We, as humans, were given the gift of the expression of emotion. We have a variety of expressions to choose from too. Some of us have short fuses while others have what seems like unending patience. Each persons experience is as different as they are. It amazes me when I see people who are so in touch with their feeling that they can articulate exactly what they are feeling. Sometimes it amazes me that some of those same people don't have an edit button, but I am still always impressed with their ability.
We have all these beautiful feelings and yet we tend to lean toward negating them. We have all had the experience where we ask how someone is and they say fine yet we know they aren't. It may be very clear they are not fine but they feel they have to suck it up and pretend all is well. I agree that there are times where communicating exactly what you are feeling may not be in the best manners but what about those times where it is quite safe to do so and we still suck it up?
I wasn't always comfortable with emotions because in my family we didn't talk about anything, at least nothing of substance. There was anger expressed, frustration and humor, we are a pretty funny family if I do say so myself. Feelings themselves weren't though and that is pretty evident by the sheer number of people in our family with thyroid issues. I decided a few years ago that I was going to clear up my own thyroid and to do this I had to learn to express myself. Goodness. Give me a stage and I am very eloquent, have a client need to express, cry, scream, laugh, and I am good, ask me how I'm feeling and you were likely to get a fine as well. Challenge me to ask for what I would like and I would deflect with that humor I learned.
Through my process though I have come to really appreciate this amazing barometer we are wired with. Why would we have emotions if we weren't supposed to use them? I asked someone the other day when we were discussing her tendency to diminish her emotions if rather than diminishing them, she could learn to use them.
It made sense to my head that we could negate or navigate. We could continue to deny that we felt a certain way or we could learn to listen and use them as the north star to indicate where we really are. I know our head will tell us stories but our emotions tend to be right on. Just ask a two year old when they don't want to do something. They aren't being particularly defiant because they don't really know what that is yet, but they are following their disappointment and expressing their desire for a different outcome. What if you listened to your feeling of less than and asked yourself what you could do for you now? One of my besties, Laurie Magoon, always says "how can I support you with this?" Can you imagine being on the receiving end of this statement? If you know Laurie, you have been but really, how great is that? (Thank you Laurie if I haven't expressed that enough. This is gratitude I am expressing!)
What if you said that to yourself when you were feeling discord, how can I support me right now? This could be a gps of sorts for you to navigate emotions. First, allowing yourself to feel them, then asking how you could be of support and then doing whatever your brilliant self comes up with. I would suggest it be of your highest interest so while that pint of ice cream may support the craving for sugar, it isn't helping emotions to be productive, it is just adding to another trip around the block on your walk! Perhaps start with the walk! See, you are getting good at this already.
One of the benefits of the Belief Re-patterning sessions that I offer is it can help you connect with those feelings and become comfortable in having them, in a safe place, and learning what to do with them!
For this week, give yourself the gift of honoring the emotions as they come up. They are telling you something, be willing to listen. Be nice to you during this process. Much like learning how to ride a bike, this is going to take a bit of balancing if you haven't been listening previously. Be patient and be aware others may not know what to do with your emotions and that is fine. It is still very valid to have them. Their emotions are theirs to deal with. Perhaps they haven't been doing that either. We will all arrive in that caring feeling space eventually, it is part of the soul journey.
Off to express myself,
Vicki
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