If you've been following the blog for the last few weeks, you know I have taken you through the first few steps of the Belief Re-patterning process; forgiveness, permission and choice. In each of these steps one releases, moves forward and begins to act with intention.

The next stage of the process is the Freedom place. This is a fun place for me because it is where we get to try on what the new belief systems being introduced are. I love action and this technique is so based in feeling that the actions garner immediate results. I also love results. Who doesn't love a good return of data?

When was the last time you actually realized you were free to think, be, and feel whatever you wanted?  Sure, we claim that we can because we are in a free country but most of us hide from our feelings so we never really feel completely open to explore what might be the most amazing place of all... our own potential.

I have said before that the Belief Re-patterning that I became certified in via Suze Casey, the developer of the process, added a tool to my kit that allowed me to be completely present when Howard was going through his last tour of Baystate Hospital. When the nurses and doctors asked me how I could be so calm, I told them I front loaded with the process so my brain was ready and able to handle the information I was receiving and my emotions were grounded enough that I could understand the magnitude of the situation without needing a room myself. That and my daily run through the hood allowed me to be my best self when he needed me to be and to continue it afterwards when I needed me to be.

It has been six months since Howard passed. Six months! That both flew by and feels like it's been years. While I have my moments and man, do I miss my friend, I am upright and taking nourishment as he would say when asked how he was, and I am doing quite well.  I KNOW it has to do with the pathways I created in my brain to support my emotions through this process. That is why I get so excited about it and want everyone to do it and use it in their own lives so maybe, just maybe, we can have peace within and then have that extend out.

Someone said to me today that I was so brave to go through this. Me not having much of an edit button lately, said, well, what other choice do I have? I can't bring him back and wouldn't even if I could, because it is his journey to take. Then I quickly said, you know what? I do have a choice. I could have fallen apart and stayed in my own hurt and disbelief and created a great big bowl of poor me soup, but I didn't. That isn't really my personality anyway, but I was able to act otherwise because I knew on some level that I have a choice in how I feel and I opt to exercise the choice of feeling appreciative.

I am free to feel these things. I am free to recognize the love I was blessed to have and even to know the frustration of being with someone who didn't want to be in this realm anymore.

In the freedom stage of Belief Re-patterning we are able to feel the power of who we are and to try on a little bit more of the self-support it can take to be human. We are free to feel the possibility of life and add that to our own potential for a very successful combination.

There is energy in everything and when I work with a client they will often say at this stage they can feel their energy rising up and practically vibrating. As someone who lives being able to discern all of the vibrations in the universe, that makes me absolutely giddy for others to feel.

Think about your own life right now. Is there some area that you know is not how you would like it to be but you are confused about how to shift it? Or, can you see the possibility but can't get out of your own proverbial way? Then you would love the freedom place. Well, you would most likely appreciate all the other steps too but, freedom would have you feeling amazing. So, let's say it is about your work life that you would like to improve, we may progress this way:
  • "I forgive myself for believing I have to remain in a position that does not support me any longer." 
  • "I give myself permission to release _________" (whatever emotion is keeping you feeling stuck). 
  • "I can choose to stay in the ______ place or I can choose to be excited about new possibilities. I choose to be excited."
  • "I am free to explore the idea of a job that supports me financially, emotionally and spiritually." 
We may use a few more statements in each stage, but this will give you an idea of how it may progress. There are two more steps after this one that affirm and support the new beliefs being created. 

Wouldn't you love to have a method that supports you and creates a calm, supportive way of being?  I would love for you to have that. You are free to have that, I promise. 

I am free to believe you rock, 
Vicki


Given that my blog comes out on Sunday's I could go with the obvious topic of love on Valentine's day but I am making a choice not to. It isn't because I am jaded or don't believe in love, quite the opposite, I believe there is love in everything, however, I don't believe giving it attention one day makes it authentic.

When I realized I was choosing to write about something other than retail love, I decided it was a good time to introduce choice in the Belief Re-patterning I offer.  There are six amazing steps to the Belief Re-patterning technique and all are equally effective but choice is my favorite. Don't tell the others.

Don't get me wrong, forgiveness, where we learn to release the past and permission where we start to develop courage are fantastic, but choice, where we start making conscious decisions is so empowering, I can't help but love the little bugger.

We all have that voice in our head with the not so complimentary vocabulary. This inner critic, as it is often called, is revealed every day to us. It chatters and offers its opinion even when we don't want it. Wouldn't you love to hear the voice that supports you and encourages growth? The choice place does that. Using the statements offered and breathing deep, one creates a new pathway in the brain that can become the default program rather than the previous critic one. A coach on board so to speak.

Think about it in terms of the holiday in the states this weekend. We could choose to be bitter about such an obvious ploy to raise poor sales in February or we could choose to feel grateful that we are are talking about love in the first place. That and the discounted candy after the fact are amazing perks! By utilizing choice in our life, we realize we do have a power in our happiness. By using it in Belief Re-patterning, we create a pathway to be used in every area of our lives.

I believe in what I call front loading, getting in there and creating new pathways in the brain before we are in any state of panic or confusion. The technique is fantastic when one is in those places, but if you do it before, you will have it when life happens. Now that is an act of self love. (ok, I had to get it in there somewhere, you know I did.)

So, if there was an area of your life or a message playing in your head that you would like to release, what would it be? Be honest. What isn't lining up any longer for you. Being dissatisfied isn't a permanent state. It's a way for your soul to communicate to your human self that there is more to life then settling for listening to that voice of less than.

 If you could choose, and you can, to shift it and live with a supportive voice in your head, why wouldn't you?  So, this Sunday, after you eat some full price chocolate, have a chat with self and decide if you are ready to invest in you.

Love the love that is you,
Vicki



We have an amazing ability as humans. We have the ability to choose how we want to experience life. We have wonderful cognitive and emotional abilities that are meant to support us along this ride of life. Unfortunately, we often forget that we have these tools and fail to use them. Perhaps we were never told we had them to use!

I believe my emotions are how my soul speaks to me. This took me many moons to figure out, but once I did, I listen, most of the time. A work in process. All emotions are valid and if we give ourselves permission to experience them, life finds a balance.

One of the steps in Belief Re-patterning is to use permission. Last week forgiveness, a process to letting go of pain and the charge associated to old patterns, began the technique. This week, permission, helps one to move past the ways they may be acting or perceiving themselves. This is where consciously creating supportive emotions begins to happen. Consciously choosing emotions allows the brain to be calm and in time, respond with these emotions as the go to place. Emotions are neither bad nor good, they simply are, but that doesn't mean we can't improve on them and feel good in this life we are living.

During Belief Re-patterning sessions, I guide you through statements and breathing to release beliefs and emotions that are not supporting and to bring in those that are supportive. You get to take the supportive ones with you!  Isn't that great!

What do you feel you would like to give yourself permission to experience?  Permission is about moving forward and creating a life you would like to live in.
  • Do you want to give yourself permission to love you?
  • Could you give yourself permission to feel calm? Learn how to not react? To enjoy life?
  • What if you gave yourself permission to learn a new technique to bring that calmness and love to your life?
Giving yourself permission is such a loving thing to do. Most of us don't take the time to look at what isn't feeling good and needs to shift. For some reason, a lot of the people I work with are afraid to even admit things aren't as great as they could be. Like there is some award or punishment if they looked within and admitted they wanted more. Want more!  Please!

For this week, when you bump up against an emotion that doesn't feel like it supports you, look at it in the eye, be kind and then give yourself permission to release that emotion.   Start there and let me know how you do.

I give myself permission to rock this technique,
Vicki
We don't forgive others to free them, we do it to free ourselves. This week I found myself saying to Howard, "I forgive you for leaving me." It came out of the blue as I was cleaning the kitchen. Just popped right out of my mouth. It must have been ready for awhile in order to come out without thought. I immediately felt a lightness and realized the resentment I had been holding. I know he didn't go anywhere as a soul is concerned, but I promise you, he isn't cleaning the kitchen, walking the silly dog, balancing the budget, oh wait, he never did that, but he did participate in other areas and he was a physical presence that isn't there now.

Anyway, recognizing that my heart was ready to help my brain vocalize made for a pretty peaceful day. 

There are many ways we are hurt by being in relationships with others, including our pets and the world. It's easy to point a finger and say it's all about the other person but we play here too on this planet, so we have to start taking responsibility for our emotions. We have to start honoring the relationship we have with ourselves. 

One way we can feel hurt by others actions is when they leave us.  Perhaps they move out, croak, stop communicating or are ill and need to be in a facility.  Another way is emotional. Someone who is not available to their own emotions can't connect with others and that creates distance.

There can be a spiritual difference between people where it feels like someone has left. We experienced this in our marriage quite a few times. There were times where I just couldn't tolerate where Howard was in his energy and then how he connected his emotions to that. This wasn't on Howard. This was for me to figure out and communicate; or leave. 

We can't insist someone grow at the level that we would like them to.  Some people will try insisting, but the effectiveness isn't there. Each of us has to grow and want to grow at our own pace and it's none of our business if the other isn't interested in what we think. That is their right as well. 

We have been taught that if we feel hurt by someone they are automatically the bad guy or girl. Blame doesn't help in any situation. Forgiveness does. The forgiveness is often around how we think of ourselves as a result of someone's actions. Am I not lovable? Don't I deserve happiness? What's wrong with me that they left? I hear this on a weekly basis from clients and while my empathetic heart strings get pulled, I know it is their brain giving them these messages rather than their heart or soul. 

This is one of the reasons I love using the Belief Re-patterning in my business. This is exactly the type of thinking and belief systems that can be re-wired and adjusted to create a supportive message in the brain. 

This year you will hear a lot about the Belief Re-patterning because EVERYONE deserves to feel good about themselves and I intend to blast that message. Belief Re-patterning is a technique that combines statements and breathing to help create new neural pathways in the brain therefore helping us to live happy and supportive lives. Forgiveness is one of the steps in the process. I know it is the reason that I'm able to walk through the experiences of the last six months with my sanity intact and in appreciation for the process. It is also exactly why I was able to say to Howard that I forgive him for leaving me because it wasn't his leaving that was hurting, it was my belief that he chose to go without me.  I followed it up with a statement of choice in how I could see him as leaving me or how I could see him as completing his journey. I choose to see him completing his journey. This helps my brain and heart move forward. It what I truly believe, but my subconscious was a bit stuck.  It is not now. :)

So, if there's a place within your brain and heart where forgiveness lives and it could use some help in applying itself, without torture, give me a call.

I am free to believe I am right where I am meant to be. I plan to rock this year. I hope you will join me,

Vicki





I have had the privilege of being part of three incredible men's passing in these last ten months. While that may seem like an odd statement to make, it is alas, my life at the moment. It is their path, more importantly and something that makes me think and appreciate whatever I did in my life that allowed me to be in their presence.

When I was talking with the friend who is doing his transition as I write this, I asked him if he knew he was doing the hardest thing in his life thus far. He was facing his mortality but he was also being asked to trust that it was all going to be ok.  He gave me one of his chuckles and a look that I've come to read as "Vicki, I like you, but you are one weird duck."  He said to me last week that I ask hard questions and I could stop that now. I love honesty... and hard questions.

Even if he didn't completely believe it, spiritually, he was letting go and doing the path we will all do one day. It was as he told me how much he was going to miss that he also realized how much he had lived. I won't even try to describe the beauty that was in his face and being when he got that. I don't have words for it. Language doesn't have a description for it.

I am always amazed by the human spirit and the strength we all have. These three men have shown me strength in ways I wish I had seen before a disease process made it necessary. All three guys were quiet, loving, perhaps had challenges with communication, yet funny men. At least I thought they were funny. All three have had profound effects on my life by being themselves. By doing the best they could through this process we call life. All three said the same thing to me during our chats during transition; I hope I told the people in my life I loved them enough. Usually followed with; I don't think I did. Now, I was married to one and know he said I love you a lot so his I was able to assure he had done well. The other two and I weren't exactly in that place of expression until the end of their physical life so I can't say for sure if they said but I know with my entire being that they showed it. I assured them they did by witnessing how many people loved them back.

Can I tell you that the three dudes were in incredibly, mind blowingly high pain, and this was their concern. Did they express that they loved and appreciated the people in their life. The strength it takes to wonder that when your entire being is shutting down rocks my world. I'm not sure I would be that strong. I'm not sure, with who I am today, that I would be wondering that. This is where the major impact comes in. I don't want to be wondering that. I know these guys were doing their process but I am a good student and pay attention to the messages coming at me, especially when it is in threes!

What if we all benefit from these three regular dudes and their willingness to answer the tough questions, not only mine, but of their soul? Let's learn from them and gather our strength to show those we have in our lives that we love and appreciate them. Let's decide that showing we care is a great strength and have the vulnerability they showed, be theirs. I know I wondered after Howard passed if he knew how much I loved him. I could see where I was creating issues for myself because it was obvious I did, but really, only because of the last three years of twenty seven did I have that assurance. Had he passed before that, I know it would have bugged me longer because before then it was hard for me show as deeply as I did, even him, that I loved him. We all have this capacity to wonder and my hope is that even if you don't know my amigos, you learn as well from their courage in talking with me and my open book life policy. :)

I know it can be scary to tell someone how much you care, but take the leap and realize even if they don't love you as much, you just checked off the most questioned item by those who are crossing and that is fantastic.

To the guys that have been such a huge part of my life, I love you infinitely and let's remember your promise not to scare me when you pop in to visit!

Learning to express my greatest self with love,
Vicki


The first day of the year is a fascinating specimen isn't it? It is both a day of revolution and of reflecting. We've made our way around the sun and have seen another year of how life revolves. I, for one, am a little road weary while remaining grateful that I am here to experience who I am at this moment.

I say at this moment because it really does change from moment to moment. I meet with so many people who are focused on who they want to be and who are running from who they perceive themselves to be. Rarely is someone present enough to be who they are in that moment. Of course we are a compilation of all of our experiences but does that mean we have to carry all that stuff with us everywhere and either be stuck in it or running from it?

Reflection is great and I do believe a great tool for each of us to use, but if you are staring in the mirror with the intent of finding all the issues, I promise you, you will find them and only them. Reflections can be altered by the surface in which you are using to see yourself. Consider a calm lake; if someone throws a rock in and it creates a ripple, there is no longer a flat surface to observe ourselves. Life has ripples. It has some pretty amazing waves sometimes and we can't always reflect in the same place we are when we experience the ripples.

I know I did a fantastic job being present for Howard during his transition journey. I KNOW it, but yet there are times when I question if he knew how much I love him and was I my best self during that time or any time in our marriage for that matter. I know this is part of my process and while I am not always a fan of the feelings, I embrace the fact that I enjoy reflection and am so grateful to be able to realize that if I'm reflecting on something that happened even yesterday, I am looking at it from the place of having dropped the pebble in to create a ripple. I can't ever recreate the situation as it was. I can't have the clear reflection of the moment back. It has passed so I have to be willing to appreciate that I did the best I could with what I had at the time.

This is a challenge for many people. I often have to suggest they leave the billy club that they beat themselves up with in my office and not take it with them any longer. We can't ever go back to where we were. No one else can either so stop expecting them to know how you felt yesterday, last week or a year ago. Get in the game and evolve as we revolve. We can use our lives as mirrors but if we are going to abuse the mirror or criticize it, it will never be a helpful tool.
  • What if for this year you reflected on the ripples you experienced this last year and how you could appreciate yourself for being there?
  • What if for this year you set the intention of using your personal mirror as a tool to see what you do WELL and how you can enhance that?
  • What if for this year you allowed your reflection to show the amazing being it sees whether calm or with ripples?
  • What if you accepted that your presence in this life is a gift and reflecting your greatness is what you can gift back?
  • What if, just what if, we showed up in the moment, present and willing to see the beauty in each of us? Can you imagine?
I intend for this year to leave my own billy club by the door and not take it with me any longer. As I was preparing the attached info to help you create your own great 2016, I found pictures Howard took on the last trip we made together two weeks before he went in the hospital. At first it was a big ole ripple and hard to look at but then I found a picture he took of me kayaking. I probably should have expected him to be there with the camera but I was in my own world and so present I didn't see him on the dock.

There is a series of pictures of my concentrating on my approach ( I am not known for my grace in paddling into docking stations!). As I looked through the pictures my critic wanted to chime in on how they weren't good pictures, but then I saw the one where I realized he was taking pictures. The look on my face as I realize it's him shows how much I love him and am happy to see him. It is at this moment that I realized if he didn't know how much I loved him at that moment, then he wasn't present and as observant as I gave him credit for and there isn't anything I can do about that now. It was really freeing to have that, thank you Howard and my guides for reflecting in pictures what the greatest meaning of the word can be; showing each other our light and love.


Let's set the intention to show this love this year, for self and then radiate it out. So much so that next year when we reflect we will have to wear shades!

I'm going to get a bigger mirror,
Vicki

Now for some manifesting fun:

The New Year is a great time to affirm what you want to bring into your life and your path. As the year shifts, it allows us an opportunity to focus on our own shifts.

This year encourages us to fly, to use our intuition and to create out of the greatest possibility. Does it get any better? So, I intend for you a year of manifestations that bring all that you feel is in your highest interest. I encourage you to keep in mind to be mindful of what you ask for as you may just get it. Luckily, the stages and shifting of energy continue so we get to do it many times all year!

You can't do anything wrong with the process below so have fun and dream well. 

You may want to print this out, just a thought.

1) Write out a list, (write it out so it has your energy attached) of all those things that you would like to be done with. This can be literal such as clutter in the home, a person in your life, weight, sadness, whatever you would like to not have in your life anymore, write it down.

2) Take this list and wrap it with a red ribbon, yes yarn will work too, any shade of red. Put it aside.

3) Now, take a deep breath and center back in and write all those things or experiences that you would like to bring into your life, such as financial abundance, love, travel, fun etc. Whatever makes your heart sing and roll that up and wrap it with a red ribbon. (Red ribbon is not necessary but does amp it up.)

4) You will take these lists outside, to keep the energy out of your house and to send into the universe, and starting with the one where you let go, burn it, being safe to catch the ashes in a fireproof object. When it completely burns out and there are no embers, blow the ashes out into the universe wishing them well and feeling lighter because you have released all that stuff you have been carrying.

5) Now, take the other list, the one you are wanting to bring to you and burn that as well. You are following up with positive energy and a statement to the universe that you trust. Even if you feel this is silly, it will still work so no worries. Repeat the part about blowing it out into the universe and then take a moment to "see" your life as it will be.

6) Remember to say thank you before going back inside, to the universe but also to yourself for participating in your own journey.

Kids love this ceremony, yup probably because they get to burn things, but also because it makes sense to their energy so have them do the above mentioned process as well. Just be sure to respect their privacy and allow them to write whatever they would like. Teaching them it is ok to ask is a great thing too!

Be safe in your burning and let the manifesting begin!

People are amazing. The expressions of caring I have received over the last four months has been beyond my comprehension at times. I am truly blessed by the relationships I have cultivated even when I wasn't aware I was doing it.

Someone, well-meaning I am sure, said to me "It must be so hard to go through this and be upright every day."  Maybe my matter of fact energy was working overtime that day or I was simply tired of the sympathetic responses, but I came back with "No, not really. This is life and life is different now, but that is part of the discovery, isn't it?"

I appreciated her concern but if you've ever gone through an experience where people have to process their own emotions, i.e. someone passing, job loss, diagnosis, house on fire, dog died, etc., you know how tiring it can be to process that over and over again with the people in your life. Sympathy, to me, always comes from someone working through their stuff and usually has an "oh, that's so sad, heartbreaking, troubling, etc.", whereas empathy comes from "Hey, I've been there, I understand and I support your process."

This is life people. Change happens; every day. Get used to it and stop taking it so personally. See the adventure in it and what you could discover about yourself and how you handle change. That is a good indication of where your emotional health is. Go to sympathy or anger with news and you may have a lot of self-work to do, also called discovery.  If you are able to be in empathy and realize whatever is going on isn't happening to you but you can help and support if you want to, good for you.

If it is happening to you, pay attention to how you walk through the experience. All emotions are valid but we have a choice of how long we remain in each.

This part of my life is hard, it is very freaking hard, but being reminded it MUST be hard does not help. My choice is to recognize it is, and to honor those feelings, then move on because....this is life. Perhaps I have said that before.

Guess what else is changing? The year. We are heading into 2016 where as I have stated before, it is a time to fly. Whatever flight means to you, at whatever height, and whatever speed. Let's stop comparing ourselves to others this year as well. Wouldn't that be refreshing?  Wouldn't it be nice to be you in whatever form that is and appreciate yourself for it? If there is one thing I have learned emphatically this year it is that there is no time for the pretending to be other than who I am. I choose to be me and see how high I can fly.

Care to join me?

Up, up and away,
Vicki


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