If you are from New England, you are very familiar with rotaries. Also referred to as roundabout or traffic circle. We seem to be very proud of our rotaries in this part of the country. Have you ever been to Cape Cod? Goodness, I got dizzy just navigating from one end to the other.
I understand the premise of a traffic circle, which is to get the traffic that is flowing through a neighborhood to slow down and behave in an orderly fashion. What I don't get is why one would install one in their own life. We do it though. We are engineers of our own confusion. We install habits that make roundabouts make sense!
The rotary's of life can be something like dating the same type of person over and over again or paying off debt only to go back into it. Perhaps you have lost weight and gained it and lost it again. Traffic circle. One stinking confusing pattern after another. I know I have seen them in myself and wondered who the heck gave me the license to drive this life anyway? One of my greatest roundabouts was taking care of people and making excuses for their behaviors. Oh yeah. If you are going to build a circle in the middle of your life, you ought to build a darn good one like that.
For years I would justify why someone was acting like a putz. Now, I accept that some do and it is my choice to go around and around with them or to take the off ramp and go my own way. Most often I choose to go my own way; straight. Circles make me dizzy. To be clear, my going around while others showed me exactly who they were wasn't helping them either. Each time I took a turn around the circle and allowed their behavior, I was reinforcing to them that it was ok to treat me that way and it was ok for them to stall out on their own growth and accountability.
I'm not even sure when I decided that behavior wasn't how I wanted to travel any longer but I am glad I did. I know the supportive tools I have accumulated like self awareness and Belief Re-patterning have helped exponentially. Now when I travel this life road, rotaries are just that, a way to get around a neighborhood at a slightly slower speed, safely to the other side.
- What habits do you have in your life that are taking you around in circles, making you dizzy and past neighborhoods you have seen time and time again?
- What have you heard yourself say over and over again that you were not going to do again?
- Where in your life could you use a new traffic study and a whole new map to travel?
While the slowing down to look is an integral part of the roundabout, I do believe we can do that even when the road stays straight or veers slightly to one side or the other. We are so capable of moving forward in an orderly manner and creating a flow with our lives that is supportive of all aspects of growth, once we realize that the way we have been traveling was nothing but a way to distract us from wanting more clarity and joy in our lives. We do that. We create diversions, drama and distractions. Aren't we cute as a species?
Be the brave ones. Be willing to go straight and to save detours for when summer season descends on your cute little New England town! Leave the rotaries to those who aren't sure they can slow down and look at their life on their own without a little help.
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