With all the graduations going on now, it got me thinking. Aren't we always in a state of graduating? Isn't that the experience we call life? A series of steps that lead to another level of learning, growing, application and awareness. Sure there are specific times that are celebrated and should be like when one completes a level of education or training, but life seems to have its own graduation points. Perhaps if we viewed them this way, we wouldn't see this life thing as such a struggle.

For instance, when people come to see me because they are unsure how to handle this next step of life called retirement, I often suggest that they see it as a graduation. As something to celebrate rather than be nervous about all that time that they will have now that they don't work full time. There is another reason I suggest they see it this way; to retire means to rest or withdraw from and I just don't think this is a good way to go into what could be the most fun time of one's life. Besides, some of the people I know who have graduated are busier now then when they worked!

Think about the steps you have taken in your own life that could be seen as a graduation. What about when you decided to move away from home or when you realized the relationship you were in was not serving either of you and you called it over? Or what about the time you made the commitment to your health and started eating more organically or less chips? These are all places where you grew, learned and committed. Go you!

If we accept the idea of a graduated system, we can also appreciate the fact that we didn't get to graduate high school or an equivalent diploma without going through elementary school. Following this idea, perhaps the first time or two, or three that you attempted to eat healthy were your elementary school experience. Perhaps the friendships with people you realized weren't really friends you would like to hang out with were really the middle school field trip where you learned there was more to this world that you would like to explore.

Maybe not knowing what to do with your life and how you will traverse it is the great graduation point of all times. Accepting that we will never really know what we want to be when we grow up, because we are always growing, and learn to be in whatever experience or grade is happening at the time.

We are proud of graduates. We celebrate them. Even throw parties to commemorate the growth. Why can't we do this for every aspect of our life and learn to be appreciative of the ability to be here in this school playground? I'm not saying we have to get an award for everything we do, or a trophy just for showing up. I'm still a little old school on that one, but we can recognize when we've hit a milestone and be willing to be proud of ourselves.

This past week someone close to me said some pretty hurtful things. I'll admit, I carried it with me for a few days and it hit hard enough to draw tears. Then I remembered I have the say over whether I am hurting about another's actions. They show who they are, not me and I can continue to carry it or I can release it and know that moving forward I will know exactly how she thinks of me and graduate out of that middle school program!

What if this week you took an example from all those moving into new areas of their lives and got brave enough to explore where you are graduating now and do it with celebration?

What if....

Off to play Pomp and Circumstance,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

There is popular language in the self help world that has, I believe, been challenging for people. I'm a word gal. I can feel the vibrations in words so when someone uses these terms it is the equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

One of the phrases is "I am working on myself." It took me a bit to figure out why this felt so resistant to me. It is the working word. Doesn't it create a feeling of drudgery in you as well? I love my job but the idea of working on my business can send me out to the playground and into avoidance really quickly. Suggest that I create a new avenue or enhance what I am doing and I get excited. It isn't simply a mind over matter or semantics in the word choice, there is a vibration to everything and I am suggesting we all start paying attention to that vibration.

So if work is a four letter word, what is another way of saying that for you? We could suggest play, or exploration or even application, that would work too. Give yourself the time to feel this out and see what works for you. (See what I did there? Made work an action not a judgment.) For one of my clients last week it was practical discovery.

She was lamenting on how she had been "working" on herself for decades and nothing was "working". I had to stop her and ask if that felt good to say it that way. She obviously knew it didn't but wasn't sure where to go with it. I suggested that she see herself in practical discovery.  A bit of a treasure hunt to the great parts of herself and then a plan to apply them. She likes plans which is why the working on self worked for her. It gave her a sense of action and doing something but if she was never reaching a place of the work working, what was the point?

We are eternal. We are never going to get it all done. So, why not be in a space of excitement and wonder with our own selves. We are pretty amazing you know.

I'm suggesting a softer, more compassionate way of growth. One that takes into consideration we must build on what we learned today and implement it tomorrow and carry that into whatever comes next. Build up the potential rather than see what we have as flawed and in need of "working" on.

Let's leave the hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work we go, to the Disney movie and sing a different tune!

Rocking out to Life is a Highway,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com