People are amazing. The expressions of caring I have received over the last four months has been beyond my comprehension at times. I am truly blessed by the relationships I have cultivated even when I wasn't aware I was doing it.

Someone, well-meaning I am sure, said to me "It must be so hard to go through this and be upright every day."  Maybe my matter of fact energy was working overtime that day or I was simply tired of the sympathetic responses, but I came back with "No, not really. This is life and life is different now, but that is part of the discovery, isn't it?"

I appreciated her concern but if you've ever gone through an experience where people have to process their own emotions, i.e. someone passing, job loss, diagnosis, house on fire, dog died, etc., you know how tiring it can be to process that over and over again with the people in your life. Sympathy, to me, always comes from someone working through their stuff and usually has an "oh, that's so sad, heartbreaking, troubling, etc.", whereas empathy comes from "Hey, I've been there, I understand and I support your process."

This is life people. Change happens; every day. Get used to it and stop taking it so personally. See the adventure in it and what you could discover about yourself and how you handle change. That is a good indication of where your emotional health is. Go to sympathy or anger with news and you may have a lot of self-work to do, also called discovery.  If you are able to be in empathy and realize whatever is going on isn't happening to you but you can help and support if you want to, good for you.

If it is happening to you, pay attention to how you walk through the experience. All emotions are valid but we have a choice of how long we remain in each.

This part of my life is hard, it is very freaking hard, but being reminded it MUST be hard does not help. My choice is to recognize it is, and to honor those feelings, then move on because....this is life. Perhaps I have said that before.

Guess what else is changing? The year. We are heading into 2016 where as I have stated before, it is a time to fly. Whatever flight means to you, at whatever height, and whatever speed. Let's stop comparing ourselves to others this year as well. Wouldn't that be refreshing?  Wouldn't it be nice to be you in whatever form that is and appreciate yourself for it? If there is one thing I have learned emphatically this year it is that there is no time for the pretending to be other than who I am. I choose to be me and see how high I can fly.

Care to join me?

Up, up and away,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

You know you've had a busy December when several people ask you, "are you going to do your energy report for next year soon?"  Ooops, I forgot that I have even done them every year! Roller coaster anyone?

Well, if 2015 has seemed like one to you, you are not alone.  As I wrote last year, this was going to be the year of in your face. Items avoided were going to pop up their lovely head, issues pushed away were going to rear up and bite you in the other end and relationships that were not serving were going to make an exit stage left.  And did they? In your life if you did not pay attention, did these things happen?  Perhaps they weren't dramatic in their happening but I bet you were aware just the same.

When a friend asked me how I would summarize this year's energy I laughed and said, "WTF?”. I know I felt that way for most of it. I knew all of the experiences were an opportunity but wholly moly, enough of the growing already. Expansion really does hurt sometimes. Not only did the dude complete his contract but many people I considered loved ones and friends exited that stage left and while I now sit in a place of gratitude for the universe helping them leave; it all was a bit much. Grieving a spouse and friend is enough while trying to stay upright. People who professed to care and then showed their true selves, was quite another. I know, I know, I could have read my own blog from last year and known this was going to happen but I have that annoying trait that believes people are actually going to act with heart. I'm learning, I'm learning. (For the record, I am learning to allow people to show me who they really are. I am not going to change the fact I believe we can come from a heart space, because that I know to be true!)

I hope 2015 helped you learn that taking care of things as they reveal themselves is a lot less work then waiting until they pile up. Sort of like the dishes. If you use just one plate, wash it. It feels good to have it done and won't accumulate resentment as you add the glass, bowl and pan to the pile. It also creates a habit of being present and aware of your surroundings. Try it, it really is quite fun after a while.  Anywho, 2015 was the mama bird pushing us out of the nest.  2016 is where we get to fly if we trust our own wings.

Twenty sixteen is the first phase of SHOW YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF! It's not an official series of years, yet, but that is what I am calling it until it catches on. Every year has its own vibration and as I stated last year, we have been putting in the time and effort to arrive in a place where we can shine and feel great about that. So many of us were taught to dim the light, don't make waves, make everyone happy and all the other well meaning, although energetically discordant, messages. They don't resonate with ourselves and it is time to realize when we believe in self, that energy can multiply and inspire others to believe in themselves. The ripple effect is magnificent. Even the smallest stone can create a ripple.

The behaviors of judgement, hatred, racism, sexism or any other separatism is fading. Sure, we will always have those young souls that are scared by people knowing themselves because they don't know who they are inside, but energy is universal and when it starts to shift, whether someone wants to go or not, they are taken with it. We have a choice of where we float our boat of course, but I promise you, no one is exempt from feeling the waves of spiritual energy that is life force and within all of us.

This is especially true of those who have crossed.  How about a high five for the help they give us from the other side as they do their growing without their human ego?  I am appreciative as it lends to us the pure love we are all striving to learn.  So, even when you miss them, give an expression of gratitude for their continued help, would you?

So, if you were going to trust that you can fly out of that 2015 nest and fly in the energy of 2016, what could you do now that would support that feeling?  Perhaps you could start by realizing that your first flight does not have to be from the top of a great Sequoia tree, maybe a sapling in the front yard is a good start. But go on, what is one thing you would like to change or improve and what is the first step you can take in order to do that?  If this stumps you, reach out and ask for help.  Seek council, ask a friend, go within, come see me, ask your angels, something that helps you identify the subject and then one small flight plan to create movement.

Shining bright is our soul right. Turning on that light is our human responsibility. Turn on your bright self and take flight to wherever it is your heart and soul are leading you. Please do this for yourself and for the universe we share. Let's create a movement of believing in self so much that when someone does something we don't agree with, we observe it but not take it personally. I believe that when one knows themselves and trusts who they are, what others do is their business and lessens the need to compete.

Hey, there is such things as lightning bugs....maybe we can all be lightning birds. Taking flight with our light!

I'll be looking for your light to shine as a beacon!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...what if we gave the holiday heartache perception a break? A holiday for the holiday's so to speak. What if for this year, and if it catches on, we can extend it to the following years, the whole, "the holidays are so tough to go through" verbiage goes away?

For obvious reasons, people are extending their well wishes to me and my family this holiday season and almost without fail the intro is "the holiday's must be tough...". Well, maybe I am insensitive or I am splitting hairs but no, the holidays aren't tough to go through. The holidays are the one predictable event someone who has experienced a change in their life, such as someone croaking, can depend on. The days are specific, even set up on the calendar way in advance, some even falling on the same day each year. How wonderful is that? If you choose to be in sorrow those days, well, it's already figured out for you. You can plan to be sad, lonely or cranky on those days. Premeditated pouting.

If you are like me, you can also plan to honor those days and perhaps be in silence, go for a long walk or be with those that make your heart sing. You can wake up with the intention of being grateful for the times and holidays you have spent with the loved one previous to this year. You can be assured that the holiday will pass and the day after the holiday will come along and you made it through and life can return to normal.

Except, what is normal? Sure the days of the week fall in a great pattern and are predictable as well, but for me, I have not found a pattern to when my head will remember Howard isn't coming in the door after having coffee with a friend. A pattern to when I am grocery shopping and it hits me I don't have to buy Arizona Green Tea anymore. Sometimes I can make it through a whole shopping trip and not even consider it and sometimes, whoa, right there in the beverage aisle, very deep breathing to get through the rest of the trip where I purchase drinks for myself only while sucking back the tears until I get to the car. Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't.

My point is this life process is unpredictable enough without setting ourselves up for tougher times. What if we said, wow, the holidays are a fantastic time to reflect on the silly, fun, fattening, and heartfelt times we've spent together? What if we returned to the true feeling of the holidays of helping others and putting down our electronic devices and connecting with each other, nature or selves if that is your preference?

What if we realized that the "stuff" we are buying isn't filling us up and realize what our hearts and souls are yearning for is to be seen, heard, participatory and in awe of the time and people we are so fortunate to know. Ourselves included. What if we gave ourselves the gift of appreciating this time of year and the fact that we have time to spend?  Not to be maudlin, but I'd love more time with Howard as I am sure you would love more time with those who have crossed in your life.  We can't have that in the physical, but we can learn from it.

What if for this year, and if it catches on, we can extend it, we stop wasting time on tired old phrases and assuming things have to be hard and start appreciating who is in our lives and make the connections that matter to the heart. What if you give yourself and others that gift this year and see if it isn't the perfect size after all?

One of the messages I have heard repeatedly over the years from those who have crossed is that the "Stuff" is of no concern to them. They love spending time with us. I believe they have it correct and I intend to listen. Do you?

If you see me in the store and I am doing my deep breathing exercise, please know, there are so many moments of sheer joy that take my breath away too when I remember those who have crossed and no matter the emotion, I am grateful to have it for it means I too, loved and am loved.

Celebrating every day as its own holiday,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

...but it doesn't have to be. Whatever the struggle is about, it has occurred to me often before that we fight the movement of forward motion. I see it a lot and I know I have been lately. As much as things have changed since July, I find myself wanting to sit still and not change too much more. While I know this is not possible as life is all about change, my system seems to want to hit that pause button on the dvr of life. This is fine if we are talking taking a break, nap or a time out but if it becomes a way of operating, it can down right painful.

We as humans make things so difficult sometimes. I can make it so hard on myself if it means it will effect another person.  Specifically, I have been going back and forth on a business decision for over six months now. So, to be clear, since before Howard, the dude, husband and vice president of our company, croaked. We talked about it a lot before he went in the hospital and even when he came home on hospice. To the point, where his response was always, "you have to do what's best for you, Hon." "Yeah, that's a lot of help", I would say to him.

This week I completely get what he was talking about. I do have to do what's best for me and at this time, it is to not take any appointments where clients want to specifically communicate with those who have crossed. While this has become a smaller part of the work I do over the last few years, it has also become much more challenging for me to do. Read: So incredibly painful I have all I can do to be upright after a session.

It is so hard for me admit that I have a hard time doing something. Do you have this fun part of your personality too? I can easily hire someone for a job I don't know how to do and be happy to pay them, but to choose to stop doing something I can obviously do, feels a bit like quitting. I'm very much a suck it up buttercup when it comes to myself. I can have compassion for another and their conflict while expecting unreasonable levels of performance from myself. Most of the time, I love this about myself. I like a goal, target, carrot, intention or dream. This week I realized this isn't serving myself and it certainly isn't serving my clients, to whom I am so grateful, if I ask them to listen to self but don't do so as well.

This gratitude is what has had me doing the sessions this long. I am so appreciative of the trust people place in me and so freaking proud of the ethics I have held in my work. It is also because of these ethics that I felt I had to say something. I could have let it be quietly known or leave it to Donna to tell people, but I feel honesty is always the best policy.

Since my friend Dave passed in March, the communications from those who have crossed have been comforting and affirming of what I have always known; croaking is a good thing. When Howard passed in August, they have been as well, but I find it challenging to do my growing process while tapping into the realm where they are, which is where your loved one are too. It turns out I may be human after all!

I felt like I would be a hypocrite if I asked people to be themselves and listen to their hearts and not do that myself. My heart is hurting and my abilities don't give me a free pass on that. I feel my clients pain when they come in and while I can support someone who is grieving quite well, to feel the pain of their process related to someone passing while communicating with that soul, has become emotionally debilitating. NOT a fun place to be!

To be clear, I will still be doing readings, coaching and Belief Re-patterning as I have done for almost fifteen years. The abilities I use to do this actually come in two different forms. So, I can turn down the medium aspect of my work and be quite strong, even more clear, in helping people to see their paths.  I will still be offering the guidance and my special blend of intuition, tools and belief in others. It will now be with the clarity of knowing that while those on the other side continue to support us in a session, their messages will need to be felt by you, for you. Which is very possible if you would open up to being able to communicate yourself.

As I was reminded today, all is well. Deciding to focus on my Belief Re-patterning and intuitive coaching business, where my strengths are right now, brings healing too. What it also gives me is an appreciation and knowing that when I listen to me, I can be of the most help to others.

I do hope you realize that you never really needed a medium to communicate with those who have crossed. Your heart does that. I was simply a microphone for your heart. It is ready to sing on it's own.

Listening to my heart and holding you a part of it,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Do you like people? I do, I really do. There may be some I choose to be with more than others but people are fun. In this chapter I talked about our individual topography. Who are we in our own fabulous selves? I am so glad this chapter came up this month because just yesterday I said to my theracoach (She's both a therapist and a life coach. How blessed am I?) "I don't know where I stand. Am I single? Am I still married, because it feels like I am. Am I independent? Flying solo? I know I am not a widow because I am not a fan of the word. The spider is fine, but the word is not for me."  I know I am my own person and thankfully we had that kind of relationship where we weren't dependent on each other for air, but what the what, man? Where am I?


Call it practice or knowing myself, but I ended up answering her by saying, I am Vicki and that is all I need to know right now. I will focus on that and allow the other questions to float out into cyberspace to never return, hopefully! I am the only person who can be me and you are the only one who can be you. Isn't that fantastic? 

As you read through this, assess for yourself where you may be entering into another persons topography and establish clear property lines. Believe it or not, when we stand in who we are, relationships get really, really good!

Here is to your IT.....

My IT may not be Your IT, but it’s Still an IT

Everywhere you turn there are people, people who are busy with their lives, people who are ignoring their lives and people who are living their lives to the fullest. I love people in all of these areas, I love people. It may sound corny but it is true. I love the intricacy of people and how creative we are in our expressions. I believe there is an inherent nosiness in us that keeps us looking at others and trying to figure out what they have that we don’t. Call it an innate desire to grow or just plain ole nosiness, it really doesn’t matter; we do it.

Remember that saying “keeping up with the Jones’s”? Well, that is similar to what is inherent in us without the materialism. How much have you learned from someone over your life time? Certainly you learned how to talk, eat, and walk along with a myriad of other skills. Just watch a baby when you are talking with them, they will mimic the lip movements you make, so cute yet so smart. Yet, somewhere in the path it starts to go the other way, where we look to others and compare. I know you do it, we all do it. 

We look to them to see if they have better clothes, are they happier, do they know something we don’t know or are they looking us? Again, this is something that is innate in us but somewhere along the message gets changed or conditioned and we forget we are individuals and all special. For each of us there is a divine spark, that gas that keeps us moving and wanting to learn on this wonderful planet and if we listen to that as an individual frequency, I believe we would all be happier.

There have been teachings that we are all one and I believe that confused people. While I do believe we contribute to the whole, we are individual humans inside our individual souls excitedly exploring this energy based universe. If there was more thought to how we can be individual, I believe, and have seen in my own practice, we can then contribute to others lives without a feeling of being drained or asked to change. One of the concepts I ask my clients, and practice myself is knowing who self is. If you know who you are, the tendency to look at others is less and the comparison thing, while it may show up on occasion, is less likely to stick. So ask yourself these few questions so you can see where you stand in holding your own IT, Individual topography. Where do you begin and end without relation to others.

• Do you find yourself comparing to others?  If you do, what is it about?  What is the literal subject matter?
• Do you recognize your own unique offering to this universe? It doesn't have to be something huge, it is YOU, and simply because you are here that is amazing.  Can you see that?
• Can you accept that you may have a few IT's but hey, they are cute in their itness and unique in their own way and comparing to others isn't going to help with them but rather add to the challenge of balancing them?
• If others are doing well, do you have a hard time with that and ask, where is mine?

If any of these are challenging for you, simply take the time to breathe and ask how can I get back my own IT?  How can I revel in the fact that I am wonderful, unique and a pleasure for this universe to have?

Another concept I have asked my clients to consider using when they are having challenges with comparing or if they have someone in their lives that does the comparing for them. I ask the client to meet the person for the first time,each time they meet them. 

I had an epiphany one day that part of the reason that a sibling and I had challenges was because of the comparison thing. I felt good in whom I was becoming but they had an issue with me being in my own space and while they wouldn’t cognitively create an issue, energetically and emotionally there was one there. While on the way to a family function I was asking myself how could I go into the day and enjoy everyone and not feel like I was being sucked dry by the energy of neediness. I love my family and they are a FUN group so I wanted a fun day of connecting without old issues getting in the way, issues that I completely take responsibility in fostering over the years. So, I asked a few times on the way over of myself, how can you change how you interact because you can’t change another person, only self. I realized that if I went in and met my sibling with the energy of new acquaintance and who are you today and what are you offering, not only would I be in the now but I would also be erasing old stuff, or so I felt. 

So, I did that. I met her with an energy of less baggage and true interest in who she was as a person. I had a FABULOUS day because as I started to practice this I noticed she didn’t want anything to do with me and kept avoiding me. Now, I didn’t have a good day because of that because I truly do enjoy her, I had a great day because whatever I was feeling would work, DID! I recognized that even if she wasn’t cognitively aware, her own intuition told her something was up and the old story was not going to work any longer. I kept my boundaries about myself but I also started to extend this to others that were there. Now, I have seven siblings and they all have families so that is a lot of people to practice on in a day. I loved it. I met all for who they brought that day and laughed more than I ever remember laughing at a get together, and that says something because we are a good humored family.

I also learned that day how I had been contributing to how others treated me, mostly because I had been comparing. I wasn’t aware of my own Individual Topography, where did I fit in the universe and how was I contributing to its beauty. The conclusion of the day fascinated me even more. As I was giving my sister a hug goodbye she asked me what I did differently, she couldn’t get to me. Now, I truly know she didn’t know what she said as I felt it was a confirmation from spirit that I was on to something here, so I hugged her and gave her a kiss (we are huggers too) and said you were you and I adore you for that. I drove home saying “that was fascinating” over and over and over again.

I have continued to use this day after day with people whether I am meeting them for the first time or have known them for years. It feels like it drops the energy of conflict before I get there so there is nothing for them to grab hold of and react to. It keeps things harmonious and it allows for them to have their own Individual Topography that I can admire from afar but not take away from. I recommend people try this with those they may be experiencing conflicts with. If that is difficult, try it with the person checking your groceries or bag at the airport. Not only does it allow you to meet all kinds of fascinating people, it will light you up in ways you didn’t even know were available because you won’t be allowing the dimness of the past to interfere with wonderful relationships.

So, take some time right now and see where is your topography? Where does your map end and others begin? Is there space in there for all to grow and expand and work the land? If not, take some steps back and do a survey of where you would like to be living with your IT’s and how you can create space for others and their IT’s without comparing and without feeling effected. It is possible and I know you can do it.

Each of us has the ability to create our own map, be our explorers and discover new lands within ourselves. Let's get to it, shall we? 

Exploring hill and dale, 
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

Have you ever had that feeling that things in life are coming into alignment and perhaps achieving a place of flow? After a fleeting moment of, oh man, this is cool, there is the feeling of, what next? Perhaps wondering what was going to go wrong that would upset the peace? Or if you are like I am, really curious about this place in the middle that isn't the old, but not quite the new, sometimes referred to as the ever elusive present.

I was describing this to my coach and wondering if I am procrastinating or starting to create a habit of avoidance when I realized, with her help, holy macaroni, it isn't so much about productivity as much as it about how I've lived my life up until now and how a lot of us live our lives. I realized that up until very recently, no matter how much I meditate or intend to be present, I had been living my life with the feeling there was a hot poker at my bum (cleaned up for the newsletter company who doesn't like me to swear) pushing me along.

This poker has changed over time, raising kids, career, financial obligations, soul pursuits, relationships, you name it, there are a lot of pokers. It was living in survival mode. I don't know about you, but I am so done with that way of living. Branding ourselves with the poker, calling it motivation or havetogetitdone syndrome, either way, it is pushing us to the point of stress, competition and total crappy experiences.

I believe there is a difference between the feeling of pressure and the feeling of inspiration. Sometimes we feel pulled or pushed in a particular direction but it feels really good. That to me is inspiration. Some part of our soul talking to us and saying "hey, this would be really great if you could get your stuff together and see your way to putting something into action." Pressure rarely feels good, except in a massage. :)

I realized, that the poker feeling is an external one. One that often includes other people or obligations. While inspiration, comes from an internal place. Perhaps part of the journey for us is to be able to recognize this and shift the GPS to our own internal process.

So, is there anywhere in your life where you are living from a place of havetogetthisdone? Where the push on your own bum is one of practice being in the stress of life rather than the joy of it? Or where the poker is being applied by others and you are allowing it to be applied.

I don't know about you, but my intention from the writing of this, at this very moment, is to start using that internal inspiration to be the driving force of what I would like in my life, how I will help others, and what I will bring to the universe. We all have a unique perspective, a special branding , it's time we allowed this to show.

So do you want to join me? Do you want to be in this place called the present and use it to become aware of what your branding is? I think it's pretty exciting.

You can ask for help. Some of my most brilliant moments lately are coming from working with my coach who is also a therapist and totally gets my wiring. If that's not a brilliant manifestation on my part, I don't know what is. Ask for help, seek information, start sketching your own brand. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

Let's use excitement about what could be in front of us as the inspiration and leave the red hot pokers in the past.

Heading off to design my own tattoo as that is the only external branding I will allow. 😍

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

So, recently I traveled to Canada for a training. The flights over and the first one back were pretty uneventful. The last flight was another story. It was one of those puddle jumper planes with propellers. Yup, didn't even know they used them still. Anyway, I load up with eleven of my closet friends (people I just met but if you are going into this type of plane in the rain and wind, you get close, fast!), the pilot and co-pilot (Who, by the way, I think I have shoes older than.). 

As we are about to take off we are told there is a slight delay as we have to wait for ice to melt. Yeah, ok, I'm still good here afterall, I know I am going to land safely. My fellow passengers were not so convinced. Two young, strong men next to me looked like they wanted their mommies while trying to not showing they were scared. I made eye contact and said, "I promise you, we are going to land just fine and the flight is only an hour. We've got this!" They didn't look convinced. 

Twenty minutes into the flight it got interesting. We were dropping altitude and the tipping sideways. I'll admit I said a holy macaroni and said "oh, heck no, my kids are not losing both their parents in one year!". Then I remembered, I love roller coasters and if I get freaked out, I am adding to the energy of the other passengers. I look over and the young man next to me is taking his pulse. Seriously? Ok, time to do some Belief Re-patterning. I asked them if they would be ok saying some phrases and breathing with me. They, thinking they were helping me, agreed. We had fun and shifted the energy and in another ten minutes were making the descent into the airport. 

When we landed I said "Man! That was fun!" The gig was up. They realized I was helping them, not the other way around. They said I was a bit off, but laughed and thanked me for distracting them. 

I could have allowed myself to be scared out of my mind, but what was that going to serve? If it was my last flight, I didn't want to go out freaking out when Howard had been so brave. We enjoyed healthy competition and he wasn't getting that one! 

We have a choice about how we respond to a situation. We have a choice whether to see something as fearful or as exciting. How much more exciting can being 35,000 feet up in a tin can being pushed around by Mother Nature can you get? Bring it on, I say. Enjoy this chapter on how to do the switch and be excited by your flight in this life too!

DO YOU FEAR IT OR GET EXCITED BY IT? 

Have you ever sat in a movie where the scene was very dramatic, a good place for drama is the screen, and waited on the edge of your seat because you just KNEW something was going to jump out and you were going to scream? Remember that feeling? Was it fear of the scene and what would happen to the girl who ALWAYS went downstairs to see what the noise was, or was it excitement that she just might do it again? It’s hard to tell isn’t it? It is really difficult to distinguish between the excitement and the fear of it happening. This is true of the movie of our lives as well. 

One of the best processes I learned along the way was to picture my life as a movie, with myself as a character, and watch the interaction, hopefully without being engaged in the story. I rarely go into the basement if I hear a noise so it was pretty easy to stay detached. Try this the next time you find yourself getting involved in the story of something. Take a step back and allow yourself to just view and see if you aren’t able to find a solution because you don’t get bogged down in the emotions of it all. It feels really good to surf on the plot rather than the drama and perhaps write a different ending than what would occur if you were emotionally engaged. It may just give you a perspective that in your too involved state you wouldn’t have seen and make room for those a-ha moments we love so much,

If you are able to see the story you are brilliant, but what if it is harder to identify? It doesn’t mean you are less brilliant, it simply means your compass could use some tweaking. I was reading for a client a few years ago and while we were discussing how she could learn what she could from the relationship she was in before she left it as it was perfectly safe for her to stay in it and discover herself, and perhaps that it wasn’t the relationship that was the issue, the difficulty in seeing the next step to take was really what she was stuck on. As I was watching her movie, I asked her if she was aware fear and excitement have the same vibration in the universe. It really depends on how we are programmed to respond on which identity is used. If one hasn’t felt safe in their lives, for instance, they will usually respond with a fear feeling but if one has been raised or wired to have an open mind and see the adventure in life, they will often respond with an excited feeling. 

For this client it was extremely difficult for her to determine the difference in the short time we had to work together so I suggested a few exercises that may help you as well. 

• Take a nice deep breath and exhale ALL the air. Really let it go and clean out those cobwebs. Now do that again with gusto! 
• Close your eyes and imagine a time when you were feeling frightened and unsure of what to do. Open your eyes (unless you can read through your lids). Can you feel that within yourself? Do you feel where it resides in you? It is different for everyone so really identify where fear shows up for you as it will be the beginning of adjusting that compass. Ok, notate where that was as we will come back to it soon. 
• Take another really deep breath or two and clean out the fear vibration. 
• Now, remember a time when you were so stinking excited you couldn’t stand it and wanted to shout from the rooftops. Feel that zing. Where does it show up in your body? What speaks to you as the location of that excitement?  Notate this as well. 
• Ok, now take three really deep breaths all the way down into your belly. Now, expel the air and feel that cleansing energy putting you back to center. 

So, how was that for you? Did you get to know a little bit more about yourself and where you hold energy? Good! That was the point! So often in our busy lives we go through the day without any intentional breathing that it is a good thing it is an involuntary process or some of us would be in real trouble passing out all the time when we forget to breathe! 

Now, even though those two exercises are at opposite ends of our emotional yardstick they still result in similar physiological responses. Your breathing changed, your heart rate went up, your awareness of the situation you recalled was at an all time high and you weren’t certain you could maintain it long. This is what drew me to feel the vibration of both of them without any response and darned if they weren’t the same frequency! This was very exciting to me as it explained why so many people had a challenging time shifting behavioral patterns once they were conditioned into them. It is fascinating how we have moved away from our senses looking for things to make sense when the information was there all along. 

Let’s try the fear exercise again and see if the energy changed for you now that you are a little bit more aware of yourself. Repeat the steps from above but this time try to feel where it could possibly be excitement for you rather than fear. Of course, if your example was a danger situation, it doesn’t apply because our fight or flight response is there for a reason. If you are in a dark alley, do not stop to try this experiment, get out. 

My client and I worked on this for a few sessions and she has gotten really good at seeing her programmed response was to flee a situation when it felt like it was changing. She wasn’t confident in herself to allow herself to simply follow the bouncing ball of life and see where it took her prior to this realization. Now that she is able to take a moment and feel out the situation or the opportunity, she has built confidence and now if she feels fear she evaluates it and decides if it is time to leave or if she could stay and adjust her energy from reaction to responding. By taking the time to breathe and feel she shifts from that reactive place to one of response and confidence. Also since that time, the relationship has gone from one she was going to leave to one of marriage and so far two little ones. Amazing what breathing will do isn’t it? 

As you read in the introduction I LOVE acronyms so when I read years ago a quote from Neale Donald Walsh, a self described spiritual messenger and author, which read “FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real”. While I loved this quote and had used it often, I found it shifting for me to False Expectations Appearing Real. A little bit of literally license on Mr. Walsh’s expression but one that fit well for what I was seeing in my clients. There were a lot of false expectations on how something was supposed to work so they would get so disappointed and not be able to move forward as they were so tied to how they thought it would turn out. One of the dangers in this is it will block some really great synchronistic events from happening. Our universe is so magnetic that we are literally drawing to us our experience and I felt that if we were always trying to figure it out we were negating those opportunities coming to us by our control. 

One of my favorite clients, as she has become a great friend, Lisa Liberatore is the queen of acronyms. She has come up with some really amazing, always funny, ones over the years and always with joy and excitement of what it could manifest. So, when we started discussing this vibration within her own life she, of course, came up with an acronym for Excitement to which I had to share with you. As she sees it FEAR is very black and white, not real fun at all so it remains just false expectation appearing real. But Excitement is a whole different story for the world of acronyms, and the always fashionable and usually dressed in pink Lisa, so here I give you Excitement as seen by Lisa Lib as I call her along with my descriptions in parenthesis. :)

• E=Energy (because everything in the universe is energy) 
• X=Xengenous which is defined as due to an outside cause which she saw as how we often see how our lives are but then find that we are always connected to self and realizing that is so exciting.
• C=Certainty (the knowing we all have inside that once tapped is a calming source of balance and the gas pedal for moving forward) 
• I=Intuition (Of which we are all born with and carry eternally) 
• T=Trust (what we are born with and learn to do once again if we are willing. Trust in self.) 
• E=Expectation (because it’s a great word when applied with forward motion in regards to the greatness of one’s soul and ability to succeed in whatever is tried.)
• M=Movement/motion (always moving forward and being willing to see what is rocking and rolling in front of us!) 
• E=Enlightenment (that place that many are trying to achieve only to find they had it all along if they would just listen to self. ) 
• N=Now-ing (Allowing oneself to be in the Now and accepting things as being present and not something in the future. Trade marked word by the creative Lisa Lib. ) 
• T=Totality (the feeling of the total self when physical self and soul become aware of each other and function as a whole unit, powerful, fun and totally awesome. ) 

Can you come up with your own acronym for Excitement? What would you choose for the words? Give yourself the space to be creative and to put words that mean something to YOU in there, who knows, it could be exciting! 

This life's journey really is about how well we can fly it. Before Howard passed he asked me to keep being me and to fly as high as I possibly can in this life. While it is still a navigation doing that, I know he can meet me at those heights now and that is freaking exciting. Want to join us?

Who needs a spaceship? We've got our souls!
Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

The heart is an amazing thing isn't it? It is responsible for pumping our blood, electrical and functional at the same time, what we consider emotional balance and being the symbol of Valentines day. It has so many jobs and euphemisms in our vocabulary, it's no wonder it gets tired sometimes and has to quit working or short circuit so we will listen to it.

Shortly after the dude croaked I had heart palpitations. I let the Dr know during my visit and after a few fun EKG's, it was determined it might just be stress. Ya think? I made an appointment with my acupuncturist for a reboot and he correctly ascertained I was out of balance in my electrolytes. It seems all the working out, heat and stress I was under took me out of the game a little. I'm happy to say the flutters are less often now and I know what they are connected to and I adjust.

The amazing thing that happened though during the process was I had to look at what was causing some of the pain. I don't believe in saying we have a broken heart because the heart isn't what's hurting, it is the emotional center that resides near the physical heart. I didn't want to create a physical issue because of what was so obviously an emotional one. I also didn't want to alarm anyone so I decided to do the work quietly, which is what I needed anyway. Quiet.

I was really hurting emotionally one day and while walking the dog, where all great epiphanies happen, I thought, what if the pain I am feeling isn't because I "lost" someone I love so much, but what if it was because my heart is so full of his love that the physical body is trying to adjust?  What if when he passed and because he is pure positive love, he was sending infusions of love at levels I wasn't used to? I am very fortunate that as much as I could let Howard push my buttons with his humanness, I always knew I was the love of his life.  A lot of pressure sometimes, but I had that knowing and I am very grateful to have felt that kind of love. Who knew there was more? Holy macaroni! We are impressive as souls aren't we?

This week I have been at a conference for Belief Re-patterning and had the opportunity to attend a Flip Your Switch event in person. Again, I say holy macaroni, because there was so much love, authentic love there I felt that same pain in my chest. Luckily, I know it now and didn't get concerned, until I was trying to run here. The lack of oxygen at this level is impressive for this New Englander. Anyway, love is something I am learning to let show and in. I fully admit I allowed Howard to be the focus and the reflection of my love and without him here, I have to be that and it is a bit foreign. I am really good at showing people I love them through action, but in expression, I have room for improvement.

I am going to work on bringing the event to the Berkshires because we could use the example and man, it was a lot of fun too!

What if you looked at your life and where you thought you had an emptiness, you felt into it and asked is it because you aren't letting in light, love, humor, joy, playfulness, reverence, people, spiritual growth? The list is going to be as diverse as people are so check in there and see what the inventory really is.

What if you weren't afraid to show that you really do care about people, authentically and without reserve? What if that caring started with yourself? Imagine the joy we could create in this world. Brother Sun is a band I love and they have a great song called In The Name of Love. It is about being brave enough to be the person to hold the belief in love being a great force. I hope to be that person one day who exemplifies what honest loving is. Allowing people to be who they are. Wishing them well when they have to leave our lives for whatever reason and using that space to fill up with more love.

Authentic love is one that knows value in all, starting with self, in order to align with what resonates with self. It means, to me anyway, that we don't need to put up with any behavior that is less than. The band also has a song called Jericho Road that states hate is too great a weight to bare. I agree as that is often what causes the heart conditions we see in our world. Holding that pain, hate, anger, less than feeling in blocks the love which clogs the heart. I don't know about you, but I am done being a part of the world that lives in that fear.

One of the things Howard used to say to me is I gave people too many chances to show me who they really are. I agree with him, I've often been hurt because of that but you know what, I'm ok with that because it means at some point someone believed the most in them and I believe that energy travels along with them but if I hold resentment, anger, hurt or hesitancy, that hangs with me. No thank you. I want my heart center beating and emanating to match the love the non physical show us is possible. If I explode in the process, I will blast off and shower the love everywhere!

This is a process (said with the long o after being in Canada for a week!) and I know that. One I am excited to get going on. Would you like to join me in creating a world that shows love as a strength? I certainly hope so.

Loving lifts us up. Let's fly!

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

As I soar thirty thousand feet in the air heading to a conference, I realized this is really how I want to experience life. I want to fly with ease, trusting the forces that keep me in the air and always heading into a new adventure. I want to be as curious as the Wright brothers who knew flight was possible even if it seemed improbable at the time.

I want to invest in my own experiences by being willing to attend conferences, study new methods and meet interesting people from all over the world. I would love to learn a second language other than spirit talk and I fully intend to see and visit every state in the country I live in and love.

Like everyone, I have a dream list, one with things on it I don’t even know about yet. What I haven’t done in a long time is speak these dreams out loud or write them down as I am now. I know it is an important part of the manifesting process but I had yet to take the time to really catalog them. I also know that many times, something will be spoken or written and then it must change because the energy has been offered up to the universe. I am good with that too. I like surprises.

So, what about you? Have you asked yourself lately what you would like to experience in this lifetime? Have you allowed yourself to be brave enough to ask for more or to expand beyond what you see in your view finder today?

I know after working with people as a coach for so many years that it takes an incredible amount of bravery to be able to not only say you would like more, but to go for it. While accessing that bravery one often runs smack into the wall of “Who am I to ask for such things?” “Who am I to want love and humor and chemistry in my partner?” “Who am I to believe I could help effect that lives of others in a substantial way?” It’s only natural.

I’ll tell you who you are; you are someone who was brave enough to decide to do this Earth journey again. You are someone who, while scared at times, has amazing resources at their disposal simply by being a soul. You have an amazing perspective of this life; yours. You are also deserving of the most amazing experience you can stand while being in human form. And you are a whole lot more.

Did you know that? Did you know we really came in to have fun, do life big and silly while contributing to the expansion of the universe? Did you know that you matter? If you haven’t heard it before, hear it now and hear it clearly. Let it absorb and be in amazement that life isn’t about trials and tribulations, unless you are a trial lawyer and then yes, it is. However, most of us are not trial lawyers and we STILL see it as a big ole test that we are never going to pass.

I have news for you, you aren’t going to pass a test, there isn’t one, but you will pass, of that it is certain. So, why the heck not make the most of this journey while you are here.

I am going to challenge each of you reading this to create the, I would love to list. Put everything you can imagine wanting to do, see, experience, create, offer, embrace, feel, manifest, taste or bring to the world on that list and do it big! It doesn’t mean that it all has to be done today. Quite the contrary, this practice is to become aware that you even want more out of life.

Please let me know what you have come up with. Sharing is inspiring and when we realize this life thing isn’t a competition, we can soar to even higher heights. Perhaps I will add running a complete 5k without a walk break because man, I would really love to do that!

Head in the clouds and loving it, 

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I've always had the benefit of being a good sleeper. Regardless of what may be going on in my life, I can shut down and get some sleep. It's not always a restful sleep as my acupuncturist likes to point out, but it's sleep. The time to power down and close the world out for awhile.

I am very grateful for this ability as trying to sleep after you've slept with someone for as long as Howard and I did, can be tricky.  Granted, the snoring is less but it's still different. I had never considered this before. I hadn't considered many things before that I do now. There can be a gift in experiencing such a big life event if one is willing to be open to them. I find myself amazed at what I didn't know before, that I am learning now, even as I try to navigate this newest adventure.

So, as I traverse this challenge of waking up and remembering every day, as if it's the first day after his passing, that the dude isn't downstairs drinking coffee (he was ALWAYS the early bird in our house), I got curious about this process.

Was it the waking up that was challenging or was it the smack of reality that hits shortly after?  A few mornings in a row I did my own experiment to see which it was. Fortunately, it doesn't happen every day but enough that I could grasp the real issue. It wasn't the waking up or even the smack in the gut that was so hard, it was the realization that I had to get up no matter what was going on. I had a life to life on this side and laying in bed was not the type of life I wanted. Once I grasped this concept, waking up became less challenging.

Why was it easier to wake up after this awareness? Well, it became similar to any other day of my life. Like when the kids were little and I was so exhausted I didn't know if I could hoist my you know what out of bed or when we were running the store and working eighty hours a week and still had to open, ya just get up.

Not unlike when someone goes through a break up in a relationship, a change of vocation, a relocation, a passing of a loved one or any other millions of scenarios that effect us, we have to get up. Before we can get up, we have to wake up and we have to be willing to wake up.

Waking up isn't all about the sleep process. What occurred to me was the waking up was relevant to those scenarios I was talking about previously. Perhaps one has to wake up to the fact that their partner is not the type of person they want to be with or maybe they realize that the job they've been doing for decades really sucks and they don't want to do it anymore. Maybe it's realizing that family may be DNA related but the dysfunction is something you no longer are willing to tolerate. Whatever it is, waking up to the truth is a whole lot less taxing when you realize you already have the strength and the history of getting up every day.

What do you need to wake up to today? What have you been avoiding because you are more afraid of the sock to the stomach feeling than the memory that you have dealt with many others and got up after. When you remind yourself that you have indeed succeeded in waking up in other areas, the new experiences don't carry as much fear. Build that confidence by reminding yourself of all you have accomplished in the past. It really does help.

If you are someone who is afraid of waking and getting up, come see me, I'll help you shift that because this life isn't all about falling flat on your face and whining about it and staying on the floor, it's about getting up and saying, heck yeah, I've got this!

Sleeping is great but give me the awake time so I can rock this lifetime,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

I posted this picture on my Instagram and then thought, wow, that would be a good reference for life wouldn't it? At first when you read the sign you think, whoa, 127 steps! Your brain would probably start to figure out if that is a big number for you, perhaps wonder how far apart are the steps, or wonder, like I did, who thought to put that number up in the first place and is it meant to inspire or intimidate?

This sign was at Letchworth Park in New York. What I thought was a funny picture to take to prove to my trainer that I was working out even though I was missing our date, is now a great memory as this is the last trip Howard and I took together and one of our best in my opinion. There were amazing views and we were in awe of the beauty.

As I remember going down the steps and then back up again, I recall the fact that Howard and I both came up with 126 steps. The best part is we didn't tell the other we were counting. I love that with two different personalities, we both went to counting. Me, because I tend to do that anyway when I climb stairs and him because he had a natural tendency to not believe what he read, heard or saw until he put it through his own questioning. Frustrating at times, and very telling at others because he had an annoying tendency to be right when he listened to his doubt radar. I used to think he was simply being contrary but over the years I learned to hang back and see what the data gave us because it often turned out to be as he said, especially when it came to people who were looking to take advantage of me and I wasn't seeing it because I believe the best in people. I'm going to miss that help!

Either way, neither of us even thought to take the easy view of the falls. Without discussing it, we naturally went to the 127 stair option. I pointed this out to him and he said, "the easy way won't have the best view". At the time I thought it was purely a photographic perspective, when contemplating this later I realized it was actually pretty profound.

How many times have we taken what was the less challenging way because we thought it would be easier and cause less stress? How often have we not wanted to rock the boat and just went with what was option number two? I know I have done that when it meant having a conversation that might be tough or if it meant admitting I didn't know something. What if we believed what Howard said, the experience with the best view was worth putting a little effort into?

In the picture below he was up on the wall overlooking a huge cavern and doing whatever was necessary to get the picture. I took it because he was breaking the rules and I wanted proof of where he was if he fell in! I was being playful about it and I'm glad I was as not only do I have the photo, but it is what sparked this thinking for me. I could take the "easy" route and not challenge myself either in work, life or soul growth but what fun would that be? I want to break some rules too and trust my balance in life to get up on a ledge to get the best picture. Don't you?

What if we agree to trust that life supports us much like the wall above held Howard up? What if we decided a little bit of fear is a good thing and may just be the inspiration we need to stretch and grow? What if we took the 127 step option to see the falls and we did them one at a time?

If there is anything I have learned this summer, it is that life is meant to be lived and every moment we have the choice of how we will do that. I choose the ledge and the great view.

Breaking rules left and right,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com

This weeks chapter is Where Did I Put It?  Trust me when I say I have asked myself this a hundred times over the last two months. I like a place for everything and everything in it's place but when exhaustion and grief move in, the brain process seems to move out the back door. Along with the brain goes the desire to please everyone so it isn't such a bad thing to go through something so life altering. However we can reset that GPS, I say go for it.

As I get to know who I am every day, I reset the coordinates and look to where the adventure will be. 

I hope you enjoy this chapter and get excited about getting to know you.

Where Did I Put It?

Where did I put it is not only in reference to your car keys, your wallet, or that list you wrote out because you were going to take it with you this time. It refers to that part of you that gets left behind, not intentionally, but often through the process of life and the events that can pull our focus away from an intentional journey. There isn’t a conscious thought where we say, gee, I would like to venture away from myself and focus on things outside of me but it happens. It usually happens with one small thing that we commit ourselves to and then another gets added on and then we find ourselves with so many items on the to do list we move to the bottom of that list and have to work with intention to reach the top of it again.

Have you ever found yourself in the habit of saying yes? This can be when someone asks you for your input or when they are requesting your presence on a board or a committee of some type. It can be in the volunteering world where you feel guilty if you don’t at least offer up some type of contribution even if at the time you are agreeing, you are also asking yourself where am I going to get the time or the energy for this?

It would be in that moment of awareness that this is too much that you would, if you hadn’t wandered away from you, pause and let the person or persons asking that you will need time to think and feel about the request before committing yourself. It would also be where you could flat out say no thank you, but that can be challenging for a lot of people who have become pleasers to others forgetting that they must fill themselves up in order to give to whatever the request is, fully and authentically.

How can you get there, the place where you are able to honor yourself without a feeling of leaving the team behind? In small steps, much like the ones that helped you arrive in a place where you are no longer feeling like yourself. Whoever that person is or wants to be will be accomplished in incremental movements, at your pace with an awareness that you can do as much or as little as feels good to you.

This was never more apparent to me then when I met with my client Herb. Herb has a successful business where he is not only the owner but works in a service capacity as well. He came to me with frustrations about his life but also a deep hurt that he couldn’t explain and wanted cleared up so he could engage in his life and love what he was doing again and be a positive member of his family. As we moved through the session, I helped him to identify what it was that was really bothering him. Most of his life he had been trying to reach an invisible bar first set by his parents, then his mentors and then by himself.

This bar had become such a part of who he was he didn’t even realize he was using it to measure others in his life as well. This measuring process often left him with a feeling that others didn’t care as much or weren’t hard workers as well as a myriad of other excuses. Sensing this wasn’t about others, as it rarely is, I guided him in the direction of how HE felt. He then started crying and as was practiced in him, he was trying to stuff it. I encouraged him to let it out and we would see what happened after that. He did and while I waited for him to feel comfortable in the expression of this emotion I realized it wasn’t about the others or about how he even felt about himself. It was that he had left himself somewhere along the process and didn’t know how to meet up again with himself and that joy that he felt was inherent in life if he could just find the gps coordinates. When I pointed this out to him and asked if he felt that was an accurate description, we didn’t get very far when the tears started again. It is always a good indication of hitting the nail on the head or in this case finding the starting point.

So, from here I encouraged him to tell me about himself. What did he like, what was fun for him and where did he feel the most lit up inside. He started talking about his business and how he loved to help people not only on the outside but from the inside to help them feel great about themselves. He absolutely glowed when he talked about that. I then asked him to feel how he was feeling now after having described his passion and he again was moved to tears, this time out of joy rather than frustration. He had found where he left himself and was beginning to connect again. How exciting! (This is why I love my job, this is what helping is about and if you can help someone who wants to help others is a real hoot!)

Have you lost yourself somewhere along the line? If you have, do not worry, there is an eternal tether that holds your soul and self together so it is really a matter of following that tether line to the other end where you left your knowing of what you want in this lifetime. The processes in this chapter can help you do that.

First find where your own gps system is right now. Is it even functioning? If not, smack it a little bit like you do the remote when it won’t work. Then get a sense of who you are today. Don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow, who are you today? It is ok, even brilliant to say you don’t know, that is what we are going to find out but it starts with acknowledging that you exist and that you matter.

Next, what is it that feels or seems out of whack for you? Is your life balance a little off kilter? Are you spending more time on others than on yourself, on work than in play, on drama rather than delight? If so, find five minutes in your day to reprogram this. I find the appointment scheduler on my cell phone to be perfect for this. I set it to go off daily to remind me to breathe, to take five minutes and that the world is not going to collapse in on itself if I am not at attention. Once you have done this, applaud yourself. Go ahead, I will wait.

It is important to give ourselves this recognition and encouragement to continue with self care. How does it feel to have created an intention to find you again? Is there any guilt associated? I ask this because this is often the next argument I hear from people. While I truly believe guilt is a wasted emotion, it is part of the wonderful vibration that is the human species. A part, that when rewired becomes acceptance, becomes joy and becomes a feeling of freedom rarely felt in any other circumstance for it is then that one truly realizes they are an individual with so much to offer.

If there is guilt associated with this, how can you reprogram that response? Can you realize where it is coming from? It is a way to avoid feeling good, to put off satisfaction with your life? Could it be an old tape that is playing in your brain from past teachers who meant well but may have been a bit misguided? If the last is the case, we have moved on to the digital age and cd’s; skip that track. We also have access to Belief Re-patterning through yours truly that can help you reprogram that response and create a new way of being.

These questions are meant to help you redirect your attention back to you so that there is an experience of fulfillment in your life. You are what is important for no matter where you go, you are bound to tag along so wouldn’t it be great if you actually liked and appreciated your traveling partner. So, as a final challenge in this chapter, what are you going to do that will help you feel present in your own journey? Pick one thing, it can be a small step and incremental or you can put a large goal out there but recognize the smaller steps it will take to get there as part of the process.

Herb’s challenge? Well, his challenge was to learn to say no to that drill sergeant that was yelling in his ear to be more, do more, acquire more and simply enjoy the daily process wherever it took him. He is taking this one day at a time and loving his business more but most importantly, himself. It doesn’t get any better than that.

While locating myself lately has been a challenge, I am very excited about connecting with the now me. What about you? Can you get excited about you?

Putting it wherever I am,

Vicki

www.vickibaird.com