One of the fascinating human processes that happens when something ends in our lives is we do a retrospective. A review of the movie so to speak. It doesn't seem to matter if this is a job that ended, a move out of a neighborhood or a relationship end through break up or a passing. I know it is a way to practice the life review we will go through after we pass. The benefit of the review when we cross is there is not ego, or self critic, involved as it remains with the physical body. Isn't that refreshing? Something to strive for here, wouldn't you say?

I happen to be someone that likes to look under layers and see what is there and why it may be impacting me today. I see it as an adventure even when I am covering my eyes and looking through the fingers at whatever it is I want to explore. Sometimes it takes bravery to look within and I want to help everyone discover that bravery and looky look look look at all that makes them amazing. It is in those layers. Sure, some of it we want to fling out the window and we can, but some of it is so stinking wonderful and most of us just don't see it within ourselves, until another points it out.

In retrospect, I have become incredibly grateful to the relationship I had with my husband. I had, and expressed gratitude to him when he was here, but after his passing, and without putting him on any pedestal, I realized we really did have a great marriage. We had some really hard experiences in our time together, I believe it's called life, yet what I have come to appreciate is that we both really respected each other and worked diligently to keep that respect alive by being the best we could be individually. I know I had some moments where I wasn't being my best and so did he, but we handled it with this other thing we cultivated in our marriage; friendship.

It takes time to develop a true friendship. I know you can click on my name and request I be your friend but that isn't true friendship. We've become a drive- thru society where people expect to have a certain steps met in a dictated time frame and know for sure what they want in life and in relationships. What I have come to realize over the last eighteen months especially, is that I wouldn't trade all of those trying times in our marriage if it meant I was to rush through and not be with my friend all of those years because we didn't take the time to get to know each other and commit to not only being lovers, partners in business, and parents, but truly good buddies too.

I will admit it is a double whammy when I want to tell my friend who was also my husband something that happens and he isn't here physically to hear it, but the awareness that we did a damn good job even with the pressures of life; that is a comfort.

One of the other things I have realized is that in being such good friends in life, I knew how to begin being a friend to myself after Howard passed. I wasn't always the best friend to me when he was here because he filled that role so well. He got my sense of humor. He would tell me when someone was taking advantage of my kindness and I didn't see it.  He knew my fears and while he really stunk, until about six months before he passed, at being able to just give me a hug when I cried, he gave the best hugs ever! He also fiercely believed I could do anything. ANYTHING! He told the nurses I was going to get him home from the hospital, even though they said he probably wouldn't survive the ride, because I loved him. Of course I did, loved him and got him home. He was my best friend. A friend, whom to this day, I take care of myself because I made him that promise and friends don't break promises like that.

It is without a doubt that because we were two individual people, with different interests but a common desire to do the best we could with what we had at the time, that he completed his journey and I am learning how to be that friend for myself. I know his ability to love me so deeply has helped me to love myself now.

The reason I share all of this is it occurred to me that some may not know that this level of caring is available to them. I have also really come to realize that not all have experienced the connection I know to be possible, albeit necessary to do the work, in this lifetime.  I know I wouldn't have known it without a partner who was determined to show me I was worthy of love and I was willing to show him the same. We all are worthy and deserving of that. Everyone. All of us. Especially you.

I know the statement you can never love another until you love yourself is said a lot and I don't actually believe that. I could not have learned to love myself without Howard being the mirror to reflect that love. While I stand firm in the knowing we can cultivate that love within ourselves, and attract it into our lives, I do believe an example is sometimes needed. There are no perfect relationships but if our twenty seven years can stand as that example for someone, I am honored for both of us.

I am here to tell you on this February love holiday, Howard's birthday of course, what did you think I was going to say? So, anyway, on this holiday I am here to tell you to be persistent, be committed to excellence in relationships, first with yourself and then others, be truthful to yourself and don't settle for good enough.

If you are brave enough to come into this Earth experience, you are brave enough to look within and know what you want from all of the relationships in your life. You are brave enough to be retrospective of what you have settled for in the past and perhaps be grateful yourself for what you see there as well. I know we aren't the only ones who were able to love another so much we ended up loving ourselves in the process. Look around. There are examples. Be willing to do the work required too. Loving oneself isn't for sissies. It is hard work sometimes, but the peace that comes from the soul when you do is absolutely tangible.

I wish for you the love that lights you up inside. A love for life, for self, for others, for sunshine, for puppies, for art, for the Earth and for whatever makes your world amazing. I wish for you a love that has not only hindsight, but foresight to help create it to be more than you could possibly imagine. I wish for you the knowledge that you deserve to experience it in your life and sure, you may have to trust a little and you may have to be brave, but you can do that. I know you can. I've seen the love in you and reflect it back.

Many blessings,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I have heard from so many people asking how do they handle the energy and circumstances of life lately. I have waited and thought about whether to respond in a public way and then decided that I have to or I would be doing a disservice since so many are asking.

 I am asking. I have asked myself what the heck is going on on an almost daily basis. It normally takes A LOT for me to be upset, cranky or mad but these last couple of weeks I have felt like I needed to be the groundhog and go back under to protect those around me from what could be a fascinating spew of words. Perhaps you have felt this way too.

No doubt we are being asked to practice the skills we have in place and to develop even more of them. Mostly patience, tolerance and love, I believe. While I can not say to the whole reason we have conflict or challenges in our lives, I do know for a fact they are there as a way to help us rise up and see what we care capable of. Not everyone is going to take that challenge as one of growth. They may react rather than respond. They may lash out and accuse and they may show a side of themselves you have never seen before. Maybe you are that person. Maybe you are seeing aspects of yourself you haven't realized were there. Maybe you don't like it. Fantastic! We can only change when we realize there is something there to be changed!

I am not only referring to the political landscape, because I will NOT get into that, but the energy of the universe and the request that we, as humans, need to keep growing and asking more of ourselves. That is the process of the soul and there is no getting around it. Each being is sending out a signal of growth and while they may not like it, or want to respond to it, it happens. It makes people downright miserable sometimes.

What I can suggest in this experience is to remind yourself that you are not responsible for how someone else acts, behaves or speaks. You are responsible for you and how you are in the world. The world is going to change. It is not always going to be of your liking. It is not the worlds job to make sure you are ok with it. It just isn't. Get over that if that is your thinking.

 Our response to the world and the actions of it's people IS up to us. Holding any kind of fear, hate, resentment or accusatory energy will effect the world sure, but it will completely effect your life first. When we hold this energy it not only changes the cells within our body, it emanates and then creates more conflict in the world. We all get mad. I think that is great. Emotions matter. What we do with the emotions may matter even more because it then becomes the example of who we are.

How many times have you lashed out in anger or in hurt and then thought about it after and realized that is NOT who you are but how you were feeling at the time? If you do it a lot; you need to look within and get clear on why this is who you want to be and if there is anything you can do about it.

I have a theory that people who are lashing out are doing so because they are mad about who they are inside. Remember, each person is the only one who really knows what is going on inside and can speak with authority on themselves. So often unresolved issues are just below the surface ready to come out but we are afraid to look at it or ask ourselves what the heck we are doing. Then when someone cuts us off in traffic, disagrees with who we like or what we believe, the match is lit and the powder keg goes off. It is so much easier to point the finger out and not realize there are three pointing back at oneself. So much easier to say, they are wrong, or dumb or misinformed than to say, wait a minute; maybe that is my sh*t.

There are going to be issues in life. There are going to be problems and disappointments. There are going to be arguments and there are going to be people you don't like. That is fine. That is life. How you respond to these circumstances are a good indication of how peaceful you feel on the inside. The problems aren't the issue. The way they get addressed are.

Feel passionate about your life. Feel what is in alignment and what isn't. Feel how you would like your life to be and who you would like in it. But for goodness sake, do not think for a moment that it is miserable because of someone else's doing. If it is miserable, realize that and do something to change it. Once you get that, and really get it, then step forward and create change. Then use your voice to communicate how life could be different. Then educate.

So many people are yelling at the top of their lungs lately that they can't even hear the voice within. I get being ticked off. I understand frustration and anger. I do not understand being mean to another and I certainly do not understand how when we all have a soul and heart we can't be accepting of
ourselves and others.

Yes, the energy is freaking nuts right now. Yes, people are not happy with their lives (please see above on what to do about that) and yes, it is still winter in many places (I'd like to point out that it IS February. Of course it's winter!) but external circumstances only effect your life if you let them. Get clear on what you are really upset about and then address that. I promise you, when you do that, the ups and down in energy will be something you realize is there, but not something that takes you out of enjoying the beautiful life we are blessed to have on this planet.

I heard a quote today on a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Jordan Metzi. He said "if you aren't actively building it; you are losing it." While he was talking about supportive muscle fibers, I heard it as a more internal process of if we aren't practicing self care, kindness, love or acceptance, we are going to lose it. I believe in our ability to create a world where these muscles get flexed on a regular basis. I believe in our hearts and souls and I believe in you.

Be the change you wish to see in the world is not only a quote often used in the spiritual world; it is a credo we can all aspire to.

Be that change, please.

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

You don't have to love everyone, but you may want to be able to recognize why it is you don't love them and heal that aspect within yourself.

This last week has been incredibly challenging for all of us. One would think that could be unifying but as a human species, we aren't there yet. We will be one day, it is a knowing to my soul and a hope to my heart that we do. The soul will hold the knowing until the physical part of us gets to the same vibration. It's ok, we will do it, all at different rates, but we will.

You know that expression that art imitates life? Well, this last week I've become so aware that my life is imitating my younger life today and I thought it may be the same for others too. I believe we are more similar than different so today I take a leap of faith to share what I've been realizing and maybe you are feeling too. Perhaps there can be healing from it for others and yes, for myself, too.

Each of us are compilations of our experiences and our teachings. A group of people witnessing the same event often see it and process it very differently. We have all witnessed a roller coaster of emotions through this last week and have come to see people in our lives differently too. I think this is a really good thing, and sometimes we can't see it until the band aid is ripped off.

Band aid ripping can come in many forms. It can be an election that didn't favor your party, or it can be someone cheating on you, or it can be someone passing, the losing of a job, or a stubbing of a toe that is the last straw. Painful that it may be, those band aids occasionally need to be ripped to wake us up and to get some air to the hurt that is underneath.

My band aid happened a few years ago when I realized Howard was not going to be in my physical life for much longer. It isn't my favorite skill, being able to know someone is leaving my life by passing or the ending of a relationship, but it does help me to prepare. While I could get myself in place to experience it physically, the emotions that come up after are often as much of a crap shoot as anyone's process. I decided that whatever I was going through, I was going to feel it, understand it to the best of my ability and use it to improve on the version of Vicki I experience every day.

So while it is painful some days, I embrace that because it means I am feeling. I am connecting with what is my true heart and how I experience it is through the past that is me. Feeling isn't a bad thing. Sitting in your sorrow isn't helpful, but feeling is a great gift. It brings up the crap that gets pushed down that we feel we have dealt with but haven't. I suspect that is part of why people are hurting so much in upheaval of this election process. The long, drawn out election process, rather representative of life, isn't it?

People are facing the hurts that they've buried and the wounds that were beneath the band aid for so long they can't even remember what put the injury there. Then when they don't feel they can deal with the feelings, they project them out on to others and what must have made them feel bad today and it isn't totally true so it begins another cycle of burying.

As we faced so much name calling and bullying with finger pointing, not only in national news but local as well, I realized we all have dealt with that in our lives. Somewhere someone told us that what we feel didn't matter and a part of our subconscious believed it, so it started stuffing until it wasn't possible anymore. We all experience it to a different degree and while I won't even pretend to understand what someone may go through as persecution for what beautiful skin they have or where they were born; I do know what it feels like to be told to not be smart. To shut up and not share what I know. To be told that I was too strong for people and I intimidate them. To be told not to cry or I would get something to cry about. That I felt too much or I didn't feel enough for someone's liking. That when I shine, it makes others feel bad so I need to stop doing that.

Growing up I took beatings. I brushed them off as discipline until recently. I even joked that maybe the beatings I took several times a week shook something up in my head to make it possible for me to be as intuitive as I was. I joked away abuse. I made it ok that my father beat me because someone else might be uncomfortable with it. Someone else might not want to discuss what happened in our home or may not see it the way I did because their experience was different but you know what? That wasn't helping. That wasn't airing out the wound so it could heal and it certainly wasn't helping me to realize that it is perfectly ok to not love my father.

This is the life imitating life part. Current day events helping me to see what I wasn't looking at within from my past. When I came to the conclusion, with the help of my theracoach, Belief Re-patterning and tissues, that I didn't have to love him, I realized it made room for me to love me. It made room for my truth and who I am, and am discovering I am, every day. It made room to say what I went  through wasn't ok and others didn't step in to stop it, and that wasn't ok either. I eventually stood up to him and said if he hit any of us again, he was going down. My fifteen year old self was a good bluffer. My forty seven year old self is tired of bluffing. She's done loving everyone and all their conscious choices and bullying. She is done justifying why someone would act the way they did because of their past and therefore making their hurt ok but not her own. She is done with the idea that we have to love everyone. We don't.

What I believe we do have to do is heal ourselves so that when we encounter a person who is not representing their soul well, we will feel strong in who we are enough to educate, speak up, help another or walk away, but walk away because of choice to not engage rather than because we don't want to upset someone else.

Realizing I didn't love my father and really couldn't because of the choices he made over the years in his life with me, doesn't mean I don't respect him. He worked his tail off to support eight kids and a household. He often worked several jobs to do so. I can appreciate where he came from in his childhood experience and I can even feel empathy for his path. What I choose not to do any longer is make the decisions he and my mother made in how they raised us with physical abuse be justified.

I don't bring this up for you to feel sorry for me. I bring it  up to point out that when I let go of the burden of carrying the should around loving him, I felt lighter and I hope he does as well in spirit.  I felt free to love the way I love. I feel more love for the human's I share this Earth with because I have opened my heart to love myself.

  It takes courage to love big.

When you carry around hate of another, you hurt yourself. When you hang on to the should's of life, you burden your own energy. When you can't see that you have freedom, and so do others, to love whom they want, to vote for whom they want and to not love whom they want; you get in the way of loving yourself.

It may take people a long time to be able to come to this place within themselves. That is ok. Others are not your concern. You are. Great changes can be made one soul at a time.

So, while we do not have to love another or their policies, we do have to learn to love ourselves so that any wounds that may be in there are healed. Are you up for the challenge? Your soul believes you are and so do I. Let's go! I'll help.  Let's flood this planet with authentic presence and a direction of healing.

It takes incredible courage to love big and honest.

Courageously yours,
Vicki

I have had the privilege of being part of three incredible men's passing in these last ten months. While that may seem like an odd statement to make, it is alas, my life at the moment. It is their path, more importantly and something that makes me think and appreciate whatever I did in my life that allowed me to be in their presence.

When I was talking with the friend who is doing his transition as I write this, I asked him if he knew he was doing the hardest thing in his life thus far. He was facing his mortality but he was also being asked to trust that it was all going to be ok.  He gave me one of his chuckles and a look that I've come to read as "Vicki, I like you, but you are one weird duck."  He said to me last week that I ask hard questions and I could stop that now. I love honesty... and hard questions.

Even if he didn't completely believe it, spiritually, he was letting go and doing the path we will all do one day. It was as he told me how much he was going to miss that he also realized how much he had lived. I won't even try to describe the beauty that was in his face and being when he got that. I don't have words for it. Language doesn't have a description for it.

I am always amazed by the human spirit and the strength we all have. These three men have shown me strength in ways I wish I had seen before a disease process made it necessary. All three guys were quiet, loving, perhaps had challenges with communication, yet funny men. At least I thought they were funny. All three have had profound effects on my life by being themselves. By doing the best they could through this process we call life. All three said the same thing to me during our chats during transition; I hope I told the people in my life I loved them enough. Usually followed with; I don't think I did. Now, I was married to one and know he said I love you a lot so his I was able to assure he had done well. The other two and I weren't exactly in that place of expression until the end of their physical life so I can't say for sure if they said but I know with my entire being that they showed it. I assured them they did by witnessing how many people loved them back.

Can I tell you that the three dudes were in incredibly, mind blowingly high pain, and this was their concern. Did they express that they loved and appreciated the people in their life. The strength it takes to wonder that when your entire being is shutting down rocks my world. I'm not sure I would be that strong. I'm not sure, with who I am today, that I would be wondering that. This is where the major impact comes in. I don't want to be wondering that. I know these guys were doing their process but I am a good student and pay attention to the messages coming at me, especially when it is in threes!

What if we all benefit from these three regular dudes and their willingness to answer the tough questions, not only mine, but of their soul? Let's learn from them and gather our strength to show those we have in our lives that we love and appreciate them. Let's decide that showing we care is a great strength and have the vulnerability they showed, be theirs. I know I wondered after Howard passed if he knew how much I loved him. I could see where I was creating issues for myself because it was obvious I did, but really, only because of the last three years of twenty seven did I have that assurance. Had he passed before that, I know it would have bugged me longer because before then it was hard for me show as deeply as I did, even him, that I loved him. We all have this capacity to wonder and my hope is that even if you don't know my amigos, you learn as well from their courage in talking with me and my open book life policy. :)

I know it can be scary to tell someone how much you care, but take the leap and realize even if they don't love you as much, you just checked off the most questioned item by those who are crossing and that is fantastic.

To the guys that have been such a huge part of my life, I love you infinitely and let's remember your promise not to scare me when you pop in to visit!

Learning to express my greatest self with love,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

The first day of the year is a fascinating specimen isn't it? It is both a day of revolution and of reflecting. We've made our way around the sun and have seen another year of how life revolves. I, for one, am a little road weary while remaining grateful that I am here to experience who I am at this moment.

I say at this moment because it really does change from moment to moment. I meet with so many people who are focused on who they want to be and who are running from who they perceive themselves to be. Rarely is someone present enough to be who they are in that moment. Of course we are a compilation of all of our experiences but does that mean we have to carry all that stuff with us everywhere and either be stuck in it or running from it?

Reflection is great and I do believe a great tool for each of us to use, but if you are staring in the mirror with the intent of finding all the issues, I promise you, you will find them and only them. Reflections can be altered by the surface in which you are using to see yourself. Consider a calm lake; if someone throws a rock in and it creates a ripple, there is no longer a flat surface to observe ourselves. Life has ripples. It has some pretty amazing waves sometimes and we can't always reflect in the same place we are when we experience the ripples.

I know I did a fantastic job being present for Howard during his transition journey. I KNOW it, but yet there are times when I question if he knew how much I love him and was I my best self during that time or any time in our marriage for that matter. I know this is part of my process and while I am not always a fan of the feelings, I embrace the fact that I enjoy reflection and am so grateful to be able to realize that if I'm reflecting on something that happened even yesterday, I am looking at it from the place of having dropped the pebble in to create a ripple. I can't ever recreate the situation as it was. I can't have the clear reflection of the moment back. It has passed so I have to be willing to appreciate that I did the best I could with what I had at the time.

This is a challenge for many people. I often have to suggest they leave the billy club that they beat themselves up with in my office and not take it with them any longer. We can't ever go back to where we were. No one else can either so stop expecting them to know how you felt yesterday, last week or a year ago. Get in the game and evolve as we revolve. We can use our lives as mirrors but if we are going to abuse the mirror or criticize it, it will never be a helpful tool.

• What if for this year you reflected on the ripples you experienced this last year and how you could appreciate yourself for being there?
• What if for this year you set the intention of using your personal mirror as a tool to see what you do WELL and how you can enhance that?
• What if for this year you allowed your reflection to show the amazing being it sees whether calm or with ripples?
• What if you accepted that your presence in this life is a gift and reflecting your greatness is what you can gift back?
• What if, just what if, we showed up in the moment, present and willing to see the beauty in each of us? Can you imagine?

I intend for this year to leave my own billy club by the door and not take it with me any longer. As I was preparing the attached info to help you create your own great 2016, I found pictures Howard took on the last trip we made together two weeks before he went in the hospital. At first it was a big ole ripple and hard to look at but then I found a picture he took of me kayaking. I probably should have expected him to be there with the camera but I was in my own world and so present I didn't see him on the dock.

There is a series of pictures of my concentrating on my approach ( I am not known for my grace in paddling into docking stations!). As I looked through the pictures my critic wanted to chime in on how they weren't good pictures, but then I saw the one where I realized he was taking pictures. The look on my face as I realize it's him shows how much I love him and am happy to see him. It is at this moment that I realized if he didn't know how much I loved him at that moment, then he wasn't present and as observant as I gave him credit for and there isn't anything I can do about that now. It was really freeing to have that, thank you Howard and my guides for reflecting in pictures what the greatest meaning of the word can be; showing each other our light and love.

Let's set the intention to show this love this year, for self and then radiate it out. So much so that next year when we reflect we will have to wear shades!

I'm going to get a bigger mirror,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Now for some manifesting fun:

The New Year is a great time to affirm what you want to bring into your life and your path. As the year shifts, it allows us an opportunity to focus on our own shifts.

This year encourages us to fly, to use our intuition and to create out of the greatest possibility. Does it get any better? So, I intend for you a year of manifestations that bring all that you feel is in your highest interest. I encourage you to keep in mind to be mindful of what you ask for as you may just get it. Luckily, the stages and shifting of energy continue so we get to do it many times all year!

You can't do anything wrong with the process below so have fun and dream well. 

You may want to print this out, just a thought.

1) Write out a list, (write it out so it has your energy attached) of all those things that you would like to be done with. This can be literal such as clutter in the home, a person in your life, weight, sadness, whatever you would like to not have in your life anymore, write it down.

2) Take this list and wrap it with a red ribbon, yes yarn will work too, any shade of red. Put it aside.

3) Now, take a deep breath and center back in and write all those things or experiences that you would like to bring into your life, such as financial abundance, love, travel, fun etc. Whatever makes your heart sing and roll that up and wrap it with a red ribbon. (Red ribbon is not necessary but does amp it up.)

4) You will take these lists outside, to keep the energy out of your house and to send into the universe, and starting with the one where you let go, burn it, being safe to catch the ashes in a fireproof object. When it completely burns out and there are no embers, blow the ashes out into the universe wishing them well and feeling lighter because you have released all that stuff you have been carrying.

5) Now, take the other list, the one you are wanting to bring to you and burn that as well. You are following up with positive energy and a statement to the universe that you trust. Even if you feel this is silly, it will still work so no worries. Repeat the part about blowing it out into the universe and then take a moment to "see" your life as it will be.

6) Remember to say thank you before going back inside, to the universe but also to yourself for participating in your own journey.

Kids love this ceremony, yup probably because they get to burn things, but also because it makes sense to their energy so have them do the above mentioned process as well. Just be sure to respect their privacy and allow them to write whatever they would like. Teaching them it is ok to ask is a great thing too!

Be safe in your burning and let the manifesting begin!

The heart is an amazing thing isn't it? It is responsible for pumping our blood, electrical and functional at the same time, what we consider emotional balance and being the symbol of Valentines day. It has so many jobs and euphemisms in our vocabulary, it's no wonder it gets tired sometimes and has to quit working or short circuit so we will listen to it.

Shortly after the dude croaked I had heart palpitations. I let the Dr know during my visit and after a few fun EKG's, it was determined it might just be stress. Ya think? I made an appointment with my acupuncturist for a reboot and he correctly ascertained I was out of balance in my electrolytes. It seems all the working out, heat and stress I was under took me out of the game a little. I'm happy to say the flutters are less often now and I know what they are connected to and I adjust.

The amazing thing that happened though during the process was I had to look at what was causing some of the pain. I don't believe in saying we have a broken heart because the heart isn't what's hurting, it is the emotional center that resides near the physical heart. I didn't want to create a physical issue because of what was so obviously an emotional one. I also didn't want to alarm anyone so I decided to do the work quietly, which is what I needed anyway. Quiet.

I was really hurting emotionally one day and while walking the dog, where all great epiphanies happen, I thought, what if the pain I am feeling isn't because I "lost" someone I love so much, but what if it was because my heart is so full of his love that the physical body is trying to adjust?  What if when he passed and because he is pure positive love, he was sending infusions of love at levels I wasn't used to? I am very fortunate that as much as I could let Howard push my buttons with his humanness, I always knew I was the love of his life.  A lot of pressure sometimes, but I had that knowing and I am very grateful to have felt that kind of love. Who knew there was more? Holy macaroni! We are impressive as souls aren't we?

This week I have been at a conference for Belief Re-patterning and had the opportunity to attend a Flip Your Switch event in person. Again, I say holy macaroni, because there was so much love, authentic love there I felt that same pain in my chest. Luckily, I know it now and didn't get concerned, until I was trying to run here. The lack of oxygen at this level is impressive for this New Englander. Anyway, love is something I am learning to let show and in. I fully admit I allowed Howard to be the focus and the reflection of my love and without him here, I have to be that and it is a bit foreign. I am really good at showing people I love them through action, but in expression, I have room for improvement.

I am going to work on bringing the event to the Berkshires because we could use the example and man, it was a lot of fun too!

What if you looked at your life and where you thought you had an emptiness, you felt into it and asked is it because you aren't letting in light, love, humor, joy, playfulness, reverence, people, spiritual growth? The list is going to be as diverse as people are so check in there and see what the inventory really is.

What if you weren't afraid to show that you really do care about people, authentically and without reserve? What if that caring started with yourself? Imagine the joy we could create in this world. Brother Sun is a band I love and they have a great song called In The Name of Love. It is about being brave enough to be the person to hold the belief in love being a great force. I hope to be that person one day who exemplifies what honest loving is. Allowing people to be who they are. Wishing them well when they have to leave our lives for whatever reason and using that space to fill up with more love.

Authentic love is one that knows value in all, starting with self, in order to align with what resonates with self. It means, to me anyway, that we don't need to put up with any behavior that is less than. The band also has a song called Jericho Road that states hate is too great a weight to bare. I agree as that is often what causes the heart conditions we see in our world. Holding that pain, hate, anger, less than feeling in blocks the love which clogs the heart. I don't know about you, but I am done being a part of the world that lives in that fear.

One of the things Howard used to say to me is I gave people too many chances to show me who they really are. I agree with him, I've often been hurt because of that but you know what, I'm ok with that because it means at some point someone believed the most in them and I believe that energy travels along with them but if I hold resentment, anger, hurt or hesitancy, that hangs with me. No thank you. I want my heart center beating and emanating to match the love the non physical show us is possible. If I explode in the process, I will blast off and shower the love everywhere!

This is a process (said with the long o after being in Canada for a week!) and I know that. One I am excited to get going on. Would you like to join me in creating a world that shows love as a strength? I certainly hope so.

Loving lifts us up. Let's fly!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

If I asked you when was the last time you practiced any self care was, would you be able to answer me? Would you even be able to identify what the self care would look or sound like?

For years people would ask me if I was practicing self care and I would say, yes, of course I am. I brush my teeth, I get over six hours of sleep at night and I occasionally take myself for a walk. I recognize now these are all a survival thing not necessarily self care. I'll be honest and say I thought it was all a bit of  hooey. Being raised in an environment where feelings were not discussed and you just dealt with things yourself, the idea of talking about taking care of myself was foreign enough without actually doing it. Then I hit the mother of all walls. Owning a business, raising family, husband illness and home renovation. If you want to plan a meltdown, that combination will do it.  Then the self care concept became, hmmmm, maybe people are on to something. 

I'd rather you not have to experience the level of stress I did to get to the place of understanding what self care is and then learn to apply it. 

One way to tell if you are not practicing taking care of you is to see where your shoulders are right now. Are they so far up they look like a new form of earring? Is your stomach in a knot? Is your head so busy the stock exchange ticker tape looks tame in comparison? Do you have a recent diagnosis from the medical profession that doesn't thrill you?

Any of these can be an example of holding the stress of everyday life in your body and an indication a little observation and a plan are necessary.  

One of the things I used to let get in my way was the idea that "if I don't do it, no one will."  Sound familiar? Over burdening myself in the attempt to get an Oscar or some kind of award after I croak is what I see it as now. It was an impressive line to tell myself but it wasn't true. Which is often the case for any of our excuses. Other people, family members, business associates, hired professionals or friends could absolutely handle whatever it is I thought I was the only one who could. The need to be needed can be annoying can't it? 

I'm here to tell you that if you have any of the symptoms above or any others that may manifest in your life, then you need you more than you need any fake award for martyrdom. Besides, who wants something else to dust?

For this weeks call to action, how about you take five short minutes and ask yourself what would I really like right now? What would fill my emotional gas tank and help me lower my shoulders to where my skeletal system believes they belong?  Would a massage, a bike ride, a coffee date with a friend, a hike in the woods, a good book in a hammock or singing at the top of my lungs in the car or living room fill me up? What would do it?

Be honest about needing care and then do something to fulfill it. Your body will thank you and so will those around you. I promise you, there is no award for suffering and the only payoff is illness, so does it make sense to keep doing it?

I wish you the best in creating your care plan. If you could use help, give me a call, I created the Self Care Package for just these reasons. 

Take care of you and life will too. 

Caring for self, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

February 14th, to some a wonderful day full of candy, to others a declaration of love, to some a day to tie the knot (thanks Mom and Dad or I wouldn't be here today) and to some a day to whine and complain they don't have anyone to share the day with. Ahhh, Valentine's Day, you are so diverse.

I believe that love doesn't need a specific day to show up and to be told what day it falls on seems a little bossy to me. I like to choose when I express my love on my own thanks but I am grateful it helps some get through the winter bump of February and others a reason to be crafty and create valentines. I am also grateful that it helps those that may be looking for love in their life to dream a bit, perhaps put wonder in their life and a dash of hope. What I would love is for people to realize this is available without a holiday.

While creating the love in life does not come from stickers or one day a year, the theme does give us the opportunity to look at our habits and how we have attracted the love we have currently. We are big ole magnets walking around so if you have someone in your life, you attracted them there. This is true of your bosses, your partners, your friends and those people that annoy you. Congratulations, you are a powerful magnet.

Knowing you are this magnet can help when doing inventory in your life. Accepting that you have attracted even the partners or loved ones that are challenging can take courage but it is very freeing when you do it. Why is it freeing? Well, you can change anything that isn't feeling great or in alignment with your own beliefs as they are today. Giving yourself the permission and acceptance that change happens and that is a good thing will help you to realize any relationship this is no longer lining up and needs to be released is an indication of growth.

It takes a lot of courage to release those relationships especially if you are talking about a partner and a lack mentality exists. "If I let them go, I will be all alone." "If I speak my truth they will leave." "I don't do single well." "They wouldn't know what to do without me." All of these are excuses to keep yourself trapped in a situation that may not feel well to begin with. If you felt compelled to hit yourself on the finger with a hammer and after realizing it hurt, kept doing it, you would be in a similar situation.

We have to be willing to release what does not work in order to attract what will.

My husband and I have been together 27 years. 27 years! If you don't think you would get on each others nerves or be in a state of annoyance in all that time, you are delusional. We are not the same people who got together all those years ago. We have both changed and at times been willing to release the relationship because it wasn't lining up with whomever we were/are at the time. Many people have been amazed we are still together and honestly, sometimes I am too! One of the reasons we are is we both know we put the time into the friendship that is there as well as partnership. The drive-thru mentality of relationships does not exist in our house. If something is not working, we shift it. Granted, I like change more than he does so sometimes it isn't pretty, but it's honest and if you can't look at a partner and say, I can live without you, you have some work to do because a partner does not complete you nor is it their job to make you happy. That is a solo job and until you are willing to see that, relationships will be very trying because eventually people get tired of carrying another and have to release them.

So, if you are in a relationship or single and it is not feeling great, you have to look at self and assess what needs to be released in order to let in a little bit more light and love.

• Do you hold anger about something that happened years ago?
• Are you resentful the person isn't more like you? Doesn't read your mind or won't change to be who you want them to be?
• Do you expect someone else to make sure you are happy and content with your life?
• Do you have a perception of love that is all Valentines day and there is no place for disappointment, sadness and desire for more?
• Do you love you? This one is important because if you don't, why would someone else? If you don't, perhaps seeking some help to learn to love you would be a good Valentine's gift. :)

Please take each day to be honest with self and those around you about what could be more fulfilling and in alignment with whom you are today. Get yourself to a place of loving who you are and what is so that you can line up with those that are doing the same. Refreshing isn't it when everyone is solid in who they are and aren't taking energetically from another? Amazing. I know you have that ability as I know we all do.

I wish you the best of love days...every day and send great big hugs your way,

Vicki

p.s. The candy part of the holiday is pretty cool too. I love the cinnamon hearts!

www.vickibaird.com

This last week has been very light filled for me. I started it with Lasik surgery, THAT is very bright, did fifteen sessions and finished it with a retreat of amazing women who were all very bright lights in their own beings. I had a thought while we were in meditation during the retreat that we all have this light within us and often turn it down to not blind others and in doing so get a little light constipated. Yes, this is the brilliance you can have too if you meditate. It's been said that everything in life comes back to poo, I'm starting to believe that it's true, even meditation!

We all have a light body, it is the essence that is our very soul. It is always present, yet often people are hesitant to show it. Perhaps it is because they are just unaware they have a light body to utilize. I feel like one of my roles here on this Earth is to bring that awareness to everyone, helping them realize that they do indeed have a beautiful light within and once it shines out, begins to demonstrate what the real purpose of being here is, love.

The vibration of love is different for everyone and I do believe is without explanation. It is something that just is. We can try to describe it with all of the cards, songs, poems, graffiti written on city walls, and still never really come up with words to eloquently describe it. How do you describe something that is so light filled and resonates at such a level, that it can take your breath away?

This vibration comes in many different frequencies. The light that is love can be the love for self, a partner, a pet, humanity as a whole, or an interest that comes from your very soul. It is as different as each of us are. Each refraction of the light that we have inside of us is a mirror of the love and the potential that we have to shine outside of us. How many lights do you have? Do you know? Do you allow yourself to feel that light and love for whatever it is you are witnessing?

Sometimes this isn't easy. I know I have held myself back for many decades because the depth of the feeling that is there can be overwhelming at times. I have learned to shift that overwhelming to a gratitude. Yes, it may still catch me off guard, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just discovering how many lights I possess. And let me tell you, it is fun!

Today when I stopped by to see my grandchildren, Gavin asked me to wait while he ran inside because he had something to show me. Now he didn't know I was writing this blog, nor would he have cared if he did know. Gavin is his own man. He lives to impress no one. After all he is five! What does he come out with? What was so important that he showed me, was a light sword. The sword was impressive on it's own. But then he touched the button and it became lit up with this wonderful green color. As the sword lit up, so did Gavin. He was so proud of it and as an extension he was allowing his light to beam everywhere. It was truly wonderful to see. Perhaps because I was willing to wait to see the light he had inside the home, I was gifted to see the light he had within. He also gave me a fist bump.

Do you have a magic sword? Do you need to find yourself a magic sword? What if this week you took the time to see how many different lights you have in your life? What if you gave yourself the gift to see your light and then you allowed that light to shine from within, blasted from your heart center out around you?  Imagine how wonderful that would feel.

Gavin didn't need to be taught how to shine his light today. He didn't need me to point it out. He knew on some level that if he connected with what his heart found joy in, he could shine his light brilliantly. I'm simply suggesting if a five-year-old is brave enough, aren't you?

I know I'm going to follow his example, take inventory and appreciate every light beam that I am privileged to have shown to me this weekend. Another benefit to this is as soon as you start to see the brightness around you, more brightness shows up. Is that cool?

I wish you a week of discovery, light, love and all the lights swords you can muster up.

Living brilliantly, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

This week has been a bit challenging emotionally. Energetically as well. I appreciate a good challenge but sometimes I wish there was an off switch so I could not feel so much. Other times I am so grateful I can feel as much as I can, I could just burst with excitement and joy.

In the context of my life, you know, having people in it, as well as the context of my work, I see a lot of people hurting. For the most part I am able to put it in perspective as I truly know that I am not any help to someone if I am falling apart at the seams. I believe that some of us are given the ability to remain calm so that others can feel safe to share and express their own hurts. For the longest time, I had a hard time expressing those same hurts because who could understand the magnitude at which I feel and then I realized, no one. Because no one knows how any of us can feel. Only we can. This made me think about how we grieve and how some people hold on to it for generations and how others are able to move themselves to a healing space either through tenacity or through a true desire to feel good.

This thought then sent me to another one (doesn't being in my head sound like fun?) of what I wish people knew now while they are here in the physical. I did a group setting where plenty of loved ones came through yet the longing was still there to connect in a different way from the people sitting in front of me. I have long learned that I can't make stuff up and I won't so what comes through, comes through. I heard myself saying to the group, stop making it about big items. Embrace the everyday things that we pass off as not important and start to really live your life as it is lived on the other side, in love and humor.

Sooooooooo then I decided I would just compile a list of things I wish you knew that I have learned either in working with so many grieving souls or the other side has informed me of in our many meetings. So here goes; a few to contemplate.

• Life is eternal. There is not death. We move from physical to non-physical and back again but death does not exist. Energy continues. Learn it, accept it, be it.
• When you hold onto grief, you are not helping those who have crossed. You are not honoring them, nor are they interested in your pain as a way to remember them. If the relationship was challenging, do your part to heal it and then be grateful for the teacher that they were on your path to happiness.
• NO ONE is alone on the other side. No one crosses alone and no one is segregated. All travel together if that is the wish. There is the option of quiet space just like here only on the other side, it is celebrated and encouraged as a good thing and very healing. No one can fill us up and no one can take away. We are responsible for that in all levels of our growth, physical and non-physical.
• Experiences can hurt but if you continue to replay them, that is on you. It happened and while there may be residual effects, you are in charge of how much it hurts you. Decide if you want to sit in it or if you want to use it to help yourself grow. If you don't want to grow, keep that to yourself too. Others are not obligated to stagnate because you want to. Everyone has their own path and respecting that would go a long way to being happy on this side.
• As one person who was in transition (the space between the physical and non. What we refer to as the dying (wrong!) process) told me recently "I've had a go at this life, I am ready to see what is next and I am really looking forward to having hair again." Humor is really important and it is only secondary to love on the other side. I say we can learn to have that here too.
• It really is about the small stuff. The way we talk with others, the time we give ourselves in meditation, the service that we provide once we are strong and full ourselves. It is about listening with connection and it is about knowing self well enough to not be willing to do anything that feels out of alignment with our soul.

It is my wish that we all honor our individuality and personal paths and that we learn that while we are eternal, it is right now that is important. It is my wish that people know that hurting is temporary and it is our greatest teacher for when we can connect to that hurt then we have surely known joy for it is joy our heart and souls are fed by and craving.

It is in this knowing that while I am sad for my friends who are experiencing the passing of loved ones this week, I am ever so grateful that they knew what love is. I will encourage them to remember that whatever the relationship is to be grateful that it will continue and sometimes, it gets better!  I will also continue to share the knowledge that is given to me so that perhaps others can find that knowing that everything really is ok and that in this process we call life, love, humor, joy, connection, expression, expansion, and hair for those that are folically impaired, is not only possible, they are a given.

Focus on what is in your life and it will surely grow. For now I will focus on how amazing it is to feel and to be able to support those that are not feeling so great in this time for surely that is the expression of my love at it's highest intention.

Blessings,
Vicki