Two weeks ago I did something that scared me a little bit, ok, a whole lot. I took a certification class to teach indoor cycling. I love the premise of indoor cycling; a good workout on a piece of equipment that mimics my road bike and where I don't have to watch for dogs, kids or be grill art for a driver who isn't paying attention.

It scared me, not because of the physical challenge, but more because this is not an area I have ventured into before. Sure, I've taken classes and I've observed other instructors but I haven't had to guide someone while they are peddling their little hearts out. However, I have a rule; if it scares me a little; I have to consider doing it. I don't mean I have to go hand to hand combat with a mugger scared, but the kind of scared that I know I am going to feel really good for having attempted it in the first place. I know this feeling because I have tested this theory on many occassions. One when I decided to get married at a young age, two when I took on the responsibility of a family, three when I quit my well paying, secure job to start my own company and fourth when I called a personal trainer for the first time three years ago because I wasn't sure whose health was worse; mine or my husband who had already been diagnosed with the arteries of an eighty year old.

There have been so many other times where that holy sh*t, this is scary have come up of course, but in true New Englander fashion, I would suck it up and just move through it. The difference now is I don't ignore those feelings anymore. I give them a voice and acknowledge that yes, I could live in fear of trying things or I could have that really great feeling of accomplishment and self love for having agreed to raise my hand to life and join in. You can probably tell I go with the latter these days.

One of the statements the amazing guy certifying us, Javier Santin, said that got my attention was that a workout didn't have to be HARD to be beneficial. He used the example of a teacher screaming "Ride harder, work harder, hard, hard, hard!" Then said "what the heck is hard? What is hard for me may not be hard for you and vise versa." I loved this, not only because I have said it soooooo many times to people when they say they couldn't work out/live/see life/etc. the way I do, but because it is so true. Comparison shopping on what is hard will only paralyze us into taking no action because we are too scared someone will notice we don't "measure up".

 I'm asking you... who the hell cares? Who cares what another person in doing in relation to what you are doing? Who cares if the person went 22 miles and you did two? YOU DID TWO! That is fantastic. Who cares what they have accomplished by this time in their life and you don't have the same. WHO CARES? I think it is time we all looked inside and asked if we care about ourselves and use that as the inspiration to find what lights us up. It takes courage to ask ourselves what matters to us because we have been so trained to compare.

I went into this training with a critic in my head saying "you aren't a trainer. You will be the fat kid in class again. You think you can ride, but you really can't" "Who is going to take a class where the emphasize is fun and acknowledging that they showed up?" That voice was in there, but you know what? It got to say what it wanted and then it went away. I was willing to look at the statements and even though they were hard to look at and hear; I accepted they were there and then shifted them with my breathing and Belief Re-patterning.

In doing this I realized that hard is a great acronym and we all know how much I love my acronyms. So, what if we saw anything that is hard as an opportunity to Have A Real Discussion? What if when something seems challenging and you say "but it's too hard", you actually are willing to have a real discussion with your whole self and determine if it truly is hard or are you listening to the voice inside that is encouraging you to give up before you even attempt anything?

So what do you say we do a little bit of group Belief Re-patterning here. Say each statement out loud and then take a breath in through your nose and out your mouth. Be willing to hear any of the Gremlins in there if they want to talk. All of you matters and once voiced, usually they will feel heard and calm their little buns down. If not; you know where to find me.

• "I forgive myself for believing that life is meant to be hard."
• "I give myself permission to release this lesson I have been taught and learn to increase ease in my life."
• "I can choose to see anything new as hard or I can choose to see it as an exciting opportunity to learn. I choose to see it as an opportunity to learn."
• "I am free to use supportive language when communicating with myself." 
• " I remember when I thought _____________ was hard, but with a little practice, I learned how to enjoy the process." (For me; I remember when I thought doing group events were hard, but with a little practice I learned how to really love them. I now incorporate indoor cycling to those group events!")
• "I am learning to be at ease with the process of life."

Don't you feel amazing now? Did you remember to breathe after each one. It really makes a difference.

So, as I do most weeks, I encourage you to watch yourself as you go through this week and when you hear the excuse of something is hard, stop and breathe, find the ease in it and move forward!

I so appreciate each of you being on this ride with me and am excited to see what we discover next!

Easing on down the road, (You are welcome for the ear worm!)
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

People are amazing. The expressions of caring I have received over the last four months has been beyond my comprehension at times. I am truly blessed by the relationships I have cultivated even when I wasn't aware I was doing it.

Someone, well-meaning I am sure, said to me "It must be so hard to go through this and be upright every day."  Maybe my matter of fact energy was working overtime that day or I was simply tired of the sympathetic responses, but I came back with "No, not really. This is life and life is different now, but that is part of the discovery, isn't it?"

I appreciated her concern but if you've ever gone through an experience where people have to process their own emotions, i.e. someone passing, job loss, diagnosis, house on fire, dog died, etc., you know how tiring it can be to process that over and over again with the people in your life. Sympathy, to me, always comes from someone working through their stuff and usually has an "oh, that's so sad, heartbreaking, troubling, etc.", whereas empathy comes from "Hey, I've been there, I understand and I support your process."

This is life people. Change happens; every day. Get used to it and stop taking it so personally. See the adventure in it and what you could discover about yourself and how you handle change. That is a good indication of where your emotional health is. Go to sympathy or anger with news and you may have a lot of self-work to do, also called discovery.  If you are able to be in empathy and realize whatever is going on isn't happening to you but you can help and support if you want to, good for you.

If it is happening to you, pay attention to how you walk through the experience. All emotions are valid but we have a choice of how long we remain in each.

This part of my life is hard, it is very freaking hard, but being reminded it MUST be hard does not help. My choice is to recognize it is, and to honor those feelings, then move on because....this is life. Perhaps I have said that before.

Guess what else is changing? The year. We are heading into 2016 where as I have stated before, it is a time to fly. Whatever flight means to you, at whatever height, and whatever speed. Let's stop comparing ourselves to others this year as well. Wouldn't that be refreshing?  Wouldn't it be nice to be you in whatever form that is and appreciate yourself for it? If there is one thing I have learned emphatically this year it is that there is no time for the pretending to be other than who I am. I choose to be me and see how high I can fly.

Care to join me?

Up, up and away,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com