People
are amazing. The expressions of caring I have received over the last four
months has been beyond my comprehension at times. I am truly blessed by the
relationships I have cultivated even when I wasn't aware I was doing it.
Someone,
well-meaning I am sure, said to me "It must be so hard to go through this
and be upright every day." Maybe my matter of fact energy was
working overtime that day or I was simply tired of the sympathetic responses,
but I came back with "No, not really. This is life and life is different
now, but that is part of the discovery, isn't it?"
I
appreciated her concern but if you've ever gone through an experience where
people have to process their own emotions, i.e. someone passing, job loss,
diagnosis, house on fire, dog died, etc., you know how tiring it can be to
process that over and over again with the people in your life. Sympathy, to me,
always comes from someone working through their stuff and usually has an
"oh, that's so sad, heartbreaking, troubling, etc.", whereas empathy
comes from "Hey, I've been there, I understand and I support your
process."
This
is life people. Change happens; every day. Get used to it and stop taking it so
personally. See the adventure in it and what you could discover about yourself
and how you handle change. That is a good indication of where your emotional
health is. Go to sympathy or anger with news and you may have a lot of self-work
to do, also called discovery. If you are able to be in empathy and
realize whatever is going on isn't happening to you but you can help and
support if you want to, good for you.
If
it is happening to you, pay attention to how you walk through the experience.
All emotions are valid but we have a choice of how long we remain in each.
This part
of my life is hard, it is very freaking hard, but being reminded it MUST be
hard does not help. My choice is to recognize it is, and to honor those
feelings, then move on because....this is life. Perhaps I have said that
before.
Guess
what else is changing? The year. We are heading into 2016 where as I have
stated before, it is a time to fly. Whatever flight means to you, at whatever
height, and whatever speed. Let's stop comparing ourselves to others this year
as well. Wouldn't that be refreshing? Wouldn't it be nice to be you in
whatever form that is and appreciate yourself for it? If there is one thing I
have learned emphatically this year it is that there is no time for the
pretending to be other than who I am. I choose to be me and see how high I can
fly.
Care
to join me?
Up,
up and away,
Vicki
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