The heart is an amazing thing isn't it? It is responsible for pumping our blood, electrical and functional at the same time, what we consider emotional balance and being the symbol of Valentines day. It has so many jobs and euphemisms in our vocabulary, it's no wonder it gets tired sometimes and has to quit working or short circuit so we will listen to it.

Shortly after the dude croaked I had heart palpitations. I let the Dr know during my visit and after a few fun EKG's, it was determined it might just be stress. Ya think? I made an appointment with my acupuncturist for a reboot and he correctly ascertained I was out of balance in my electrolytes. It seems all the working out, heat and stress I was under took me out of the game a little. I'm happy to say the flutters are less often now and I know what they are connected to and I adjust.

The amazing thing that happened though during the process was I had to look at what was causing some of the pain. I don't believe in saying we have a broken heart because the heart isn't what's hurting, it is the emotional center that resides near the physical heart. I didn't want to create a physical issue because of what was so obviously an emotional one. I also didn't want to alarm anyone so I decided to do the work quietly, which is what I needed anyway. Quiet.

I was really hurting emotionally one day and while walking the dog, where all great epiphanies happen, I thought, what if the pain I am feeling isn't because I "lost" someone I love so much, but what if it was because my heart is so full of his love that the physical body is trying to adjust?  What if when he passed and because he is pure positive love, he was sending infusions of love at levels I wasn't used to? I am very fortunate that as much as I could let Howard push my buttons with his humanness, I always knew I was the love of his life.  A lot of pressure sometimes, but I had that knowing and I am very grateful to have felt that kind of love. Who knew there was more? Holy macaroni! We are impressive as souls aren't we?

This week I have been at a conference for Belief Re-patterning and had the opportunity to attend a Flip Your Switch event in person. Again, I say holy macaroni, because there was so much love, authentic love there I felt that same pain in my chest. Luckily, I know it now and didn't get concerned, until I was trying to run here. The lack of oxygen at this level is impressive for this New Englander. Anyway, love is something I am learning to let show and in. I fully admit I allowed Howard to be the focus and the reflection of my love and without him here, I have to be that and it is a bit foreign. I am really good at showing people I love them through action, but in expression, I have room for improvement.

I am going to work on bringing the event to the Berkshires because we could use the example and man, it was a lot of fun too!

What if you looked at your life and where you thought you had an emptiness, you felt into it and asked is it because you aren't letting in light, love, humor, joy, playfulness, reverence, people, spiritual growth? The list is going to be as diverse as people are so check in there and see what the inventory really is.

What if you weren't afraid to show that you really do care about people, authentically and without reserve? What if that caring started with yourself? Imagine the joy we could create in this world. Brother Sun is a band I love and they have a great song called In The Name of Love. It is about being brave enough to be the person to hold the belief in love being a great force. I hope to be that person one day who exemplifies what honest loving is. Allowing people to be who they are. Wishing them well when they have to leave our lives for whatever reason and using that space to fill up with more love.

Authentic love is one that knows value in all, starting with self, in order to align with what resonates with self. It means, to me anyway, that we don't need to put up with any behavior that is less than. The band also has a song called Jericho Road that states hate is too great a weight to bare. I agree as that is often what causes the heart conditions we see in our world. Holding that pain, hate, anger, less than feeling in blocks the love which clogs the heart. I don't know about you, but I am done being a part of the world that lives in that fear.

One of the things Howard used to say to me is I gave people too many chances to show me who they really are. I agree with him, I've often been hurt because of that but you know what, I'm ok with that because it means at some point someone believed the most in them and I believe that energy travels along with them but if I hold resentment, anger, hurt or hesitancy, that hangs with me. No thank you. I want my heart center beating and emanating to match the love the non physical show us is possible. If I explode in the process, I will blast off and shower the love everywhere!

This is a process (said with the long o after being in Canada for a week!) and I know that. One I am excited to get going on. Would you like to join me in creating a world that shows love as a strength? I certainly hope so.

Loving lifts us up. Let's fly!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had surgery? I hope not, but if you have, one of the bits of advice they give you is to not chase the pain. There is going to be pain. Don't let it get to the point where it is so high that it takes more time for the meds to work. That interferes with healing process and just seems silly. So, if we have figured this out for when a part of us has to be cut into, why haven't we figured this out for the emotional self. These are the types of things I think about on a daily basis. Don't you want to be in my head for a bit?  No?  Ok, fine, then I will share here sort of out loud. :)

Being stressed is the emotional equivalent to physical pain. It also leads to physical pain. When we are stressed our body is under incredible pressure. The stress creates a back pressure that builds up and builds up and eventually has to be released. Often this comes out in temper, tears or frustrating outbursts. Those are the healthy expressions. If not released it becomes organ issues, blood pressure problems, and all the diagnosis that include the word dis-ease.

What I have been wondering is why we let it get to that point? Why do we wait until we are going to explode to communicate what we would like and to make some changes? Why do we wait until the pain is so great that we can't even articulate the issue?

There is going to be pain. There is no way around that in this lifetime if you have loved anyone or anything, there is going to be pain. If you have worked your buns off but don't get the promotion, there is going to be pain. If you stub your toe, there is going to be pain. We spend so much time avoiding the conversations that are painful that we eventually end up having them in very ineffective ways that usually include yelling, crying or walking out in temper. The other way we handle it is to cover it up with numbing agents be it drugs, food, prescription meds etc.

Why not treat it proactively as in pain control? You don't have to take a narcotic, you can do deep breathing, you can use oils or any of the other ways to decrease pain. You don't have to numb out to handle pain but it would be great to be able to say, hey, I may have a little pain in this life. I may want to develop the skills to manage that pain so should it show up I am not dealing with the issue, in pain and looking for the skill to shift at the same time while posting to social media.

What if you added a few of these to your tool kit of pain management?

• Increased your communication skills so you can talk about what you are experiencing so you can ask for help if necessary. I am suggesting communication, not getting lost in your story!
• Developed the mechanism to recognize you are building up some steam and it would be a good idea to release it before your whistle goes off.
• Used techniques like breathing, Belief re-patterning, therapy, EFT, tapping or kick boxing.
• Evaluated how you felt so you would know if you were building up or maintaining.
• Were willing to admit you may not know it all, don't want to be it all or carry it all. Courage, it takes courage, but you have it. I know you do.
• Were willing to drop the drama (along with that will go a lot of pressure, trust me) and address whatever is going on from a calm and collected place.
• Were able to ask yourself "is this true or is this something I have embellished to create pain?".

There are as many different ways to handle pain as there are people in this world. We have to be willing to get in front of the issue and decrease the pressure so we can come to solutions that are supportive. I truly believe that someone who hurts another is one who is hurt themselves. It doesn't excuse hurting another, but if we could create an environment where expressing that hurt and being willing to release it was acceptable, more people would depressurize and we wouldn't have so much illness or conflict. How great would that be?

What can you do this week to recognize your own pain level and take steps to alleviate, without creating drama or sitting in it, that pain? What could you do to support your desire to be here and living a life that, while may have an occasional hiccup, is a pretty darn good ride?  You have to be willing to do your own work. Don't look for another to do it for you or both will end up hurt and the one willing to see the pain, will be the one walking away.

Be brave and be good to you!

Looking under my own hood,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I have seen people in some of the most vulnerable places in their lives. They are hurting and seeking the miracle cure for the pain. This is sometimes physical, but most often it is emotional. To me, they are one and the same. When the emotional self is hurting, the body tends to follow suit very quickly. There is an energy pattern that shows up as a small vibration and if the situation is not addressed and released, it becomes a physical manifestation. Louise Hay wrote the pioneer book on this in her, You Can Heal Your Life. I love this book and have given dozens of copies away when someone is experiencing a diagnosis and interested in shifting the energy.

My first inclination used to be to solve the situation for them. I have come to realize that is not possible, nor is it helpful to them. My role is to point out the discord and hopefully, help bring things into alignment so healing can happen on all levels be it emotional, physical, spiritual or mental. We all have the ability to solve our own pain. First, we have to be willing to see we are not the pain. Yes, we may be experiencing a message from our brains that there is pain, but we are not the pain. If we can become the observer of that pain, we can then take the next step in relieving it. Of course, if something is bleeding, get medical help!

People close to me used to say I was not feeling or didn't care when someone was in pain when the opposite is true. I was feeling it at levels often deeper than the person themselves were, I just was not the one who could make the decision to do anything about it. We can't change someone else and we can't heal someone else. We can be the bringer of information and we can be the hugger, but the healing is up to the person themselves. This takes an incredible amount of strength to stand back and allow the other to find their direction and their own clarity. Do you have that strength? Are you developing it? I recommend a lot of deep breaths and reminders that it is their path to help you learn to observe.

I decided a few years back that I wasn't going to be afraid of pain any longer. I was going to be inquisitive and I was going to delve into what was hurting so I could release it and be lighter, in energy and body. Most often it is a story anyway, and not the truth at the time, but rather something we have learned to carry around. Even asking what is the pain here to teach me, can relieve it a bit.

How often have you looked at your own stuff through a filter or fingers over your eyes? I know I have and still do on occasion. This isn't about being perfect and without pain. This is about recognizing I can make a choice about the level of pain I am experiencing. Knowledge is power and the more I know about me, with all my nooks and crannies, the better life I will create.

Do you want a better life? Would you like to be able to face whatever comes up in your internal closet and decide whether to keep it, donate or chuck it in the garbage? I'll be posting classes to help you on this journey and to build that tool kit soon. In the meantime, start observing the space that separates you from the pain. Become conscious that there is even a space to be had. No, it isn't easy, but it is so worth the effort.

Learning this life thing a bit at at time,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com