I've been thinking about this a lot for the last few years. It doesn't consume me or anything, more like a lingering thought that circles around so often that you think, perhaps I should look at this! The this is our challenge with being alone in this time in our existence. I'm grateful for the wondering about it because it gave me the idea that I would benefit from getting good with my own company. It also made me realize the falsehood we are fed that as long as we have someone, people, companions, partners, a goldfish; we are good to go. Well, life has shown me otherwise this year and I am thankful.

I'll tell you why I am thankful. I have realized that we are always alone and that is freaking exciting to me. This isn't meant to depress you, and if it does, well, you may want to look at if you like your own company, truly like it. It is meant to empower and maybe bring some relief because I believe we all feel this on some level and aren't willing to speak of it. That suppressed energy creates anxiety. I'm not a fan of anxiety, so give me a task that can help me to not feel that and I am all over it!

Yes, we come in through someone’s uterus, but we are essentially a soul borrowing a human form while trying to balance all that goes with that job. That soul, even though connected to so many, far beyond what we can even comprehend, is still alone. It has decided to do a journey (sorry Phil, I had to use the word. He's not a big fan. :)). In this journey, it has committed to learning as much as it can while aligning with its intention to serve in some capacity on this planet. Call me silly but that makes me so stinking excited. Somewhere in all the infinite intelligence in the universe, my soul trusted me to learn how to be my own self in this lifetime and to grasp the concept that while I love having people in my life, they do not make my life. I do.

I see many people in the transition phases of their life. It is what, I am told, I am most gifted at helping people with. We are always in some transition of some type in our lives, but some are noticeably bigger than others. Buying a new pair of shoes is a transition (especially if you run. Holy moly are there a lot of choices!) but this isn't nearly as big a transition as when someone crosses, we get fired, divorced, move, or change direction in life. These transitions in themselves show us that life doesn't stand still and again, even if there is another person involved, the spouse that you are divorcing perhaps, the friend that you no longer align with, the cat that decide that it was complete with all of its nine lives in this lifetime, so many variables and yet; we are still alone in how we are processing the transition.

A friend of mine told me after her former husband passed there was a lot of people around, attention and support and then.....crickets. Silence. I have to tell you, this was some of the best news for me after Howard passed because I longed for my time to myself. I wanted that transition time to be mine so I could further figure out who I was becoming. When I got to the cricket stage, because my life is not others responsibility, they were doing their alone journey, I was sad initially and then remembered, oh yeah! This is what I was looking forward to exploring. I decided to make my crickets an orchestra and allowed them to play the most amazing music ever. They accompanied my joining up with my soul and being peaceful in that.

What happens to you when I suggest that you may be alone on this flight around this lifetime? Does it totally freak you out? It's ok if it does but DO NOT SIT IN THAT FREAK OUT. Recognize that it makes you nervous and perhaps ask why? I promise you, your soul is brilliant in choosing to come into this lifetime to learn this as well. We all did. Hmmm, perhaps in that we are not alone.

What happens when I suggest that even though the person you sign an agreement, license, lease, soul contract with has every right to want to be alone too? What if you step back and rather than seeing them as the person you thought would never leave or change their mind, is a soul doing their journey to alone? Their journey to learning who they are and the time with you has helped, but they must move on to do more of it? Doesn't that feel a little better than the ego rant you've been on about them leaving you, or you not being worthy, yada yada yada?  Plus, it's true. Who are we to say someone must stay to make us feel secure?

Do you know the difference between alone and lonely? Lonely is a sadness created from being apart from others where alone is simply being apart from others. There is a distinction there. They may both be, by definition similar, but one has a deficit to it; lonely. It has the component of sadness. That perhaps our happiness can only come from being with others? If you learn the distinction in what you are feeling, you may just find that alone feels amazing! Did you also know that alone is defined as being without equal or unique according to Webster’s Dictionary? I LOVE that. There is no other you! You are unique and by being alone, and accepting alone to be a good thing, you can learn to really appreciate that.

I wish you a most blessed discovery of your alone space. If you need help navigating that, you know where to find me. I would be happy to help shift the limiting belief system and help you realize the relationship with self is a most precious commodity.

Using some of my alone time to ponder,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Affirmations are wonderful. I love words. So stringing them together in order to create a statement that supports who I am is a win win. The challenge for me, in the past, has been that I didn't always believe what I was saying. Sure, I could read the words that said I was an amazing person, mom, teacher, etc., but I didn't necessarily believe that deep inside. That's a problem because with my rule being go authentically or don't go at all, I couldn't continue to lie to myself.

Imagine my eye rolling when I found out that affirmations were a big part of Belief Re-patterning. Luckily, that didn't last long because I realized we weren't going to say things we didn't believe. We were going to shift the pathways in our brains so that we COULD believe the words being said. Phew, because otherwise I was going to have to skedaddle.

To affirm means to say something is true in a confident way. That can be very challenging when one may be not be aware of what to affirm because their beliefs are in the way. Some beliefs are wonderfully supportive like the affirmation calendars suggest, but some can be downright annoying. These beliefs, which we are taught or shown while in this human process, most of them in childhood, may not necessarily be our own. So how does one figure out how the heck to sort it out? Well, you can come see me and/or you can start listening to how you feel or what you say. These two will give you the affirmation that you are supporting yourself or you may be diminishing self.

I know for me, I couldn't say I was good at anything for the longest time. I am in the process of learning how to promote myself and find it awkward at times but I like teaching my brain new things. The affirmation stage of Belief Re-patterning, the amazing technique for shifting your beliefs from critical to supportive, is one of clarity for many people.

In this stage we are taking the approach of looking back at what we have done well, or a solid footing, to help reinforce the knowledge that you can be a coach to yourself and experience emotions that remind you of your greatness. For instance, I remember when I was scared you know whatless, but I still stepped on stage at the Colonial and did three successful shows. I remember the feeling of euphoria of being on stage and gratitude that all these people were sharing their Sunday's and emotions with me. This helps me to this day when I have to do something that both scares and excites me.

I also like to remind myself in the affirmation stage that I learned to tie my shoes and that seemed like a big deal at the time, so I can learn to do anything today. It really helps to have a specific memory and something you experienced to transfer whatever may be going on now to a state of knowing we are capable.

What have you done in your life that you remember feeling, "Wow, I did that!" or "I remember thinking _________ was going to be hard, and I accomplished it." “I can do _____________ today."

If you can't find something, at the risk of sounding redundant, come see me, you may borrow from someone else in order to propel yourself into a supportive energy. "Josie really goes for what she wants in this life. I am learning to be adventurous like she is." I firmly believe that if we recognize a characteristic in another, we have that same characteristic within us otherwise we wouldn't see it. Be willing to see what you have within and affirm that you can create new pathways to change the perception which will change the habit.

Once we get into the habit of collecting information that substantiates our value and abilities, the brain calms down and the emotional centers get happy. Don't you want happy emotional centers that automatically support you even if life gets bumpy? Then they need to be trained again. It's ok, your soul and mind want to be happy too. They will be willing to help.

For this week, catch yourself doing something that feels good, affirms your abilities or delights you. Reinforce that feeling by saying “I know myself to be ________. I give this gift to me often!"

I am so grateful to all of you for taking the time to read my blog.  It truly affirms what a great community I have all over the world. I am blessed. (Affirmations I believe wholeheartedly.)

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com