Are you ready to get off this roller coaster? I know I am. I am one who often says, don't blame the energy for your issue, but mama mia the last two weeks have me using every tool I can think of to keep the mouth under wraps. Not only do I have a quick wit, I can have a very quick and sharp tongue too. I have worked on myself diligently in the last decade to use the wit and not the sarcasm so it has been a great measure of how well I am doing. So far, so good but a deserted island for the next two days would be a good thing!
Granted we have had a busy two weeks and a few family challenges to deal with. Anyone out there have an adult child move home....you know of what I speak. I adore my daughter and it is fun to have her here but the rearranging of two households while working full time and squeezing in walks with the dog, a customer service issue with the business and training rides on the bike (whose idea was a triathlon relay team anyway? Oh, mine, crap.) have taken my naturally good nature and mixed in the amazingly challenging energy of universe to create a shorter fuse than I am accustomed to. This is life, I get that and give me five minutes and I can find the humor in just about anything.
For instance, in the midst of all of this, someone decided to take letters off my name on the sign in our building. The first time I saw it the downstairs sign read icki Baird. I laughed at it and didn't pay too much mind to it except to contact my landlord and say I needed to buy a consonant. I appreciated the creativity of seeing icki in my name and using it. To be honest, in forty five years, it never occurred to me. THAT was even funnier to me.
The next day I walk into my building and don't pay much attention to the sign but when I get to my office a building mate says to me, "did you see there is now an "a" missing from your last name?" I looked at her with a what are you talking about face and then in hit me, I was now icki Bird. I still thought it was funny and called the landlord's office to say, better send a vowel too. It wasn't until I went to get lunch (highly recommend the Dawn's Delight salad at Baba Louie's) that I realized the sign UPSTAIRS was gouged out too. Not scratched out or played with, but gouged out.
It got real then. Vicki Baird was known in the building as Icki Bird. Well, this Icki Bird has had enough. There is only so much pressurized energy a person can take and for me, defacing my landlord's property while trying to make a point that you didn't get your way was one too many things for me tolerate. I decided then that my being angry was totally ok. I tell people all the time that all emotions are valid but I hadn't let myself have them. I harnessed the moment (because my anger passes so quickly, there is rarely a benefit to the charge) and made sure there was video, contacted the police and called the landlord's office AGAIN.
Someone may use their anger to try to hurt us but what we do with it is up to us. I could have taken the road of holding the anger and confronting the person (yup, we know who it is) and justified my own anger with words, but appropriate action and boundaries are enough. I also printed out my name on paper and put it over the defaced property. Claim and clear the space again. I had to work quickly because the humor was coming back again and I could see that it was not against me but rather a reflection of the other person's inner angst and there was nothing I could do with that.
Perhaps someone does think I am an Icki Bird, but that is none of my damn business. They can. It is still a free country. What I believe about myself is much more important and where I want to put my attention.
So, the moral of this story? Hang in there, the energy is shifting in two days and if someone is willing to rename you, check in and see if it resonates before ordering your new sign!
I think I'll keep Vicki, it seems to fit,
Vicki
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