Last winter I decided that I should probably line a few things up proactively to manage the cold, newly single, inside season. One thing I did was join a local spa that had a great gym (until the best one ever opened at Soules Sports and Fitness;shameless plug here.) and THE best conditioner in the showers ever. A form of community, where no one made eye contact and I could be anonymous while being part of a whole and getting my sweat on. I admit it sounds a bit convoluted now but it worked, for that time.  The other decision I made was to learn how to play the guitar.

The spa was to give myself something away from the challenges of the newly single experience. So I didn't become, shall we say, cranky.  The guitar is something I had tried years, ahem, decades, ago, for about a week. I had taken clarinet and voice lessons for ten years in school so I thought, ok, so I learn a few chords and pluck out a tune or two and feel accomplished in my mature self.

Oh my goodness was I misleading myself. I'm glad I was because it gave me the courage to call Pat, the queen of all patient people, to see if she was brave enough to take me on as a student. She may be reassessing this now, but she said yes. So, the guitar is hard. It is way hard. It is so hard, anyone who plays it should be given moments of silence as we stand in wonder at their abilities. My guitar and I have had words, well, I used words, it just sat there all high and mighty and string like.

It probably doesn't come as a surprise that I have a pretty high drive for anything I attempt. It's how I'm wired. Why go half in? What I had forgotten about those ten years of music is I started out sounding pretty awful. Mom made me practice in the field behind our house if that is any indication of how awful the first few months of woodwind lessons are. (A note to my children; I never made you do that. That should count for something!) So imagine my surprise and utter frustration when I picked up the guitar and started to learn how to make my fingers cooperate in order to produce something that remotely sounded like music.

This is where Pat's patience comes in. She would say, you are rocking it. Good job! I believe her because she is as honest as they come but couldn't help thinking she had lost some of her hearing. So, we kept at it. We have only scratched the proverbial surface of how to play and there are literally more techniques and ways to play it than I can absorb.

The reason for this trip through my, never going to do a world tour as a lead musician, experience is I had an epiphany about the guitar and learning this weekend. I realized that I could go at it with my "I WILL GET THIS!" way or I could relax into it, have fun and be fascinated by the potential of the process. I realized that much like our soul, which is eternal and that means we are never going to get it all done, learning is the same.

How boring would it be to know everything? Or to be able to do something the minute we decided to try. How about if we all admitted we didn't know it all, relaxed into that, allow the process and learn from each other?

It was such a relief to be able to say, ok, I don't know what the heck that fingering chart means (I had it sideways. Which is ridiculously funny to me now.). I don't have some perceived finish line I have to get to and prove that I am a worthy student. I have all the time in the world because the effort I am putting in now may show up as a world tour in my next life. Hey, it could happen!

Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed because you think you should know it all by now? At whatever age your ID says you are? Do you put pressure on yourself to always be prepared to prove that you have value in your intelligence? Ok, stop it. Relax in what you do know and be curious about what you don't. Be patient and give yourself time to learn, grow, expand and develop the muscles needed to live a fantastically, wonderful life.

We are so dynamically different as much as we are similar. People have a lot to teach each other as we have all walked unique paths. Let's start to accept that collectively we are dang smart and learn from each other. I wish for us all to have teachers as patient as Pat, with humor, direction and a willingness to say "I don't know, either" so we can experience the new together.

Rock on, or in my case for this weeks lesson; I wish you a Steady Groove!
Vicki

P.S, Dave, if you are reading this from the other side, I could really use the help with chords. I thank you in advance.

www.vickibaird.com

With all the graduations going on now, it got me thinking. Aren't we always in a state of graduating? Isn't that the experience we call life? A series of steps that lead to another level of learning, growing, application and awareness. Sure there are specific times that are celebrated and should be like when one completes a level of education or training, but life seems to have its own graduation points. Perhaps if we viewed them this way, we wouldn't see this life thing as such a struggle.

For instance, when people come to see me because they are unsure how to handle this next step of life called retirement, I often suggest that they see it as a graduation. As something to celebrate rather than be nervous about all that time that they will have now that they don't work full time. There is another reason I suggest they see it this way; to retire means to rest or withdraw from and I just don't think this is a good way to go into what could be the most fun time of one's life. Besides, some of the people I know who have graduated are busier now then when they worked!

Think about the steps you have taken in your own life that could be seen as a graduation. What about when you decided to move away from home or when you realized the relationship you were in was not serving either of you and you called it over? Or what about the time you made the commitment to your health and started eating more organically or less chips? These are all places where you grew, learned and committed. Go you!

If we accept the idea of a graduated system, we can also appreciate the fact that we didn't get to graduate high school or an equivalent diploma without going through elementary school. Following this idea, perhaps the first time or two, or three that you attempted to eat healthy were your elementary school experience. Perhaps the friendships with people you realized weren't really friends you would like to hang out with were really the middle school field trip where you learned there was more to this world that you would like to explore.

Maybe not knowing what to do with your life and how you will traverse it is the great graduation point of all times. Accepting that we will never really know what we want to be when we grow up, because we are always growing, and learn to be in whatever experience or grade is happening at the time.

We are proud of graduates. We celebrate them. Even throw parties to commemorate the growth. Why can't we do this for every aspect of our life and learn to be appreciative of the ability to be here in this school playground? I'm not saying we have to get an award for everything we do, or a trophy just for showing up. I'm still a little old school on that one, but we can recognize when we've hit a milestone and be willing to be proud of ourselves.

This past week someone close to me said some pretty hurtful things. I'll admit, I carried it with me for a few days and it hit hard enough to draw tears. Then I remembered I have the say over whether I am hurting about another's actions. They show who they are, not me and I can continue to carry it or I can release it and know that moving forward I will know exactly how she thinks of me and graduate out of that middle school program!

What if this week you took an example from all those moving into new areas of their lives and got brave enough to explore where you are graduating now and do it with celebration?

What if....

Off to play Pomp and Circumstance,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...know it all by now? What if that is part of the fun of being here on this planet? Learning and adding to what the brain, soul and mind can do? If you knew it all, where could you possibly expand? Wouldn't that be incredibly boring?

The reason I am asking all of these questions is I hear on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis "I should know this already." Like there is some kind of bar code on our butts that if scanned would say, yup, she has life experience, she should know a, b , c by now. Creative? Sure, but correct? I don't believe so. Somewhere along the line as humans we decided that we have to know it all and act like we don't know anything. It's very confusing isn't it?

When I was growing up my mother used to say to me, "Victoria, don't be so smart. Now go help your sister with her homework." I loved helping with homework so it didn't occur to me at the time what a mixed message that was. My sister is older than I am and quite a few grades ahead of me at the time. (and completely capable of doing her own homework I may add.) I know my mother was attempting to help both of us. I know she had our best interests at heart but perhaps, as most of us when not present, didn't realize what she was teaching at the time.

I have allowed the message to hold me back quite a bit in life. I realize this now and with the help of curiosity and lots of Belief Re-patterning, I am able to see it but not engage in it any longer. I know what I know and I stand confident in my not knowing it all. It's such a free feeling to be able to say, I have no clue, but let me check into that or ask someone who does. It is also a lot of fun to say ooooh, ooooh, I know what to do here!

I would love everyone to stand in their own knowing. To hold their power of greatness and realize that we aren't in competition. What you know adds to what I know and what I know can add to what you know. Let's share and realize that our greatest gift is a love of learning. It also happens to be free and something only you can decide if you use or not. No one else has power over how smart you are unless you give permission to self to believe what they may say about you. Which wouldn't be true anyway would it, if you are the only one who can say how much you know?

So, what if you relaxed about where you are and what you could know by now? Should always brings guilt with it. Could brings choice. You could know more, so learn then but put down the billy club you are beating yourself up with for what you think you do not know.

Be willing to see the patterns in your life and how you allow others to treat you or how you treat yourself. By all means, be aware of where you are limiting yourself and then bust through that limitation and stand in the glory of who you are as a soul. If you need help with this, you know where to find me. I'd love to help with your soul work but I have to say, I won't do your home work for you. Lend you a pencil to do it for yourself? You betcha!

If you find yourself wanting to go to the place of blame around what you "should" know, step away from the drama and ask "what can I learn here?". "How can I be nice to me now and open up to a new way of being?" Be inquisitive and be a teacher to self with compassion and love.

Off to learn more about people and how to help,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

One of the things that can be very challenging for people is not knowing where they are going. Let's be honest, I've based a business on helping people to see their own path. So often, what is right in front of us is the most difficult to see. Sort of, as clear as the nose on our face. Go ahead and focus on that probosis, it's not clear is it?  

For myself, it is easy to see where someone is proverbially stuck or heading in a direction that perhaps they aren't going to love. I am sure this is true of anyone on the outside of a situation but when you know you have a pack to turn to, the answer is much more evident. 

What's a pack? Well, it's what one has around them to support their knowledge and well being. This can be people, a belief system, education, skills, pets or nature. The different elements are as eclectic as people are. What is in my pack, may not be on your pack. That's fantastic because it makes it all the more interesting. Kind of like asking the kid in school at lunchtime what his parent packed him and comparing notes of culinary yummies. Maybe trading if the feeling is mutual. 

My pack has my intuitive abilities, my coaching experience, my business background, my seemingly insatiable need to learn, my current study of Belief Re-patterning, a family that supports me even when they don't understand my perspective and desires. I also have a trainer that kicks my butt and helps me learn how strong I am while always asking "isn't this fun?" It isn't always, but I do laugh so I have humor too. I have music and can carry a tune. I also have two squishy pets that adore me. My pack is quite full. 

I wonder, what is in your pack? Have you taken inventory of it recently? Could you do that this week? 

When I first put the pack on Tank, he pranced around so proud. He felt purpose and was willing to show his pack off. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we all showed off our pack like that? He has what he needs in that pack, including treats! 

I am going to ask you to ask yourself what could be in your pack. Then message me via the website, Facebook or Twitter to share what you came up with. We can have a virtual lunchtime together! I am particularly fond of ginger snaps. In case you are wondering. :) 

Do you know if your pack is full, you can do anything? You can! I've seen it. ;)

Pack shopping,

Vicki