Bridges are so useful!

I have to be honest, I've never put much thought into bridges. I'm good with heights most of the time, I appreciate that they give us the ability to build up and connect islands but I didn't spend a lot of time contemplating what they mean until the other day.

I was explaining to someone how when we move from one place to another emotionally it can be challenging to make one big jump so if there is a bridge available, take it. Picture yourself at the edge of a ravine. This ravine may be the end of a relationship, the opportunity for new job or a decision to make an investment. To think of jumping the whole ravine at once could give one some significant heart palpitations whereas if there is a bridge available, the next step is not as terrifying.

Much like when you were learning to walk as a toddler, each small step adds up to the momentum that can carry you across the room. I came to realize this in my coaching practice and the Belief Re-patterning really drove it home that it is not necessary to make huge changes. Small and consistent are the key. When I am working with someone who may have a lot of clutter, I always suggest the fifteen minute solution. Get yourself a timer, (Hint: all phones come with them built in, as do stoves!) set it for fifteen minutes and begin the ravine jumping, I mean, clutter clearing. When the timer goes off you are done for that commitment. You may reset the timer and go for fifteen more, that is your choice, but knowing you are complete will help that gremlin that wants to say, "Don't do it unless you can get it all done." "What's the point, it will only get messy again." or my personal favorite "I'm not good at this so why bother." All of these are indications that you WOULD benefit from a fifteen minute rule as after you complete just one; you will feel great and hopefully proud of yourself. I encourage all my coaching clients to then do a happy dance to celebrate after each increment.

The fifteen minutes can be translated into, have that one conversation or apply for the position, go for it!  Do one more sit up than you did last time.  Walk around the property rather than sitting on your tushy all day. Drink one glass of water more or contact that school adviser for information.

You see, it isn't really the jumping the ravine that is the issue, it is not believing in yourself that is. I see so many people paralyzed from the idea of huge change when it so rarely happens that way. Often it is the small incremental changes that lead to what we perceive as big ones. For instance, you feel your relationship is over and it was sudden but it wasn't really if you are willing to be honest and look at the ravine in front of you. It started some time ago, you may not have been able to see it, but it did. Your not believing in yourself didn't start over night either. You came into this world naked with no teeth or way to feed yourself, if that isn't belief in the process, I don't know what is.

So if a bridge can help you to believe in you, wouldn't you utilize it? I would hope so. Look around you this week and see where your bridges are. Do you have a support network of people who truly care, not the ones that love the drama and you in pain, but the ones that will say "how is that working for you?" and help with a solution. The ones that help you see you really are awesome and deserve a happy life. Do you have the ability to see when you are not being a friend to yourself and shift out of that by going for a walk, journaling (to release, not to sit in that sh*t), call a real friend or laugh at how cute you are?  Bridges don't have to be skyscrapers.  Some of the ones I have been most grateful for have been pretty rudimentary at best. The log over a stream so my feet don't get wet when I'm hiking is translated as my willingness to see what could shift and get on it!

This week, be honest with yourself and take one thing you have been making into a huge ravine and look at it differently.  Look at it like you will take one step at a time, not look down, and don't look behind you until you have taken a few action steps to move forward. Remember to high five yourself for being willing and then for actually taking a step. You rock!

My bridge this weekend will be Quickbooks for last year.  Yup, I have been making that one a Grand Canyon.  Aren't I cute?  Yes, I thought so too. :)

Happy bridge building,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com