February 14th, to some a wonderful day full of candy, to others a declaration of love, to some a day to tie the knot (thanks Mom and Dad or I wouldn't be here today) and to some a day to whine and complain they don't have anyone to share the day with. Ahhh, Valentine's Day, you are so diverse.
I believe that love doesn't need a specific day to show up and to be told what day it falls on seems a little bossy to me. I like to choose when I express my love on my own thanks but I am grateful it helps some get through the winter bump of February and others a reason to be crafty and create valentines. I am also grateful that it helps those that may be looking for love in their life to dream a bit, perhaps put wonder in their life and a dash of hope. What I would love is for people to realize this is available without a holiday.
While creating the love in life does not come from stickers or one day a year, the theme does give us the opportunity to look at our habits and how we have attracted the love we have currently. We are big ole magnets walking around so if you have someone in your life, you attracted them there. This is true of your bosses, your partners, your friends and those people that annoy you. Congratulations, you are a powerful magnet.
Knowing you are this magnet can help when doing inventory in your life. Accepting that you have attracted even the partners or loved ones that are challenging can take courage but it is very freeing when you do it. Why is it freeing? Well, you can change anything that isn't feeling great or in alignment with your own beliefs as they are today. Giving yourself the permission and acceptance that change happens and that is a good thing will help you to realize any relationship this is no longer lining up and needs to be released is an indication of growth.
It takes a lot of courage to release those relationships especially if you are talking about a partner and a lack mentality exists. "If I let them go, I will be all alone." "If I speak my truth they will leave." "I don't do single well." "They wouldn't know what to do without me." All of these are excuses to keep yourself trapped in a situation that may not feel well to begin with. If you felt compelled to hit yourself on the finger with a hammer and after realizing it hurt, kept doing it, you would be in a similar situation.
We have to be willing to release what does not work in order to attract what will.
My husband and I have been together 27 years. 27 years! If you don't think you would get on each others nerves or be in a state of annoyance in all that time, you are delusional. We are not the same people who got together all those years ago. We have both changed and at times been willing to release the relationship because it wasn't lining up with whomever we were/are at the time. Many people have been amazed we are still together and honestly, sometimes I am too! One of the reasons we are is we both know we put the time into the friendship that is there as well as partnership. The drive-thru mentality of relationships does not exist in our house. If something is not working, we shift it. Granted, I like change more than he does so sometimes it isn't pretty, but it's honest and if you can't look at a partner and say, I can live without you, you have some work to do because a partner does not complete you nor is it their job to make you happy. That is a solo job and until you are willing to see that, relationships will be very trying because eventually people get tired of carrying another and have to release them.
So, if you are in a relationship or single and it is not feeling great, you have to look at self and assess what needs to be released in order to let in a little bit more light and love.
- Do you hold anger about something that happened years ago?
- Are you resentful the person isn't more like you? Doesn't read your mind or won't change to be who you want them to be?
- Do you expect someone else to make sure you are happy and content with your life?
- Do you have a perception of love that is all Valentines day and there is no place for disappointment, sadness and desire for more?
- Do you love you? This one is important because if you don't, why would someone else? If you don't, perhaps seeking some help to learn to love you would be a good Valentine's gift. :)
Please take each day to be honest with self and those around you about what could be more fulfilling and in alignment with whom you are today. Get yourself to a place of loving who you are and what is so that you can line up with those that are doing the same. Refreshing isn't it when everyone is solid in who they are and aren't taking energetically from another? Amazing. I know you have that ability as I know we all do.
I wish you the best of love days...every day and send great big hugs your way,
Vickip.s. The candy part of the holiday is pretty cool too. I love the cinnamon hearts!
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