I have heard from so many people asking how do they handle the energy and circumstances of life lately. I have waited and thought about whether to respond in a public way and then decided that I have to or I would be doing a disservice since so many are asking.

 I am asking. I have asked myself what the heck is going on on an almost daily basis. It normally takes A LOT for me to be upset, cranky or mad but these last couple of weeks I have felt like I needed to be the groundhog and go back under to protect those around me from what could be a fascinating spew of words. Perhaps you have felt this way too.

No doubt we are being asked to practice the skills we have in place and to develop even more of them. Mostly patience, tolerance and love, I believe. While I can not say to the whole reason we have conflict or challenges in our lives, I do know for a fact they are there as a way to help us rise up and see what we care capable of. Not everyone is going to take that challenge as one of growth. They may react rather than respond. They may lash out and accuse and they may show a side of themselves you have never seen before. Maybe you are that person. Maybe you are seeing aspects of yourself you haven't realized were there. Maybe you don't like it. Fantastic! We can only change when we realize there is something there to be changed!

I am not only referring to the political landscape, because I will NOT get into that, but the energy of the universe and the request that we, as humans, need to keep growing and asking more of ourselves. That is the process of the soul and there is no getting around it. Each being is sending out a signal of growth and while they may not like it, or want to respond to it, it happens. It makes people downright miserable sometimes.

What I can suggest in this experience is to remind yourself that you are not responsible for how someone else acts, behaves or speaks. You are responsible for you and how you are in the world. The world is going to change. It is not always going to be of your liking. It is not the worlds job to make sure you are ok with it. It just isn't. Get over that if that is your thinking.

 Our response to the world and the actions of it's people IS up to us. Holding any kind of fear, hate, resentment or accusatory energy will effect the world sure, but it will completely effect your life first. When we hold this energy it not only changes the cells within our body, it emanates and then creates more conflict in the world. We all get mad. I think that is great. Emotions matter. What we do with the emotions may matter even more because it then becomes the example of who we are.

How many times have you lashed out in anger or in hurt and then thought about it after and realized that is NOT who you are but how you were feeling at the time? If you do it a lot; you need to look within and get clear on why this is who you want to be and if there is anything you can do about it.

I have a theory that people who are lashing out are doing so because they are mad about who they are inside. Remember, each person is the only one who really knows what is going on inside and can speak with authority on themselves. So often unresolved issues are just below the surface ready to come out but we are afraid to look at it or ask ourselves what the heck we are doing. Then when someone cuts us off in traffic, disagrees with who we like or what we believe, the match is lit and the powder keg goes off. It is so much easier to point the finger out and not realize there are three pointing back at oneself. So much easier to say, they are wrong, or dumb or misinformed than to say, wait a minute; maybe that is my sh*t.

There are going to be issues in life. There are going to be problems and disappointments. There are going to be arguments and there are going to be people you don't like. That is fine. That is life. How you respond to these circumstances are a good indication of how peaceful you feel on the inside. The problems aren't the issue. The way they get addressed are.

Feel passionate about your life. Feel what is in alignment and what isn't. Feel how you would like your life to be and who you would like in it. But for goodness sake, do not think for a moment that it is miserable because of someone else's doing. If it is miserable, realize that and do something to change it. Once you get that, and really get it, then step forward and create change. Then use your voice to communicate how life could be different. Then educate.

So many people are yelling at the top of their lungs lately that they can't even hear the voice within. I get being ticked off. I understand frustration and anger. I do not understand being mean to another and I certainly do not understand how when we all have a soul and heart we can't be accepting of
ourselves and others.

Yes, the energy is freaking nuts right now. Yes, people are not happy with their lives (please see above on what to do about that) and yes, it is still winter in many places (I'd like to point out that it IS February. Of course it's winter!) but external circumstances only effect your life if you let them. Get clear on what you are really upset about and then address that. I promise you, when you do that, the ups and down in energy will be something you realize is there, but not something that takes you out of enjoying the beautiful life we are blessed to have on this planet.

I heard a quote today on a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Jordan Metzi. He said "if you aren't actively building it; you are losing it." While he was talking about supportive muscle fibers, I heard it as a more internal process of if we aren't practicing self care, kindness, love or acceptance, we are going to lose it. I believe in our ability to create a world where these muscles get flexed on a regular basis. I believe in our hearts and souls and I believe in you.

Be the change you wish to see in the world is not only a quote often used in the spiritual world; it is a credo we can all aspire to.

Be that change, please.

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

The heart is an amazing thing isn't it? It is responsible for pumping our blood, electrical and functional at the same time, what we consider emotional balance and being the symbol of Valentines day. It has so many jobs and euphemisms in our vocabulary, it's no wonder it gets tired sometimes and has to quit working or short circuit so we will listen to it.

Shortly after the dude croaked I had heart palpitations. I let the Dr know during my visit and after a few fun EKG's, it was determined it might just be stress. Ya think? I made an appointment with my acupuncturist for a reboot and he correctly ascertained I was out of balance in my electrolytes. It seems all the working out, heat and stress I was under took me out of the game a little. I'm happy to say the flutters are less often now and I know what they are connected to and I adjust.

The amazing thing that happened though during the process was I had to look at what was causing some of the pain. I don't believe in saying we have a broken heart because the heart isn't what's hurting, it is the emotional center that resides near the physical heart. I didn't want to create a physical issue because of what was so obviously an emotional one. I also didn't want to alarm anyone so I decided to do the work quietly, which is what I needed anyway. Quiet.

I was really hurting emotionally one day and while walking the dog, where all great epiphanies happen, I thought, what if the pain I am feeling isn't because I "lost" someone I love so much, but what if it was because my heart is so full of his love that the physical body is trying to adjust?  What if when he passed and because he is pure positive love, he was sending infusions of love at levels I wasn't used to? I am very fortunate that as much as I could let Howard push my buttons with his humanness, I always knew I was the love of his life.  A lot of pressure sometimes, but I had that knowing and I am very grateful to have felt that kind of love. Who knew there was more? Holy macaroni! We are impressive as souls aren't we?

This week I have been at a conference for Belief Re-patterning and had the opportunity to attend a Flip Your Switch event in person. Again, I say holy macaroni, because there was so much love, authentic love there I felt that same pain in my chest. Luckily, I know it now and didn't get concerned, until I was trying to run here. The lack of oxygen at this level is impressive for this New Englander. Anyway, love is something I am learning to let show and in. I fully admit I allowed Howard to be the focus and the reflection of my love and without him here, I have to be that and it is a bit foreign. I am really good at showing people I love them through action, but in expression, I have room for improvement.

I am going to work on bringing the event to the Berkshires because we could use the example and man, it was a lot of fun too!

What if you looked at your life and where you thought you had an emptiness, you felt into it and asked is it because you aren't letting in light, love, humor, joy, playfulness, reverence, people, spiritual growth? The list is going to be as diverse as people are so check in there and see what the inventory really is.

What if you weren't afraid to show that you really do care about people, authentically and without reserve? What if that caring started with yourself? Imagine the joy we could create in this world. Brother Sun is a band I love and they have a great song called In The Name of Love. It is about being brave enough to be the person to hold the belief in love being a great force. I hope to be that person one day who exemplifies what honest loving is. Allowing people to be who they are. Wishing them well when they have to leave our lives for whatever reason and using that space to fill up with more love.

Authentic love is one that knows value in all, starting with self, in order to align with what resonates with self. It means, to me anyway, that we don't need to put up with any behavior that is less than. The band also has a song called Jericho Road that states hate is too great a weight to bare. I agree as that is often what causes the heart conditions we see in our world. Holding that pain, hate, anger, less than feeling in blocks the love which clogs the heart. I don't know about you, but I am done being a part of the world that lives in that fear.

One of the things Howard used to say to me is I gave people too many chances to show me who they really are. I agree with him, I've often been hurt because of that but you know what, I'm ok with that because it means at some point someone believed the most in them and I believe that energy travels along with them but if I hold resentment, anger, hurt or hesitancy, that hangs with me. No thank you. I want my heart center beating and emanating to match the love the non physical show us is possible. If I explode in the process, I will blast off and shower the love everywhere!

This is a process (said with the long o after being in Canada for a week!) and I know that. One I am excited to get going on. Would you like to join me in creating a world that shows love as a strength? I certainly hope so.

Loving lifts us up. Let's fly!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Are you ready to get off this roller coaster? I know I am.  I am one who often says, don't blame the energy for your issue, but mama mia the last two weeks have me using every tool I can think of to keep the mouth under wraps. Not only do I have a quick wit, I can have a very quick and sharp tongue too. I have worked on myself diligently in the last decade to use the wit and not the sarcasm so it has been a great measure of how well I am doing. So far, so good but a deserted island for the next two days would be a good thing!

Granted we have had a busy two weeks and a few family challenges to deal with. Anyone out there have an adult child move home....you know of what I speak. I adore my daughter and it is fun to have her here but the rearranging of two households while working full time and squeezing in walks with the dog, a customer service issue with the business and training rides on the bike (whose idea was a triathlon relay team anyway? Oh, mine, crap.) have taken my naturally good nature and mixed in the amazingly challenging energy of universe to create a shorter fuse than I am accustomed to. This is life, I get that and give me five minutes and I can find the humor in just about anything.

For instance, in the midst of all of this, someone decided to take letters off my name on the sign in our building. The first time I saw it the downstairs sign read icki Baird. I laughed at it and didn't pay too much mind to it except to contact my landlord and say I needed to buy a consonant. I appreciated the creativity of seeing icki in my name and using it. To be honest, in forty five years, it never occurred to me. THAT was even funnier to me.

The next day I walk into my building and don't pay much attention to the sign but when I get to my office a building mate says to me, "did you see there is now an "a" missing from your last name?" I looked at her with a what are you talking about face and then in hit me, I was now icki Bird. I still thought it was funny and called the landlord's office to say, better send a vowel too. It wasn't until I went to get lunch (highly recommend the Dawn's Delight salad at Baba Louie's) that I realized the sign UPSTAIRS was gouged out too. Not scratched out or played with, but gouged out.

It got real then. Vicki Baird was known in the building as Icki Bird.  Well, this Icki Bird has had enough. There is only so much pressurized energy a person can take and for me, defacing my landlord's property while trying to make a point that you didn't get your way was one too many things for me tolerate. I decided then that my being angry was totally ok. I tell people all the time that all emotions are valid but I hadn't let myself have them. I harnessed the moment (because my anger passes so quickly, there is rarely a benefit to the charge) and made sure there was video, contacted the police and called the landlord's office AGAIN.

Someone may use their anger to try to hurt us but what we do with it is up to us. I could have taken the road of holding the anger and confronting the person (yup, we know who it is) and justified my own anger with words, but appropriate action and boundaries are enough. I also printed out my name on paper and put it over the defaced property. Claim and clear the space again. I had to work quickly because the humor was coming back again and I could see that it was not against me but rather a reflection of the other person's inner angst and there was nothing I could do with that.

Perhaps someone does think I am an Icki Bird, but that is none of my damn business. They can. It is still a free country. What I believe about myself is much more important and where I want to put my attention.

So, the moral of this story? Hang in there, the energy is shifting in two days and if someone is willing to rename you, check in and see if it resonates before ordering your new sign!

I think I'll keep Vicki, it seems to fit,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Chase their tails that is. I just don't get it. I have been feeling like I am doing that this week and it doesn't feel fun to me. Perhaps missing the canine gene is the issue but it seems pretty stressful to me. Even if you catch it, what do you do, bite it?

Have you felt like this lately? I know the energy is a bit excited and can be interpreted as an anxious feeling for some, or a feeling of being jacked up on caffeine, but spin in circles? I am not a fan. I am a fan of the direction of the universal energy right now which is to celebrate our process here and to be more of a cohesive unit. This doesn't mean be in each others back pocket..again..not a fan. What it means is recognizing that when we play well with others, we all succeed.

There is a ridiculous controversy going on in sports right now and I want to shout from the roof tops, IT IS A GAME! Unless you are the players that are directly involved, THIS DOES NOT INVOLVE YOU. Stop acting like it does because you are showing some of your true colors in your behavior and it ain't pretty. Play well with others. Realize that while some may not play well, you are only responsible for you and how you act in response to those who aren't playing well. If you have angry outbursts about sports or any external controversy, you have some within yourself that are the real issue and perhaps you could spend some time looking at that rather than chasing the tail of no results.

I found myself wanting to respond to some of the posts on facebook and then realized, Vicki, stop chasing OTHER people's tails! There is a reason for the unfollow or unfriend button. Exercise the option.

The reason I bring this up is the energy that is present now and for perhaps another two weeks will have this component of whipping up anger and unresolved issues in order to release them. Typically, I report on the energy when it is almost complete so that people can't use it as an excuse to be ding dongs but this is going to be long enough that I felt it would be good to grab those of you who are emotionally mature enough to be responsible for their own actions while realizing why others may be loosing their stuffing and lend some compassion.

We contribute to the energy in the universe so even though there is a little push to get us to clear our stuff, we can't use it as a reason to develop road rage. Be aware and do the things that help ground you so you can be present and not lash out at others in a game of energy volleyball.

What are two things that always bring you back to your senses and your body so you can make choices from the conscious place?  For me it is breath and a workout that involves paying attention to what I am doing and praying it ends soon. When it is that intense, you can't think about anything else and by the time you finish, most of what you were hanging on to is gone. The breath will always bring you back to center. Check in now and see if you are breathing and using your diaphragm or are you breathing in your upper chest. Most of us have learned to breathe in our upper chest and that keeps us in reactive mode. Take some nice centering breaths whenever you feel you are spinning out and you will be amazed at how fast the moment passes. Give yourself that gift of a minute and a half to focus and let the tail go.

Yes, life is busy and can whip us up into that tail chasing place but we don't have to go there or stay there. We can borrow the other canine ability; the ability to let things go and bask in the rays of the sun. I am going to align myself there as the self-sabotage of tail biting is boring to me now. Would you like to join me in taking some deep breaths and finding a great spot to soak up the stillness? I bet you would.

During the next few weeks, or years of your life, choose where you will align your energy and choose how you will spend your time. It's your life, do you really want to lend it out to non-supportive habits? Be nice to you and if the anger is coming up and you don't know how to use it constructively, which is not posting on a public platform, then seek help. Give that gift to self.

Choosing to breathe and play,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com