Have you ever had surgery? I hope not, but if you have, one of the bits of advice they give you is to not chase the pain. There is going to be pain. Don't let it get to the point where it is so high that it takes more time for the meds to work. That interferes with healing process and just seems silly. So, if we have figured this out for when a part of us has to be cut into, why haven't we figured this out for the emotional self. These are the types of things I think about on a daily basis. Don't you want to be in my head for a bit? No? Ok, fine, then I will share here sort of out loud. :)
Being stressed is the emotional equivalent to physical pain. It also leads to physical pain. When we are stressed our body is under incredible pressure. The stress creates a back pressure that builds up and builds up and eventually has to be released. Often this comes out in temper, tears or frustrating outbursts. Those are the healthy expressions. If not released it becomes organ issues, blood pressure problems, and all the diagnosis that include the word dis-ease.
What I have been wondering is why we let it get to that point? Why do we wait until we are going to explode to communicate what we would like and to make some changes? Why do we wait until the pain is so great that we can't even articulate the issue?
There is going to be pain. There is no way around that in this lifetime if you have loved anyone or anything, there is going to be pain. If you have worked your buns off but don't get the promotion, there is going to be pain. If you stub your toe, there is going to be pain. We spend so much time avoiding the conversations that are painful that we eventually end up having them in very ineffective ways that usually include yelling, crying or walking out in temper. The other way we handle it is to cover it up with numbing agents be it drugs, food, prescription meds etc.
Why not treat it proactively as in pain control? You don't have to take a narcotic, you can do deep breathing, you can use oils or any of the other ways to decrease pain. You don't have to numb out to handle pain but it would be great to be able to say, hey, I may have a little pain in this life. I may want to develop the skills to manage that pain so should it show up I am not dealing with the issue, in pain and looking for the skill to shift at the same time while posting to social media.
What if you added a few of these to your tool kit of pain management?
- Increased your communication skills so you can talk about what you are experiencing so you can ask for help if necessary. I am suggesting communication, not getting lost in your story!
- Developed the mechanism to recognize you are building up some steam and it would be a good idea to release it before your whistle goes off.
- Used techniques like breathing, Belief re-patterning, therapy, EFT, tapping or kick boxing.
- Evaluated how you felt so you would know if you were building up or maintaining.
- Were willing to admit you may not know it all, don't want to be it all or carry it all. Courage, it takes courage, but you have it. I know you do.
- Were willing to drop the drama (along with that will go a lot of pressure, trust me) and address whatever is going on from a calm and collected place.
- Were able to ask yourself "is this true or is this something I have embellished to create pain?".
There are as many different ways to handle pain as there are people in this world. We have to be willing to get in front of the issue and decrease the pressure so we can come to solutions that are supportive. I truly believe that someone who hurts another is one who is hurt themselves. It doesn't excuse hurting another, but if we could create an environment where expressing that hurt and being willing to release it was acceptable, more people would depressurize and we wouldn't have so much illness or conflict. How great would that be?
What can you do this week to recognize your own pain level and take steps to alleviate, without creating drama or sitting in it, that pain? What could you do to support your desire to be here and living a life that, while may have an occasional hiccup, is a pretty darn good ride? You have to be willing to do your own work. Don't look for another to do it for you or both will end up hurt and the one willing to see the pain, will be the one walking away.
Be brave and be good to you!
Looking under my own hood,
Vicki
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