This week has been a bit challenging emotionally. Energetically as well. I appreciate a good challenge but sometimes I wish there was an off switch so I could not feel so much. Other times I am so grateful I can feel as much as I can, I could just burst with excitement and joy.

In the context of my life, you know, having people in it, as well as the context of my work, I see a lot of people hurting. For the most part I am able to put it in perspective as I truly know that I am not any help to someone if I am falling apart at the seams. I believe that some of us are given the ability to remain calm so that others can feel safe to share and express their own hurts. For the longest time, I had a hard time expressing those same hurts because who could understand the magnitude at which I feel and then I realized, no one. Because no one knows how any of us can feel. Only we can. This made me think about how we grieve and how some people hold on to it for generations and how others are able to move themselves to a healing space either through tenacity or through a true desire to feel good.

This thought then sent me to another one (doesn't being in my head sound like fun?) of what I wish people knew now while they are here in the physical. I did a group setting where plenty of loved ones came through yet the longing was still there to connect in a different way from the people sitting in front of me. I have long learned that I can't make stuff up and I won't so what comes through, comes through. I heard myself saying to the group, stop making it about big items. Embrace the everyday things that we pass off as not important and start to really live your life as it is lived on the other side, in love and humor.

Sooooooooo then I decided I would just compile a list of things I wish you knew that I have learned either in working with so many grieving souls or the other side has informed me of in our many meetings. So here goes; a few to contemplate.

• Life is eternal. There is not death. We move from physical to non-physical and back again but death does not exist. Energy continues. Learn it, accept it, be it.
• When you hold onto grief, you are not helping those who have crossed. You are not honoring them, nor are they interested in your pain as a way to remember them. If the relationship was challenging, do your part to heal it and then be grateful for the teacher that they were on your path to happiness.
• NO ONE is alone on the other side. No one crosses alone and no one is segregated. All travel together if that is the wish. There is the option of quiet space just like here only on the other side, it is celebrated and encouraged as a good thing and very healing. No one can fill us up and no one can take away. We are responsible for that in all levels of our growth, physical and non-physical.
• Experiences can hurt but if you continue to replay them, that is on you. It happened and while there may be residual effects, you are in charge of how much it hurts you. Decide if you want to sit in it or if you want to use it to help yourself grow. If you don't want to grow, keep that to yourself too. Others are not obligated to stagnate because you want to. Everyone has their own path and respecting that would go a long way to being happy on this side.
• As one person who was in transition (the space between the physical and non. What we refer to as the dying (wrong!) process) told me recently "I've had a go at this life, I am ready to see what is next and I am really looking forward to having hair again." Humor is really important and it is only secondary to love on the other side. I say we can learn to have that here too.
• It really is about the small stuff. The way we talk with others, the time we give ourselves in meditation, the service that we provide once we are strong and full ourselves. It is about listening with connection and it is about knowing self well enough to not be willing to do anything that feels out of alignment with our soul.

It is my wish that we all honor our individuality and personal paths and that we learn that while we are eternal, it is right now that is important. It is my wish that people know that hurting is temporary and it is our greatest teacher for when we can connect to that hurt then we have surely known joy for it is joy our heart and souls are fed by and craving.

It is in this knowing that while I am sad for my friends who are experiencing the passing of loved ones this week, I am ever so grateful that they knew what love is. I will encourage them to remember that whatever the relationship is to be grateful that it will continue and sometimes, it gets better!  I will also continue to share the knowledge that is given to me so that perhaps others can find that knowing that everything really is ok and that in this process we call life, love, humor, joy, connection, expression, expansion, and hair for those that are folically impaired, is not only possible, they are a given.

Focus on what is in your life and it will surely grow. For now I will focus on how amazing it is to feel and to be able to support those that are not feeling so great in this time for surely that is the expression of my love at it's highest intention.

Blessings,
Vicki

There is a lot of talk about solar energy and harnessing it and I totally agree. I love the sunlight and the feeling of basking in something so huge our brains can't even fathom holding that power and position. We think we understand the function of the sun and appreciate what it has to offer, but what if we could connect in another way other than what it gives us? What if we knew that we have more in common with the amazing ball of light than the darkness that seems to draw some into its grasp? 

While sitting on my newly built back porch (thank you husband Howard), I felt the most blessed connection to the light and to the power that it holds. It took me a bit to realize that it wasn't simply the warmth and glow but that it was activating in my own light. It was telling me that I have that light and like the sun, I can beam it out wherever I am whether others see it or not. For how often have we thought the sun wasn't out simply because a cloud was blocking it? It is still out. Science class will tell us it is out even when the skies are dark. It is out somewhere, it is still shining, not questioning whether it should shine, it just does. 

What if we were the sun? What if we held that position for even a short time each day. Imagine the light recycling program we could create? We could power the very heart of every person. Sharing our light when they forget they have a light. Sharing our brightness even when someone would like us to dim it for their benefit. 

While growing up I was often told not to be too smart. Now, sometimes that was my mouth that got me that comment but most of the time it was in a don't be too big for your britches statement. I can recognize now that it was meant in a protective way but what if I had heard, you shine that light Victoria. You beam it as far as you can and light the world and universe. What if EVERY kid heard that? I get giddy at the thought alone. 

What if we saw ourselves as solar panels and collected the beams and held them in a most loving way, willing to share, willing to offer and willing to bask. I really believe that when one is happy within themselves, they share that and in the sharing recycle it back to the Earth to make it a better place to be. It isn't hard. You can smile at someone, you can hug someone, you can go for a walk that fills your reservoir and be the example of what happy and content looks like. 

Sure there are going to be experiences in life that challenge that light, but come on, that is the fun part. Shining your light when everything is good is easy. Shining it when there is conflict or hurt or growing pains is harder, but the pay off is bigger! The feeling of I kept my light, I let it shine and dang if it didn't get brighter! Don't let the clouds of life block your sun! 

What can you do this week to charge your battery pack and shine your light? When we take in light, we give off light. It is as simple as that. You plug in your cell phone so it charges, why not charge your own solar panel so you can power up your life and maybe give another a shine! 

As a challenge this week, look for opportunities to light someone's day. That is the easy part, the lighting up, the challenging part is not getting attached. Simply offer. Simply shine. Simply wonderful! 

Light on! 
Vicki

p.s. as I write this it is cloudy out but I KNOW there is light there. :)

Don't wait for the perfect scenario to be good with you. It won't happen. We can have moments of "that was amazing" or "This is the best day ever", but perfect is just not attainable. Thank goodness because that is a lot of work to maintain, I would imagine. I don't know because perfection is not something I strive for. Mostly to avoid any disappointment as I know it is an exercise in futility. But I digress, or maybe am creating another blog.

So, don't wait for any scenario to be good with you. I mean, who are you walking around with anyway? YOU! No matter where you go, there you are, following, annoying and hopefully encouraging at the same time. See, you are too busy for perfection. So, if you are walking around with you, shouldn't you like you? Shouldn't you want to hang out with you?

Do you? Do you like your own company? Do you enjoy your solitude? I'm not talking about the time you say you are alone, but in fact, are on your computer, phone,  tablet or hooked into the tv. I'm talking about the time sitting quietly in your space, or walking or connecting with the very essence that is you. ALL of you, voices in the head included! Can you be silent without exterior noise or people and be good with it?

It's weird isn't it? We've become so connected that we've unconnected from ourselves. The idea of being alone is so scary to some, they become leeches on others and even believe that someone else's presence is the reason they believe they are happy or sad or mad or elated or any other feeling you can imagine. We are not Siamese twins, unless of course you are, meant to walk around so tied into another's beingness that we cease to be one yet I meet people every week who will say, "I can't be happy without him/her." To which I usually ask, how long were they alive before they met this giver of happiness and then ultimately the perceived taker of happiness. It is never at birth! It is always later in life, yet the belief is that this other human holds the key to all their value. Bunk, I tell ya, bunk!

I know we are here to connect with others but it is only when we are able to be with self, that true connection can happen. Otherwise, we are simply looking to others to complete us (thanks a LOT Jerry McGuire movie!). Sure, it's scary looking at self and seeing if there are any redeeming qualities there and if you are someone you could love but is also the most empowering thing you can do. And guess what happens when you love and like yourself? Other people do too! How cool is that?

So, take some time this week and set an intentional time, a date with self so to speak, where you tap in and ask, "Do I like me? Do I want to spend time with me? Am I afraid if I don't connect or am I afraid if I do connect?" As I pointed out earlier, you go everywhere with you, so don't tell me there isn't time!

When you find that you are good hearing from you, or feeling what you feel, you will realize that alone is not loneliness. Alone is the filling up of your reservoir where loneliness is the draining. Alone is the centered place of solitude where loneliness is the, I need someone to fill me up.

There is one thing for certain, when you come into this world you are doing the journey alone even though people are there with you, much like when you go out, there will be souls with you, but it is still solely your journey. Don't you want to know that you rocked it by liking you and taking the time to know how great you are?

Give it a go. Really be in that alone place this week. You may find you just love it so much, you crave it. To which I will say CONGRATULATIONS! We need more centered people in this universe! The bonus to getting to this place....you really start liking other people!

Here's to being alone I won't bug you when you are. :)
Vicki

 
I have always loved this quote. One of my favorite nieces gave it to me years ago as a wall hanging. Until recently I took it to mean those moments where you are watching your kids and you could just burst with happiness or when you are good surprised and need a moment to collect yourself. A few weeks ago changed that.

I was working out and had my first, and I'd be ok with last, asthma attack. It was a very weird experience. Not just the lack of air going to my brain and lungs but the total standing still of time. While I admit I was scared, I was also very calm and strangely observational about the whole process. Luckily, I was working out with my trainer who ran FAST to get the inhaler and a friend that I knew wouldn't let me croak before my time. Ha!

In the moment all I could focus on was getting air into my lungs and calming my system down when it wanted to panic. I am someone who likes to know she has a say over her body. In having no say there was a sweet moment of letting go that has been very freeing. What if I did croak in that moment? Well, I would definitely haunt people because I could, but honestly, I was ok with my process. I was ok with who I was. I would have liked to have run a full 5k and maybe kiss the kids again but as a soul, I was good to go. There is something freeing in that. Now, I get that I have a whole different perspective of the passing process than most but in that moment where I couldn't do anything but focus on breathe in, breathe out, I was good with me. Who woulda thunk an epiphany felt like a bronchospasm?

Now, obviously, I didn't croak or I would be a ghost writer. Ha! Come on, that's funny! So, I decided today to look at that experience a bit more and yes, I did call the doctor. I discovered more than the realization that I was good with me, I discovered I had more questions (no surprise there. I am a nosy soul.). Here is a few of those observations and questions that came up for me. Feel free to play along and see what resonates for you and what doesn't. No need for you to stop breathing too!

 Nothing really matters if you have air. Seriously, if you don't have that, don't move forward to the next thing on your list of things because it will only matter for a few seconds. The gift of a deep breath is one that leads to healing on every level. Go ahead and take a deep one right now.

• Where can you not breathe in your life? Is there an area that you could use some room around? Address it and feel the relief of life giving oxygen.
• Do you have support? Do you have a Justin who will run (with his own asthmatic lungs) to get you the tool that will help you breathe? Do you have someone that will say, listen, I love you but you need to address this area? No, then find that support for yourself. It could be a coach, a meditation, a class, it doesn't matter just find that tool that can help you feel like there is room to expand in your world and lungs!
• Are you open to help? If someone presented you with a tool, would you be able to recognize it or would you stand in your stubbornness and refuse to accept that help?

Fear is ok and you will be ok! In that moment of not being able to catch your breath around whatever is going on, know that you will be ok.

• Look back at other times when you thought you wouldn't make it through the day and then you did. See, you have proof that you will be ok, in time. Being scared isn't a bad thing and knowing you will catch your breath is priceless in moving through the tough times. Sometimes fear is the very thing that gets our butt moving and making a change.
• Even if you croak, you will be ok. You'll have to trust me on this one, but I promise you it is true and one of the things I hear the most is how amazing the other side is and that they wish they spent more time in the present and less time worrying.
• Giving in is not giving up. Sometimes we just need to throw those hands up and admit we are scared before we can do anything to change the situation. The secret is to not sit in the fear and get addicted to the drama of trauma.

You can and WILL move forward. Humans are amazingly resilient. We tend to forget that in moments of stress, but we are. Believe in that resiliency and you will do amazing things.

• The human body is amazing with the ability to heal itself. I'll admit to having a tough time with this belief over the last two days when I found myself unable to run a simple lap post seize up. Now I know that any negativity I place toward my body makes it more difficult to heal, but in the moments after with the feeling of weakness, my perception was failure. Luckily I had friends encouraging me to keep going and eventually my body heard the message. Maybe not at high speed, but it kept going. That is amazing. A few months ago I would have given in but something developed over those months allowed me to keep going. We ALL have that ability.
• I believe having a plan is what helps us thrive in times of challenges. It doesn't have to be a firm plan but it does have to be there. I call this the paver plan. One thing at a time. One paver at a time so you have somewhere to put your foot, one after another. What can you do right now that freaks you out a bit but still feels exciting at the same time? Choose that and take a small step. Don't forget to do the happy dance after!

This morning I heard a message in my head but not from my head. It said "if we all wait for greatness, nothing would ever get done. Go for it. Be amazing!" In light of the recent few weeks where I had to face my own self judgment and move through that to this last weekend where I not only reached a respectable personal record in a 5k, I did it with the joy of self-support. I gave myself encouragement and most importantly, self-acceptance. Even if I didn't beat my last record, I was out there giving it my best. THAT is what counts in my personal book. J

Give you your best. You deserve it and you may just realize that you like that ability to breathe deeply and feel all the room to expand in those lungs and the universe!

Come be great with me….I double dog dare you!

Running this life with all the air I can,

Vicki

 

 

Ever have a week where you feel like you are speeding up only to need to hit the brake only then to feel like you are speeding again? Goodness this last week I have felt like a drag racer who didn't know how to drive a standard! (For the record, I can drive a standard!) I knew there were going to be surges in energy this year but this has been caraaaazzzzzyyyyyyyy! It has been very fast with just as powerful bouts of exhaustion. Stop, go, stop go, stop, gooooooooo.

At the beginning of the week I couldn't even form words. I was a babbling idiot. Whenever there is a surge in energy my brain seems to get overloaded and the intelligence I've come to depend on goes out the window. It is quite humbling. This week I actually had to take the time to breathe and collect myself before moving forward. I attempted this blog a few times but it sounded so inane I couldn't put it out there. Thankfully, I do believe my IQ is returning and hopefully this makes sense to you.

If you are having a week of somewhat unbalanced nature, HEY, you aren't alone. It is a great ride this thing we call life and it is freaking nuts sometimes. Since everything in the universe is constantly moving and growing and expanding, the vibrational frequency has to follow suit. Or maybe it starts it, I am unsure on that but either way, it will continue to be pretty high through Tuesday of this next week.

One of the ways you can use this energy is to look at what you would like to have in your life. Maybe start with happiness. Are you happy? If you aren't, what needs to shift to help you get to the happy place? It doesn't  have to be a huge jump, try the small steps first. It is very much like driving a car; you have to start in first gear and go up from there. Any space worth being in, is worth applying energy to. One of the things that can frustrate me is someone who says that they want change but don't want to apply any effort to it. I don't understand why one would waste energy on saying they want something if they aren't willing to take a small step. I can understand fear but I do not understand not attempting even the smallest move.

The forecast of the energy for these next few months is one that is going to be in that place too. It won't ask, can I help you make that small move like I might. It is not going to say, oh you have an excuse, that is so cute. It is going to help you push yourself to honesty. Would you like it to be a willing participant or one that is pushed? It is the kind of pushing that one often hires a coach to help with. It is in your highest interest but it sometimes can feel like pressure until you realize you had the ability all along to help yourself life a great life.

Do yourself a favor and look at how you can use the power surge to your benefit! What would you do if you weren't afraid?  I plan to run when the energy is high and rest when it is in neutral. Learning to go with the flow makes life so much easier!

Buckle your seat belt and get those hands in the air. Why? Why not? Spring may be taking it's time getting here but the energy is not wasting any time springing forward. :)

Riding the wave,
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

"Inch by inch, row by row, I'm gonna make this garden growAll it takes is a rake and a hoe and a piece of fertile groundInch by inch, row by row, someone bless these seeds I sowSomeone warm them from below 'til the rain comes tumbling down." David Mallett

Remember these lyrics most known from Peter, Paul and Mary? Inch by inch, row by row? It has a great message doesn't it? Let's take it inch by inch and see what happens. Something is bound to grow from that isn't it? Something is going to spring up, maybe where we least expect it, but something will create a row. 

As I write this another song comes on the radio that is about growing. The Rose sung by Bette Midler. It seems the universe is conspiring to get us to remember seasons and the beauty in the steps of change. A rose doesn't start out as a wonderfully aromatic, appealing to the eye flower. It starts as a seed, perhaps carried by the wind to it's new location or perhaps planted there by a kind hand. Either way it is one that is in darkness for quite a while before it reaches the light and is seen by others. It doesn't give up under the dirt because no one is patting it on the back or validating that it is worth being here. It goes about its process of growth and stretching toward that sun and knowing that the rain is really what will nurture it into the gorgeous being it was meant to be.

Why do you think plants and nature are so patient, resilient and accepting of change and people aren't? Have we forgotten that there really is a plan, one that we put in place long before we were a plan in our parents lives? Have we lost trust in the expansion of ourselves and the pure magic of being here in this realm?

I wonder these kind of things all the time. I wonder why we can't just be in the place of admiration of others and this amazing planet we belong to. Why do we gravitate to the negative and fear place? I know a lot of that is taught and we are good learners, but what if there was a way to change that way of thinking and being and be more like nature where things are not so much questioned but adored?

 Have you ever seen a cat lying in the sunshine? The pure joy that is there to be experienced by even those watching is a miracle in itself but are you stopping to witness these miracles? Are you allowing yourself to be part of the amazing process that is life or are you being carried by whatever wind is blowing in this moment? Do you look at rain as a bad thing and something here to personally piss you off or something that is a blessing, one that is nurturing the rose that is not questioning it's journey, but rather experiencing it?

I know change happens a little at a time. I am quite fond of the expression baby steps make lasting difference. Just like you learned to be in fear, you can learn to be in trust of yourself and this amazing journey you are on. Sure it takes practice but so did learning to walk and you did that!

Take today and look to the beauty in the world. Allow your viewfinder to locate the wonder of how this whole life thing works. Take a little of that personal power back and decide how you want to feel. Embrace the wind but for goodness sake, don't let yourself be a passive passenger on this thing called life. It is too precious to waste on complaining. As we learned in the last post, you can either embrace the fertilizer of life or you can sit in your own stuff. Personally, stinky energies are not attractive to me so I'll be planting things big time this week. Care to join me? You can do it inch by inch, row by row, working at your own speed, but do something that moves you toward the harvest you would like to see in your life. I'm sure your garden is there waiting for you to be a part of it. Will you?

Blissfully impressed with this life process,
Vicki

“When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.” William James

It is almost (almost) spring time here in the Berkshires and trust me, people are ready with a capital R. It got me thinking of not only is mud season approaching, we are so lucky to have seasons, but so is planting season. Planting involves many steps and one of those is feeding the plants. Often fertilizer is used to feed the plants to help them grow strong and produce. I love the resourcefulness of nature. A recycling program before recycling was even hip. 

What does this have to do with us? Well, it then occurred to me that we all have fertilizer in our lives. Sometimes it is the decisions we make, sometimes it is the past we've lived and sometimes it is our surroundings. Sometimes there is sh*t in our lives and the only thing that determines whether it is seen as poop or if it is seen as fertilizer is our view of it. 

So, if you take a look at your life, do you see a bunch of poo? I guess I should ask if you are willing to take a look at your life first. As the quote above says when you have to make a choice and you don't make it, you are in fact choosing. You are choosing to sit in your poo rather than see the opportunity to fertilize change. It is not always easy to admit that things may need to be cleaned up but if you've ever had a pet, you know that cleaning up a little at a time is sooooo much better than waiting and doing it later. Besides, poo of any kind starts to stink after awhile. 

Ask yourself if you are going to take seat in your poo chair or are you going to plant a seed in that fertilizer. Are you going to keep complaining about how your parents raised you or are you going to parent yourself and grow some flowers? Are you going to blame all your issues on the town you live in or are you going to use your surroundings to propel you to a better neighborhood and then realize that you have power that is beyond the stink in your life?

While I love fresh veggies, I am not one to tend a literal garden, but a spiritual or emotional one? You betcha! This week I am planting a whole garden of seeds because man, the poo seat is uncomfortable. I know, I used to spend time there in creating excuses to not be great, to not succeed or be happy. How silly was that? Silly and not joy producing. I am going to take advantage of spring and grow more and use the energy of the sun to work with my fertilizer to create the abundance that life has available. Care to join me? 

Blooming happy about life, 
Vicki

P.S. If you would like to support a REAL garden that may need to buy fertilizer, please consider clicking the link to help a local community garden; The Giving Garden Fund Raiser