If you are reading this, I can say for sure you have had a relationship with others. Whether that relationship is with a partner, a sibling or your banker, it is a relationship and requires all parties' participation.
Relationships are a huge part of why people come in to see me. They can be confusing, can't they? I know I have been baffled by some of the ones in my lifetime at times. I have found most often the most challenging issue is when we try to figure out what the other is thinking, feeling, wanting or perceiving. Why do we do that? Don't we have enough in living our own path without venturing into speculation land? I've been known to suggest someone get a hobby when they spend too much time participating in the act of other person wondering.
Sure, we are connected to others but the time we spend speculating is a vast waste of time because we can't ever really know for sure what is in their minds and hearts unless they know and want to communicate. Here is the really tough part; if they don't want to or don't feel able to communicate it, we best serve the relationship by not taking it personally. Yeah, I told you it was the tough part! Respecting what another person wants. What an advanced concept. I believe we can all do this.
It takes a bit of training of the emotional self to remember to honor that space that is the relationship itself between us and another. That space has a life force of its own. Think about a few people in your life. Now think how different each relationship is. Amazing isn't it, how you are one person but have all these different dynamics in connecting with others?
Have you ever done that? Taken time to look at the space and interactions between you and another? It really is in the best interest of our happiness to do so. That is the participation part I was talking about. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our souls and the others to take the time to consider how we are in this world.
Perhaps you could do that this week. Be in observation of one, how you are in each relationship you have and two, spend some time considering not only the other person but the space between you that becomes the relationship and the life it has there.
You may find that when you do this, you realize that you have grown and want something different in that space. You may realize that you are the one that brings the conflict by spending too much time trying to figure another out and want to change them to suit you. Hint: this never works. Knock it off.
Regardless of what you observe, if you are honest, there will be a feeling of amazement of what you've learned. Please take this moment and appreciate how much you rock because you were willing to invest yourself. Sometimes the relationship has run its course and is no longer serving either one of you. This is where knowing that it is more than the people involved, can help to let those we don't jive with, go. Release the relationship; respect the person/animal/company while you do so.
As we move into Spring in the northern hemisphere and a time of growth; perhaps this could be the garden you plant this year.
Happy relationships!
Vicki
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