Have you ever woken up....

...and just blurted out something brilliant. Then you hope to heck you remember it so you can check into it after taking care of morning business? I know, I know, have a notebook at your bedside. I do and have suggested that as a great tool, but the epiphanies at that hour are few and far between and I don't like clutter. Luckily, the awareness I had stuck and I'm glad it did because I think it will help me and hopefully, you too.

It may not be a new concept to some and it's not even a brand new concept to me but when something clicks, it is worth celebrating.

What I heard myself say when I woke up was "OHHHHH, it's not the situation I am in that makes me sad. It is the fact that I miss him." In this case it was regarding Howard, my husband who passed a year ago this week. See, it gets all mixed up doesn't it when we are in the middle of something. We group together all of the components and then it's more challenging to move out of the sad, depressed, anxious, pick your feeling, space because it's so convoluted we can't see our way out because it all must be connected, right?

It isn't the fact that I am single now or that the household and pets within it depend solely on me. It is not the fact that I have to financially float the whole boat or that when something needs fixing; and it's a one hundred and sixty year old house, something always needs fixing, that is on me too. The sadness I have been feeling is directly related to missing his company and physical self.

Of course I have realized that I miss him. What I didn't realize is it can be a separate experience from all of the rest of the details that come with adjusting a life path.

I think as humans we like to bundle things. Who doesn't like a deal, right? What I wonder though is, is all this bundling worth it?  How often have you heard someone say it's going to be a terrible day because they spilled their coffee or they didn't get enough sleep last night. That an event is going to be terrible because so and so is coming and they always ruin it. Or my personal favorite, this experience, divorce, surgery, a person/pet passing, trip across the country, etc is going to stink because it did for me. Really? Because you couldn't see the situation separate from yourself I have to suffer? No thank you.

It's true, when I go home he isn't there physically. That stinks big time but that isn't going to change either so I have a choice in how I live my life. I can remain in the place where it is all sad because I miss him, or I can arrive in the place where the rest is pretty darn cool and sometimes I miss him. I believe I will go with the latter.

You have that choice too. Yes, you may be going through a difficult time, but you aren't the experience unless you want to make it a Lifetime movie. Sure, there is pain in life and someone may have done something that you then created a hurt around, but who is that serving to carry it as part of how life has to be? Certainly not you.

We experience pain and sadness and laughter and joy and all the emotions in between. We can respect those feelings and learn to let go of a reason to drag the lower vibrational ones forward like some kind of badge of courage. This is the gift of time for us. We are no longer in the moment that the pain may have been created but we pull it behind us and sometimes in front like a well worn blankie we don't want to give up.

What if you reminded yourself of the date and the fact that you are no longer in that moment or experience and yes, you can feel the emotions around it but stop the story of suffering because of that moment. It has passed. Move on yourself. It takes some practice and your brain may want to go back to bundling in order to keep you trapped in the poor me's. Your life is more than your brain. Bring in your heart and soul and remind that cute brain that one or two experiences does not a life define. If it wants to stay stuck, call me, that is the perfect situation for Belief Re-patterning.

Of course we are going to miss those who have passed and yes, remember the past, what I am suggesting is we choose to no longer live there and recreate it each day. So, if you are willing, pick whatever situation you lament about often, and be honest, we all have some, and decide if you want to drag that dirty blanket around any longer or if you want to release it and be grateful to yourself for doing so.

Grateful for morning messages,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com