun and knowing that the rain is really what will nurture it into the gorgeous being it was meant to be.

Why do you think plants and nature are so patient, resilient and accepting of change and people aren't? Have we forgotten that there really is a plan, one that we put in place long before we were a plan in our parents lives? Have we lost trust in the expansion of ourselves and the pure magic of being here in this realm?

I wonder these kind of things all the time. I wonder why we can't just be in the place of admiration of others and this amazing planet we belong to. Why do we gravitate to the negative and fear place? I know a lot of that is taught and we are good learners, but what if there was a way to change that way of thinking and being and be more like nature where things are not so much questioned but adored?

 Have you ever seen a cat lying in the sunshine? The pure joy that is there to be experienced by even those watching is a miracle in itself but are you stopping to witness these miracles? Are you allowing yourself to be part of the amazing process that is life or are you being carried by whatever wind is blowing in this moment? Do you look at rain as a bad thing and something here to personally piss you off or something that is a blessing, one that is nurturing the rose that is not questioning it's journey, but rather experiencing it?

I know change happens a little at a time. I am quite fond of the expression baby steps make lasting difference. Just like you learned to be in fear, you can learn to be in trust of yourself and this amazing journey you are on. Sure it takes practice but so did learning to walk and you did that!

Take today and look to the beauty in the world. Allow your viewfinder to locate the wonder of how this whole life thing works. Take a little of that personal power back and decide how you want to feel. Embrace the wind but for goodness sake, don't let yourself be a passive passenger on this thing called life. It is too precious to waste on complaining. As we learned in the last post, you can either embrace the fertilizer of life or you can sit in your own stuff. Personally, stinky energies are not attractive to me so I'll be planting things big time this week. Care to join me? You can do it inch by inch, row by row, working at your own speed, but do something that moves you toward the harvest you would like to see in your life. I'm sure your garden is there waiting for you to be a part of it. Will you?

Blissfully impressed with this life process,
Vicki

"It takes courage to imagine your life different." Lindsay TF

This is one of my favorite quotes because it really does take that courage to look and see that things could be different for you. It also takes bravery, a sense of adventure and a just a little bit of silly to start making those changes that you would like to see. It is also one of my favorites because I actually know the person who said it! It isn't just a random collection of words from someone afar, it is someone I have had the pleasure of seeing grow and use that courage on many occasions. 

I am seeing a lot of people lately who are digging deep into their own fears and moving forward in whatever form they would like to see their lives unfold. This is really exciting to me as a person, soul and coach. As a person it helps me to remember to look at challenges as a fun thing, as a soul it makes me happy to be part of this time in our universe and as a coach it excites me for it means we are growing as a people and I get to be a part of that! Sweet!

I said to a client yesterday that what if the feeling she was feeling wasn't doom and gloom, but rather a feeling that she was about to bloom? Using a plant as an example, they have to push through the dirt and the layers of Earth to show up and reach the sunshine. I bet that is uncomfortable at some point but the plant, knowing that stagnation is certain death, isn't going to just lay there and lament, it is going to keep reaching for that breakthrough. Nature is amazing isn't it? We are amazing aren't we? I believe so. 

So, the next time you feel like you can't do something, remind yourself that you have the same innate knowing as the plant or you wouldn't have come here to learn and grow. You would have remained an inert being simply floating around the stratosphere. I, for one, am glad you decided to push through that dirt and show up and we got to be in this garden together!

"If you are trying to find balance in one plate while spinning twenty others, eventually, they will all fall and that will be ok, because then you will truly be able to access the situation at hand." vicki

I heard myself say this to a client last week and thought, well that is pretty good, now do you think you can listen to it Vicki? I have always been someone that does well with a lot going on around me, or so I thought. Once I realized the chaos was causing stress and a feeling of being that proverbial hamster, I knew I had to do something to change how I saw my life. Just because I was busy didn't mean that I was productive or happy about what I was doing and that is what I really wanted, to be happy being busy and being still.

I also realized that the busyness was really a procrastination method of not getting to know myself. If I kept going and putting out fires and making sure everyone else was ok I didn't have to admit I wasn't completely satisfied with myself or my life. Sound familiar?

Now having done this coaching thing for a while now, I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere this way except to more stress and an eventual end of my rope where I hoped there was a knot but a sneaking suspicion, call it intuition if you want, knew there wasn't one. So, I had a meeting with myself and asked just what the heck are you afraid of learning anyway? Once faced I had no real answer, which became my answer. I was afraid of nothing, of there being a nothing, of there being nothing to do, to take care of, that needed my attention or my help. This was where the whole balance conversation came into play. I had to become good with the nothing in order to have something. In order to have that peace I was looking for and that happiness and the space to create the life I really want. I understand energy and know that creating the life I wanted meant there had to be space in the one I had to allow other opportunities to happen.

So, that is what I did, nothing. I did nothing for a whole weekend. A WHOLE WEEKEND! Anyone who knows me well knows this was not easy to accomplish and it wasn't. I chose to use the yin yang symbol as my return point. It represents balance to me so each time my thinking head said "Vicki, there is always laundry to do, blogs to write, classes to create and oh yeah, what about that software you bought to revolutionize your coaching, you could be learning that", my knowing self or soul self or the smarter part of me said, what was your intention? What did you want to create? aahhhh space, aaaaa balance, aaaaaah yin yang.

This is when the picture of the guy trying to balance all the plates came to my minds eye as well and I had a good laugh because if you have all those plates, you do not have focus on any of them. It is not possible. I don't want to be a plate spinner, I want to be a plate connector. I want to know that plate is in my life and that whatever time I had with that plate (you get that the plate is experiences in my life right?) I was present and I was able to connect and enjoy the process without worrying about the potential crashing of another plate next to me.

Now you don't have to drop out of your life and do nothing, although I highly recommend it, but where does your life want to be balanced? Are you even in your life or are you reacting to the current fire and not able to enjoy your experience here on Earth?

What is one thing you could do to bring balance to your day? How about right now you take a deep breath in through your nose, out your mouth with a little sigh at the end. Go ahead, no one is looking. Didn't that feel good? When we breathe like this it aligns the mind, body and spirit, creating balance. Pretty cool, huh? Now in the space that created, what is your spirit asking of you? Do one thing today that will help fill that request and then thank yourself for being a plate connector. :)

The spring Equinox is March 20th for those of us in the northern hemisphere, a perfect time to reflect on balance and to create the support for that balance so you may completely enjoy your spring and summer season.

Happily in a balanced state today,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com
info@vickibaird.com
www.vbairdconnections.com