How many times a day do you go through a transition of a doorway? We do it automatically and probably don't think too much about it except when it's locked or you have a lot in your hands and have to pee and can't get it to open! Then you are aware of it but other than that, not so much since it is so part of our world.
I was thinking of transitions the other day and how we are all in one, always. Whether we are traveling somewhere, moving within a relationship or shifting our career or spiritual self, we are in transition. Then there is the big transition of when we croak and transition from physical to non-physical and continue our journey in another realm. If you ask me, that is the one that is the most fun but like our births, we rarely remember how much fun it really is.
As I thought of the transitions in my life lately I became aware of how good I felt about the ones that I made consciously. They weren't always easy but they were done from a place of I want a great life and this is going to help me get there. It was then that I heard myself saying, "I choose to go through this doorway rather than being a doormat." To which I followed with, oh damn. I hadn't even realized I was serving as a doormat for others. I saw it as helping and being of service rather than being used. I am sure there is a lot of the first part but there is definitely some of the doormat that I needed to see in order to move forward in my life with choice. I can choose to decide when I want to help rather than feeling like I have to help simply because I have the ability to do so.
I could beat myself up for being the doormat and not seeing it or I can be proud that I am even aware I was doing it in the first place! I am going to choose to be proud because the other feels awful and I am not interested in self violence. I also became grateful in a short amount of time for the message that I no longer want to be that doormat. That means I will be more authentic with others and add more joy to my life.
Doormat being comes in a variety of examples. How I was acting as a doormat is not how you may act. Do you let others walk all over you? Do you do things you don't want to but because you don't want to let someone else down or feel you "should" do it? Do you continue to turn yourself inside out so someone will like you? This is about becoming aware of when you are allowing others to walk over you rather than help you transition through a doorway to a new way of being.
Becoming aware is not blame. It is being open to seeing things as having the possibility of a higher vibrational way of being. It is much more fun and easy to be who we really are, it simply takes practice to be self. To see the doorway as a choice of being a welcome invitation to change rather than an invitation to have others walk on your face!
Which feels better to you? Connect to that part of you that can determine what feels good. It doesn't matter if it doesn't feel good to another. This isn't a comparison game. What feels good to you at this time? If you need help, ask someone who is honest and will tell you if you have doormat tendencies. I can always depend on Howard to tell me if I am being taken advantage of. This used to happen a lot more than now because I have realized I can't disappoint others, if they are disappointed, that is on them, not me. He can see though, when I am not able to, when someone is authentic or when they are full of whoey. I will still feel it out for myself but more often than not, he has been right when someone had less than authentic motives.
Take some time this week to watch yourself and see when you are choosing doorways or doormat behavior. Are you walking through and making progress in a relationship or are you being passive and allowing others to wipe their feet at your expense? Don't get cranky either, you allowed this, you can change it. Take responsibility where you see it and choose to do it a different way. Voila!
Walking through a lot of doorways lately,
Vicki
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