and that word is integrity. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I'm not really sure why, but it keeps popping in so I figure it is always a good thing to look at when that happens. Sort of the souls way of getting my attention. That thought that won't leave until I hear it out.

So, integrity to me is living in a way that is honest and to my best intention. It may not always reach gold star status but I go to sleep every night knowing I gave my best that day and whatever needs tweaking, I will look for ways to do so the next day. It may not meet others expectations and that is great too because I am not living in integrity if I am worrying that someone else may not like what I am doing or not doing for them.

Maybe I am a throwback to the decades before but remember when a handshake and your word was what got you credit, land, or a partner? I love that. I love that it takes work, the word grit is in the middle of it for goodness sake, to maintain it and the reward is amazing. Instant character building when you are turned down because you didn't represent well in the past. No masks to hide behind, no credit score or false compliments. The more time I spend on this planet in this lifetime, I crave this honesty.

Some have said I can be too honest with what I think and feel and yes, it can come out without any protective wrapping. I would never want to hurt someone consciously so I have been more mindful about the delivery lately, at least I hope so but don't you just love when there is compete openness and freedom to say whatever one feels with people. This has really shaped my relationships this last year. I choose to be with those that are really active in their own growth. They can move at their own pace, that is fine, but if we are only going to talk about others and what is going on outside of self, I have to be going, thanks for the invite.

Maybe that does sound harsh but ask yourself this, do you want to go to bed every night feeling like you enjoyed your day or lamenting how you will never get that hour back that someone wanted to talk about celebrities or inconsequential subjects? They mean something to you, as each of us have our own interests and I honor that, but I don't have to spend my time with you then if we don't line up. This life is here to be invested in with it's precious commodity of experiences. Shouldn't they be ones that light you up?

I spent quite a bit of my life doing what others wanted me to or being who they wanted me to be. It got me health issues and extra fluff to carry around. It also made me not such a nice person to be with because I wasn't showing how sensitive I was to what they were asking of me. To be someone other than who I am. I reacted so rather than be in that space any longer, integrity with who I am became very important which has lead to wanting the same from others. If that is too tough for those who are in my life, then well, there is the door and I wish you well and lots of ice coffee on the road.

• Is there anywhere in your life where you are not living in integrity with yourself? 
• Are their relationships that you are tolerating whether they are personal, professional or with yourself? 
• Where would you like to improve the experience of your life so you can say you are living in integrity with your own souls path?
• Does whether someone thinks highly of you matter more than what you feel about yourself? Are their feelings more important than your own? 
• Do you allow yourself to tap in and see how you feel before you commit to a date, project, conversation or volunteer action? 
• Have you had a conversation with YOU lately? 

I believe we are all contributing to an energy that is great and if we can be good with ourselves, we will have less strife and issues with others. Won't that be lovely?

What is your word? What message are you receiving lately in the form of repetitive words? Pay attention. There are great clues to your own happiness in that voice inside asking you to hear it.

Word,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com 

If you are reading this, I can say for sure you have had a relationship with others. Whether that relationship is with a partner, a sibling or your banker, it is a relationship and requires all parties' participation.

Relationships are a huge part of why people come in to see me. They can be confusing, can't they? I know I have been baffled by some of the ones in my lifetime at times. I have found most often the most challenging issue is when we try to figure out what the other is thinking, feeling, wanting or perceiving. Why do we do that? Don't we have enough in living our own path without venturing into speculation land? I've been known to suggest someone get a hobby when they spend too much time participating in the act of other person wondering.

Sure, we are connected to others but the time we spend speculating is a vast waste of time because we can't ever really know for sure what is in their minds and hearts unless they know and want to communicate. Here is the really tough part; if they don't want to or don't feel able to communicate it, we best serve the relationship by not taking it personally.  Yeah, I told you it was the tough part!  Respecting what another person wants.  What an advanced concept. I believe we can all do this.

It takes a bit of training of the emotional self to remember to honor that space that is the relationship itself between us and another. That space has a life force of its own. Think about a few people in your life. Now think how different each relationship is. Amazing isn't it, how you are one person but have all these different dynamics in connecting with others?

Have you ever done that? Taken time to look at the space and interactions between you and another? It really is in the best interest of our happiness to do so. That is the participation part I was talking about. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our souls and the others to take the time to consider how we are in this world.

Perhaps you could do that this week. Be in observation of one, how you are in each relationship you have and two, spend some time considering not only the other person but the space between you that becomes the relationship and the life it has there.

You may find that when you do this, you realize that you have grown and want something different in that space. You may realize that you are the one that brings the conflict by spending too much time trying to figure another out and want to change them to suit you.  Hint: this never works. Knock it off.

Regardless of what you observe, if you are honest, there will be a feeling of amazement of what you've learned. Please take this moment and appreciate how much you rock because you were willing to invest yourself. Sometimes the relationship has run its course and is no longer serving either one of you. This is where knowing that it is more than the people involved, can help to let those we don't jive with, go. Release the relationship; respect the person/animal/company while you do so.

As we move into Spring in the northern hemisphere and a time of growth; perhaps this could be the garden you plant this year. 

Happy relationships!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com