Most of us are familiar with the statement, raise the bar, meaning to have higher standards, reach a more lofty goal, stretch yourself beyond where you are today. While the premise is good, I have a little issue with the idea and the teaching of that as a way to excel.

You see, often people take this literally and spend their lives reaching for that proverbial bar and never really live life. I love a goal, intention, marker, point to shoot for, personal record, measurement of growth, but I also love being in the moment and squeezing as much out of it as possible.

I see so many people walking through life with the question of what am I here to do? What is my purpose? What can I aspire to? These are great questions, but if you aren't able to stop and listen, what the heck is the point of asking? If you are going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what is my next accomplishment, was it even worth trying in the first place?

I am not suggesting we become a society of slackers, but I am suggesting that we look up and see if we can see the bar. Is is a few inches above your head or is it so far in the distance you can't even see it? Is your next goal something that is attainable in the short term or is it something so far off, like debt free living, a doctorate or a perfect weight that even stretching for it feels hard?

Ask yourself these questions to see where your bar is:

• Do I know what I want in my life? Can I ask for more? (If the answer is no, that is great, you just need a little time to figure this out.)
• Do I put the goals of what I want so far out of reach that it becomes a form of self sabotage? (when they aren't attained you can beat yourself up for not doing it again!)
• Am I afraid to have a bar because that means I may have to ask for more and not be happy with where I am? (It's a cycle isn't it?)
• Do I settle? Do I allow relationships to be one sided (theirs)? Am I in a job that doesn't light me up? Do I believe happiness is for the other person and not me? Their bar is better than my bar. (I'd like to call BS on this one!)
• Do I feel I am worth a bar, and success and happiness? (This one is self explanatory don't you think?  Worthiness, sigh, that little bugger.)
• Can I step back and appreciate the bar that has been there and see it as an ally rather than a foe holding space over my head?

These are simply some methods to help you become aware of where you bar is or if you have one. It is important to want to grow, to want more satisfaction, to aspire to self love. It really is, so what are you waiting for?

Imagine being in a place where that bar is simply a measurement of your own personal happiness. Imagine liking yourself so much the bar is no longer a form of achievement but rather a fun door frame to run up to, jump and smack with satisfaction. High five the bar! Imagine being able to relax and enjoy life and savor the moment of where you are as being enough. What is the sense of having a bar if you can't sit at it an enjoy it once in awhile? 

I realize that the idea of having and doing more is a big message in our society. I'd like to introduce the idea of balance into that. Wanting and having more are a good thing. Making yourself ill in the process is not. Find your balance this week. Use that bar to support you and gently inspire you to grow. Be grateful for where you are and breathe there for just a moment. Nice isn't it? 

Bar none, you are my favorite people, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

This week Linked In sent out an announcement that I had been in business for fifteen years. Fifteen years! Like most people, I do my work day in and day out and don't really get into how long I've been doing it because each day is new and rear view mirror watching isn't my gig. But, fifteen years! That deserves celebration. ( I had mint chocolate chip ice cream to celebrate in case you are interested.)

Most people don't know how it all got started. I was working and had three kids at home when my sister suggested I take one of the kids to an intuitive as he was having challenges with the biological mother he chose in this lifetime. I couldn't send him by himself so his father and I went along and as I watched the process I became aware that this "watching a movie" over someone's head isn't what everyone does. (Although I believe we all can do it to some extent.) I went back to the office the next day and shared my experience "over the water cooler" with a few of my co-workers. They laughed that I was so surprised that someone could do that and said that I did it all the time. I thought they were messing with me, but they weren't. It turns out they had been keeping track of my observations and that set my questioning mind into action.

After a few months of self reflection I decided, that's cool, but it doesn't change the fact that I had kids to raise and a life to live. I chose to see my sensitivity as a skill to be used in conjunction with that life. I was grateful to understand why it hurt me so much when others were sad or hurt about something. It gave me direction in how to handle energy and to learn to communicate in new ways. Fast forward a few years, a new job and people who were interested in the subject of metaphysics and the doors started opening. I do believe that when spirit wants you to move forward, you will get a cosmic 2x4 if you aren't listening.

My 2x4 was giving my notice to my job when I didn't plan to do that. Out of my mouth it flew and I knew it was time to jump and do the readings full time. Fast forward another ten years and here we are and I am so grateful. My office has moved a few times and the business has grown and shifted to now include coaching and being a Belief Re-patterning Practictioner (Official this week as well and my Quick Books balanced. It's been a good week!)

Adding the coaching and Belief Re-patterning became necessary in my humble opinion as I wasn't satisfied simply reading someone's path and energy. I wanted people to develop their own sense of self. To create their own tools and to take a vested interest in their own life. I could watch screens the rest of my life and have a great life doing it, but my soul and self wanted more. I am so grateful for my clients who have been part of my life and continue to be excited about whatever I get an inkling to study. If we don't continue to learn, life is boring isn't it?

In keeping with the what is she doing now theme, I'd like to introduce what I call the Self Care Package. This is the why didn't I think of this before part.....

A Self Care Package is a way to have ongoing support from me in a way that is planned financially and creates a commitment to self where consistency pays off. The way that it works is we enter into an agreement that gives you the ability to book sessions of Belief Re-patterning or Intuitive Coaching and pay on a monthly basis. For example, say life is a bit chaotic at the moment and you would like support and need to meet more than once a month. We can book sessions as agreed on and you will be billed monthly. When life calms and monthly sessions work again, we will go back to that schedule. Packages can be purchased in three, six and twelve month increments. These sessions are billed at a fifteen percent discount off my usual charge.

I have met with people once a month for years and for some reason this never occurred to me to do across the board. Part of that is, to be honest, promoting myself does not come easily but this package is fun for me. It allows me to offer ongoing support when people most need it while answering the "I wish I could see you every week but I can't swing it" statement.

So, it only took me fifteen years to put this in action. I think that speaks well to the longevity of my business. :)

I have grown so much, and released so much of what was in my way, through the Belief Re-patterning combined with my intuitive abilities, that I want to make it available to as many people as possible. Self care starts with the bravery to say I want more. I want to be happy. I deserve happiness and I'm willing to do something to help that happen.

I wish for you these things and more,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

In this world of acronyms and texting language, there are some good ones to be used as reminders of our spacial awareness. I love a good acronym as I feel it helps us like the key that is at the bottom of a map. A shortcut to the place we would like to visit. Today's acronym is MYOB.

MYOB is mind your own business. Now most would probably see this as a directive to someone telling them to stay out of your stuff but I prefer to use it as a self directed tool. Whenever I feel like I am encroaching on someones space or free will, I will remind myself to MYOB, Vicki. (Again, talking to self is very healthy.)

Look around you and see how many people are so invested in those around them that they aren't even living their own lives. Look to social media to see that very quickly. I love social media but come on, the Kardashians are not our lives, unless you are one, nor are the sports teams or whomever made the MSN ticker today. Your life is the one right in front of you. It is the one you are in and the only one you have for right now so do you really want to spend it paying attention to what someone else is doing?

Last night we had a little action in the neighborhood and while I am grateful the police are present and cleaning up our section of town, I don't need to know what is going on. My husband on the other hand would be right in the middle of it if he could. This is no secret in our house. We are very different when it comes to the neighborhood watch. While a little bit of awareness is great, I don't want to leak my energy to those that may or may not, be following the letter of the law. (ok, so when they were mean to their dog I was on the phone immediately. I'm not obtuse, I am choosy about where I put my attention.)

So, where are you watching the neighborhood and not your own yard?

• Do you compare yourself to others? (Their yard/life is not better than yours. It is theirs and yours is yours. Pay attention to yours and you'll be amazed how good it can be.)
• Do you get upset when another practitioner/business/craftsman offers a similar service or seems to be competition? (Someone pointed out to me this week that another person was offering a similar service I do. I told them that was none of my business and I didn't own the copyright to get togethers'. I wished them well and shut down the conversation.)
• Do you think one of your siblings was always your parents favorite? (Maybe they were. So what? Be your own favorite person as a grown up. Childhood should not run the life you have now.)
• Do you get involved in other peoples relationships? (I am of the firm belief there should only be two people in a relationship. The two in it. No one else gets a say nor should be involved. Have a relationship with each person, but not the relationship itself. Thank you to my awesome client who said I could use that line from her session!)

And, how could you pay attention to your own yard? 

• Is there a class you have always wanted to take? An advancement of your learning in any way? (Be willing to be bold enough to hear what your inner wisdom is telling you. Listen!)
• Is there some way you have always wanted to give back but have held back for fear someone wouldn't want your services? (It's amazing how good it feels to help another when you come from a place of authenticity and realizing that giving feels good!)
• What area of your life could use a little attention right now. Do a little inventory at home first before looking outside. (Ask yourself, what DO I want in life anyway? If the answer is tough to come by, come see me. I will help.)

I'd like to offer another perception of the MYOB. What if it became Mind Your Own Brilliance? What if you were so good at minding your own business it strengthened your own light and you became a beacon of greatness for self? Just imagine how fun that could be. Then all the great lights could get together and shine some healing on this planet and universe. 

What if minding your own brilliance became a movement and we all did just that and taught others that feeling good is contagious and doesn't take away from another when we feel this way? I know we as humans have this potential. I believe in our brilliance. 

Have some fun with the brilliance in you and please let me know how you increase your light. Let's support each other and have some great ideas flowing around, shall we? 

Minding my brilliance until everyone needs sunglasses to be near me, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

You may have seen the posts for a series (each class stands independently) offered at my office. The Life's Tool Box Series. We had the first one at the beginning of the month and are doing another the thirtieth of this month. Putting these together have been a lot of fun for me. Tam is a hoot to work with and we are both so excited about people's growth that together we make a pretty impressive pair, in my opinion anyway.

So with all this focus on helping others develop their toolbox, the analogies of tools are popping up all over. One tool I would love to remove from everyone's box is the billy club. I am sure it serves a purpose but when most of us use it to beat ourselves over the head with, it doesn't make much sense to have it in there any more. Let me explain. 

When someone comes for a session and I get a feeling or a picture of the billy club I know that whatever we are talking about is their way of beating themselves up. It may be language or unsupportive relationships. It could be eating habits or smoking or drinking. It could be overworking and stress addiction. The list is as long as the number of people and variables in the universe. However, everyone has a billy club. 

Some may say it is a way to keep one from being too egocentric and self centered. Perhaps it is a way to motivate, but is it effective? I don't know about you but I'm not the most effective when my head hurts or my ears are ringing because I've been knocking myself upside the head. 

I've seen it in many forms too. Some people are very creative in their billy clubs. Some have gone as far as to create them to be steel rods or two by fours. Now that is impressive. 

I'd like to suggest we put the clubs, tire iron or two by four down and pick up the tool of self care. Here are a few examples of a certified club carrying member:

• The critic in your head is louder than the coach. 
• Your first reaction is to downplay your intelligence, looks, talents or beliefs. 
• You think happiness, good relationships, abundance or opportunity are for other people and not you. 
• Your perception or your teaching has been, life is hard. 
• Do you focus on what is not working rather than what is?
• If you compare yourself to others often. 

Of course there are many others, you can become aware of what yours are by taking a few minutes to observe when you feel all twisted up and ready to grab the weapon out of habit. 

Step away from the clubs and pick up the "I matter" tool and try using that for a bit. Ok? Good. If you would like help with that, check out the classes offered. :)

Cleaning out my own tool box, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Chase their tails that is. I just don't get it. I have been feeling like I am doing that this week and it doesn't feel fun to me. Perhaps missing the canine gene is the issue but it seems pretty stressful to me. Even if you catch it, what do you do, bite it?

Have you felt like this lately? I know the energy is a bit excited and can be interpreted as an anxious feeling for some, or a feeling of being jacked up on caffeine, but spin in circles? I am not a fan. I am a fan of the direction of the universal energy right now which is to celebrate our process here and to be more of a cohesive unit. This doesn't mean be in each others back pocket..again..not a fan. What it means is recognizing that when we play well with others, we all succeed.

There is a ridiculous controversy going on in sports right now and I want to shout from the roof tops, IT IS A GAME! Unless you are the players that are directly involved, THIS DOES NOT INVOLVE YOU. Stop acting like it does because you are showing some of your true colors in your behavior and it ain't pretty. Play well with others. Realize that while some may not play well, you are only responsible for you and how you act in response to those who aren't playing well. If you have angry outbursts about sports or any external controversy, you have some within yourself that are the real issue and perhaps you could spend some time looking at that rather than chasing the tail of no results.

I found myself wanting to respond to some of the posts on facebook and then realized, Vicki, stop chasing OTHER people's tails! There is a reason for the unfollow or unfriend button. Exercise the option.

The reason I bring this up is the energy that is present now and for perhaps another two weeks will have this component of whipping up anger and unresolved issues in order to release them. Typically, I report on the energy when it is almost complete so that people can't use it as an excuse to be ding dongs but this is going to be long enough that I felt it would be good to grab those of you who are emotionally mature enough to be responsible for their own actions while realizing why others may be loosing their stuffing and lend some compassion.

We contribute to the energy in the universe so even though there is a little push to get us to clear our stuff, we can't use it as a reason to develop road rage. Be aware and do the things that help ground you so you can be present and not lash out at others in a game of energy volleyball.

What are two things that always bring you back to your senses and your body so you can make choices from the conscious place?  For me it is breath and a workout that involves paying attention to what I am doing and praying it ends soon. When it is that intense, you can't think about anything else and by the time you finish, most of what you were hanging on to is gone. The breath will always bring you back to center. Check in now and see if you are breathing and using your diaphragm or are you breathing in your upper chest. Most of us have learned to breathe in our upper chest and that keeps us in reactive mode. Take some nice centering breaths whenever you feel you are spinning out and you will be amazed at how fast the moment passes. Give yourself that gift of a minute and a half to focus and let the tail go.

Yes, life is busy and can whip us up into that tail chasing place but we don't have to go there or stay there. We can borrow the other canine ability; the ability to let things go and bask in the rays of the sun. I am going to align myself there as the self-sabotage of tail biting is boring to me now. Would you like to join me in taking some deep breaths and finding a great spot to soak up the stillness? I bet you would.

During the next few weeks, or years of your life, choose where you will align your energy and choose how you will spend your time. It's your life, do you really want to lend it out to non-supportive habits? Be nice to you and if the anger is coming up and you don't know how to use it constructively, which is not posting on a public platform, then seek help. Give that gift to self.

Choosing to breathe and play,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...my younger self. I want to tell her to relax. There really is a supportive network of energy that will help you do this human thing. I want to tell her that her kids will become amazing adults and she will have time to think. I want to tell her to focus on what she wants in life and to know that she deserves greatness. 

I would also tell her that her forties will ROCK! She will realize that it is more than ok to ask for what she wants and to not settle. She will learn to like exercise and accept the fact that cooking is not her gig and that's more than ok. I would also say as she loves herself, she attracts others into her life who will do the same, authentically. 

Have you ever thought of communicating with your younger self? So often we beat ourselves up for what we didn't know before and that seems so silly to me. You wouldn't smack a kindergartner for not knowing trigonometry so why would you beat yourself up for not knowing how to handle something? 

Have you ever thought of thanking your younger self for helping you to get to where you are today? Spread some love her or his way. You will be glad you did. You will close the gap between the younger you and the you now and perhaps for the first time in your life, feel whole. When we negate a part of us, being whole is not possible. 

Embrace all aspects of yourself. Aren't you bored with playing small? Yeah, I thought so. Connect with that child dreamer in you. The one that believed in people and magic and a little bit of hope about your future. She believed in you, so you kind of owe it to her to believe in you now. 

If that is challenging, give me a call and I will do my very best to help you two connect. 

Perhaps you could write a letter, go for a walk and chat or do a little daydreaming. She probably misses that. :)

Taking my little Vicki out for ice cream,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Sometimes when I'm doing a session I will hear something come out of my mouth that I'm not even aware I'm about to say. It is both a great source of entertainment and amazement, as well as, a challenge sometimes as then I have to follow it up with some information or advice when I've just heard the subject matter myself.  It is definitely helped me to think on my feet. Any communication that I have I want to come from a conscious place so when I'm hearing the idea for the first time and wanted to be conscious about my communication, it takes a great deal of trust within the process, as well as, my own intelligence.

One of the things I heard myself say a couple weeks ago to someone was "when you have to have a conversation that seems challenging, be of casual voice". She started laughing and said I have no idea what the hell that means. I joined her in her laughter and said well neither do I, but let's figure it out.

It really wasn't very difficult to figure out once I stopped to feel what the words were communicating. All words have vibration and we often forget that when we use them. We forget when we're communicating that were also sending emotion, turmoil, love or confusion. I believe if we would all pause long enough to feel what we were saying, we would communicate in a much more authentic way.

I appreciated this message though because when I had to have a conversation that seemed a bit difficult to even get out of my mouth, I remember to use the casual voice. The casual voice is not one that is slang, laid-back, or without feeling. It has a great deal of feeling in it but it doesn't carry the inflection of whatever conflict may be going on within self. 

Granted it takes practice to be able to communicate in a way that removes the connection to the outcome but it's worth the practice. When you have to have a conversation that seems difficult, give yourself the gift of dialing back your emotions, being calm, maybe taking a breath, and then make the statements or request with a neutral voice. 

We move so fast in our society that we often do the answer for the other person before we've even had the communication. Have you found yourself doing this? You intend to ask somebody a question and you have already answered it in your mind so what is the point of having the conversation in the first place?  Either save yourself the time and trouble of asking or be open to what the other person is going to respond with.

I say it often and I apply it often, we are in charge of the delivery, we are not in charge of the reception. So part of this delivery includes being able to use a voice that is respectful, casual, and open to whatever the other person is going to respond with. If you set up how you think they will respond ahead of time, you are helping to manifest the outcome that your limiting belief systems may have created. Expect a no, get a no. It's not all the other persons doing. 

Give yourself the gift of casual voice this week. Say things and communicate without expectation. Show up in a clean energy completely open to what the other person may bring to the table. This can really help to enhance partnership, understanding, and productivity. Perhaps most important is that it will bring a sense of calm to your own life. Wouldn't that be nice?

Casually dancing through this thing called life,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...know it all by now? What if that is part of the fun of being here on this planet? Learning and adding to what the brain, soul and mind can do? If you knew it all, where could you possibly expand? Wouldn't that be incredibly boring?

The reason I am asking all of these questions is I hear on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis "I should know this already." Like there is some kind of bar code on our butts that if scanned would say, yup, she has life experience, she should know a, b , c by now. Creative? Sure, but correct? I don't believe so. Somewhere along the line as humans we decided that we have to know it all and act like we don't know anything. It's very confusing isn't it?

When I was growing up my mother used to say to me, "Victoria, don't be so smart. Now go help your sister with her homework." I loved helping with homework so it didn't occur to me at the time what a mixed message that was. My sister is older than I am and quite a few grades ahead of me at the time. (and completely capable of doing her own homework I may add.) I know my mother was attempting to help both of us. I know she had our best interests at heart but perhaps, as most of us when not present, didn't realize what she was teaching at the time.

I have allowed the message to hold me back quite a bit in life. I realize this now and with the help of curiosity and lots of Belief Re-patterning, I am able to see it but not engage in it any longer. I know what I know and I stand confident in my not knowing it all. It's such a free feeling to be able to say, I have no clue, but let me check into that or ask someone who does. It is also a lot of fun to say ooooh, ooooh, I know what to do here!

I would love everyone to stand in their own knowing. To hold their power of greatness and realize that we aren't in competition. What you know adds to what I know and what I know can add to what you know. Let's share and realize that our greatest gift is a love of learning. It also happens to be free and something only you can decide if you use or not. No one else has power over how smart you are unless you give permission to self to believe what they may say about you. Which wouldn't be true anyway would it, if you are the only one who can say how much you know?

So, what if you relaxed about where you are and what you could know by now? Should always brings guilt with it. Could brings choice. You could know more, so learn then but put down the billy club you are beating yourself up with for what you think you do not know.

Be willing to see the patterns in your life and how you allow others to treat you or how you treat yourself. By all means, be aware of where you are limiting yourself and then bust through that limitation and stand in the glory of who you are as a soul. If you need help with this, you know where to find me. I'd love to help with your soul work but I have to say, I won't do your home work for you. Lend you a pencil to do it for yourself? You betcha!

If you find yourself wanting to go to the place of blame around what you "should" know, step away from the drama and ask "what can I learn here?". "How can I be nice to me now and open up to a new way of being?" Be inquisitive and be a teacher to self with compassion and love.

Off to learn more about people and how to help,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com