The heart is an amazing thing isn't it? It is responsible for pumping our blood, electrical and functional at the same time, what we consider emotional balance and being the symbol of Valentines day. It has so many jobs and euphemisms in our vocabulary, it's no wonder it gets tired sometimes and has to quit working or short circuit so we will listen to it.
Shortly after the dude croaked I had heart palpitations. I let the Dr know during my visit and after a few fun EKG's, it was determined it might just be stress. Ya think? I made an appointment with my acupuncturist for a reboot and he correctly ascertained I was out of balance in my electrolytes. It seems all the working out, heat and stress I was under took me out of the game a little. I'm happy to say the flutters are less often now and I know what they are connected to and I adjust.
The amazing thing that happened though during the process was I had to look at what was causing some of the pain. I don't believe in saying we have a broken heart because the heart isn't what's hurting, it is the emotional center that resides near the physical heart. I didn't want to create a physical issue because of what was so obviously an emotional one. I also didn't want to alarm anyone so I decided to do the work quietly, which is what I needed anyway. Quiet.
I was really hurting emotionally one day and while walking the dog, where all great epiphanies happen, I thought, what if the pain I am feeling isn't because I "lost" someone I love so much, but what if it was because my heart is so full of his love that the physical body is trying to adjust? What if when he passed and because he is pure positive love, he was sending infusions of love at levels I wasn't used to? I am very fortunate that as much as I could let Howard push my buttons with his humanness, I always knew I was the love of his life. A lot of pressure sometimes, but I had that knowing and I am very grateful to have felt that kind of love. Who knew there was more? Holy macaroni! We are impressive as souls aren't we?
This week I have been at a conference for Belief Re-patterning and had the opportunity to attend a Flip Your Switch event in person. Again, I say holy macaroni, because there was so much love, authentic love there I felt that same pain in my chest. Luckily, I know it now and didn't get concerned, until I was trying to run here. The lack of oxygen at this level is impressive for this New Englander. Anyway, love is something I am learning to let show and in. I fully admit I allowed Howard to be the focus and the reflection of my love and without him here, I have to be that and it is a bit foreign. I am really good at showing people I love them through action, but in expression, I have room for improvement.
I am going to work on bringing the event to the Berkshires because we could use the example and man, it was a lot of fun too!
What if you looked at your life and where you thought you had an emptiness, you felt into it and asked is it because you aren't letting in light, love, humor, joy, playfulness, reverence, people, spiritual growth? The list is going to be as diverse as people are so check in there and see what the inventory really is.
What if you weren't afraid to show that you really do care about people, authentically and without reserve? What if that caring started with yourself? Imagine the joy we could create in this world. Brother Sun is a band I love and they have a great song called In The Name of Love. It is about being brave enough to be the person to hold the belief in love being a great force. I hope to be that person one day who exemplifies what honest loving is. Allowing people to be who they are. Wishing them well when they have to leave our lives for whatever reason and using that space to fill up with more love.
Authentic love is one that knows value in all, starting with self, in order to align with what resonates with self. It means, to me anyway, that we don't need to put up with any behavior that is less than. The band also has a song called Jericho Road that states hate is too great a weight to bare. I agree as that is often what causes the heart conditions we see in our world. Holding that pain, hate, anger, less than feeling in blocks the love which clogs the heart. I don't know about you, but I am done being a part of the world that lives in that fear.
One of the things Howard used to say to me is I gave people too many chances to show me who they really are. I agree with him, I've often been hurt because of that but you know what, I'm ok with that because it means at some point someone believed the most in them and I believe that energy travels along with them but if I hold resentment, anger, hurt or hesitancy, that hangs with me. No thank you. I want my heart center beating and emanating to match the love the non physical show us is possible. If I explode in the process, I will blast off and shower the love everywhere!
This is a process (said with the long o after being in Canada for a week!) and I know that. One I am excited to get going on. Would you like to join me in creating a world that shows love as a strength? I certainly hope so.
Loving lifts us up. Let's fly!
Vicki
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