These last two weeks have been a doozie, haven't they? I don't know about you, but I have felt like every lesson I have learned in my forty-six years is right there up in my face. They seem like that person at a cocktail party that doesn't know personal space and won't back up no matter how clear you are you don't like it.

I like seeing my stuff. Oh, I don't always like the subject but I appreciate being able to realize I've got stuff and it could use some work. By stuff I mean emotions, experiences and awarenesses that I either didn't want to look at in the past or that I crammed down in denial; probably with gluten free pretzels and hot tamales. Carbs are my go to stuffer, can you tell? Being willing to see my stuff, understand it and learn from it means less carbs in my future. I sincerely hope this.

I had an experience this week that helped me see how much stuffing I have done my whole life. Now, I was well aware I am a stuffer, I come from a long line of stuffers. What I wasn't aware of was how tiring that is and how it keeps us in the soup. I was lamenting about a pattern I saw in my life and how I was, quite frankly, done with it. In working with Belief Re-patterning these last few years, I feel I have become really adept at spotting a pattern and then wanting to release it. A bit like solving a puzzle. There is excitement about the process and satisfaction when it is complete. I have done this a lot over the years and know it to be a great experience, after I accept that I had been contributing to the pattern. Of course I have contributed; it's MY pattern!

So, the one that was most evident was not allowing myself to feel hurt. The level of pain I can feel intuitively is so great that I had learned to smoosh (technical term) anything that felt even close to that so I didn't have to go through it. Well, that sneaky husband, who was and continues to be a great teacher for me, goes and croaks and there is no way to hold back the hurt now. It's there like a horrible pimple on prom night. Front and center demanding attention.

The amazing part of all of this learning these last few weeks is although I miss him like crazy, the hurt wasn't specifically about Howard. It was about all the other times I felt hurt and I swept it under the carpet. I bucked up and powered on. Yeah....that's not possible anymore. The combination of incredible curiosity in how I'm wired, the desire to feel good in the time I have on this planet and the push I feel to help others discover the joy in understanding themselves has converged into a "look, here is a pattern and we can shift it and appreciate who we are in the process" way of living. I'm grateful for it. It totally stinks in the moment, but the more practice I have at looking at my stuff and being willing to accept that my stuff is not the identification of me, the lighter I feel and the more I can allow in the other feelings of joy, love, humor, empathy, acceptance and the list goes on.

So, are you a stuffer? Is that stuff you've been carting around so heavy that you can't even imagine life without it? Do you plaster a smile on your face and pretend something doesn't hurt? Cover it with sarcasm or worse, lashing out at others because your own crap is too much to deal with? Do you reach for pretzels too? Congratulations, you are human and may have learned from others around you to stuff. You are also capable of deciding if that is the way you want to live any longer. You can make a choice to look at your stuffing, see it as a teacher and address what is coming up. This works as such a great release mechanism that immediately, the body feels relief and the emotions calm.

Now, there may be times where I have to park my emotions and carry on with my day or the event I am attending but as a commitment to myself, I have promised me that when there is space, I will revisit the feelings with compassion and help myself to learn that expressing what we are feeling is a gift we can give to us on a daily basis.

Let's leave the stuffing for the holidays and pillows shall we?  Ironically, I can't stand the taste of stuffing. Hmmmm, think my subconscious was trying to help me all these years?  I do love pillows.

Take some time this week and look at what might be under the layers that you have stuffed there, in the back of your emotional closet and decide to take it out. You don't have to wear it out in the open so everyone can see. You can talk with your therapist, coach, smart friend or your guides and angels, but do talk. Let it out so the stuffing pattern gets released and honesty can be present. You will be most grateful to yourself that you did. I know you can do it. You are brave like that.

Using stuffing for pillows only,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

So, most of you are aware I receive a lot of my information in pictures and metaphors. Very often these metaphors are directly related to the person I am speaking to. We all identify with different messages and comparisons to previous experiences. It delights me when I have a reference that I haven't heard before that applies to many more than the person I am speaking to at the moment.

I was having a conversation with a friend and while we were chatting I kept seeing this fanny pack around her waist with little toy people in it. I asked her if she would be willing to take of her family pack. My head heard fanny pack, but my mouth said family pack. It does make sense as we often carry around with us our family and friends. In her case they were so portable she was wearing them as an accessory.

After we had a good chuckle about it she admitted that it was often hard for her to let go of the old roles that everyone has been playing for so many years. Some of them were no longer even in the roles that had been identified from the beginning. She no longer needed her parents permission to be wonderful, to be successful, to even be a good mother herself. Practice had her still feeling like she was in those rolls when they were no longer applicable.

I suggested that she reach around that cute little fanny pack and unhook the buckle that was there and see how that felt. Sometimes making changes is difficult and you want to take them step-by-step rather then all in one fell swoop. It was still a challenge for her to wrap her head around the fact that she could do whatever she wanted. This is a highly successful woman who has reached a high levels of professional success so she was quite aware on some level that she was capable of shifting the thought but  had a difficult time doing it. 

This was a perfect scenario for using the Belief Re-patterning that I have trained in. Often our heads get caught in old patterns so much that they have a difficult time shifting we have to help them along. It's no different than driving a five speed and wanting to use everyone of those levels. Shouldn't we want to use every level of the self that we have?

I am excited to help her shift to a space where her cognitive life lines up with her energetic self and creates a positive path for her in the future. We will meet and we will do some re-patterning around this and in a short time a wardrobe change so that she no longer carries around the family pack.

Do you have a fanny pack? Do you have a family pack? Keeping in mind family is not always those that are related, they can be co-workers, society or friends.  Do you have stickers on your fanny pack? What is inside your fanny pack if you look in there? We all have one, at some point though it's important to recognize that it doesn't go with every outfit that we have. Take the opportunity to assess what you have in your fanny pack. If they are tools and they are positive, supporting skills, then leave them there. If it is anything that is not helping you to be the best you, take it off and feel how light you can feel without it.

I have a literal fanny pack. It's the treat bag that I use when training Tank. I'm not saying it's the most attractive thing in the world, but it serves a wonderful purpose. It reinforces behavior for him that is helping him to be a well mannered ambassador of his species. Each time he responds in a positive manner or he does a command without even being asked to do it, he gets rewarded. These are not big rewards they are little tidbits that say to him you matter, you're doing a fantastic job, more of that will get you more of the good stuff. He's very proud of himself when he completes the task as you have asked.

All I'm saying here is get yourself a supportive family pack if you're going to wear one. Have some treats in it, some supplies, and if you going to wear it a lot, make it your own and please bedazzle that thing and rock it!

Checking out all the styling fanny packs out there,

Vicki