"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." Denis Waitley
This quote showed up on my desk today and while I love words, rarely does a quote stand out so much that I feel compelled to share it. Some of you may be familiar with the is quote but I was not, yet it sums up my beliefs in one short sentence....either accept what is going on or do something about it.
It may come as a surprise to some but I have very little patience for those that want to stay in their story and repeat patterns over and over again. I have HUGE compassion for their process and the angst that can be created, but patience, yeah, that I could use some help with cultivating. It is in fact, one of the aspects that I find least attractive about me. I'm ok with the fact that it is there but I am also encouraged to shift it so as not to be known as the coach who uses a line like Dr. Phil, "how's that working for you?" too often. I love that line but I do feel there is a middle ground of approach that can be more beneficial and loving.
This last year has taught me the amazing power of patience as well as self observation. I have had more a ha moments in the last three months than in YEARS of knowing me. To tell the truth, I could use a break but I'm nosey so I have no doubt I will keep watching for those times when a raise in my own vibration would not only help me, but the situation I am in.
Have you noticed that this year has been very much a "here's your stuff, right in your face, do you see it? good, are you going to acknowledge it or do I have to get louder" year? Not exactly something to put on a calendar and be inspirational but true nonetheless. So, if the energy is helping us to see our stuff, I think it is our responsibility to do something about it.
Now, this stuff could be good stuff too. Maybe you have learned a new skill, developed some self esteem or boundaries. Perhaps you have decided to make changes in your life you have been thinking about for a long time but didn't implement. Stuff can be neutral, neither good or bad but simply stuff. How we look at it determines whether it is what we want to hang on to or let go and after we look at it whether we get busy or not determines whether we are ready to accept responsibility.
Responsibility in my opinion is not blame. It is simply the act of saying, well yes, I did have something to do with that as it showed up in my life and now that I acknowledge it, I can shift it if necessary.
In my book I talk about how to watch our lives like a movie to get perspective because let's be honest, if you keep the emotion in it, the ability to see your part may be a little tricky. So, try this the next time there is a situation in your life that seems to be gathering some drama speed, step back, watch the scene unfold and then respond, do not react to what is going on. Take responsibility for your emotions as well as your actions first and then decide if you even want to engage. Walking away is a perfect response sometimes. In walking away you take a responsible action to not further whatever wasn't going well and help to diffuse any tension.
Then you can decide if there is any action to take.
So, where in your life are you not taking responsibility? Where are you waiting for someone else to fix things, or for something to blow over, or for it to change on its own like little fairies are going to come in and say a magic spell and poof everything will be good? (ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but I KNOW you know people who are living passive like that. Are you one of them?)
Once you have identified that one place, make one small step to move forward. Is it your finances? Contact someone who can help. Is it your relationship? Perhaps seek counseling for both of you or for yourself first. Is it your closet? Well, then take fifteen minutes and hang those clothes up. You can do anything for fifteen minutes. I promise you.
Once you have taken a step and accept that movement is what you want take your right hand and reach over your left shoulder and pat yourself on the back. Acknowledgement is fantastic too!
If you aren't willing to accept responsibility then I have one question for you? Insert Dr.Phil's voice "how's that working for you?". If you need help in seeing or accepting, I am here with all the compassion in the world, just don't expect to be allowed to sit in your story for that isn't a loving way to interact and I am so sure you have the ability to grow that I won't join you in your story but I'll be here if you want to write a whole new chapter and include some fantastic acceptance and responsibility to it. It's fun, I promise you.
While this year was in your face year, next year is lining up to be about, what do you want to do with your new found you....soooooo...you might want to get looking for you.
I wish you well on the journey,
Vicki
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