You may have seen the posts for a series (each class stands independently) offered at my office. The Life's Tool Box Series. We had the first one at the beginning of the month and are doing another the thirtieth of this month. Putting these together have been a lot of fun for me. Tam is a hoot to work with and we are both so excited about people's growth that together we make a pretty impressive pair, in my opinion anyway.
So with all this focus on helping others develop their toolbox, the analogies of tools are popping up all over. One tool I would love to remove from everyone's box is the billy club. I am sure it serves a purpose but when most of us use it to beat ourselves over the head with, it doesn't make much sense to have it in there any more. Let me explain.
When someone comes for a session and I get a feeling or a picture of the billy club I know that whatever we are talking about is their way of beating themselves up. It may be language or unsupportive relationships. It could be eating habits or smoking or drinking. It could be overworking and stress addiction. The list is as long as the number of people and variables in the universe. However, everyone has a billy club.
Some may say it is a way to keep one from being too egocentric and self centered. Perhaps it is a way to motivate, but is it effective? I don't know about you but I'm not the most effective when my head hurts or my ears are ringing because I've been knocking myself upside the head.
I've seen it in many forms too. Some people are very creative in their billy clubs. Some have gone as far as to create them to be steel rods or two by fours. Now that is impressive.
I'd like to suggest we put the clubs, tire iron or two by four down and pick up the tool of self care. Here are a few examples of a certified club carrying member:
- The critic in your head is louder than the coach.
- Your first reaction is to downplay your intelligence, looks, talents or beliefs.
- You think happiness, good relationships, abundance or opportunity are for other people and not you.
- Your perception or your teaching has been, life is hard.
- Do you focus on what is not working rather than what is?
- If you compare yourself to others often.
Of course there are many others, you can become aware of what yours are by taking a few minutes to observe when you feel all twisted up and ready to grab the weapon out of habit.
Step away from the clubs and pick up the "I matter" tool and try using that for a bit. Ok? Good. If you would like help with that, check out the classes offered. :)
Cleaning out my own tool box,
Vicki
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