Hey! How are you? How have you been? Good, I hope! Where have I been? Well, I've been here working, playing, healing and rebooting. 

Have you ever felt like you were hitting the pause button and even though you would love to be moving forward, there was just no pushing the energy or the events of life? That is where I have been. I have taken some time to minimize anything that wouldn't effect the service of my clients and allow life to flow. While the last couple of months haven't been all that tumultuous, the two years before it were and I realized my commitment to feel my way through life needed just a bit of a time out. I had to absorb all that was going on and honestly, I needed a break from anything new happening. 

As it usual in my world, when I decide to take a breather, life got busy. Allow me to catch you up. If you have followed my blog for a bit, you have heard me refer to my goofy guy Tank. The best representative of love the bully breeds have for humans. In April I had to make the decision to allow Tank to be with Howard again as the seizure disorder he had was taking all joy out of his life and I could not ask him to stay for me. Animals have their own journey and we as their people need to honor that and allow them to be released if we are in that position. What the experience did was bring up all the other passings I had experienced over the last two years and I said tilt, uncle, I give, Lord help me and all the other statements and prayers I knew. I may understand the process of life and life on the other side, but mama mia, I had hit my limit. 

Life does indeed move forward, so from there I began working on the new website. Check it out! https://www.vickibaird.com  It has been a great process of identifying how I want to work with people and what that looks like in webform. It will be undergoing some other changes, including online classes, podcasting and back to the regular blog form as well as items under development! Yes, I am still doing readings. (That question always gets asked so I thought I would address it here first!)

The coaching aspect of my business is taking off to new levels and I am thrilled. More and more people are committing to themselves and allowing me to journey with them as they discover the path that is aligned with them. We travel through learned behavior, programming picked up on the trip and patterns that may be creating some glitches in the works of life. We also explore the gifts, abilities and talents they have within but my not be able to see for themselves. We also set some amazing intentions and meet them with action! 

I will be offering more Belief Re-patterning events so you can learn to do it yourself and achieve a strong coach voice yourself. Stay tuned!

I have also begun a regular column in Our Berkshire Times magazine. I am thrilled with this opportunity. While I will submit articles of other subjects from time to time, the primary article is called Ask Vicki. People are able to ask questions and I will address them within the article. How fun is that? Check out the first issue featuring Ask Vicki. http://www.ourberkshiretimes.com/717-flipbook.html

If you want to read previous articles, feel free to check out the issues prior to this one. Click here. 

In addition to the above, I've been traveling on a monthly basis to the Wakefield area, this month the last week of July, where I see current and new clients who would like the Vicki in person experience in addition to the Virtual Vicki! If you are located in that area, or would like me to travel to your area, please feel free to ask! 

And did you know that I teach Indoor Cycling at Soules Sports and Fitness three times a week? I do! We have so much fun. I blend the Stages training with my coaching training and throw in years of voice lessons when I encourage belting it out while we pedal! One of the ways I processed the last few months, besides with my own Life Coach (A coach who doesn't have a coach is not expanding themselves and probably not an asset to you.), was to train for a half marathon. As you can tell, I lived through it! I actually enjoyed blending my approach to life lately of floating through to the race and while it was work, it was a blast too! A great metaphor for life, don't you think? 

So, now that we are up to speed, I thank you for hanging in there with me and allowing for the space that in life is necessary to expand and grow into our true essences. I am excited about life and what it holds for exploring and learning moving forward with you. 

All my best!

Vicki

Lately I've had this conundrum going on and I'm seeing it in others lives too so it must be a universal lesson happening. It could also be that whole like attracts like phenomenon where you see what you are going through everywhere, but whatever it is, it is fascinating.

 The confusion being whether a relationship is in my best interest to still be involved in.

It can be such a challenge to take the time to assess if where you invest your time and energy, not to mention emotions, is worth it. That time though, is such a gift to yourself if you are willing to do it. 

It takes courage for sure. Who wants to release a relationship they've invested themselves in? But, who would want to lose respect for self if they stay is also a good question. 

Sometimes it can be so hard to see the path that is best serving. For all parties involved. I know I have spent way too much time being invested in someone else's energy that I couldn't even see if it's in my best interest to associate with them. I can see it clear as can be for someone else, but my learning as a human and a soul come with their own fun. 

My challenges have come in the friend category as I have learned a lot in the last two years what true friendships consist of. I've often felt I wasn't the best friend to begin with because while I will help, I won't join people in their self made drama. I also don't subscribe to the belief we have to be in each other's pockets to have a good relationship. I enjoy people's company and I adore my quiet time so quite often invitations will be declined because it is so important to me to have that to stay sane and I won't change that to spare someone's, even someone I love, decision to be disappointed. So yeah, I can be a pill, but I'm fun too! 

Have you felt this way lately too? Are there relationships that just aren't cutting the mustard? Is there a family member that even if you share DNA, you just can't be with any longer? a friend you have known for decades? A career that just isn't doing it for you any longer? You have the choice, you know. 

What I've learned this year is there are others who will accept me for me and that is amazing. There are relationships to be nurtured where each party is seen and appreciated.  I don't have to put up with those so self involved they don't even realize I haven't said anything for forty five minutes while they talked about themselves. Seriously, I timed it! 

I actually had someone say to me they wished they could have a conversation with me where I didn't respond! While I found that hysterical because isn't that the definition of a conversation, it was very telling to how I had allowed people in my life who were only there for self. That is on me and if I wanted relationships that are authentic, I have to be brave enough to end the patterns in my current situations. Courage isn't the absence of fear, after all, it is the willingness to move forward even with the fear. 

You do too. If you want to enjoy life and be in relationships where both parties contribute, you have to assess and sometimes let go. Whether it is a job, partner, sibling, friend or organization, it is up to each individual to be aware of the patterns and energy exchanges happening.

• What, if anything, is not working in the relationships around you? 
• If you could clarify one thing you would like to change, in you, in regards to your relationships, what would it be? 
• When will you start changing that? 
• How important is it that you have relationships where you get to be you and are respected for whom you are? 
• What have you been telling yourself about the people in your life that you KNOW are no longer in alignment with who you are? 

These are some of the questions I have asked myself and often ask of my clients when a relationship issue comes up. Even if that relationship is with a pet; it must be addressed for peace to happen. We aren't going to make it through our lives without some challenges with others. Wouldn't it be nice if that challenge wasn't with self? After all, wherever you go, there you are! 

I hope if these issues are showing up for you lately, that you are able to look at your own part, honor all people and act in a way that is compassionate for both. As I've said before, sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do for all parties is to walk away. 

Learning to be a friend to self is powerful. Repeat this often; I am a friend to me. A friend to me, I must be. When we are able to do this, we can be the most amazing friends, lovers, partners, employers, parents, etc in the world and bring respect to all interactions. Give it a go, will you? 

Friendly,learning to be to self first and then others, 

Vicki

Say a word over and over and it starts to sound silly, doesn’t it? For some reason the auditory part of our brain starts to make it sound like a totally different word or one that we can’t connect any context too. It can be a lot of fun. That disconnected feeling to the word when it starts to sound odd is a good example of what it feels like to me when someone is saying a statement that doesn’t agree with their energy.

A simple example of this is how we ask someone how they are and they answer “fine”. We can all surmise whether that feels right or not. Simple empathy will give you that response. Taking it a bit further in energy perception and one could actually feel where the discord is. Maybe the person is tired or may they just don’t want to talk. It’s also quite possible it is an automatic response and the person didn’t even register what you were asking!

What I have developed over the years is a super sensitivity to what people are saying with their energy and not only their words. You could say it is a BS meter as others have, but I prefer to think of it as my radar to be able to help someone connect more truthfully to themselves. We are proficient at lying to ourselves and my ability to catch the discord is what makes me effective in the coaching and Belief Re-patterning professions, I believe.

Lately, I have heard from so many of my clients that they want to have confidence in themselves and their decisions. While I haven’t always pointed out that it felt like they were maybe searching for another feeling, I have asked them to go a little deeper in the description of how they would like to feel. Emotions are powerful and words carry great emotions. Imagine if we combined the two!

You may be thinking it is a no brainer for someone to want to have confidence, but I have another theory.

When a word or phrasing feels out of whack to me, I have to follow it until I figure it out. It can be like that mosquito in your ear on a summer’s evening. Annoying but once paid attention to, easily dealt with. So, I spent some time following the feeling until I got it.

My theory is most people aren’t really asking for confidence, after all, why would you look for something that starts with con?  A pre-fix that actually means of, relating to, or adept at swindling by false promises according to the Webster dictionary. I am questioning the intelligence of pursuing being swindled by ourselves. To what gain? Always being in search of this elusive feeling of con-fidence, whatever it is.

I feel what people are looking for within, and in the world, is faith. Faith in themselves, faith in a loving universe, faith that one day black jellybeans will be available year round, faith in the honesty of others and faith that even with difficult times, we will be fine.

Where does your faith reside? Within you? With a deity? Within the universe?  What level of faith would you say you have? Could it be increased and if so, do you know how to do that?

Having faith in self is the most reliable source as when there is a time when life is challenging, it will be built in and ready to access. Building this faith can take time. It also takes a habit of catching oneself doing great things! When you do something well, give credit and realize this is the building of faith in self. How could you trust yourself unless you realize you are already doing some areas of life really well?

So, what do you say? Ready to give up the con and go with faith? 

I believe in you. Do you?

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

So what does happen if there is no knot at the end of your rope? What if when you get there it is slippery, your hands (or paws) won't hang on and you find yourself falling, falling, falling?

Have you experienced this? I bet you have. I bet we all have because life is full of moments that are potentially freaking scary and falling, falling, falling, is scary...until you realize that wait a minute, I always bounce. I always get up, find my way, claw back up to the top of the rope where hopefully there is a platform to stand and catch my breathe and maybe contemplate what the heck just happened and how can we NOT do THAT again?

Many times it isn't the circumstance that is happening but rather how you handle it that determines how well you live and how bounceable you really are.

This week I met with a client who, while knowing life had been extremely tumultuous for her, didn't realize her super power was resiliency. When I pointed this out to her, she was surprised but I could see the belief in herself showing up for perhaps the first time in this life. She has achieved many things in this life but hadn't realized she had that bounce factor and how amazing that really is for a calm, centered life.

If I've learned anything over the last eighteen months, it is to not get too caught up in whatever the experience or emotion is as it will probably bounce along as well if I keep centered. Centered may come after a pretty good crying session or a temper tantrum, in house, or after a good nap. It may come during a good workout or a chat with a friend. In whatever form it takes, it shows up because I have acknowledged that it is my knot. It is the superpower that helps me be in this world and be of service in this wonderful universe we have. No, it's not always easy, but who the heck promised life would be? I didn't see that line in the soul contract. How boring would that be anyway?

Learning to be bounceable (admit it, you just had a vision of a me bouncing) also known as trusting is where I learned I had a knot that I just couldn't see. I have also learned that all the other smaller trials and diversions helped me trust that whatever the outcome of an experience, I will be ok. I will be able to move forward and look for the next side road that shows up. Sure, it has been incredibly scary and tear producing but even that helped me to accept that sometimes things are just hard and that's ok. That knot will always be moving and may be invisible at other times but the knowing that I have it will be the strength that helps me hang on to that rope or cliff or side of the building. Ooooh, zip line. I want to do a zip line! Sorry, got distracted by the fun that life has to offer too.

So trust in ourselves and the universe eventually leads us to the knowing that whatever road we were on, we will eventually find our direction again and our endurance.

• What is your rope? 
• Is it your faith? 
• Your belief in the universe? 
• Your commitment to working out? 
• Your track record of thriving through some tough times or are  you just developing it now and could use some help in tying your knot.

Ask yourself how have you made it through and eventually learned from past experiences? Also think of when you have seen others hold it together, or not, but move through trying experiences and advance themselves both emotionally and spiritually. What did they do that may inspire you to try?

However you find the knot, create a reminder that you have it. Place a sticker on your odometer, a reminder on your phone, a bracelet or something that says, hey, you have created a safe spot, why don't you use it? You do have your own knot of superpower. I know it. If you can't find it, come see me. I will introduce you.

Knot kidding....you rock,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One of the fascinating human processes that happens when something ends in our lives is we do a retrospective. A review of the movie so to speak. It doesn't seem to matter if this is a job that ended, a move out of a neighborhood or a relationship end through break up or a passing. I know it is a way to practice the life review we will go through after we pass. The benefit of the review when we cross is there is not ego, or self critic, involved as it remains with the physical body. Isn't that refreshing? Something to strive for here, wouldn't you say?

I happen to be someone that likes to look under layers and see what is there and why it may be impacting me today. I see it as an adventure even when I am covering my eyes and looking through the fingers at whatever it is I want to explore. Sometimes it takes bravery to look within and I want to help everyone discover that bravery and looky look look look at all that makes them amazing. It is in those layers. Sure, some of it we want to fling out the window and we can, but some of it is so stinking wonderful and most of us just don't see it within ourselves, until another points it out.

In retrospect, I have become incredibly grateful to the relationship I had with my husband. I had, and expressed gratitude to him when he was here, but after his passing, and without putting him on any pedestal, I realized we really did have a great marriage. We had some really hard experiences in our time together, I believe it's called life, yet what I have come to appreciate is that we both really respected each other and worked diligently to keep that respect alive by being the best we could be individually. I know I had some moments where I wasn't being my best and so did he, but we handled it with this other thing we cultivated in our marriage; friendship.

It takes time to develop a true friendship. I know you can click on my name and request I be your friend but that isn't true friendship. We've become a drive- thru society where people expect to have a certain steps met in a dictated time frame and know for sure what they want in life and in relationships. What I have come to realize over the last eighteen months especially, is that I wouldn't trade all of those trying times in our marriage if it meant I was to rush through and not be with my friend all of those years because we didn't take the time to get to know each other and commit to not only being lovers, partners in business, and parents, but truly good buddies too.

I will admit it is a double whammy when I want to tell my friend who was also my husband something that happens and he isn't here physically to hear it, but the awareness that we did a damn good job even with the pressures of life; that is a comfort.

One of the other things I have realized is that in being such good friends in life, I knew how to begin being a friend to myself after Howard passed. I wasn't always the best friend to me when he was here because he filled that role so well. He got my sense of humor. He would tell me when someone was taking advantage of my kindness and I didn't see it.  He knew my fears and while he really stunk, until about six months before he passed, at being able to just give me a hug when I cried, he gave the best hugs ever! He also fiercely believed I could do anything. ANYTHING! He told the nurses I was going to get him home from the hospital, even though they said he probably wouldn't survive the ride, because I loved him. Of course I did, loved him and got him home. He was my best friend. A friend, whom to this day, I take care of myself because I made him that promise and friends don't break promises like that.

It is without a doubt that because we were two individual people, with different interests but a common desire to do the best we could with what we had at the time, that he completed his journey and I am learning how to be that friend for myself. I know his ability to love me so deeply has helped me to love myself now.

The reason I share all of this is it occurred to me that some may not know that this level of caring is available to them. I have also really come to realize that not all have experienced the connection I know to be possible, albeit necessary to do the work, in this lifetime.  I know I wouldn't have known it without a partner who was determined to show me I was worthy of love and I was willing to show him the same. We all are worthy and deserving of that. Everyone. All of us. Especially you.

I know the statement you can never love another until you love yourself is said a lot and I don't actually believe that. I could not have learned to love myself without Howard being the mirror to reflect that love. While I stand firm in the knowing we can cultivate that love within ourselves, and attract it into our lives, I do believe an example is sometimes needed. There are no perfect relationships but if our twenty seven years can stand as that example for someone, I am honored for both of us.

I am here to tell you on this February love holiday, Howard's birthday of course, what did you think I was going to say? So, anyway, on this holiday I am here to tell you to be persistent, be committed to excellence in relationships, first with yourself and then others, be truthful to yourself and don't settle for good enough.

If you are brave enough to come into this Earth experience, you are brave enough to look within and know what you want from all of the relationships in your life. You are brave enough to be retrospective of what you have settled for in the past and perhaps be grateful yourself for what you see there as well. I know we aren't the only ones who were able to love another so much we ended up loving ourselves in the process. Look around. There are examples. Be willing to do the work required too. Loving oneself isn't for sissies. It is hard work sometimes, but the peace that comes from the soul when you do is absolutely tangible.

I wish for you the love that lights you up inside. A love for life, for self, for others, for sunshine, for puppies, for art, for the Earth and for whatever makes your world amazing. I wish for you a love that has not only hindsight, but foresight to help create it to be more than you could possibly imagine. I wish for you the knowledge that you deserve to experience it in your life and sure, you may have to trust a little and you may have to be brave, but you can do that. I know you can. I've seen the love in you and reflect it back.

Many blessings,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I have heard from so many people asking how do they handle the energy and circumstances of life lately. I have waited and thought about whether to respond in a public way and then decided that I have to or I would be doing a disservice since so many are asking.

 I am asking. I have asked myself what the heck is going on on an almost daily basis. It normally takes A LOT for me to be upset, cranky or mad but these last couple of weeks I have felt like I needed to be the groundhog and go back under to protect those around me from what could be a fascinating spew of words. Perhaps you have felt this way too.

No doubt we are being asked to practice the skills we have in place and to develop even more of them. Mostly patience, tolerance and love, I believe. While I can not say to the whole reason we have conflict or challenges in our lives, I do know for a fact they are there as a way to help us rise up and see what we care capable of. Not everyone is going to take that challenge as one of growth. They may react rather than respond. They may lash out and accuse and they may show a side of themselves you have never seen before. Maybe you are that person. Maybe you are seeing aspects of yourself you haven't realized were there. Maybe you don't like it. Fantastic! We can only change when we realize there is something there to be changed!

I am not only referring to the political landscape, because I will NOT get into that, but the energy of the universe and the request that we, as humans, need to keep growing and asking more of ourselves. That is the process of the soul and there is no getting around it. Each being is sending out a signal of growth and while they may not like it, or want to respond to it, it happens. It makes people downright miserable sometimes.

What I can suggest in this experience is to remind yourself that you are not responsible for how someone else acts, behaves or speaks. You are responsible for you and how you are in the world. The world is going to change. It is not always going to be of your liking. It is not the worlds job to make sure you are ok with it. It just isn't. Get over that if that is your thinking.

 Our response to the world and the actions of it's people IS up to us. Holding any kind of fear, hate, resentment or accusatory energy will effect the world sure, but it will completely effect your life first. When we hold this energy it not only changes the cells within our body, it emanates and then creates more conflict in the world. We all get mad. I think that is great. Emotions matter. What we do with the emotions may matter even more because it then becomes the example of who we are.

How many times have you lashed out in anger or in hurt and then thought about it after and realized that is NOT who you are but how you were feeling at the time? If you do it a lot; you need to look within and get clear on why this is who you want to be and if there is anything you can do about it.

I have a theory that people who are lashing out are doing so because they are mad about who they are inside. Remember, each person is the only one who really knows what is going on inside and can speak with authority on themselves. So often unresolved issues are just below the surface ready to come out but we are afraid to look at it or ask ourselves what the heck we are doing. Then when someone cuts us off in traffic, disagrees with who we like or what we believe, the match is lit and the powder keg goes off. It is so much easier to point the finger out and not realize there are three pointing back at oneself. So much easier to say, they are wrong, or dumb or misinformed than to say, wait a minute; maybe that is my sh*t.

There are going to be issues in life. There are going to be problems and disappointments. There are going to be arguments and there are going to be people you don't like. That is fine. That is life. How you respond to these circumstances are a good indication of how peaceful you feel on the inside. The problems aren't the issue. The way they get addressed are.

Feel passionate about your life. Feel what is in alignment and what isn't. Feel how you would like your life to be and who you would like in it. But for goodness sake, do not think for a moment that it is miserable because of someone else's doing. If it is miserable, realize that and do something to change it. Once you get that, and really get it, then step forward and create change. Then use your voice to communicate how life could be different. Then educate.

So many people are yelling at the top of their lungs lately that they can't even hear the voice within. I get being ticked off. I understand frustration and anger. I do not understand being mean to another and I certainly do not understand how when we all have a soul and heart we can't be accepting of
ourselves and others.

Yes, the energy is freaking nuts right now. Yes, people are not happy with their lives (please see above on what to do about that) and yes, it is still winter in many places (I'd like to point out that it IS February. Of course it's winter!) but external circumstances only effect your life if you let them. Get clear on what you are really upset about and then address that. I promise you, when you do that, the ups and down in energy will be something you realize is there, but not something that takes you out of enjoying the beautiful life we are blessed to have on this planet.

I heard a quote today on a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Jordan Metzi. He said "if you aren't actively building it; you are losing it." While he was talking about supportive muscle fibers, I heard it as a more internal process of if we aren't practicing self care, kindness, love or acceptance, we are going to lose it. I believe in our ability to create a world where these muscles get flexed on a regular basis. I believe in our hearts and souls and I believe in you.

Be the change you wish to see in the world is not only a quote often used in the spiritual world; it is a credo we can all aspire to.

Be that change, please.

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

This isn't a surprise to you, but 2017 is here. It has been here for a few days and so far, so good. The sun even came out in the Berkshire's today! A January gift for sure just when people were getting a little desperate to see something shimmery.

It really shouldn't surprise us that it is grey here from December to March on most days, however, it does when following a particularly challenging 2016. I don't believe in blaming a year for the issues that come up in our lives. I've heard so many people saying good riddance to the year. That is stunk and it took so many things and people from us. No, no it did not. A year does not have that kind of power, but I can understand how it could feel that way.

2016 in numerology was a 9 year. 9 are endings and in my experience often bring out the level of not being able to take this you know what anymore. Everyone faced endings of some sort in their lives this year. Relationships, jobs, hopefully unsupported habits, homes, and yes, even physical lives. This is natural and we can't really have beginnings without endings. Even with all of this, which happens every year by the way, light shines through.

This last year gave us so many opportunities to show our true selves and people really did. A lot of people saw what needed to be done and stepped up. They saw their own light and allowed it to show others. It was definitely an act of courage if you allowed yourself to see a glimmer of who you are and allowed it to peek out a little too. Good for you. Maybe shining bright didn't happen yet; that is ok, because what follows endings? You've got it; beginnings.

2017 is a one year. Beginnings. Did you just take a nice deep breath? Good job! Now, much like a nine year can't be the reason for all the things that happen; a one year can't either.  You have to get involved in the blessing that is your life. Can you go along and just be pulled by the current? Sure, you can absolutely do that, but then you may not complain about anything in my presence. Can you decide to do something about giving this beginning its due? Of course you can. Act. Act on something to increase the enjoyment of your life.

The energy this year feels so full of excitement. Remember that excitement can often present to our systems as anxiety so check in and feel what you are feeling. I know the last three days I have felt like my stomach was going to flip right out of itself. At first I thought it was a return of that stomach bug that I chose to end 2016 with but it isn't. Phew! Thank goodness, it's excitement! For what? Well, whatever is unfolding in front of me. For some the unknown is a fearful thing but once you realize that everything is a form of unknown until it happens so we are always in the place of not knowing for sure, you get good at going with the flow. The practice of learning to trust in that not known is the real gift to oneself to develop. I highly recommend it.

To be in that trust, you would look to what you already know about yourself and the life skills you have. See? You've got this!

So, this year with all it's excitement is generating momentum for whatever you would like to move forward with. Energy does not discriminate. You can excel if you are willing to participate. There will be a great deal of emphasis on deciphering who is supportive in your life and who may need to exit stage left. For some of us, the last year made this abundantly clear but acting on it will carry into this year. The releasing of relationships can be done with respect for all parties. It's called being an adult and mature. Really focus on this if you find yourself clearing up your inner circle.

As we clean up that circle, the people who are most in alignment with our beliefs, goals, heart and intention will naturally be attracted to us. Sure, it may take some time to manifest this community in the physical and yes, you may have to actually leave your house to meet them, but the energy will be there to help you. Use it!

So, given that everything is fluid, take the next few days and think about what you may have seen come to completion last year and what could be a beginning this year. Also, do some inventory of relationships around you and including with yourself decide if there is anything there that could change for the better this year. Then, what is one thing you could do to contribute to the success of that today. It starts now.

Happy beginnings,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com