So what does happen if there is no knot at the end of your rope? What if when you get there it is slippery, your hands (or paws) won't hang on and you find yourself falling, falling, falling?

Have you experienced this? I bet you have. I bet we all have because life is full of moments that are potentially freaking scary and falling, falling, falling, is scary...until you realize that wait a minute, I always bounce. I always get up, find my way, claw back up to the top of the rope where hopefully there is a platform to stand and catch my breathe and maybe contemplate what the heck just happened and how can we NOT do THAT again?

Many times it isn't the circumstance that is happening but rather how you handle it that determines how well you live and how bounceable you really are.

This week I met with a client who, while knowing life had been extremely tumultuous for her, didn't realize her super power was resiliency. When I pointed this out to her, she was surprised but I could see the belief in herself showing up for perhaps the first time in this life. She has achieved many things in this life but hadn't realized she had that bounce factor and how amazing that really is for a calm, centered life.

If I've learned anything over the last eighteen months, it is to not get too caught up in whatever the experience or emotion is as it will probably bounce along as well if I keep centered. Centered may come after a pretty good crying session or a temper tantrum, in house, or after a good nap. It may come during a good workout or a chat with a friend. In whatever form it takes, it shows up because I have acknowledged that it is my knot. It is the superpower that helps me be in this world and be of service in this wonderful universe we have. No, it's not always easy, but who the heck promised life would be? I didn't see that line in the soul contract. How boring would that be anyway?

Learning to be bounceable (admit it, you just had a vision of a me bouncing) also known as trusting is where I learned I had a knot that I just couldn't see. I have also learned that all the other smaller trials and diversions helped me trust that whatever the outcome of an experience, I will be ok. I will be able to move forward and look for the next side road that shows up. Sure, it has been incredibly scary and tear producing but even that helped me to accept that sometimes things are just hard and that's ok. That knot will always be moving and may be invisible at other times but the knowing that I have it will be the strength that helps me hang on to that rope or cliff or side of the building. Ooooh, zip line. I want to do a zip line! Sorry, got distracted by the fun that life has to offer too.

So trust in ourselves and the universe eventually leads us to the knowing that whatever road we were on, we will eventually find our direction again and our endurance.

• What is your rope? 
• Is it your faith? 
• Your belief in the universe? 
• Your commitment to working out? 
• Your track record of thriving through some tough times or are  you just developing it now and could use some help in tying your knot.

Ask yourself how have you made it through and eventually learned from past experiences? Also think of when you have seen others hold it together, or not, but move through trying experiences and advance themselves both emotionally and spiritually. What did they do that may inspire you to try?

However you find the knot, create a reminder that you have it. Place a sticker on your odometer, a reminder on your phone, a bracelet or something that says, hey, you have created a safe spot, why don't you use it? You do have your own knot of superpower. I know it. If you can't find it, come see me. I will introduce you.

Knot kidding....you rock,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One of the fascinating human processes that happens when something ends in our lives is we do a retrospective. A review of the movie so to speak. It doesn't seem to matter if this is a job that ended, a move out of a neighborhood or a relationship end through break up or a passing. I know it is a way to practice the life review we will go through after we pass. The benefit of the review when we cross is there is not ego, or self critic, involved as it remains with the physical body. Isn't that refreshing? Something to strive for here, wouldn't you say?

I happen to be someone that likes to look under layers and see what is there and why it may be impacting me today. I see it as an adventure even when I am covering my eyes and looking through the fingers at whatever it is I want to explore. Sometimes it takes bravery to look within and I want to help everyone discover that bravery and looky look look look at all that makes them amazing. It is in those layers. Sure, some of it we want to fling out the window and we can, but some of it is so stinking wonderful and most of us just don't see it within ourselves, until another points it out.

In retrospect, I have become incredibly grateful to the relationship I had with my husband. I had, and expressed gratitude to him when he was here, but after his passing, and without putting him on any pedestal, I realized we really did have a great marriage. We had some really hard experiences in our time together, I believe it's called life, yet what I have come to appreciate is that we both really respected each other and worked diligently to keep that respect alive by being the best we could be individually. I know I had some moments where I wasn't being my best and so did he, but we handled it with this other thing we cultivated in our marriage; friendship.

It takes time to develop a true friendship. I know you can click on my name and request I be your friend but that isn't true friendship. We've become a drive- thru society where people expect to have a certain steps met in a dictated time frame and know for sure what they want in life and in relationships. What I have come to realize over the last eighteen months especially, is that I wouldn't trade all of those trying times in our marriage if it meant I was to rush through and not be with my friend all of those years because we didn't take the time to get to know each other and commit to not only being lovers, partners in business, and parents, but truly good buddies too.

I will admit it is a double whammy when I want to tell my friend who was also my husband something that happens and he isn't here physically to hear it, but the awareness that we did a damn good job even with the pressures of life; that is a comfort.

One of the other things I have realized is that in being such good friends in life, I knew how to begin being a friend to myself after Howard passed. I wasn't always the best friend to me when he was here because he filled that role so well. He got my sense of humor. He would tell me when someone was taking advantage of my kindness and I didn't see it.  He knew my fears and while he really stunk, until about six months before he passed, at being able to just give me a hug when I cried, he gave the best hugs ever! He also fiercely believed I could do anything. ANYTHING! He told the nurses I was going to get him home from the hospital, even though they said he probably wouldn't survive the ride, because I loved him. Of course I did, loved him and got him home. He was my best friend. A friend, whom to this day, I take care of myself because I made him that promise and friends don't break promises like that.

It is without a doubt that because we were two individual people, with different interests but a common desire to do the best we could with what we had at the time, that he completed his journey and I am learning how to be that friend for myself. I know his ability to love me so deeply has helped me to love myself now.

The reason I share all of this is it occurred to me that some may not know that this level of caring is available to them. I have also really come to realize that not all have experienced the connection I know to be possible, albeit necessary to do the work, in this lifetime.  I know I wouldn't have known it without a partner who was determined to show me I was worthy of love and I was willing to show him the same. We all are worthy and deserving of that. Everyone. All of us. Especially you.

I know the statement you can never love another until you love yourself is said a lot and I don't actually believe that. I could not have learned to love myself without Howard being the mirror to reflect that love. While I stand firm in the knowing we can cultivate that love within ourselves, and attract it into our lives, I do believe an example is sometimes needed. There are no perfect relationships but if our twenty seven years can stand as that example for someone, I am honored for both of us.

I am here to tell you on this February love holiday, Howard's birthday of course, what did you think I was going to say? So, anyway, on this holiday I am here to tell you to be persistent, be committed to excellence in relationships, first with yourself and then others, be truthful to yourself and don't settle for good enough.

If you are brave enough to come into this Earth experience, you are brave enough to look within and know what you want from all of the relationships in your life. You are brave enough to be retrospective of what you have settled for in the past and perhaps be grateful yourself for what you see there as well. I know we aren't the only ones who were able to love another so much we ended up loving ourselves in the process. Look around. There are examples. Be willing to do the work required too. Loving oneself isn't for sissies. It is hard work sometimes, but the peace that comes from the soul when you do is absolutely tangible.

I wish for you the love that lights you up inside. A love for life, for self, for others, for sunshine, for puppies, for art, for the Earth and for whatever makes your world amazing. I wish for you a love that has not only hindsight, but foresight to help create it to be more than you could possibly imagine. I wish for you the knowledge that you deserve to experience it in your life and sure, you may have to trust a little and you may have to be brave, but you can do that. I know you can. I've seen the love in you and reflect it back.

Many blessings,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I have heard from so many people asking how do they handle the energy and circumstances of life lately. I have waited and thought about whether to respond in a public way and then decided that I have to or I would be doing a disservice since so many are asking.

 I am asking. I have asked myself what the heck is going on on an almost daily basis. It normally takes A LOT for me to be upset, cranky or mad but these last couple of weeks I have felt like I needed to be the groundhog and go back under to protect those around me from what could be a fascinating spew of words. Perhaps you have felt this way too.

No doubt we are being asked to practice the skills we have in place and to develop even more of them. Mostly patience, tolerance and love, I believe. While I can not say to the whole reason we have conflict or challenges in our lives, I do know for a fact they are there as a way to help us rise up and see what we care capable of. Not everyone is going to take that challenge as one of growth. They may react rather than respond. They may lash out and accuse and they may show a side of themselves you have never seen before. Maybe you are that person. Maybe you are seeing aspects of yourself you haven't realized were there. Maybe you don't like it. Fantastic! We can only change when we realize there is something there to be changed!

I am not only referring to the political landscape, because I will NOT get into that, but the energy of the universe and the request that we, as humans, need to keep growing and asking more of ourselves. That is the process of the soul and there is no getting around it. Each being is sending out a signal of growth and while they may not like it, or want to respond to it, it happens. It makes people downright miserable sometimes.

What I can suggest in this experience is to remind yourself that you are not responsible for how someone else acts, behaves or speaks. You are responsible for you and how you are in the world. The world is going to change. It is not always going to be of your liking. It is not the worlds job to make sure you are ok with it. It just isn't. Get over that if that is your thinking.

 Our response to the world and the actions of it's people IS up to us. Holding any kind of fear, hate, resentment or accusatory energy will effect the world sure, but it will completely effect your life first. When we hold this energy it not only changes the cells within our body, it emanates and then creates more conflict in the world. We all get mad. I think that is great. Emotions matter. What we do with the emotions may matter even more because it then becomes the example of who we are.

How many times have you lashed out in anger or in hurt and then thought about it after and realized that is NOT who you are but how you were feeling at the time? If you do it a lot; you need to look within and get clear on why this is who you want to be and if there is anything you can do about it.

I have a theory that people who are lashing out are doing so because they are mad about who they are inside. Remember, each person is the only one who really knows what is going on inside and can speak with authority on themselves. So often unresolved issues are just below the surface ready to come out but we are afraid to look at it or ask ourselves what the heck we are doing. Then when someone cuts us off in traffic, disagrees with who we like or what we believe, the match is lit and the powder keg goes off. It is so much easier to point the finger out and not realize there are three pointing back at oneself. So much easier to say, they are wrong, or dumb or misinformed than to say, wait a minute; maybe that is my sh*t.

There are going to be issues in life. There are going to be problems and disappointments. There are going to be arguments and there are going to be people you don't like. That is fine. That is life. How you respond to these circumstances are a good indication of how peaceful you feel on the inside. The problems aren't the issue. The way they get addressed are.

Feel passionate about your life. Feel what is in alignment and what isn't. Feel how you would like your life to be and who you would like in it. But for goodness sake, do not think for a moment that it is miserable because of someone else's doing. If it is miserable, realize that and do something to change it. Once you get that, and really get it, then step forward and create change. Then use your voice to communicate how life could be different. Then educate.

So many people are yelling at the top of their lungs lately that they can't even hear the voice within. I get being ticked off. I understand frustration and anger. I do not understand being mean to another and I certainly do not understand how when we all have a soul and heart we can't be accepting of
ourselves and others.

Yes, the energy is freaking nuts right now. Yes, people are not happy with their lives (please see above on what to do about that) and yes, it is still winter in many places (I'd like to point out that it IS February. Of course it's winter!) but external circumstances only effect your life if you let them. Get clear on what you are really upset about and then address that. I promise you, when you do that, the ups and down in energy will be something you realize is there, but not something that takes you out of enjoying the beautiful life we are blessed to have on this planet.

I heard a quote today on a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Jordan Metzi. He said "if you aren't actively building it; you are losing it." While he was talking about supportive muscle fibers, I heard it as a more internal process of if we aren't practicing self care, kindness, love or acceptance, we are going to lose it. I believe in our ability to create a world where these muscles get flexed on a regular basis. I believe in our hearts and souls and I believe in you.

Be the change you wish to see in the world is not only a quote often used in the spiritual world; it is a credo we can all aspire to.

Be that change, please.

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com