It seems to be a very nostalgic time right now. People are doing a lot of self review. I LOVE it. I believe that one of the best ways to have an amazing life is to be willing to look at, but not sit in, our stuff. I see it as a personal treasure hunt, sort of like the geocaching people are doing. You may find a gem one time or a piece of costume jewelry, but there is always something of value if you are willing to look. The journey to the location is often the valuable part!
When we use the rear view mirror to look behind us as our past, it can be fantastic. Keeping in mind the rear view mirror is smaller than the windshield for a reason. It isn't necessary to spend tons of time looking back there, but checking keeps us feeling safe and aware of our surroundings. I'll be the first to say, let's move forward from here and let the past be where it is and yet I know how challenging that can be.
I see so many people caught up in what happened, what they got, what they didn't get in relationships or what others got that they wanted. Perhaps too focused on what someone else did or didn't do. We are a complete compilation of our past experiences but we aren't them so to hang onto them waiting for them to be reconciled or corrected is a bit like chasing your own tail, you may catch it but it's going to hurt when you bite it!
I feel like there is a center ground in all of this. I truly believe we can learn to honor the past without allowing it be be an excuse for today. Now, I am not a therapist and I am very clear to say this to people, and I'm not suggesting we just "get over" whatever has happened. I am suggesting we look at our past and be freaking proud of ourselves for where we are today. Let's be honest, if you are hanging onto what someone else did or didn't do, they aren't the ones that are suffering, you are, so then does that make any sense to keep doing it? Sort of like sticking your finger in an outlet over and over again expecting not to get shocked when the electricity hasn't been shut off.
You have the ability to take the charge out of whatever the experience was and to stop shocking your electrical system over and over by remembering the injustice of it all. Perhaps this is through self care, Belief Re-patterning or similar techniques or therapy itself. Each person will have a different way of honoring the journey. For me it is combination of the re-patterning, quiet time and exercise. You may have to find your own combination. Be willing to do that for yourself.
So ask yourself:
- Am I holding onto something that is no longer serving me?
- Am I doing it to have an excuse not to move forward?
- Can I be compassionate with self enough to release the need to hold this?
- Am I ready to give myself permission to live without a rear view mirror as my guide?
Be kind when asking the questions and be honest. It isn't worth the time to ask if you are going to lie to yourself. The potential for great joy of life is there in any persons life if they are brave enough to let go of the excuses. If they are brave enough to use the past as a way to reveal their greatness.
Want to join me in the, "I am grateful for the experiences life has brought me and I rock this lifetime with intention of using them to propel me forward" movement? We may need a shorter slogan but this will work for now.
Utilizing my past as a diving board,
Vicki
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