Have you felt a bit off lately? Perhaps a bit more tired than usual and a tad more, shall we say, touchy? Well, I hear ya and have had the duct tape nearby in case I needed to tape the mouth shut. Self awareness is a great thing. I am often appreciative of the push the universal energy gives me to look at my stuff and this one feels very pushy. I have had a pain in my left shoulder for going on three weeks now. I am not impressed. I knew it was emotional in nature, as all of our issues start as, and have been peeling away the layers to see what it was and if the finger that was in my shoulder could possibly get the hell out!

I feel like I could have a ticker like Twitter where I could tell of what is trending. Now, it is not going to be regarding Hollywood or the music scene but it will be what is trending in peoples lives, energetically. This last month has been all about the mother relationship. I saw it in quite a few people but still hadn't really put the connection together that we were in a universal pattern until I got a whammy awareness about my own stuff as related to my mother while in a craniosacral session. My physical therapist could practically smell my brain smoking as I put it all together. I won't get into all the details but suffice it to say I was seeing the relationship as more than hearts and unicorns as my accepting mind wanted to see it all these years. *palm to the forehead*

The universal pattern? Recognizing ourselves as separate from our mothers. Of course we are all walking around without the umbilical cord attached but I was seeing the relationships in a whole new way. When we are born, there is a removing of the umbilical cord as we take our first breaths on our own. Whether we remain with our birth mothers or go on to our chosen parents, the experience is going to be the same. I have been seeing the people I was meeting with, an energetic cord that was still attached to our mothers. I joked with one woman that we could all get together and do a ceremonial cord cutting with our adult selves being the holder of the scissors.

This process is one that I feel is fantastic but it is a bit discombobulating at the same time. I have known something was happening regarding my process both as a mother and having been mothered but I chalked it up to the "I am always looking to see where I can improve and how I can participate in this world most authentically" process. To be clear, removing this energetic cord doesn't remove the person from your life. It does though, help us to be able to see ourselves as individual souls and thereby having a bit more space to really know, and become, who we are.

I believe this is happening as the result of the influx of feminine energy that started to come in over four years ago. Girl power! In order to hold ourselves in a powerful place, we have to be able to appreciate those around us without carrying them or being tied to what their challenges may be. What better energy to start with than your mother? For those who may have been adopted or raised in foster care, or by other family members, it would relate to the mother figure most present in your life.

If you would like to take advantage of the power surge of maternal internal quest, ask yourself these questions:

• What is it about the relationship with my mother that I would want to change? If she has passed, you can still connect and shift whatever wasn't in alignment. (For me, I realized I was trying so hard to not be my mother, I became her in many ways. Luckily, she was a lovely woman who had her own fears and preferred to be home. Unless you said shopping and then she was IN!)
• I may love my mother, but do we like each other?  Would we hang out together if we weren't related?  Would I hang out with me if we weren't related.  (That's fun, isn't it?)
• Is there anything unfinished in our relationship and if she is physical, can we work on it now? If she is not willing, can YOU do the releasing and completion for yourself? 
• Am I able to see we both did the best we could with what we had at the time? 
• If the cord really is released and I am my own self in the great big universe, how will I hold that space and celebrate me, the giver of life to ME?

Take this process slowly. Gestation and birth takes time and birthing ourselves requires patience, as well as, a lot of self care and love. Be willing to nurture yourself and appreciate whatever relationship you have had with the maternal example in your life for it got you to who you are today. Now, go out there and be even more wonderful!

Mama mia, we are amazing, aren't we?

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

If you are from New England, you are very familiar with rotaries. Also referred to as roundabout or traffic circle. We seem to be very proud of our rotaries in this part of the country. Have you ever been to Cape Cod? Goodness, I got dizzy just navigating from one end to the other.

I understand the premise of a traffic circle, which is to get the traffic that is flowing through a neighborhood to slow down and behave in an orderly fashion. What I don't get is why one would install one in their own life. We do it though. We are engineers of our own confusion. We install habits that make roundabouts make sense!

The rotary's of life can be something like dating the same type of person over and over again or paying off debt only to go back into it. Perhaps you have lost weight and gained it and lost it again. Traffic circle. One stinking confusing pattern after another. I know I have seen them in myself and wondered who the heck gave me the license to drive this life anyway? One of my greatest roundabouts was taking care of people and making excuses for their behaviors. Oh yeah. If you are going to build a circle in the middle of your life, you ought to build a darn good one like that.

For years I would justify why someone was acting like a putz. Now, I accept that some do and it is my choice to go around and around with them or to take the off ramp and go my own way. Most often I choose to go my own way; straight. Circles make me dizzy. To be clear, my going around while others showed me exactly who they were wasn't helping them either. Each time I took a turn around the circle and allowed their behavior, I was reinforcing to them that it was ok to treat me that way and it was ok for them to stall out on their own growth and accountability.

I'm not even sure when I decided that behavior wasn't how I wanted to travel any longer but I am glad I did. I know the supportive tools I have accumulated like self awareness and Belief Re-patterning have helped exponentially. Now when I travel this life road, rotaries are just that, a way to get around a neighborhood at a slightly slower speed, safely to the other side.

• What habits do you have in your life that are taking you around in circles, making you dizzy and past neighborhoods you have seen time and time again? 
• What have you heard yourself say over and over again that you were not going to do again? 
• Where in your life could you use a new traffic study and a whole new map to travel? 

While the slowing down to look is an integral part of the roundabout, I do believe we can do that even when the road stays straight or veers slightly to one side or the other. We are so capable of moving forward in an orderly manner and creating a flow with our lives that is supportive of all aspects of growth, once we realize that the way we have been traveling was nothing but a way to distract us from wanting more clarity and joy in our lives. We do that. We create diversions, drama and distractions. Aren't we cute as a species? 

Be the brave ones. Be willing to go straight and to save detours for when summer season descends on your cute little New England town! Leave the rotaries to those who aren't sure they can slow down and look at their life on their own without a little help. 

Renewing my license for life,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I read somewhere this week that admitting something is hard actually helps one to move forward. There is a reaction in the brain that apparently acknowledges it and then goes into acceptance mode. Brainwaves 101.

I'll admit I have a challenging time with that process but I believe it. Call it being raised by tough New Englanders or call it my own personal wiring, whatever it is, I am calling uncle this week.  I'm admitting that at times I am so overwhelmed with the energy and my wiring that I want to move to a deserted island and have a volleyball as my best friend. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is the amazing people I have met while being here. Well, that and I don't hunt or cook so the volleyball would outlive me and then be lonely, but I digress. 

So, in the interest of being healthy emotionally and well rounded individuals, I am suggesting we all give ourselves permission to admit when something hurts. A loved one passing, a relationship ending, a failed test, diagnosis or bumping your toe. They hurt. Admit it so the brain can do what it is wired to do and help you move forward. 

Since your brain is willing to do its job, perhaps you can help it. When allowing yourself to feel the pain, be mindful of the time. Be aware when you are choosing to sit in the sadness and are creating an identity as a sad person. Emotions pass through. That is their gift. We are not our emotions. We have them, we are not them. If you can keep this is mind, you can move through whatever is going on and be on to feeling more content.

I practice what I suggest, and assist with Belief Re-patterning, so I know it is possible. I have spent a large portion of the last seven days being aware I have pain yet I am not the pain. I have my humor still. I have an amazing gratitude for life and I have the data to show I have hurt before and came through with amazing growth. I may not be thrilled with the process, but life has shown me that beautiful flowers grow out of fertilizer. Cultivating that trust in the process is the way to handle tough situations with grace. 

Be kind to yourself, be honest and be willing to find your amazement too. I know your brain is wonderful and wants to help you embrace this life process along with your heart and total being. 

Shimmying my way through,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

"Inch by inch, row by row, I'm gonna make this garden growAll it takes is a rake and a hoe and a piece of fertile groundInch by inch, row by row, someone bless these seeds I sowSomeone warm them from below 'til the rain comes tumbling down." David Mallett

Remember these lyrics most known from Peter, Paul and Mary? Inch by inch, row by row? It has a great message doesn't it? Let's take it inch by inch and see what happens. Something is bound to grow from that isn't it? Something is going to spring up, maybe where we least expect it, but something will create a row. 

As I write this another song comes on the radio that is about growing. The Rose sung by Bette Midler. It seems the universe is conspiring to get us to remember seasons and the beauty in the steps of change. A rose doesn't start out as a wonderfully aromatic, appealing to the eye flower. It starts as a seed, perhaps carried by the wind to it's new location or perhaps planted there by a kind hand. Either way it is one that is in darkness for quite a while before it reaches the light and is seen by others. It doesn't give up under the dirt because no one is patting it on the back or validating that it is worth being here. It goes about its process of growth and stretching toward that sun and knowing that the rain is really what will nurture it into the gorgeous being it was meant to be.

Why do you think plants and nature are so patient, resilient and accepting of change and people aren't? Have we forgotten that there really is a plan, one that we put in place long before we were a plan in our parents lives? Have we lost trust in the expansion of ourselves and the pure magic of being here in this realm?

I wonder these kind of things all the time. I wonder why we can't just be in the place of admiration of others and this amazing planet we belong to. Why do we gravitate to the negative and fear place? I know a lot of that is taught and we are good learners, but what if there was a way to change that way of thinking and being and be more like nature where things are not so much questioned but adored?

 Have you ever seen a cat lying in the sunshine? The pure joy that is there to be experienced by even those watching is a miracle in itself but are you stopping to witness these miracles? Are you allowing yourself to be part of the amazing process that is life or are you being carried by whatever wind is blowing in this moment? Do you look at rain as a bad thing and something here to personally piss you off or something that is a blessing, one that is nurturing the rose that is not questioning it's journey, but rather experiencing it?

I know change happens a little at a time. I am quite fond of the expression baby steps make lasting difference. Just like you learned to be in fear, you can learn to be in trust of yourself and this amazing journey you are on. Sure it takes practice but so did learning to walk and you did that!

Take today and look to the beauty in the world. Allow your viewfinder to locate the wonder of how this whole life thing works. Take a little of that personal power back and decide how you want to feel. Embrace the wind but for goodness sake, don't let yourself be a passive passenger on this thing called life. It is too precious to waste on complaining. As we learned in the last post, you can either embrace the fertilizer of life or you can sit in your own stuff. Personally, stinky energies are not attractive to me so I'll be planting things big time this week. Care to join me? You can do it inch by inch, row by row, working at your own speed, but do something that moves you toward the harvest you would like to see in your life. I'm sure your garden is there waiting for you to be a part of it. Will you?

Blissfully impressed with this life process,
Vicki