Have you ever searched and searched for something, like your car keys, and can't find them anywhere only to return to the place you originally started, and there they are? I did this recently looking for a receipt. I am ridiculously organized. It is an energy thing. I work best when items have a home and are available when I need them. So, when I couldn't find a receipt that should have been in the items to be entered into quickbooks (Yes, there is a home for things before they go to their permanent home, a bit like a layover in a cross country flight.)  I was quite confused by my own doings and a bit bummed the system didn't work. I quickly got over this when my humor returned and I realized it's a receipt, Vicki, simply a receipt.

As my head works, I wondered why I got so twisted up by this experience and came to the conclusion it was because of the search not necessarily that I couldn't find the receipt. I have trust in my systems so even if the paper wasn't there, I would eventually be able to reprint it and the world would be good again. In my rushing though, I got caught up in, but, "I have to find it!"

What I forgot was we don't need to find anything; what we need is already right there. In the case of a physical objects, often they are right in front of our faces and we can't see them because the worry acts like a smoke screen making it virtually impossible to see what we were looking for in the first place. What are we so worried about? Well, that is different for everyone but most often it is the belief and false sense of security that if the external item can validate me, I am ok. If I find what I was looking for, phew, all is well with my world. If that person likes me, I must be lovable. If I make a certain amount of money, I have value.

That is a lot of pressure to place on one little receipt, car keys, savings account, boyfriend, boss and whatever else may be on the list.

What may be on your list that is offering up that tease of when you find it, you will then be happy, fit, gorgeous, rich, calm etc? There isn't anything external that is going to give you that feeling. It must come from within and while that may seem daunting, it can really be an amazing process to realize the power comes from you and that means no one can take it away nor can they offer it up. Sure, it feels good to have those things in your life and to love another, but the feeling still isn't coming from that or them, it comes from you. How cool is that?

For me it wasn't the receipt being missing it was the feeling that I had failed at something. Now, I didn't know that immediately. I had to be willing to take the time and be curious about what I was feeling in order to have the awareness that something was amiss here. Once I allowed myself to do that, the humor and acceptance returned.

So, what if you took the energy that goes into looking outside of yourself and if you must still be in the practice of "finding" something, you find you? It isn't necessary to rent a billboard to tell others you are doing it, besides, that would be looking outside of you again for validation. Instead, take a nice deep breathe in through the nose and out the mouth to center yourself, be brave and say, "what is really going on here and how can I support me in understanding what I need?"

Whatever method you use to get to know you, congratulations. Along the path, remind yourself that when you are feeling like you want to find out who you are; keep it an internal process and perhaps use this acronym First I Notice Details. Notice what it is that make you unique and be brave as you discover what can stay and what you would like to release.

This life thing doesn't come with a map as far as I have been able to tell but we do come with our own personal GPS. Use yours!

Off I go a wondering,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had that feeling that things in life are coming into alignment and perhaps achieving a place of flow? After a fleeting moment of, oh man, this is cool, there is the feeling of, what next? Perhaps wondering what was going to go wrong that would upset the peace? Or if you are like I am, really curious about this place in the middle that isn't the old, but not quite the new, sometimes referred to as the ever elusive present.

I was describing this to my coach and wondering if I am procrastinating or starting to create a habit of avoidance when I realized, with her help, holy macaroni, it isn't so much about productivity as much as it about how I've lived my life up until now and how a lot of us live our lives. I realized that up until very recently, no matter how much I meditate or intend to be present, I had been living my life with the feeling there was a hot poker at my bum (cleaned up for the newsletter company who doesn't like me to swear) pushing me along.

This poker has changed over time, raising kids, career, financial obligations, soul pursuits, relationships, you name it, there are a lot of pokers. It was living in survival mode. I don't know about you, but I am so done with that way of living. Branding ourselves with the poker, calling it motivation or havetogetitdone syndrome, either way, it is pushing us to the point of stress, competition and total crappy experiences.

I believe there is a difference between the feeling of pressure and the feeling of inspiration. Sometimes we feel pulled or pushed in a particular direction but it feels really good. That to me is inspiration. Some part of our soul talking to us and saying "hey, this would be really great if you could get your stuff together and see your way to putting something into action." Pressure rarely feels good, except in a massage. :)

I realized, that the poker feeling is an external one. One that often includes other people or obligations. While inspiration, comes from an internal place. Perhaps part of the journey for us is to be able to recognize this and shift the GPS to our own internal process.

So, is there anywhere in your life where you are living from a place of havetogetthisdone? Where the push on your own bum is one of practice being in the stress of life rather than the joy of it? Or where the poker is being applied by others and you are allowing it to be applied.

I don't know about you, but my intention from the writing of this, at this very moment, is to start using that internal inspiration to be the driving force of what I would like in my life, how I will help others, and what I will bring to the universe. We all have a unique perspective, a special branding , it's time we allowed this to show.

So do you want to join me? Do you want to be in this place called the present and use it to become aware of what your branding is? I think it's pretty exciting.

You can ask for help. Some of my most brilliant moments lately are coming from working with my coach who is also a therapist and totally gets my wiring. If that's not a brilliant manifestation on my part, I don't know what is. Ask for help, seek information, start sketching your own brand. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

Let's use excitement about what could be in front of us as the inspiration and leave the red hot pokers in the past.

Heading off to design my own tattoo as that is the only external branding I will allow. 😍

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com