You know what is really exciting to me?  Someone (including myself) who says, "Vicki, (yes, I talk to myself.) I don't know what the heck I want but I know I don't want to live/feel/exist this way any longer."  Yay! So blissfully exciting to hear those words. Why? Because it means the person has realized where and how they are is not satisfying any longer and they want more. It is also where I get to help, if they so desire.

The soul comes into the experience to want more. To explore, expand and eventually evolve through wanting more. More knowledge, more love, more self awareness and sometimes more ice coffee. It's a real thing this ice coffee soul need. Truly.

It can be part of the human condition to acquire more stuff when the soul is really asking to be experiential. It is asking to stretch and bust out of that comfort zone. The brain reads it as I must want the newest car, or next video game or to date someone else. If one was willing to really listen to self, it would realize it isn't asking for material objects but rather a feeling. A feeling of connection.

I get that this can be confusing, believe me, I get it! So how can it be less confusing? Well, first you have to be an active participant in your own life. You have to be willing to see what doesn't completely line up and then be brave enough to say, I want more. Then after realizing you want more, you must be willing to create it.

I haven't found a magic pill, button or spell that will transform someone in a blink of an eye. Think of how boring that would be? Sure, the first ten times would be fun when you immediately manifested what you want, but I'd be willing to bet most people would go to the material again on that and eventually find it less fulfilling then they originally thought it would be. The reason it wouldn't be fulfilling is each of us wants that GO ME! moment. We all want to celebrate and be proud of ourselves and we stinking deserve that feeling and moment.

So, what are you not doing that could help you get to that go me moment? Are you an active participant in your life or are you floating along the river of wherever the current takes you?  An active participant has a few of the following tools in their toolkit:

• They make decisions for themselves. They may consider another's input, but the decision comes from their own self. Whether this is where to go to dinner or what job to take or whom to date, it doesn't matter. It comes from within.
• An active participant is always learning. They realize that we can't possibly know everything but there is no limit on what we can learn so a walk in the forest can be as educational as a PhD. 
• An active participant feels lit up about their life. They know that there are ebbs and flows and that is what makes this life thing fun. There are opportunities everywhere and being excited about life brings them front and center. 
• An active participant is able to separate someone else's experience from their own because they are completely aware of the space they occupy. Empathy and compassion are available, but sympathy does not get play time. They realize that if someone else is acting out or not living up to their potential, it is on the individual not anyone else. 
• They also realize the entire world does not revolve around them so when another active participant makes a decision about their own life, it isn't because they don't have time for me/ love me/want what's best for me, wah wah wah

These are some of the ways one can check in on whether they are an active participant or not. There are millions more, I am sure. Be willing to take your own temperature and see if you are participating in your own life. I don't know about you, but when I croak and get to watch my movie of my life, I want to be able to say, Good job Vic, you were open and lived life to the fullest intention of your soul. High five! 

Actively enjoying my soul ice coffee this am, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One of the aspects of my work I love so much is I continue to see and learn new ways of viewing situations I have seen hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Humans like to believe we are all so different but there are similarities in our desires even if the path to them is vastly different.

The question I hear the most is who am I? I hear this from the majority of my clients but also from my own inner voice.  I've probably asked it millions of times by now. One, because I seek to know and two, because there is some feeling that when I know, then I can really start living. Well, I decided this week that there is a flaw in this question we are all asking. We have the words out of order.

What if....rather than asking who am I, we started stating, who I am?

Think about it. Doesn't it feel good to state who you are rather than ask who you are? Now, you may say, how am I supposed to do that, Vicki, if I don't know who I am? I'm glad you asked because that is where the fun is. When we ask who am I we are seeking external answers whether we ask it out loud or not. Some part of us is looking for someone else to tell us who the hell we are. Tell us our value, show us our worth and give us a darn map to this lifetime thing.

When we state who we are, we are doing it from a place of knowing rather than seeking. So, I will start and give you an example; (you are very brave to come into my mind with me.)

"Who am I? Am I a soul? Am I an intuitive, a coach, a belief specialist? A wife, a mother, a friend, a label to the outside world?" It is all very confusing because there isn't one answer to the one question.

However, when I decide to state who I am, it gets a bit more clear because I use the words I am.

• I am a soul within a person within this vast universe. 
• I am funny. (I think I am anyway, so therefore, I must be!)
• I am intuitive and curious and smart. 
• I am loving. 
• I am learning to be the best me I can be on any given day. 

Can you see how the energy changed there from a question with seemingly no answer to a statement of what I already have a knowing of? I can go from a place of feeling like not enough and confused or I can be in a feeling of pride, accomplishment and a little awe of all I have learned about me. I choose the later. I choose to see what I have already learned about me and build on that. 

What about you? Does asking the question who am I give you heart palpitations? Does it make you want to avoid the question all together? I know I did for years because just when I thought I figured it out, something would change. It was frustrating at times. 

What five things can you state about yourself right now? Don't worry about needing to tell others just yet. Observe them about you and get in the practice of seeing who you are today is just fine and build on that. It is really quite exhilarating to drop the less than drama and pick up the woo hoo, I rock, practice. 

If this is challenging for you, be kind and take your time doing it. You could also join us for the Intro to Life's Toolbox Series. We will help you identify what it is about you that is amazing and how to create a plan and foundation with those tools while adding others. We will also laugh a lot. 

Who I am is someone very grateful to have you with me on this journey!

Vicki

p.s. Don't make it work. This lifetime thing is meant to be fun! 

www.vickibaird.com

Did you sing it? Just me and my shadow, strolling along the avenue. It's a great tune from 1927 that speaks to the loneliness we can all feel at some point in our lives. Mom was a huge Perry Como fan so we heard this song a lot. I always thought it was an uplifting song because he had his shadow with him.

Today I was riding my bike and the sun peaked out enough to create my shadow ahead of me and I started humming the tune to myself. I was very happy to be out there with my shadow strolling along the Ashuwillticook Trail. (For those who aren't local, have fun saying it!)

It turns out in the song, the lyrics were speaking to one's loneliness as he only had his shadow for company.  We all have that shadow side. It is the aspect of ourselves that can carry the sadness but it is also the wonderful doorway to who we really are. Debbie Ford did some amazing work helping people to accept the shadow side of themselves. I love her work and it's as relevant today as the day she wrote it.

I often ask people to embrace the parts of themselves they don't want to see as helpful. Be nice to that voice that is whispering or yelling, to be heard. Be willing to listen to what your heart, soul, mind and energy needs.

Once you start listening, you can deconstruct the crap that got in there over the years and shed some light on that shadow part. Shine some divine energy it's way to free up some room for the excellence that is you. Isn't that what we all want? To shine and embrace all aspects of ourselves. To relax about what makes us, us and bring ease to this human experience?

I promise you, for most of us, the shadow isn't as scary as it seems. It does, however, hold unlimited dreams and hopes and desires and it deserves to be explored. If you need help exploring it, I am here. I will bring the headlamps, flashlights and fireflies to light the way.

Off to make shadow puppets,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever dug through the junk drawer to look for an allen wrench or that little tiny screwdriver that is only used to take the battery cover off of toys? Searching through the drawer reminds me of when we dig through our own wonderful selves to find the tools to understand our lives. I don't know about you, but I have totally used a screwdriver as a hammer before.

Using the whatever is a handy method that can work temporarily. For long term enjoyment of this life though, I believe we can learn to use the tools we have in an effective way. For example, for years I used self deprecating humor to get the insult in before someone else could. Eventually, I realized that felt awful and wasn't necessary. Humor is a wonderful gift and I couldn't see wasting it on beating myself up any longer. The tool of appreciation helped me shift that habit. I'm very good at laughing at things that come up or if I've done something that was a little silly and I love that about me. The days of bullying myself are over, thankfully.

Self appreciation is a tool that is in everyone's toolkit. Sometimes we just don't remember where we put it and how the heck to use it. Perhaps we haven't ever been taught it is more than ok to like oneself and then use that as a tool to help others.

Years ago I realized I wanted to help people to find what was in their toolkit. I can read the screen of someone's life for the rest of my life but the real fun comes when the person I am working with realizes they rock and are amazing. THAT is the best experience to be a part of. It is why I became certified as a coach and then in Belief Re-patterning (final certification pending. woo hoo!). When I add tools to my kit, I can share them, loan them out on occasion and figure out creative ways to bring them to the public.

• What tools do you currently have in your kit?
• Do you know? 
• Is there a doohickey in there that you have no clue how to use? 
• Do you have a difficult time even admitting you have tools?
• Could you use help in identifying what you have and what you could add? 

On May 2nd, I will be co-leading a class with Tamlyn Hedemann. Some may remember her from a few years ago when she led a fantastic class on kinisiology. It was a very well attended class so when she was in town a few months ago we decided Pittsfield was ready for us again. This class will help you in all the areas indicated above and more. I am so excited to be able to double the skills and abilities by working with her again and offering it to you. There will be some tears, a lot of aha's and plenty of laughter, I promise you that.  Not only because humor is in my kit, but because Tam and I are a hoot together, if I do say so myself. 

In the meantime, how about you start doing a little inventory and check out what you have accumulated in your tool kit and see what you can build with it. If the tool is not serving you, perhaps you don't need an auger, be willing to recycle that baby and make room for some great gift of a tool. (A relationship that has passed it's time of effectiveness or a car that is limping along would be a good example of this.)

Taking my tools and heading out to build something!

Vicki

Click to access class information.:)

As we move into spring, people are working on their lawns and making paths to their front door. This got me thinking about the paths that we create in our own lives. I find that most people are on some kind of moving sidewalk where they are telling themselves that they're on a path but when in fact they are following along to wherever the sidewalk is moving. Allowing life to direct them rather than directing their own life. This can work if you're willing to live a life that is reactive to whatever is being tossed at you but considering we are all magnets and drawing things to us, it seems to me the more fun way would be to create that path ourselves.

Before constructing a path it would be helpful to have a plan to put in place. It's not necessary to identify every little flower that you would have along this path but having an idea of what the layout will look like is extremely helpful. 

Often when someone comes in for coaching and feels like they have absolutely no direction in their life. I reassure them that it's not necessary to know every blade of grass but rather to be willing to put the pavers down that create the path in the first place.

So often people want immediate results and want to lay their paths out like a roll of sod where we just roll it and it's automatically green and beautiful. If that is the method taken, we would miss the fun of watching the new blades grow and show how strong they really are. We can leave the sod rolling to athletic fields. When it comes to our lives, a bit more connection and care is suggested.

So what do you do when you have absolutely no stinking clue about what you would like your path to be never mind where to put it? You start asking questions. You start asking what do I like? Where would I like to be? Who around me could be helpful in arriving in this place? And what belief systems do I need to identify in order to start the ball rolling?

Someone asked me a brilliant question last week that I had not considered. They asked if they had to know or identify a particular block in order to come in for a session for Belief Re-patterning. Absolutely not was my response. It's not even necessary to believe you have a block or a limiting belief system for Belief Re-patterning to help. At some of the demonstrations I've done at the complementary events once a month, people have been amazed at the identification of their own beliefs systems when they had no conscious knowing that anything was getting in their way.

Most of us live our lives operating on that sidewalk of automation working from the subconscious rather than being totally present and being conscious. There is an empowerment when one realizes this and decides to live from a conscious place and a place of choice. Belief Re-patterning has helped me to make that shift and to do it in a way that is supportive and fun, even when faced with challenges. I'd love to help you do this too. 

Our subconscious can be like that weed that keeps growing up in your sidewalk between the pavers. At first it doesn't seem like such a big deal you can weed whack it or put some product down to slow the growth of the weed but eventually it takes over and it pushes the pavers right out of the way. When one decides that their path will be one of choice, the weeds stop growing so prolifically and show up as exceptions rather than the rule.

We all have weeds in our life. We all have limiting self belief systems. Realizing we have a choice about how much they impact our daily experience is where we get to decide to construct our path and to do it from today rather than looking at all the old paths that may have been laid.

I don't know about you, but I've grown bored with the idea that limiting myself is somehow productive. It no longer serves me and I know your limiting your awesomeness doesn't serve you either. So, if you'd like to learn how to create a path that is supportive, fun, exciting and fulfilling, please give me a call or attend one of the Belief Re-patterning events. For those of you who may not be in the area, I do have a live online event coming in May. Stay tuned for that information. 

In the meantime, look around you and see what ideas you could come up with for creating your path. This is your journey. You get to decide how you would like to live it. There isn't a magic sidewalk button pushing troll who's in charge of it, you are.  Isn't that fun?

Making friends with my weeds,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

It occurred to me today that I have truly become part of a community. I love the Berkshires and have been comfortable here since we moved to the area eighteen years ago. It is only recently though, that I have allowed myself to form strong connections with more people. I grew up in a small town and in hindsight, had a great time there, but it always felt too small and I can still hyperventilate at the idea that someone will say "Vicki? You are one of the Badore girls aren't you?" I think I have always liked a little anonymity and that doesn't come in a small town with a family of eight kids! :)

When I moved to Massachusetts, I believe I wanted to protect that anonymity and although I have great friends from when I first moved to the area, I kept my circle small. I didn't want to live in what felt like a fishbowl any longer.

Fast forward a few years and I hung my shingle out as an intuitive. Yeah, the irony didn't get past me either. Being known for what I do didn't phase me. It made sense. Being known as Vicki was still a little uncomfortable as I didn't know who I was. I believe it was becoming so comfortable with myself that I was no longer concerned if anyone knew everything about me. I still completely value my private time, but I am an open book otherwise.

The reason it occurred to me that community is a great thing is I attended a service for a friend today. There isn't a superlative in the English language to describe the love I felt in that place. There were over three hundred people there and we came an hour into the calling hours so imagine adding the ones that had paid their respects and left!

I realized as I waited in line that he and his family had touched all these people so much we came out in droves, wrapping around the building down the block, to be in that energy one more time. Let's be honest, services are not for the ones that have passed, they are for the ones in the physical body perhaps as a reassurance that we are still here and also to remember the soul who touched our lives. Dave and his family know how to do community. You could poll anyone in that place and they would have a very specific experience with them. A connective experience. A conscious, very present experience.

It wasn't the number of people who showed up. That's not what made the impression on me. It was the knowing that each person there had felt, heard or seen at some point in their life because this amazing family helps you feel that way. I want to be like them when I grow up. I want to contribute to a world community like that. It isn't about how many people come to your service, it is about the time you took with each person over your life to help them feel like they matter.

I haven't processed all that has impacted me being a part of Dave's journey, but I have had some of these nuggets show up as teachers along the way. I asked Dave before he crossed that when he has the energy space, after visiting all his close friends and loved ones, and writing a manual on how to live and how to cross (because he freaking rocked both!), if he would help me to appreciate life and to live with a bit more compassion that seemed to be a natural part of his being.

Each blog I do has some sort of call to action in it. Today, in honor of the stubborn Irishman, I am going to ask you to be present. To listen to whomever you are visiting with and to take the time to look around and ask if you are creating community wherever you go. I know we are all teachers and students at the same time. It is time for us to learn this and then teach as we go by being living examples of compassion.

Hope to see you in the neighborhood,

Vicki

I read somewhere this week that admitting something is hard actually helps one to move forward. There is a reaction in the brain that apparently acknowledges it and then goes into acceptance mode. Brainwaves 101.

I'll admit I have a challenging time with that process but I believe it. Call it being raised by tough New Englanders or call it my own personal wiring, whatever it is, I am calling uncle this week.  I'm admitting that at times I am so overwhelmed with the energy and my wiring that I want to move to a deserted island and have a volleyball as my best friend. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is the amazing people I have met while being here. Well, that and I don't hunt or cook so the volleyball would outlive me and then be lonely, but I digress. 

So, in the interest of being healthy emotionally and well rounded individuals, I am suggesting we all give ourselves permission to admit when something hurts. A loved one passing, a relationship ending, a failed test, diagnosis or bumping your toe. They hurt. Admit it so the brain can do what it is wired to do and help you move forward. 

Since your brain is willing to do its job, perhaps you can help it. When allowing yourself to feel the pain, be mindful of the time. Be aware when you are choosing to sit in the sadness and are creating an identity as a sad person. Emotions pass through. That is their gift. We are not our emotions. We have them, we are not them. If you can keep this is mind, you can move through whatever is going on and be on to feeling more content.

I practice what I suggest, and assist with Belief Re-patterning, so I know it is possible. I have spent a large portion of the last seven days being aware I have pain yet I am not the pain. I have my humor still. I have an amazing gratitude for life and I have the data to show I have hurt before and came through with amazing growth. I may not be thrilled with the process, but life has shown me that beautiful flowers grow out of fertilizer. Cultivating that trust in the process is the way to handle tough situations with grace. 

Be kind to yourself, be honest and be willing to find your amazement too. I know your brain is wonderful and wants to help you embrace this life process along with your heart and total being. 

Shimmying my way through,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

In honor of April fools day, I thought I would do a tribute to the statement "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." While I don't believe shame is inspirational, the statement can be pretty handy to remember and therefore followed.

It's not a big secret in my family that I see the best in people. I believe that we are unlimited and only run into less than energy when we don't believe in ourselves. For years I would champion people that quite frankly, didn't earn it. Did they deserve it, sure they did, someone had to believe in them. What I didn't realize is it didn't have to be me. I have often put others way ahead of what I wanted in my life. I think that is something most people can understand, and a lot have a challenge with themselves.

It took some pretty upsetting circumstances for me to be able to admit that not everyone operates from a place of honesty and wanting the best for all. I didn't want to believe that about others but once I allowed myself to accept it, that statement wasn't as difficult to say nor to accept.

I realized admitting to myself that I don't have to like everyone was very freeing. I could see them for who they were presenting to me and it didn't mean I was failing at loving another, it meant that I was able to see their true self.  Also not a reflection on me, but of them.

I know that I am not the authority on how people live their lives but I am the authority on me and at this point in my life, I am not willing to fool me twice for the sake of another.

• Have you reached this place in your knowing as well?
• Do you feel that you can appreciate the diversity in people while recognizing your own value so you don't let them take advantage?
• Can you accept that others WILL show you their true self and while most of the time that is wonderful, sometimes it is not and being willing to see it can help all involved?

The statement could be said as, fool me once, that's on me, fool me twice, that's on me too. Holding the responsibility of whether you can be fooled allows for honesty and transparency. Once you know it's possible, you can free yourself from the place of people pleasing.

So whether it is a coworker, friend who may not meet that description any longer, or a family member, it is our soul given right to align with those that help our heart sing. When that no longer happens, we are free to decide what is in our best interest to do so, without guilt.

Now it is very possible that we might be that person that someone else is deciding no longer aligns with them.  Again by accepting our own personal responsibility, I believe we can complete relationships with respect and walk away without feeling like a fool. 

Use this potentially funny day to find the space within your own heart that allows people to go on their journey even if it takes them away from you and to be on your journey even if it takes you away from another.

Foolish in fun only,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com