Do you like people? I do, I really do. There may be some I choose to be with more than others but people are fun. In this chapter I talked about our individual topography. Who are we in our own fabulous selves? I am so glad this chapter came up this month because just yesterday I said to my theracoach (She's both a therapist and a life coach. How blessed am I?) "I don't know where I stand. Am I single? Am I still married, because it feels like I am. Am I independent? Flying solo? I know I am not a widow because I am not a fan of the word. The spider is fine, but the word is not for me."  I know I am my own person and thankfully we had that kind of relationship where we weren't dependent on each other for air, but what the what, man? Where am I?


Call it practice or knowing myself, but I ended up answering her by saying, I am Vicki and that is all I need to know right now. I will focus on that and allow the other questions to float out into cyberspace to never return, hopefully! I am the only person who can be me and you are the only one who can be you. Isn't that fantastic? 

As you read through this, assess for yourself where you may be entering into another persons topography and establish clear property lines. Believe it or not, when we stand in who we are, relationships get really, really good!

Here is to your IT.....

My IT may not be Your IT, but it’s Still an IT

Everywhere you turn there are people, people who are busy with their lives, people who are ignoring their lives and people who are living their lives to the fullest. I love people in all of these areas, I love people. It may sound corny but it is true. I love the intricacy of people and how creative we are in our expressions. I believe there is an inherent nosiness in us that keeps us looking at others and trying to figure out what they have that we don’t. Call it an innate desire to grow or just plain ole nosiness, it really doesn’t matter; we do it.

Remember that saying “keeping up with the Jones’s”? Well, that is similar to what is inherent in us without the materialism. How much have you learned from someone over your life time? Certainly you learned how to talk, eat, and walk along with a myriad of other skills. Just watch a baby when you are talking with them, they will mimic the lip movements you make, so cute yet so smart. Yet, somewhere in the path it starts to go the other way, where we look to others and compare. I know you do it, we all do it. 

We look to them to see if they have better clothes, are they happier, do they know something we don’t know or are they looking us? Again, this is something that is innate in us but somewhere along the message gets changed or conditioned and we forget we are individuals and all special. For each of us there is a divine spark, that gas that keeps us moving and wanting to learn on this wonderful planet and if we listen to that as an individual frequency, I believe we would all be happier.

There have been teachings that we are all one and I believe that confused people. While I do believe we contribute to the whole, we are individual humans inside our individual souls excitedly exploring this energy based universe. If there was more thought to how we can be individual, I believe, and have seen in my own practice, we can then contribute to others lives without a feeling of being drained or asked to change. One of the concepts I ask my clients, and practice myself is knowing who self is. If you know who you are, the tendency to look at others is less and the comparison thing, while it may show up on occasion, is less likely to stick. So ask yourself these few questions so you can see where you stand in holding your own IT, Individual topography. Where do you begin and end without relation to others.

• Do you find yourself comparing to others?  If you do, what is it about?  What is the literal subject matter?
• Do you recognize your own unique offering to this universe? It doesn't have to be something huge, it is YOU, and simply because you are here that is amazing.  Can you see that?
• Can you accept that you may have a few IT's but hey, they are cute in their itness and unique in their own way and comparing to others isn't going to help with them but rather add to the challenge of balancing them?
• If others are doing well, do you have a hard time with that and ask, where is mine?

If any of these are challenging for you, simply take the time to breathe and ask how can I get back my own IT?  How can I revel in the fact that I am wonderful, unique and a pleasure for this universe to have?

Another concept I have asked my clients to consider using when they are having challenges with comparing or if they have someone in their lives that does the comparing for them. I ask the client to meet the person for the first time,each time they meet them. 

I had an epiphany one day that part of the reason that a sibling and I had challenges was because of the comparison thing. I felt good in whom I was becoming but they had an issue with me being in my own space and while they wouldn’t cognitively create an issue, energetically and emotionally there was one there. While on the way to a family function I was asking myself how could I go into the day and enjoy everyone and not feel like I was being sucked dry by the energy of neediness. I love my family and they are a FUN group so I wanted a fun day of connecting without old issues getting in the way, issues that I completely take responsibility in fostering over the years. So, I asked a few times on the way over of myself, how can you change how you interact because you can’t change another person, only self. I realized that if I went in and met my sibling with the energy of new acquaintance and who are you today and what are you offering, not only would I be in the now but I would also be erasing old stuff, or so I felt. 

So, I did that. I met her with an energy of less baggage and true interest in who she was as a person. I had a FABULOUS day because as I started to practice this I noticed she didn’t want anything to do with me and kept avoiding me. Now, I didn’t have a good day because of that because I truly do enjoy her, I had a great day because whatever I was feeling would work, DID! I recognized that even if she wasn’t cognitively aware, her own intuition told her something was up and the old story was not going to work any longer. I kept my boundaries about myself but I also started to extend this to others that were there. Now, I have seven siblings and they all have families so that is a lot of people to practice on in a day. I loved it. I met all for who they brought that day and laughed more than I ever remember laughing at a get together, and that says something because we are a good humored family.

I also learned that day how I had been contributing to how others treated me, mostly because I had been comparing. I wasn’t aware of my own Individual Topography, where did I fit in the universe and how was I contributing to its beauty. The conclusion of the day fascinated me even more. As I was giving my sister a hug goodbye she asked me what I did differently, she couldn’t get to me. Now, I truly know she didn’t know what she said as I felt it was a confirmation from spirit that I was on to something here, so I hugged her and gave her a kiss (we are huggers too) and said you were you and I adore you for that. I drove home saying “that was fascinating” over and over and over again.

I have continued to use this day after day with people whether I am meeting them for the first time or have known them for years. It feels like it drops the energy of conflict before I get there so there is nothing for them to grab hold of and react to. It keeps things harmonious and it allows for them to have their own Individual Topography that I can admire from afar but not take away from. I recommend people try this with those they may be experiencing conflicts with. If that is difficult, try it with the person checking your groceries or bag at the airport. Not only does it allow you to meet all kinds of fascinating people, it will light you up in ways you didn’t even know were available because you won’t be allowing the dimness of the past to interfere with wonderful relationships.

So, take some time right now and see where is your topography? Where does your map end and others begin? Is there space in there for all to grow and expand and work the land? If not, take some steps back and do a survey of where you would like to be living with your IT’s and how you can create space for others and their IT’s without comparing and without feeling effected. It is possible and I know you can do it.

Each of us has the ability to create our own map, be our explorers and discover new lands within ourselves. Let's get to it, shall we? 

Exploring hill and dale, 
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had that feeling that things in life are coming into alignment and perhaps achieving a place of flow? After a fleeting moment of, oh man, this is cool, there is the feeling of, what next? Perhaps wondering what was going to go wrong that would upset the peace? Or if you are like I am, really curious about this place in the middle that isn't the old, but not quite the new, sometimes referred to as the ever elusive present.

I was describing this to my coach and wondering if I am procrastinating or starting to create a habit of avoidance when I realized, with her help, holy macaroni, it isn't so much about productivity as much as it about how I've lived my life up until now and how a lot of us live our lives. I realized that up until very recently, no matter how much I meditate or intend to be present, I had been living my life with the feeling there was a hot poker at my bum (cleaned up for the newsletter company who doesn't like me to swear) pushing me along.

This poker has changed over time, raising kids, career, financial obligations, soul pursuits, relationships, you name it, there are a lot of pokers. It was living in survival mode. I don't know about you, but I am so done with that way of living. Branding ourselves with the poker, calling it motivation or havetogetitdone syndrome, either way, it is pushing us to the point of stress, competition and total crappy experiences.

I believe there is a difference between the feeling of pressure and the feeling of inspiration. Sometimes we feel pulled or pushed in a particular direction but it feels really good. That to me is inspiration. Some part of our soul talking to us and saying "hey, this would be really great if you could get your stuff together and see your way to putting something into action." Pressure rarely feels good, except in a massage. :)

I realized, that the poker feeling is an external one. One that often includes other people or obligations. While inspiration, comes from an internal place. Perhaps part of the journey for us is to be able to recognize this and shift the GPS to our own internal process.

So, is there anywhere in your life where you are living from a place of havetogetthisdone? Where the push on your own bum is one of practice being in the stress of life rather than the joy of it? Or where the poker is being applied by others and you are allowing it to be applied.

I don't know about you, but my intention from the writing of this, at this very moment, is to start using that internal inspiration to be the driving force of what I would like in my life, how I will help others, and what I will bring to the universe. We all have a unique perspective, a special branding , it's time we allowed this to show.

So do you want to join me? Do you want to be in this place called the present and use it to become aware of what your branding is? I think it's pretty exciting.

You can ask for help. Some of my most brilliant moments lately are coming from working with my coach who is also a therapist and totally gets my wiring. If that's not a brilliant manifestation on my part, I don't know what is. Ask for help, seek information, start sketching your own brand. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

Let's use excitement about what could be in front of us as the inspiration and leave the red hot pokers in the past.

Heading off to design my own tattoo as that is the only external branding I will allow. 😍

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Labels do serve their purpose. It's great to know what is in my food, how to wash my sweater or what bathroom to use but for people they can be a sticky issue. (pun intended)

One as benign as being labeled a sensitive person can be challenging. I see it is a compliment but I didn't always. I took it personally because I felt so deeply and had a mouth to go with those feelings and not always a developed delivery system! I've seen people use it as an excuse. It is not, in my book by the way, an excuse.  It may be how you are wired and that is fantastic, but to use it as a reason to bail on life is not ok.  Learn how to be accepting of that sensitivity and use it to increase your happiness quotient.

There are so many labels placed by those who raise us, teach us or advertise to us. Why would you self label on top of that? Once you become conscious of how you are talking to yourself and what you are calling you, the desire to label goes out the window and you become you. Wonderful in all your glory. How freeing would that be?

Having said that, it is often necessary to label services. How would we know where to get our oil changed, what food a restaurant serves or what Dr offers Chiropractic services (shout out to Dr. Belanger who always re-aligns me!)?

I have been challenging myself to come up with a concise descriptor of what I do as "helping people to achieve a state of happiness and understanding of their path while being able to create the life they would love to be living through my intuitive, coaching and trained abilities" is really challenging to put on a business card. The ironic part being if you came to me, I could nail this down in minutes and have you on your way with a plan that is in alignment with you and applicable. Oh, the humor of the human experience.

So, I asked myself what it is that I love so much about my work and I came up with "I LOVE helping people believe in themselves and life again." I can see your full light and abilities but if you can't, me seeing them doesn't amount to much more than labels themselves, right? I can tell you how creative you are, how smart, loving, funny, amazing, intuitive, blessed, analytical, or healthy among others, but they would be my labels I was giving you to stick on you. Especially if you were unable to recognize them for yourself.

Now, this may work for a bit. Have you ever shown up or put in more effort because someone believed in you? Of course you have, we all have. It is short lived though because it is borrowed, it is not inside. When those feelings and knowings are inside, everything is possible. I've known this for years but had a challenge putting my finger on how to describe it. For months I have heard two words and ignored them. What? I'm in process too.

Two weeks ago though, I decided I had to run with the label I was hearing so here goes; Belief Specialist. This is what I do. I help people to believe in themselves, the universe and others. I'm really good at it too because I love it and I've put the time into learning how to help on both the energetic and literal levels. I blend the intuitive with the practical knowledge to create forward movement and most of all, belief in the life process. This label I am good with.

How does this change the work I have been doing? Well, it doesn't in the overall picture. I will continue to do sessions using whatever benefits the client while assisting them in seeing they have power too. When I show up as my whole self, I can help others to do so as well. How fun is that?

The other benefit of this label are the initials. Belief Specialist.... BS. Come on, that's funny! I am the BS that doesn't bs. Honesty and transparency have always been important to me so I have somewhat cultivated a reputation of no bs. I love that too because fake is exhausting and I don't feel I am serving anyone by sugarcoating or giving them what they want to hear. I know for me when someone is willing to tell me like it is (thank you to the friends who do this with me!), I grow.

So, if your labels are bugging you and your belief systems (another bs, although some can be very supportive ) are challenging you, know there are methods to relieve the pressure and create an amazing life.

I thank you for being with me on this journey of clarity and for providing me the opportunity to help you learn that you have beliefs, that some are not supportive and can be released and that you can create those that are and rock this lifetime!

What if you believed in you. Imagine what could happen?

Imagining my life helping you,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com