If you are reading this, I can say for sure you have had a relationship with others. Whether that relationship is with a partner, a sibling or your banker, it is a relationship and requires all parties' participation.

Relationships are a huge part of why people come in to see me. They can be confusing, can't they? I know I have been baffled by some of the ones in my lifetime at times. I have found most often the most challenging issue is when we try to figure out what the other is thinking, feeling, wanting or perceiving. Why do we do that? Don't we have enough in living our own path without venturing into speculation land? I've been known to suggest someone get a hobby when they spend too much time participating in the act of other person wondering.

Sure, we are connected to others but the time we spend speculating is a vast waste of time because we can't ever really know for sure what is in their minds and hearts unless they know and want to communicate. Here is the really tough part; if they don't want to or don't feel able to communicate it, we best serve the relationship by not taking it personally.  Yeah, I told you it was the tough part!  Respecting what another person wants.  What an advanced concept. I believe we can all do this.

It takes a bit of training of the emotional self to remember to honor that space that is the relationship itself between us and another. That space has a life force of its own. Think about a few people in your life. Now think how different each relationship is. Amazing isn't it, how you are one person but have all these different dynamics in connecting with others?

Have you ever done that? Taken time to look at the space and interactions between you and another? It really is in the best interest of our happiness to do so. That is the participation part I was talking about. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our souls and the others to take the time to consider how we are in this world.

Perhaps you could do that this week. Be in observation of one, how you are in each relationship you have and two, spend some time considering not only the other person but the space between you that becomes the relationship and the life it has there.

You may find that when you do this, you realize that you have grown and want something different in that space. You may realize that you are the one that brings the conflict by spending too much time trying to figure another out and want to change them to suit you.  Hint: this never works. Knock it off.

Regardless of what you observe, if you are honest, there will be a feeling of amazement of what you've learned. Please take this moment and appreciate how much you rock because you were willing to invest yourself. Sometimes the relationship has run its course and is no longer serving either one of you. This is where knowing that it is more than the people involved, can help to let those we don't jive with, go. Release the relationship; respect the person/animal/company while you do so.

As we move into Spring in the northern hemisphere and a time of growth; perhaps this could be the garden you plant this year. 

Happy relationships!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Today's blog is short and sweet!  As many of you may know, I had LASIK surgery recently and I am being mindful not to over use my eyes so quickly after the procedure.  

Today's daily affirmation from my Hay House calendar "reminded" me how important it is to respect and protect our bodies.  I am taking this time to allow my body to heal.  What does your body need?  What is it telling you?  Are you listening?  If not, why not?  I enjoy helping others explore just such questions!

Here is to "seeing" you soon!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One of the characteristics I most respect in someone is their ability to show grace in life. Whether it is grace under fire in a one time situation or the way they carry themselves, it is an admirable quality. Grace is a controlled, pleasant and polite way of being. It seems to be less and less encouraged lately and I am going to bring the movement, if there ever was a movement, back.

I truly believe that if we each would strive to act with grace, there would be less conflict and a much more enjoyable life for everyone. It does take courage to act in this manner but what is life without a little bit of challenge? To me this is the next step after learning to shift from reacting to responding. Being in a state of reaction not only increases negative energy, it creates discourse in the body. It also shows others that we are unreasonable and therefor difficult to be around. We've all had that family member or co-worker who was so reactive avoidance seems like the only recourse, or so it seems.

What if, instead of avoiding, we found that place of grace within and showed how good being in control of ones emotions and temper feels like? I am not suggesting that we become robots, I am suggesting that we realize that throwing energy around and being so affronted by everything and everyone is really a personal issue. It is about you not liking you and wanting to distract with theatrics. As simple and difficult as that. What if you realized the point of any anger is a dissatisfaction with your course of life or choices within such life? Then what if you realized you could change it by adapting some grace in your daily experience?

I had a client, when I suggested this approach, ask me if I had never been hurt to the point that I wanted to lash out. Of course I have and I have even lashed out, but where did it get me? More hurt because I knew that wasn't how I wanted to be. I remember the actions of those that haven't always had my best interest at heart, but my holding anger isn't going to hurt or help them. I told her that I could find grace in the situation and with the person without being a push over. I don't have amnesia, I have choice. I have the ability to choose how I want to live and that is with peace that I did my best in every situation.

Grace is being able to see that others have their own issues and not pointing it out or instigating more problems. Grace is being willing to allow others to be who they are and not who you want them to be. Grace is understanding there is an eternal process to all of us and when one is challenged, it is temporary and therefore an opportunity to grow and rock this lifetime of acceptance.

Grace is not putting up with abusive behavior but it is being willing to walk away from the person who is acting as such.

Do you want to join my movement? It will not only be fun, it will be peaceful and we could all use a little peace don't you think? Well, then be the one bringing it instead of just posting about it on social media. Act on your ability to bring grace to the world. I thank you in advance.

Gracefully, unless we are talking dancing, yours,

Vicki