People are amazing. The expressions of caring I have received over the last four months has been beyond my comprehension at times. I am truly blessed by the relationships I have cultivated even when I wasn't aware I was doing it.

Someone, well-meaning I am sure, said to me "It must be so hard to go through this and be upright every day."  Maybe my matter of fact energy was working overtime that day or I was simply tired of the sympathetic responses, but I came back with "No, not really. This is life and life is different now, but that is part of the discovery, isn't it?"

I appreciated her concern but if you've ever gone through an experience where people have to process their own emotions, i.e. someone passing, job loss, diagnosis, house on fire, dog died, etc., you know how tiring it can be to process that over and over again with the people in your life. Sympathy, to me, always comes from someone working through their stuff and usually has an "oh, that's so sad, heartbreaking, troubling, etc.", whereas empathy comes from "Hey, I've been there, I understand and I support your process."

This is life people. Change happens; every day. Get used to it and stop taking it so personally. See the adventure in it and what you could discover about yourself and how you handle change. That is a good indication of where your emotional health is. Go to sympathy or anger with news and you may have a lot of self-work to do, also called discovery.  If you are able to be in empathy and realize whatever is going on isn't happening to you but you can help and support if you want to, good for you.

If it is happening to you, pay attention to how you walk through the experience. All emotions are valid but we have a choice of how long we remain in each.

This part of my life is hard, it is very freaking hard, but being reminded it MUST be hard does not help. My choice is to recognize it is, and to honor those feelings, then move on because....this is life. Perhaps I have said that before.

Guess what else is changing? The year. We are heading into 2016 where as I have stated before, it is a time to fly. Whatever flight means to you, at whatever height, and whatever speed. Let's stop comparing ourselves to others this year as well. Wouldn't that be refreshing?  Wouldn't it be nice to be you in whatever form that is and appreciate yourself for it? If there is one thing I have learned emphatically this year it is that there is no time for the pretending to be other than who I am. I choose to be me and see how high I can fly.

Care to join me?

Up, up and away,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

You know you've had a busy December when several people ask you, "are you going to do your energy report for next year soon?"  Ooops, I forgot that I have even done them every year! Roller coaster anyone?

Well, if 2015 has seemed like one to you, you are not alone.  As I wrote last year, this was going to be the year of in your face. Items avoided were going to pop up their lovely head, issues pushed away were going to rear up and bite you in the other end and relationships that were not serving were going to make an exit stage left.  And did they? In your life if you did not pay attention, did these things happen?  Perhaps they weren't dramatic in their happening but I bet you were aware just the same.

When a friend asked me how I would summarize this year's energy I laughed and said, "WTF?”. I know I felt that way for most of it. I knew all of the experiences were an opportunity but wholly moly, enough of the growing already. Expansion really does hurt sometimes. Not only did the dude complete his contract but many people I considered loved ones and friends exited that stage left and while I now sit in a place of gratitude for the universe helping them leave; it all was a bit much. Grieving a spouse and friend is enough while trying to stay upright. People who professed to care and then showed their true selves, was quite another. I know, I know, I could have read my own blog from last year and known this was going to happen but I have that annoying trait that believes people are actually going to act with heart. I'm learning, I'm learning. (For the record, I am learning to allow people to show me who they really are. I am not going to change the fact I believe we can come from a heart space, because that I know to be true!)

I hope 2015 helped you learn that taking care of things as they reveal themselves is a lot less work then waiting until they pile up. Sort of like the dishes. If you use just one plate, wash it. It feels good to have it done and won't accumulate resentment as you add the glass, bowl and pan to the pile. It also creates a habit of being present and aware of your surroundings. Try it, it really is quite fun after a while.  Anywho, 2015 was the mama bird pushing us out of the nest.  2016 is where we get to fly if we trust our own wings.

Twenty sixteen is the first phase of SHOW YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF! It's not an official series of years, yet, but that is what I am calling it until it catches on. Every year has its own vibration and as I stated last year, we have been putting in the time and effort to arrive in a place where we can shine and feel great about that. So many of us were taught to dim the light, don't make waves, make everyone happy and all the other well meaning, although energetically discordant, messages. They don't resonate with ourselves and it is time to realize when we believe in self, that energy can multiply and inspire others to believe in themselves. The ripple effect is magnificent. Even the smallest stone can create a ripple.

The behaviors of judgement, hatred, racism, sexism or any other separatism is fading. Sure, we will always have those young souls that are scared by people knowing themselves because they don't know who they are inside, but energy is universal and when it starts to shift, whether someone wants to go or not, they are taken with it. We have a choice of where we float our boat of course, but I promise you, no one is exempt from feeling the waves of spiritual energy that is life force and within all of us.

This is especially true of those who have crossed.  How about a high five for the help they give us from the other side as they do their growing without their human ego?  I am appreciative as it lends to us the pure love we are all striving to learn.  So, even when you miss them, give an expression of gratitude for their continued help, would you?

So, if you were going to trust that you can fly out of that 2015 nest and fly in the energy of 2016, what could you do now that would support that feeling?  Perhaps you could start by realizing that your first flight does not have to be from the top of a great Sequoia tree, maybe a sapling in the front yard is a good start. But go on, what is one thing you would like to change or improve and what is the first step you can take in order to do that?  If this stumps you, reach out and ask for help.  Seek council, ask a friend, go within, come see me, ask your angels, something that helps you identify the subject and then one small flight plan to create movement.

Shining bright is our soul right. Turning on that light is our human responsibility. Turn on your bright self and take flight to wherever it is your heart and soul are leading you. Please do this for yourself and for the universe we share. Let's create a movement of believing in self so much that when someone does something we don't agree with, we observe it but not take it personally. I believe that when one knows themselves and trusts who they are, what others do is their business and lessens the need to compete.

Hey, there is such things as lightning bugs....maybe we can all be lightning birds. Taking flight with our light!

I'll be looking for your light to shine as a beacon!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...what if we gave the holiday heartache perception a break? A holiday for the holiday's so to speak. What if for this year, and if it catches on, we can extend it to the following years, the whole, "the holidays are so tough to go through" verbiage goes away?

For obvious reasons, people are extending their well wishes to me and my family this holiday season and almost without fail the intro is "the holiday's must be tough...". Well, maybe I am insensitive or I am splitting hairs but no, the holidays aren't tough to go through. The holidays are the one predictable event someone who has experienced a change in their life, such as someone croaking, can depend on. The days are specific, even set up on the calendar way in advance, some even falling on the same day each year. How wonderful is that? If you choose to be in sorrow those days, well, it's already figured out for you. You can plan to be sad, lonely or cranky on those days. Premeditated pouting.

If you are like me, you can also plan to honor those days and perhaps be in silence, go for a long walk or be with those that make your heart sing. You can wake up with the intention of being grateful for the times and holidays you have spent with the loved one previous to this year. You can be assured that the holiday will pass and the day after the holiday will come along and you made it through and life can return to normal.

Except, what is normal? Sure the days of the week fall in a great pattern and are predictable as well, but for me, I have not found a pattern to when my head will remember Howard isn't coming in the door after having coffee with a friend. A pattern to when I am grocery shopping and it hits me I don't have to buy Arizona Green Tea anymore. Sometimes I can make it through a whole shopping trip and not even consider it and sometimes, whoa, right there in the beverage aisle, very deep breathing to get through the rest of the trip where I purchase drinks for myself only while sucking back the tears until I get to the car. Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't.

My point is this life process is unpredictable enough without setting ourselves up for tougher times. What if we said, wow, the holidays are a fantastic time to reflect on the silly, fun, fattening, and heartfelt times we've spent together? What if we returned to the true feeling of the holidays of helping others and putting down our electronic devices and connecting with each other, nature or selves if that is your preference?

What if we realized that the "stuff" we are buying isn't filling us up and realize what our hearts and souls are yearning for is to be seen, heard, participatory and in awe of the time and people we are so fortunate to know. Ourselves included. What if we gave ourselves the gift of appreciating this time of year and the fact that we have time to spend?  Not to be maudlin, but I'd love more time with Howard as I am sure you would love more time with those who have crossed in your life.  We can't have that in the physical, but we can learn from it.

What if for this year, and if it catches on, we can extend it, we stop wasting time on tired old phrases and assuming things have to be hard and start appreciating who is in our lives and make the connections that matter to the heart. What if you give yourself and others that gift this year and see if it isn't the perfect size after all?

One of the messages I have heard repeatedly over the years from those who have crossed is that the "Stuff" is of no concern to them. They love spending time with us. I believe they have it correct and I intend to listen. Do you?

If you see me in the store and I am doing my deep breathing exercise, please know, there are so many moments of sheer joy that take my breath away too when I remember those who have crossed and no matter the emotion, I am grateful to have it for it means I too, loved and am loved.

Celebrating every day as its own holiday,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com