Are you ready to get off this roller coaster? I know I am.  I am one who often says, don't blame the energy for your issue, but mama mia the last two weeks have me using every tool I can think of to keep the mouth under wraps. Not only do I have a quick wit, I can have a very quick and sharp tongue too. I have worked on myself diligently in the last decade to use the wit and not the sarcasm so it has been a great measure of how well I am doing. So far, so good but a deserted island for the next two days would be a good thing!

Granted we have had a busy two weeks and a few family challenges to deal with. Anyone out there have an adult child move home....you know of what I speak. I adore my daughter and it is fun to have her here but the rearranging of two households while working full time and squeezing in walks with the dog, a customer service issue with the business and training rides on the bike (whose idea was a triathlon relay team anyway? Oh, mine, crap.) have taken my naturally good nature and mixed in the amazingly challenging energy of universe to create a shorter fuse than I am accustomed to. This is life, I get that and give me five minutes and I can find the humor in just about anything.

For instance, in the midst of all of this, someone decided to take letters off my name on the sign in our building. The first time I saw it the downstairs sign read icki Baird. I laughed at it and didn't pay too much mind to it except to contact my landlord and say I needed to buy a consonant. I appreciated the creativity of seeing icki in my name and using it. To be honest, in forty five years, it never occurred to me. THAT was even funnier to me.

The next day I walk into my building and don't pay much attention to the sign but when I get to my office a building mate says to me, "did you see there is now an "a" missing from your last name?" I looked at her with a what are you talking about face and then in hit me, I was now icki Bird. I still thought it was funny and called the landlord's office to say, better send a vowel too. It wasn't until I went to get lunch (highly recommend the Dawn's Delight salad at Baba Louie's) that I realized the sign UPSTAIRS was gouged out too. Not scratched out or played with, but gouged out.

It got real then. Vicki Baird was known in the building as Icki Bird.  Well, this Icki Bird has had enough. There is only so much pressurized energy a person can take and for me, defacing my landlord's property while trying to make a point that you didn't get your way was one too many things for me tolerate. I decided then that my being angry was totally ok. I tell people all the time that all emotions are valid but I hadn't let myself have them. I harnessed the moment (because my anger passes so quickly, there is rarely a benefit to the charge) and made sure there was video, contacted the police and called the landlord's office AGAIN.

Someone may use their anger to try to hurt us but what we do with it is up to us. I could have taken the road of holding the anger and confronting the person (yup, we know who it is) and justified my own anger with words, but appropriate action and boundaries are enough. I also printed out my name on paper and put it over the defaced property. Claim and clear the space again. I had to work quickly because the humor was coming back again and I could see that it was not against me but rather a reflection of the other person's inner angst and there was nothing I could do with that.

Perhaps someone does think I am an Icki Bird, but that is none of my damn business. They can. It is still a free country. What I believe about myself is much more important and where I want to put my attention.

So, the moral of this story? Hang in there, the energy is shifting in two days and if someone is willing to rename you, check in and see if it resonates before ordering your new sign!

I think I'll keep Vicki, it seems to fit,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had surgery? I hope not, but if you have, one of the bits of advice they give you is to not chase the pain. There is going to be pain. Don't let it get to the point where it is so high that it takes more time for the meds to work. That interferes with healing process and just seems silly. So, if we have figured this out for when a part of us has to be cut into, why haven't we figured this out for the emotional self. These are the types of things I think about on a daily basis. Don't you want to be in my head for a bit?  No?  Ok, fine, then I will share here sort of out loud. :)

Being stressed is the emotional equivalent to physical pain. It also leads to physical pain. When we are stressed our body is under incredible pressure. The stress creates a back pressure that builds up and builds up and eventually has to be released. Often this comes out in temper, tears or frustrating outbursts. Those are the healthy expressions. If not released it becomes organ issues, blood pressure problems, and all the diagnosis that include the word dis-ease.

What I have been wondering is why we let it get to that point? Why do we wait until we are going to explode to communicate what we would like and to make some changes? Why do we wait until the pain is so great that we can't even articulate the issue?

There is going to be pain. There is no way around that in this lifetime if you have loved anyone or anything, there is going to be pain. If you have worked your buns off but don't get the promotion, there is going to be pain. If you stub your toe, there is going to be pain. We spend so much time avoiding the conversations that are painful that we eventually end up having them in very ineffective ways that usually include yelling, crying or walking out in temper. The other way we handle it is to cover it up with numbing agents be it drugs, food, prescription meds etc.

Why not treat it proactively as in pain control? You don't have to take a narcotic, you can do deep breathing, you can use oils or any of the other ways to decrease pain. You don't have to numb out to handle pain but it would be great to be able to say, hey, I may have a little pain in this life. I may want to develop the skills to manage that pain so should it show up I am not dealing with the issue, in pain and looking for the skill to shift at the same time while posting to social media.

What if you added a few of these to your tool kit of pain management?

• Increased your communication skills so you can talk about what you are experiencing so you can ask for help if necessary. I am suggesting communication, not getting lost in your story!
• Developed the mechanism to recognize you are building up some steam and it would be a good idea to release it before your whistle goes off.
• Used techniques like breathing, Belief re-patterning, therapy, EFT, tapping or kick boxing.
• Evaluated how you felt so you would know if you were building up or maintaining.
• Were willing to admit you may not know it all, don't want to be it all or carry it all. Courage, it takes courage, but you have it. I know you do.
• Were willing to drop the drama (along with that will go a lot of pressure, trust me) and address whatever is going on from a calm and collected place.
• Were able to ask yourself "is this true or is this something I have embellished to create pain?".

There are as many different ways to handle pain as there are people in this world. We have to be willing to get in front of the issue and decrease the pressure so we can come to solutions that are supportive. I truly believe that someone who hurts another is one who is hurt themselves. It doesn't excuse hurting another, but if we could create an environment where expressing that hurt and being willing to release it was acceptable, more people would depressurize and we wouldn't have so much illness or conflict. How great would that be?

What can you do this week to recognize your own pain level and take steps to alleviate, without creating drama or sitting in it, that pain? What could you do to support your desire to be here and living a life that, while may have an occasional hiccup, is a pretty darn good ride?  You have to be willing to do your own work. Don't look for another to do it for you or both will end up hurt and the one willing to see the pain, will be the one walking away.

Be brave and be good to you!

Looking under my own hood,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One word expresses the pathway to greatness: voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”               Steven Covey

The voice is an amazing thing. It conveys content of our brains and emotions. It can carry a tune and can generate great joy with humor, inflection and inspiration. It can also be very missed when it isn't working to what has become accustomed to being "normal". I have found this out this week. What I thought was a few allergies last week has blown into a full on cold with laryngitis and a cough that would impress the keepers of any tuberculosis ward.  During this time I have been perplexed, as anyone who knows me can tell you, I am a talker. I can talk to ANYONE and often have a great time doing it. I have a pretty good vocabulary and can carry my part of the conversation quite well.....but not without a voice. The only one who understands my flailing hand signals seems to be the dog! Mostly because he's just hoping there is a treat associated with the flailing.

I have tapped into what this could be about, what am I not saying in my world and because the throat chakra is about listening too, I asked what am I not hearing? I have both been relieved that I didn't have to talk if I didn't want to and frustrated that people find it funny to point out my recent silent retreat like they've been waiting forty three years for this silence....and perhaps they have....I am a good talker as stated before. :)

Stick around any philosopher or self awareness class long enough and you will hear someone say where are you not using your voice? Where do you feel you are not expressing yourself? I have asked these questions of others myself and obviously of myself this week. They are fantastic questions to ask and I would suggest doing so before creating a health issue for self!

When we aren't using our voices to express what works and what doesn't work in our lives, the energy gets all backed up and can create everything from a tickle in the throat, ear issues to thyroid issues and other glandular challenges.

Where could you be using your voice more effectively? Where would it feel good to you to express how you are really feeling? Do you hold back because you are afraid what someone else may think? Perhaps you just need a jump start in expression.

This can be done in any number of ways. You could literally speak or sing your truth , you could do an art project or you could write a letter or a journal entry. Keep in mind if you write a letter, you do not have to send it. You can rip it up or burn it to release whatever had been pent up inside you.

If you are interested in the journal idea, feel free to sign up for a free account at my journal site www.coachingjournal.vickibaird.com. It's a great way to express right at your finger tips and completely private. Another way technology is here to help!

However you find your expression is fantastic and a gift to self and one never knows what is hidden under unexpressed emotions. Sometimes it is our genius just waiting to get out. I certainly hope this is the case with myself and one more good cough is going to release it!

I am certain my voice will be back and stronger than ever (this could be seen as a heads up) and when it is, amazing a ha's for my life along with it. That is the fun part, the a ha. Now if you'll excuse me my doctor is going to assist with the return of my voice so I can go apologize to the woman at the coffee drive thru for having to put up with my squeaky request this morning. Amazing the places we use out voices and don't even think of, isn't it?

Formally known as chatterbox as a child,
Vicki