Most of us are familiar with the statement, raise the bar, meaning to have higher standards, reach a more lofty goal, stretch yourself beyond where you are today. While the premise is good, I have a little issue with the idea and the teaching of that as a way to excel.
You see, often people take this literally and spend their lives reaching for that proverbial bar and never really live life. I love a goal, intention, marker, point to shoot for, personal record, measurement of growth, but I also love being in the moment and squeezing as much out of it as possible.
I see so many people walking through life with the question of what am I here to do? What is my purpose? What can I aspire to? These are great questions, but if you aren't able to stop and listen, what the heck is the point of asking? If you are going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what is my next accomplishment, was it even worth trying in the first place?
I am not suggesting we become a society of slackers, but I am suggesting that we look up and see if we can see the bar. Is is a few inches above your head or is it so far in the distance you can't even see it? Is your next goal something that is attainable in the short term or is it something so far off, like debt free living, a doctorate or a perfect weight that even stretching for it feels hard?
Ask yourself these questions to see where your bar is:
- Do I know what I want in my life? Can I ask for more? (If the answer is no, that is great, you just need a little time to figure this out.)
- Do I put the goals of what I want so far out of reach that it becomes a form of self sabotage? (when they aren't attained you can beat yourself up for not doing it again!)
- Am I afraid to have a bar because that means I may have to ask for more and not be happy with where I am? (It's a cycle isn't it?)
- Do I settle? Do I allow relationships to be one sided (theirs)? Am I in a job that doesn't light me up? Do I believe happiness is for the other person and not me? Their bar is better than my bar. (I'd like to call BS on this one!)
- Do I feel I am worth a bar, and success and happiness? (This one is self explanatory don't you think? Worthiness, sigh, that little bugger.)
- Can I step back and appreciate the bar that has been there and see it as an ally rather than a foe holding space over my head?
These are simply some methods to help you become aware of where you bar is or if you have one. It is important to want to grow, to want more satisfaction, to aspire to self love. It really is, so what are you waiting for?
Imagine being in a place where that bar is simply a measurement of your own personal happiness. Imagine liking yourself so much the bar is no longer a form of achievement but rather a fun door frame to run up to, jump and smack with satisfaction. High five the bar! Imagine being able to relax and enjoy life and savor the moment of where you are as being enough. What is the sense of having a bar if you can't sit at it an enjoy it once in awhile?
I realize that the idea of having and doing more is a big message in our society. I'd like to introduce the idea of balance into that. Wanting and having more are a good thing. Making yourself ill in the process is not. Find your balance this week. Use that bar to support you and gently inspire you to grow. Be grateful for where you are and breathe there for just a moment. Nice isn't it?
Bar none, you are my favorite people,
Vicki
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